StocksnBlondes Posted October 3, 2015 Posted October 3, 2015 How I wishe it was switch for 6 months where women have to take the lead when it comes to getting dates. Only then will they truly understand east it's like. Well thanks for the giggle. I'd take that bet for $1M and you'd be a check writer. Why? Because as a woman I know what woman want and desire.
StocksnBlondes Posted October 3, 2015 Posted October 3, 2015 Online dating is nearly useless for guys. You have to be well above average to even start getting responses back from below to average girls. I've used it quite extensively and it works great for when I'm just trying to get laid and don't care too much on how the girl looks. I can get 4, 5's, and a few 6's no problem off it. The problem comes in when I'm trying to get the cute and above girls. They get swarmed on those sites so no one ends up getting them. Except maybe the top 1% guys. For example, I had one very cute girl responding to me fast, she eventually asked me to meet up with her. I said sure and asked for her number and when she's free. 5 minutes later I notice she's deleted my messages. Either I said something wrong or she had found someone better looking in those 5 minutes to meet up with. You only get that picky when you're being swarmed with options. I've even had that happen in real life. I'll have girls ask for my number, then the next day never respond to my texts. If girls have so many options they can just toss any guy who they have the smallest issue with, its no wonder no guys are having any luck. You were probably cat fished with that one girl. Use Tineye.com to verify. Maybe the next time make a hobby connection with the girls you meet so it's less stressful for them and when you text you can follow up with "hey it's so and so from (where ever you met) remember that band we talked about they're playing at ...do you want to go with me and some friends" It's a numbers game. The squeaky wheel phenomenon. Be confident not cocky. Did you just text once? Also ...why is a girl asking you out?? You should be asking the girl out! Man up
40 Fonzarelli Posted October 3, 2015 Posted October 3, 2015 An average looking girl becomes a hottie online. Gets flooded with messages and now has tons of options which equals pickyness. I refuse to date down. This is why I prefer real life dating. I do OLD as a supplement. 2
chumble Posted October 3, 2015 Posted October 3, 2015 One could ask, "is it really that difficult to play the piano?" Depends what you consider effort. For some of us, finding a date is hard, yes. But I think this thread only intends to ask it rhetorically. Your purpose is basically just to express your lack of sympathy for men. Like, pshaw, my single girls can't find them, not the decent ones anyway! I think the truth is that, for whatever reason, if you draw a venn diagram of single men and single women, they do not overlap in the way in which either gender thinks they should. 1
Revan32 Posted October 3, 2015 Posted October 3, 2015 You were probably cat fished with that one girl. Use Tineye.com to verify. Maybe the next time make a hobby connection with the girls you meet so it's less stressful for them and when you text you can follow up with "hey it's so and so from (where ever you met) remember that band we talked about they're playing at ...do you want to go with me and some friends" It's a numbers game. The squeaky wheel phenomenon. Be confident not cocky. Did you just text once? Also ...why is a girl asking you out?? You should be asking the girl out! Man up I generally ask out most of them. Sometimes they'll beat me to it though and ask to exchange numbers. I'm begging to think that's just a nice WA of ending a conversation though with all the girls who have asked then not followed up.
