Wewon Posted November 16, 2015 Posted November 16, 2015 As far as the frequency of arguments, who knows? I think that it comes down to how you argue and if those arguments are productive or do they leave you feeling raw and violated when they're over. Arguing every other day and later laughing about it and seeing the other person's point of view is far more healthy than arguing twice a month and walking away feeling unheard and misunderstood and as though you've been ripped to shreds. One of the things that I've learned about relationships, and why drives a lot of my input here, is that what you're ultimately signing up for is the other person's character. So what might seem like a minor annoyance, coming from a mean-spirited or selfish place is more alarming to me than a major blow up, that was done with noble intentions. Because given a chance, people with good character want to correct their misdeeds, people with poor character become indignant.
Wewon Posted November 16, 2015 Posted November 16, 2015 yes its my first. And i wish for it to be my only one. Im not a fan of dating and meeting lots of girls. I am concerned that your fear of breaking up will cause you to make decisions that you will later regret. I was talking to a friend a while back, the things in life that we regret are not our misteps, but things that we do from our lower selves (fear, spite, greed, vanity, etc.). There are very few things that I've done in fear that I'm really glad about, short of running out of harms way. 1
hotpotato Posted November 16, 2015 Posted November 16, 2015 Instead of telling her to shut up next time, put a ball gag in her mouth. Dont forget to pull her hair!
Author memento mori Posted December 22, 2015 Author Posted December 22, 2015 Guess you all were right, she ended the relationship. And ofcourse she did it in the worst way, telling me all my Flaws and how i would never be able to tale care Of a girl, any girl. Thanks for the support, wish me luck
PegNosePete Posted December 22, 2015 Posted December 22, 2015 Her response is usually "i can say what i want, you have to stop being insecure". Isn't it funny, how in the same sentence she can validate her right to free speech, yet deny you yours? Surely if she can say what she wants, then so can you? She has no respect for you. She is incredibly rude and insensitive. But your reaction is not good either. Instead, you should tell her that you are not Mr Grey and have no intention of changing to become him, and she can either accept you as you are and stop trying to change you, or she can go and have Mr. Grey all to herself. Sorry you got dumped, but my advice would have been to dump her anyway. The relationship is dead. If someone is saying hurtful things in response to a genuine apology, it's pretty much a dead horse. No point flogging it. 2
Els Posted December 22, 2015 Posted December 22, 2015 Celebrity crushes are perfectly fine and normal, but constantly comparing your partner to them and saying "I wish you were more like X" is NOT OKAY. That is taking things way too far and oversteps most reasonable people's boundaries. If she had wanted some sexual domination, there are FAR better ways of asking for it than that. It's a damn good thing she left - you dodged a bullet. Now you can finally work on yourself and your boundaries/self-esteem without her dragging you down. And when you have, maybe you'll find a girl who actually has some respect for you.
Els Posted December 22, 2015 Posted December 22, 2015 OP - you're IGNORING the signals she's been giving you for a long time. She's enamored with the 50 Shades sexual mentality and wants to explore. You mistakenly assume she has a 'low sex drive' because she's only had sex twice with you this last year. That's probably not from a low sex drive - it's probably because it's boring for her. Step it up. She's clearly into exploring BDSM. That was my thought as well - the reason she appears to have a low sex drive is because vanilla isn't doing it for her. But that's really besides the point - it doesn't matter why she did what she did, doesn't change the fact that she was being a total and complete bitch. There are so many other ways to encourage BDSM in the bedroom that don't involve making your partner feel like sh_t. And it's not just a one-off mistake, she does it again and again even after he tells her to stop. This isn't about their sex life not satisfying her, it's about her having zero respect for boundaries. The OP is better off without her.
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