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How to learn from my own mistakes?


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Posted

So there's that one girl that I'd been dating for a long time. I recently decided that I should move on, there's all the detailed information in my last thread:

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/543572-don-t-know

 

So with all the great advices that I got, I came to the conclusion that the best thing to do was to move on and date an other girl.

 

But like you can read in the other thread, I had a really hard time with this girl, she was always using me to get attention whenever she wanted to, but never wanted to give me what I want. She made sure that I stayed hooked by giving me scraps of affection and interest, but whenever I wanted to get serious and make a move she was starting ignoring me for a couple of days.

 

Could you take the time to read my previous thread and tell me what I did wrong? I really don't want to be trapped in a situation like that again. Please help me.

Posted

The only thing you've done wrong is putting so much effort with this girl. I think you need to take a step back, realize your self worth, and move on. She sounds very immature. She isn't ready for a relationship.

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Posted

But there's really nothing else that I've done wrong? I really want to know, because the past three months were really difficult for me.

 

I was like always stucked in that kind of grey zone she put me in. That zone when you're never sure about what's happening. That's honestly one of my worst experiences.

 

If there's anything I can change to avoid this grey zone next time, please tell me. And if you need more information, I all explained it in detail in my previous thread. :)

Posted (edited)
So there's that one girl that I'd been dating for a long time. I recently decided that I should move on, there's all the detailed information in my last thread:

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/543572-don-t-know

 

So with all the great advices that I got, I came to the conclusion that the best thing to do was to move on and date an other girl.

 

But like you can read in the other thread, I had a really hard time with this girl, she was always using me to get attention whenever she wanted to, but never wanted to give me what I want. She made sure that I stayed hooked by giving me scraps of affection and interest, but whenever I wanted to get serious and make a move she was starting ignoring me for a couple of days.

 

Could you take the time to read my previous thread and tell me what I did wrong? I really don't want to be trapped in a situation like that again. Please help me.

 

IMO your mistake was **continuing to allow her** to treat you like a piece of crap, tossing you scraps whenever she got bored, and allowing her to string you along.

 

Yes, she is a dysfunctional mess, emotionally damaged, manipulative and selfish, but YOU were the one who allowed her to treat you that way, that's on YOU.

 

Next time, if you ever encounter such a sick and damaged individual again, DON'T allow it! Wish her well and say buh bye. And move on immediately. Do not stick around and continue to tolerate her bull shyt.

 

My guess is she lost a little respect for you when you kept allowing yourself to be pulled in. Giving her license to continue messing with your head ...and heart.

 

And maybe you even lost a little respect for yourself too.

 

Lesson learned. When a woman starts playing hot/cold and push/pull games with you, even though you really really like her, maintain your self-respect and walk away. Immediately and for good. Block, delete, whatever you need to do to move on.

 

Women like her don't change. Expecting that she would was another mistake.

Edited by katiegrl
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Posted

You just need more self confidence.

 

Self confidence will buffer you from this kind of behavior, so you can think clearly how to deal with the situation or any other such situation in the future.

 

I am telling you about self confidence because what you did do wrong was to allow her behavior to disrupt your 'vibe'... what i am talking about is that personality vibe that women find attractive in men. Once your vibe starts being disturbed she will respond more negatively in kind, it is a vicious circle.

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