bc72fgbjbc Posted August 18, 2015 Posted August 18, 2015 Okay people thanks for reading me, sorry for the grammar, I'm not a native speaker.. ;-( I decided to do my best to seperate my history for each days. And yeah maybe it looks weird but I prefer voice chat over phone calling for some reason aha Okay so four weeks ago there's a random girl that started texting me on facebook (I'm not a big fan of social medias but I still met some nice people on them) and she was really attractive on her profile picture so I texted back (something I don't always do for random people). We had a pretty good conversation so we chatted the next day, and the next day, and... all nights. We eventually voiced chat a little bit. After approximately 10 days we were sending <3 and xx and she looked really interested saying that I'm important to her and all that stuff. After 14 days I got a date with her. We went to movies to watch a kind of drama movie (that I don't really remember the name) but nothing really special happened (she was really shy, I don't have an high self-esteem myself but hers seemed pretty low) we only talked a little bit before and after the movie and I said I had a good time and that we should see each other again. She said ''yes'' and then we said goodbyes and just walked away in opposite directions (we don't have cars so the walk was kind of long, an hour, at least). We chatted again something like two hours later and she looked kind of mad for some reasons.. For three days she almost ignored me completely (no more xx or <3 or cute names) after two days I asked what was going on and she said she was still interested in me but ''less than before'' and that she ''don't know why'' it really hurt my feelings (a lot) and I got kind of mad and I wrote that I was ''starting to question myself if she was ever interested or if she was just playing games''. She texted back that my message hurt her feelings and that she was just having an hard time with ''personnal things''. I had to apologize (like 2 or 3 times lol) but nothing seemed to work so I just decided to ignore her for at least one day. And the day after she texted me with a big <3 (yess!) saying that she tought about things in her life and that now she was okay. I was happy and we had some great conversations while chatting and voice chatting, but (a big but) we never saw each other again in real life, I brought the subject some times but she never really seemed that interested. Then day 19, I'm preparing to go to camping in nature with friends for 5 days and there's just few spots where I can get cellular network and text her. So I wanted to have a good talk with her before leaving, I eventually said in voice chat that I feel something special for her, she looked really happy about it (a lot) so I left in good terms with the person I love.. For these 5 days I hadn't had a lot of occasions to talk to her, but I tried to leave one message every day, she looked happy about it saying that it was good to have of my news. Day 24, came back from camping, chatting with her all night, same thing for the next two days. Day 27, we were having an other great conversation, but while we were asking questions to each other, I asked this question: the other day, why did she suddenly star it being mad at me and ignoring me? (I was cool about it, just asked it one time and pushed nothing, but I saw nothing offensive in that simple question) but she started being mad at me and ignoring me again. She said that my question was remembering her bad things and that she will not answer it. The next day (#28, today) I woke up like ''wtf, what did just happen last night'' at first I felt guilty and bad but... I did nothing wrong and I shouldn't feel guilty about what happended last night. This time, I decided to not apologize and just not text her for some time. But she finally texted me tonight but at first I didn't get to involved in the conversation I just said her the way I feel and that I don't want to be treated like sh*t. She was mad at start but I ignored her texts and then she apologized (kind of, I guess) and we had a normal conversation again. Seriously, I have no idea where this is going. I don't even know if we can call it ''dating'' lol. Anyways, I'm looking if some more-experienced people could help me.. So what should I do?
Author bc72fgbjbc Posted August 18, 2015 Author Posted August 18, 2015 You don't know each other yet... Yeah you're right. But everything seems so complicated with her, I never understand what's going on. Should I continue texting her and ask for an other date or should I just stop?
Satu Posted August 18, 2015 Posted August 18, 2015 I can't tell you what to do, but I wouldn't bother. Too much drama. 3
smackie9 Posted August 18, 2015 Posted August 18, 2015 Sometimes we get so desperate for a relationship we are willing to take anything, even with drama, baggage, metal issues, etc. She's immature and craves drama because it's something she has control over. You finding yourself in a hot mess is what she wants to happen so it keeps the attention focused on her. Since this is over the net, it's not worth your time. Meet a nice girl in real life that can physically spend time with you, and not demand it by causing drama through a computer screen. 1
Author bc72fgbjbc Posted August 19, 2015 Author Posted August 19, 2015 (edited) Since this is over the net, it's not worth your time. Meet a nice girl in real life that can physically spend time with you, and not demand it by causing drama through a computer screen. Maybe I should just move on and meet an other girl, but it would be really painful. I mean I really feel something. She even sent me a very long text this morning saying that I'm important for her and she's sorry for the way she threated me and that she just needed some time. Then I asked if she eventually want a second date, she said yes. Tonight we had an other conversation as usually (this time only by texts) she always took a lot of time to answer, that wasn't really a great conversation, to be honest. So I think she's interested too, but like you said she's kind of immature and seems to like these drama things. But being a man with anxiousness problems I usually try to stay away from this drama and keep my life as simple as possible lol. So that's the reason why I should maybe move on. I still don't know if I'll set that second date.. Edited August 19, 2015 by Jxabynebk
Author bc72fgbjbc Posted September 23, 2015 Author Posted September 23, 2015 It's been a month already but I got an update for you. I have been continuing to talk to that girl. Always ups and downs, one day she says she's in love with me, the other day she almost completely ignores me.. Always the same thing. Then, I learnt that she had sex with one of my friend. My friend didn't know that I was dating her so it's ok, I was not mad at him, just mad at her because she knew that he's my friend.. She apologized, I ignored her for two days but finally texted her back (maybe one of the worst mistake of my life). We (finally) set a second date, it was last weekend. It was a really great evening with her. Went to movies, kissed, but nothing more... And when I got back at home I texted her ''good night'' like I always do, but she ignored me. So I called her the next day, but she seemed really mad. Later, she explained me that she really appreciated her time with me, but she doesn't really know if she wants to be in a relationship. I gave her two days to think about it, but she still don't know. I asked for an other date this friday, but she answered ''hum, idk, I'm probably already doing something''. Today, she wrote me a big text saying that she still loves me but she's lost and she always hurt my feelings unintentionally because she has been hurt many times before. She also wrote that she doesn't know why I would want to be in a relationship with a depressed girl. And finished with a ''maybe we should move on and stop seeing each other, but i dont know what I want...''. When she says she loves me, it seems sincere, and I love her too but it's true that she always hurt me feelings... Any advices would be appreciated, I really feel bad down right now...