insert_name Posted October 3, 2015 Posted October 3, 2015 The weird thing though is that at least 50% of my single female friends complain constantly about how hard they find it to meet men they really connect with and wish to settle down with. Sure, they get dates and could easily get sex. But not dates that seem to lead to meaningful relationships. Maybe their standards are too high? I would put good money down that they are ones ghosting on the guys after the first date rather than the other way around so the opportunities are there for them but they think they can do better. 1
StocksnBlondes Posted October 3, 2015 Posted October 3, 2015 An average looking girl becomes a hottie online. Gets flooded with messages and now has tons of options which equals pickyness. I refuse to date down. This is why I prefer real life dating. I do OLD as a supplement. Woman have always been picky. It's in our DNA ...evolutionarily we select for the best ...it's the sperm/egg thing. Spent a week on this in one of my biology courses. I do agree with you though that OLD has made for some crazy dynamics. It's just not the 4-5 scale woman ...in my demographic (men 44-56) guys who are very very average think they are Brad Pitt. It's pretty crazy. These guys want to date hot woman 10-20 yrs younger than themselves ...and they don't care how crazy these woman are or how much of a financial disaster they are or how many baby daddies they have ... Not all but a lot ...and usually their emotional intelligence level is a 4 out of a 10. 2
mrldii Posted October 3, 2015 Posted October 3, 2015 For what it's worth, even though I AM female (and therefore can date 'whenever I want to'), I have found that when I sit on my couch with curlers in my hair and in my pajamas all day, alternating between chowing down on Ben & Jerry's Chocolate Fudge Brownie Ice Cream, and chewing on my pillow silently screaming how I never seem to meet anybody I don't get as many dates, either. Hmmmm... 7
StocksnBlondes Posted October 3, 2015 Posted October 3, 2015 One could ask, "is it really that difficult to play the piano?" Depends what you consider effort. For some of us, finding a date is hard, yes. But I think this thread only intends to ask it rhetorically. Your purpose is basically just to express your lack of sympathy for men. Like, pshaw, my single girls can't find them, not the decent ones anyway! I think the truth is that, for whatever reason, if you draw a venn diagram of single men and single women, they do not overlap in the way in which either gender thinks they should. Ok so what are the variables in the Venn diagram? And the problem is subjectivity ...as in a group of men who people vote as a 5-6..:a group of woman who people vote as a 5-6 overlap with categories such has values, temperament, interests etc (pick the top 4 variables). The problem is a lot of 5 women go for a 10 guy and a lot of 5 men for a 10 woman. It's really crazy this dynamic where someone's ego completely takes over reality. You won't even have an overlap!!!! I do feel that OLD exacerbates this phenomenon because of desperation and resources and gullibility (do 50 yr old men really think that hot 25 yr old is in love with them?!!!) and just plain low self esteem and a few other things I can't think of right now because I'm too excited about someone I've been talking to just asked me out to dinner tonight !!! 2
autumnnight Posted October 3, 2015 Posted October 3, 2015 I think geography is definitely a factor. In addition, I do think most people go through slumps. I also think that when the new generation of daters come up and the rules change, it can be difficult. For example, I cannot imagine using a mode of dating where the deciding factor is, for the most part, which way to swipe. However, I think that most of the people who have never had success dating, who lament their lack of success at dating, and who become bitter, jaded, and angry at the opposite sex over dating....I think they have several traits in common that make dating difficult for THEM, and not simply their gender. And the toughest part is that it becomes a vicious cycle. The less success they have, the angrier they get and the more they blame the opposite gender, which in turn makes them even LESS attractive and dateable. 5
Shining One Posted October 3, 2015 Posted October 3, 2015 For what it's worth, even though I AM female (and therefore can date 'whenever I want to'), I have found that when I sit on my couch with curlers in my hair and in my pajamas all day, alternating between chowing down on Ben & Jerry's Chocolate Fudge Brownie Ice Cream, and chewing on my pillow silently screaming how I never seem to meet anybody I don't get as many dates, either. Hmmmm...Both genders will have a tough time getting dates in this scenario. A good comparison would involve testing multiple scenarios: Both sitting at home passively (waiting for initial messages) using OLD.Both sitting at home actively (sending initial messages) using OLD.Both at a bar passively waiting for approaches.Both at a bar actively approaching the opposite sex.I think you'll find that the woman ends up with more date opportunities than the man when you add up the results. Whether or not either gender ends up with more dates depends on how selective each individual is. By the way, I know few women who love OLD due to the fact they can get dates while in their pajamas without makeup. I'm sure the men who are successful on OLD love that they can get dates while in an unpresentable state.
StocksnBlondes Posted October 3, 2015 Posted October 3, 2015 For what it's worth, even though I AM female (and therefore can date 'whenever I want to'), I have found that when I sit on my couch with curlers in my hair and in my pajamas all day, alternating between chowing down on Ben & Jerry's Chocolate Fudge Brownie Ice Cream, and chewing on my pillow silently screaming how I never seem to meet anybody I don't get as many dates, either. Hmmmm... MRLdii ...I like so many of your comments on this forum ...you're obviously very emotionally and otherwise intelligent ...so what's up? I've just started dating again this week (after dropping a guy last week for reasons I'll actually begin my very first thread with) and I had 4 dates lined up. Have one tonight. I'm OLD ...and meeting people out. If I choose Ben and Jerry's it's by choice. I did have a date with a piece of german choc cake and red wine last night and deliciousness to the 10th power ... but that again was by choice. So what's up?
