BronzeAgeJaeger217 Posted October 11, 2015 Share Posted October 11, 2015 IMO what modern sensibilities show in relationships is the ability for individuals to exercise behaviors and have preferences, not any sort of trend toward male or female dominance. Whereas in the past, culture definitely dictated and influenced male-dominant relationships. So today we're simply moreso allowed by society to be individuals and practice our preferences and inclinations within the dynamics of our interpersonal relationships. That means any combination's a go and you're not so much answering to societal pressure to be a certain way. As applies to you OP, it sounds like you're a middle of the road person who doesn't want to be pushed around so to speak but also doesn't want to have to wear the pants in the relationship all the time. I think all you need to do to correct course is simply communicate that to your partner and behave accordingly. I wouldn't expect a specific behavior set based on gender alone anymore. I'm def the 'in charge' type, so it takes all kinds. Yeah I think I remember you saying you have approached guys before and made the first move right? Link to post Share on other sites
seekingluck Posted October 11, 2015 Share Posted October 11, 2015 I think it has more to do with trust and vulnerability. If a woman can lean on her man to take care of her sometimes, it makes him feel masculine and needed. But if she tries to do everything herself, it makes him feel useless in the relationship. I think this is true. And one area I struggle with in dating. I try not to be "classist" about my partners income. What happens in reality is I have a pretty good income, and I haven't met anyone who makessignificantly less who is comfortable with it. For some men it feels like I took their job by making more money. Or feel sad they can't afford to get me stuff I can get myself. What happens next is they want to find some otber stuff to take care of, like putting together furniture, but getting the balance right is hard, they are too traditional and the money dynamic is too hard to overcome. Link to post Share on other sites
lino Posted October 12, 2015 Share Posted October 12, 2015 No matter how far supposed equality has come, men are still expected to be the leaders and bread winners in a relationship. I don't foresee it changing anytime soon, even if it would be refreshing to see. Link to post Share on other sites
seekingluck Posted October 12, 2015 Share Posted October 12, 2015 No matter how far supposed equality has come, men are still expected to be the leaders and bread winners in a relationship. I don't foresee it changing anytime soon, even if it would be refreshing to see. I don't care about who is winning the bread, but you need to have your own bread, and not care that I have more. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BronzeAgeJaeger217 Posted October 12, 2015 Share Posted October 12, 2015 Ya I feel if I ever master this trait or skill, I'll probably always be bitter and resentful, jealous, envious of people who had relationships earlier in life, before I did. Link to post Share on other sites
lino Posted October 14, 2015 Share Posted October 14, 2015 I don't care about who is winning the bread, but you need to have your own bread, and not care that I have more. That's a very fair attitude. Would be nice if it was more common Link to post Share on other sites
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