kassy Posted September 23, 2015 Posted September 23, 2015 Stop talking to her and move on! She doesn't want to date you. She is no good for you. 1
Author bc72fgbjbc Posted September 23, 2015 Author Posted September 23, 2015 But why is she always dragging me back when I ignore her. When I stop talking to her she always text a "I need to talk to you" and tells me that she still loves me but don't know what to do. And why doesn't she directly tells me that she doesn't want to date me anymore? Each time I ask for it, the only answer that I get is a "I dont know". Seriously it's the most annoying answer she could give me. At least with a "no" I could be sure it's time to move on, but she always say "I dont know". Is she playing with me? Why doesn't she let me move on?
bettermistakes Posted September 23, 2015 Posted September 23, 2015 She's just using you to get attention when she wants some, but she's not going to give you what you really want. Time to block her and move on. It's not worth all the stress and anxiety. It's a painful lesson to learn, but once you've learned it, it gets easier! 1
Author bc72fgbjbc Posted October 26, 2015 Author Posted October 26, 2015 So after all your great feedback I tried to do what you all told me to do (to not bother anymore and move on) but each time I try to ignore her she tries to kind of drag me back again. I can't have a damn 2 days break without having her texting me, and when I don't answer she starts being mad at me. Sometimes I fail and answer I even went to see her two more times (yeah, I know, shame on me). I still feel something for her so I feel trapped. I even once asked her if we were officially dating again, and she said ''I don't know, it would be strange''. Then she starts ignoring my texts again. So that's it for the past month, I try to ignore her, fail, go see her, and then she's ignoring me, then I feel bad. Always the same thing lol. Like you all wrote, I really need to move on. But how? I really need help on this one, please...
smackie9 Posted October 26, 2015 Posted October 26, 2015 It's easy, delete her from everything so she cant contact you. As for you, go out and see the world, be with friends, have a good time.
Versacehottie Posted October 26, 2015 Posted October 26, 2015 So after all your great feedback I tried to do what you all told me to do (to not bother anymore and move on) but each time I try to ignore her she tries to kind of drag me back again. I can't have a damn 2 days break without having her texting me, and when I don't answer she starts being mad at me. Sometimes I fail and answer I even went to see her two more times (yeah, I know, shame on me). I still feel something for her so I feel trapped. I even once asked her if we were officially dating again, and she said ''I don't know, it would be strange''. Then she starts ignoring my texts again. So that's it for the past month, I try to ignore her, fail, go see her, and then she's ignoring me, then I feel bad. Always the same thing lol. Like you all wrote, I really need to move on. But how? I really need help on this one, please... Make peace with the fact that she is going to be mad at you for "deserting" her. Make peace with the fact that you are not going to be able to keep texting/staying in contact with her. Once you have that straight in your head, do it and don't look back. This is too much. You sound young. Life is supposed to be fun. Three gf's from now, you won't even remember this one's name. Wait try 1 or2 gf's from now. Make a commitment to yourself that you want better and do the steps that it takes to make that happen. Psychologically, when something is "almost" within reach we become even more attached. Once you recognize that and recognize that really is your ego that is hooked, you might be able to separate your "feelings" about her from wanting to be with her. She's a dead end. You knew that months ago. Initially focus on something not-girl-related like fitness or your friends or a hobby so you can push yourself away. The sooner you meet another girl though, the better. though if it's too soon, it just might cause you to think of how much better you like this one (which is a thing in your mind from not being able to get her; it's not really the way you feel for real). Keep moving. 1
xcupid Posted October 26, 2015 Posted October 26, 2015 Block her. Delete her. Don't contact her. Look for someone else who knows what she wants and isn't into drama. Good luck. 1
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