Jump to content

Is a relationship with this guy worth pursuing?


While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

Posted (edited)

Last month, I posted a question in this forum about a guy who's been ignoring me and I got a lot of great advice. It helped me confirm that it was in fact my fault and that I probably ruined my chances with him by basically "rejecting" him (not on purpose, I'm just clueless when it comes to this stuff). Most of those who replied agreed that the only way to fix it would be to come clean about my feelings and ask him out to see if he still liked me. But I guess that at the end of the day, I was too afraid to do it and instead I just kept waiting in hope that he would start talking to me again. No such luck though...

 

So, my question is: is this still worth pursuing? It's been 2 months since we last talked to each other face to face, 1 month since we last texted. He continues to avoid me and acts like I don't exist when we run into each other. As for me, I'm still a mess. I've never felt this way about anyone and it's driving me crazy, especially since I know that I was the one who screwed up. I know that it's up to me now but I'm so afraid of taking the first step, mainly because of two reasons:

- We're both exchange students at the moment and I'll be leaving in 2 months after this semester is over, while he's going to stay until summer. Even after the exchange is over, we still live in different countries

- I've never had a serious relationship with a guy due to my fear of letting people get too close. This is the first time I've developed such strong feelings for someone and it's scary how depressed I feel about a guy I only went on two dates with

 

Do you think that it's worth taking the risk or should I just try to get over it? If so, how do I stop thinking about him? I really miss him but I'm not sure if it's worth pursuing a relationship right now, or if he's still interested in the first place. What should I do?

 

Here's a link to my other thread: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/549282-why-he-ignoring-me-all-sudden

Edited by aquabubble.94
Posted

Sure if you still like him. But just don't be surprised if he has moved on and found someone else.

Posted

There are plenty of other fish in the sea. I'd say move along.

Posted

Actively take him off your radar.

If you see him out of your peripheral vision don't even look at him.

Find yourself a crush (at least) to get this guy off your mind.

He ignores you actively.

Treat him the same.

  • Author
Posted
There are plenty of other fish in the sea. I'd say move along.

 

But how do I get over him? I keep thinking about him all the time and I don't know how to just move on. Like I said, it's a first time I feel so strongly about someone and it scares me :(

Posted
But how do I get over him? I keep thinking about him all the time and I don't know how to just move on. Like I said, it's a first time I feel so strongly about someone and it scares me :(

 

Big hint...stopping looking at him helps hugely with this...you won't be looking to see if you get any reaction or none. Promise! It works! :)

Posted

Find somebody else.

Posted

Don't make this about whether or not you'll have a relationship with him. I read your other post. Poor guy. You were awkward and ungracious. It's due to inexperience, and it's understandable. Don't feel bad. Why not write him a letter and tell him how you feel, without any expectations. Do it even if you know he has moved on. You have some regrets and you let it build up to the point it feels like you really want him. You need to right a wrong then move on.

Posted

Do you think that it's worth taking the risk or should I just try to get over it? If so, how do I stop thinking about him? I really miss him but I'm not sure if it's worth pursuing a relationship right now, or if he's still interested in the first place. What should I do?

 

This game is all about risk. You have to put yourself out there, show interest, make yourself available, etc. or you're just being emotionally unavailable (this is where you failed before). Be nervous, tell him you like him, open up your heart to someone before it's too late.

  • Author
Posted (edited)
Don't make this about whether or not you'll have a relationship with him. I read your other post. Poor guy. You were awkward and ungracious. It's due to inexperience, and it's understandable. Don't feel bad. Why not write him a letter and tell him how you feel, without any expectations. Do it even if you know he has moved on. You have some regrets and you let it build up to the point it feels like you really want him. You need to right a wrong then move on.

 

Yeah, it was not the best way to phrase it but I didn't know how to ask the question. So you don't think I like him? Then why do I feel so sad all the time? I keep thinking about him and I really miss him. Doesn't that mean that I have feelings for him? Sorry if it's a stupid question but I've never felt this way before so it's completely new to me

Edited by aquabubble.94
Posted

Please don't waste your time, you will 100% get even more hurt if you continue. He obviously doesn't want a committed relationship, so don't waste your time on people who don't give you their time!

  • Author
Posted
Please don't waste your time, you will 100% get even more hurt if you continue. He obviously doesn't want a committed relationship, so don't waste your time on people who don't give you their time!

 

To be honest, I don't even know if I want a committed relationship. And he knows that I've never had a boyfriend because I told him that it's not really my thing. He seemed surprised and of course, the follow-up question was what is your thing. Maybe I shouldn't have said that but I told him about having a fwb in the past. So yeah, I guess that was a hint but he either didn't catch on or he wanted something more. No idea... But he did seem to take things slow with me even after I told him that.

×
×
  • Create New...