road Posted October 3, 2015 Posted October 3, 2015 Three things that effects a man's ability to date. He has strengths and weaknesses. They average out to how marketable he is. Income/wealth Social skills Appearance In the dating pool whether a man is in the bottom tier, middle tier, or top tier, he wants the best woman he can get. Women want the same. So when the top tier women will not date down and with many of the middle tier trying to date up to the next level. It leaves a shortage of equally matched women to go around for all of the men in the mid and bottom tiers of men. 1
mrldii Posted October 3, 2015 Posted October 3, 2015 ... So what's up? Not getting the question. The answer to the question IS in the post of mine that you'd quoted which prompted it. My point is - EVEN as a woman (who, as such 'can get dates whenever want') - if I, too, choose to sit alone in my home waiting for "a date" to show up at my front door, and expend NO energy to making it happen, not doing anything to even attempt to make myself more attractive, not making myself try something different ('cuz the Ben-and-Jerry pillow-munching is NOT working) I'm not going to have any dates, either. The problem usually is 'Insanity': doing the same thing over and over and over, and expecting different results. ESPECIALLY in this day and age, each of our worlds is as small and as limited as we [choose to] make it.
Woggle Posted October 3, 2015 Posted October 3, 2015 It's hard to find a quality person but getting a date is easy.
losangelena Posted October 3, 2015 Posted October 3, 2015 It's hard to find a quality person but getting a date is easy. That's been my experience.
StocksnBlondes Posted October 3, 2015 Posted October 3, 2015 (edited) Not getting the question. The answer to the question IS in the post of mine that you'd quoted which prompted it. My point is - EVEN as a woman (who, as such 'can get dates whenever want') - if I, too, choose to sit alone in my home waiting for "a date" to show up at my front door, and expend NO energy to making it happen, not doing anything to even attempt to make myself more attractive, not making myself try something different ('cuz the Ben-and-Jerry pillow-munching is NOT working) I'm not going to have any dates, either. The problem usually is 'Insanity': doing the same thing over and over and over, and expecting different results. ESPECIALLY in this day and age, each of our worlds is as small and as limited as we [choose to] make it. Ok I was a little slow on the uptake there. I now understand you were being facetious ... if one doesn't do things to make themselves more marketable and instead just sit on the couch they aren't going to get dates. Totally agree and that's why I went on 3 dates this week and the 4th tonight. I am looking to date just one person but these initial dates are part of the painful process. I keep myself fit and current whatever that means. If anyone out there is reading this thread ...do not sit home eating Ben and Jerry's with a woe is me attitude ...get out there and make it happen! Then come back and tell us the good stories:) Edited October 3, 2015 by StocksnBlondes 1
Woggle Posted October 3, 2015 Posted October 3, 2015 I know somebody who sits at home eating Ben and Jerry's and tons of men fall on her lap from the sky. It's cost her a fortune in roof repair bills. 3
StocksnBlondes Posted October 3, 2015 Posted October 3, 2015 I know somebody who sits at home eating Ben and Jerry's and tons of men fall on her lap from the sky. It's cost her a fortune in roof repair bills. Thanks for the belly woggle:) those guys sitting home eating Ben and Jerry's can really pack on the pounds. I must be slap happy his afternoon from reading these breads ...I'm still giggling
Revan32 Posted October 3, 2015 Posted October 3, 2015 But I think this thread only intends to ask it rhetorically. Your purpose is basically just to express your lack of sympathy for men. Like, pshaw, my single girls can't find them, not the decent ones anyway! . I always see this phrase. Girls can never find "decent" guys. The thing is, I never see girls out trying to find guys. I've had girls at church who I wasn't interested in, constantly tell me how they have no guys to date. Yet I look around and can spot about 50 decent looking guys sitting by themselves looking lonely. All those girls have to do is look halfway approachable and the guys would talk to them. Just today I had a guy sitting next to me tell me two girls kept looking at me. Yet every time I glance at them they quickly lower their views to the ground and avoid looking at me like their lives depended on it. If that guy hadn't said anything I would have never known they may be interested. Luckily he did so I went and got one of their numbers. I'm almost positive she's going to flake though. My point is - EVEN as a woman (who, as such 'can get dates whenever want') - if I, too, choose to sit alone in my home waiting for "a date" to show up at my front door, and expend NO energy to making it happen, not doing anything to even attempt to make myself more attractive, not making myself try something different ('cuz the Ben-and-Jerry pillow-munching is NOT working) I'm not going to have any dates, either. This really speaks for itself. As a women, you literally have to stay inside all day to not get any dates. As soon as you want one, you just put in a little effort to look good and leave the house. Guys have to put in huge amounts of effort to even get noticed by a girl. Most guys will approach and try to talk to dozens of girls and go through brutal rejection before they meet a girl who's at all receptive.
mrldii Posted October 3, 2015 Posted October 3, 2015 I know somebody who sits at home eating Ben and Jerry's and tons of men fall on her lap from the sky. It's cost her a fortune in roof repair bills. What flavor? Maybe I'll switch. 1
SomeDude16 Posted October 3, 2015 Posted October 3, 2015 I always see this phrase. Girls can never find "decent" guys. The thing is, I never see girls out trying to find guys. I've had girls at church who I wasn't interested in, constantly tell me how they have no guys to date. Yet I look around and can spot about 50 decent looking guys sitting by themselves looking lonely. All those girls have to do is look halfway approachable and the guys would talk to them. Just today I had a guy sitting next to me tell me two girls kept looking at me. Yet every time I glance at them they quickly lower their views to the ground and avoid looking at me like their lives depended on it. If that guy hadn't said anything I would have never known they may be interested. Luckily he did so I went and got one of their numbers. I'm almost positive she's going to flake though. This really speaks for itself. As a women, you literally have to stay inside all day to not get any dates. As soon as you want one, you just put in a little effort to look good and leave the house. Guys have to put in huge amounts of effort to even get noticed by a girl. Most guys will approach and try to talk to dozens of girls and go through brutal rejection before they meet a girl who's at all receptive. "Social Norms" bruh.... It's a double standard.
StocksnBlondes Posted October 3, 2015 Posted October 3, 2015 I always see this phrase. Girls can never find "decent" guys. The thing is, I never see girls out trying to find guys. I've had girls at church who I wasn't interested in, constantly tell me how they have no guys to date. Yet I look around and can spot about 50 decent looking guys sitting by themselves looking lonely. All those girls have to do is look halfway approachable and the guys would talk to them. Just today I had a guy sitting next to me tell me two girls kept looking at me. Yet every time I glance at them they quickly lower their views to the ground and avoid looking at me like their lives depended on it. If that guy hadn't said anything I would have never known they may be interested. Luckily he did so I went and got one of their numbers. I'm almost positive she's going to flake though. This really speaks for itself. As a women, you literally have to stay inside all day to not get any dates. As soon as you want one, you just put in a little effort to look good and leave the house. Guys have to put in huge amounts of effort to even get noticed by a girl. Most guys will approach and try to talk to dozens of girls and go through brutal rejection before they meet a girl who's at all receptive. Wa wa wa ...that's why God gave you more muscle ...you are the hunters ...go hunting. Man up. Close the deal. If you're a decent guy ...well spoken ...take charge ...kind ...a bit of humor /light flirting ...you're going to get dates. Maybe you need to take a sales course in closing the deal? 1
mrldii Posted October 3, 2015 Posted October 3, 2015 ...This really speaks for itself. As a women, you literally have to stay inside all day to not get any dates. As soon as you want one, you just put in a little effort to look good and leave the house. Guys have to put in huge amounts of effort to even get noticed by a girl. Most guys will approach and try to talk to dozens of girls and go through brutal rejection before they meet a girl who's at all receptive. Nahhhh. Once a day I have to get up off my forever-getting-more-sprawling lazy a** and head out to the store and get some more. Trust me on this one, NO man has ever hit on me while at at the store in my jammies and yesterday's make-up smeared down my face from the tears I shed, wallowing in self-pity. Actually, the reply speaks for itself: instead of seeing the big picture and getting the message behind it, some it's-soooo-hard-to-find-dates men discount the details as highly improbable, if not downright impossible. You caught me...I haven't used curlers in over a decade. 1
SomeDude16 Posted October 3, 2015 Posted October 3, 2015 Wa wa wa ...that's why God gave you more muscle ...you are the hunters ...go hunting. Man up. Close the deal. If you're a decent guy ...well spoken ...take charge ...kind ...a bit of humor /light flirting ...you're going to get dates. Maybe you need to take a sales course in closing the deal? Yeah, I agree with you knowing how to read signals and approach women is important as well as the fact that men have an expectation to take control and pursue women. However, I also think that a percentage of woman out there complain about the men who pursue them, and yet are unwilling to take an corrective action to fix it. If you are not attracting the type of guy you want, go out and find the man of your dreams, don't just sit around and wait for him to find you and hope. Hoping gets you nowhere, its doing that produces results. 1
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