RedRobin Posted October 5, 2015 Share Posted October 5, 2015 (edited) Quite honestly, that's entirely attainable for a higher tier 52 year old guy......You don't even have to be Mr Wonderful, either.... TFY no, not light years away at all. I don't know of any financially savvy, young, beautiful women who fit his description who aren't in it for the money. Unless she has daddy issues, or another man on the side... hence the 'independence' Those same couple of guys I mentioned above did eventually marry a younger woman, but the women weren't all that attractive and they came from other countries where fidelity is less important and money is more important. But that was in NY... Where I guess any guy will do for some women... I don't see too much of that up here in WA. OP, maybe you could suggest he go buy himself a bride from overseas. Or tell him to move to NY or Jersey or some other place in the NE. There might be some women there who might pony up for that kind of thing due to lack of other options and who don't want to move. Edited October 5, 2015 by RedRobin Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted October 5, 2015 Share Posted October 5, 2015 (edited) no, not light years away at all. I don't know of any financially savvy, young, beautiful women who fit his description who aren't in it for the money. Unless she has daddy issues, or another man on the side... hence the 'independence' Those same couple of guys I mentioned above did eventually marry a younger woman, but the women weren't all that attractive and they came from other countries where fidelity is less important and money is more important. OP, maybe you could suggest he go buy himself a bride from overseas. Sorry RR....we've hashed this out before, but your experiences(while entirely valid) aren't really representative of whats happening out there today.. I think its probably frustrating as hell for "age appropriate" women, that better quality older guys are finding normal functioning relationships with younger women....I don't even think its odd so much anymore...Ive even mentioned a few of my own personal acquaintances that have successful marriages with these women.. Here is why I think its happening... Younger guys have dropped the ball...They lack a lot of what many women desire..Stability, maturity, ..leadership qualities...etc,, Women so entrenched in their careers and don't desire motherhood as much as many of their peers...So the lack of desire to father any/more children on the part of the older guy doesn't become a deal breaker... Older guys taking better care of themselves...More so than ever,,,Sure, Id certainly agree that the wrinkled up old geezer with the young hottie is just a gold digger or daddy scenario... Understand, I am not in any way saying its anything I'd do or advocate, but I am seeing it all around me and the relationships/ marriages seem to be holding up as well as any other that I know of ....*shrug*.. TFY Edited October 5, 2015 by thefooloftheyear 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author NewLeaf512 Posted October 5, 2015 Author Share Posted October 5, 2015 If their dating life is as you've described, I would avoid fixing them up, taking them to parties, etc. I wouldn't want my reputation wrapped up with a womanizing, entitled older man. Anyway, how do you know it was the wife who cheated? In my entire life, I have only met one woman who was cheating on her H, and I dumped her as a friend. Nearly all of the 'successful' men I worked with who divorced did so because he essentially abandoned his wife, was a workaholic, and always had the rep of snagging some on the side with this co worker or that before finally getting caught. A couple of them tried getting with me, lol. So when they ended up divorced, guess who wasn't giving them the time of day? Long story short... This is not an attractive track record your friend and cousin are building. Only the women interested in their money will overlook it. Lots of women won't. I know I wouldn't and haven't. Hi RR and thanks for your post. Some of these fit the bill and they are both guilty as charged for workaholism, being exhausted and not providing needed attention. I am not in a family law specialisation but one of my former partners is and acting on behalf of both these 2 and they didn't get dissolutions they were divorced on grounds of the wife's infidelities in both cases. Worse for the friend not the cousin, before the nissi even came she moved her lover into the family home with 3 minor children as all but one of the 4 spouses involved was married quite young the second adolescence really seems right. Link to post Share on other sites
RedRobin Posted October 5, 2015 Share Posted October 5, 2015 Sorry RR....we've hashed this out before.... Understand, I am not in any way saying its anything I'd do or advocate, but I am seeing it all around me and the relationships/ marriages seem to be holding up as well as any other that I know of ....*shrug*.. TFY yes, we HAVE hashed it out before... and I don't see what you are seeing ... at all. I sure saw lots of guys TRYING to get that, and maybe a few women jumping for that... but those women weren't the pick of the litter at all. If you live in the NE, and I recall that you do, those women you are talking about probably don't have too many other options if they want to be married or remarried. I wasn't land locked, so I escaped as soon as possible. Most of my friends are long-time married people.. to someone close to their own age. The only relationships I've come across who had large age gaps are between former drug addicts, alcoholics, and others with some definite impairment. An attractive woman has no problems attracting age appropriate men. I can't say I have... even living in that hell hole called Upstate NY. Sure, I've had TONS of men who aren't age appropriate hit on me (younger and older). I just don't wave it around like I'm all that like a lot of guys here do. I have had TONS of men try to sweet talk me into something other than a committed relationship... but I don't consider that an age problem. I consider that a values problem... which is why I told the OP to stop helping these guys out. Their values aren't in line with a relationship minded woman of any age. Her friend and cousin have plenty of other avenues to fish in. That's usually how it goes with those men anyway. I've seen that plenty... The people around them figure out they are just messing around, and they stop getting invited to things and introduced to good women in their social circle. That's the choice they make... then they are obliged to surf OLD, to the chagrin of older and younger women alike who then come here and complain about all the 50+ men with skewed age ranges who are hitting on them. Rinse, repeat. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
RedRobin Posted October 5, 2015 Share Posted October 5, 2015 Hi RR and thanks for your post. Some of these fit the bill and they are both guilty as charged for workaholism, being exhausted and not providing needed attention. I am not in a family law specialisation but one of my former partners is and acting on behalf of both these 2 and they didn't get dissolutions they were divorced on grounds of the wife's infidelities in both cases. Worse for the friend not the cousin, before the nissi even came she moved her lover into the family home with 3 minor children as all but one of the 4 spouses involved was married quite young the second adolescence really seems right. Ok, well then that seems like proof enough. In no way would I ever blame the person cheated on... No matter what they did or didn't do in the marriage, the choice to cheat is still on the other person. If things were that bad, the person choosing to cheat could have divorced before things got to that point... Still, their actions (your friend and cousin) after the fact does leave one to question how they behaved while in the marriage. The whole 'going wild' thing afterwards... I dunno. All the men I knew who were genuinely broken hearted didn't act that way. They crawled into a hole for awhile to heal, then reemerged and dated responsibly after that, usually getting remarried or with a steady, age appropriate girl friend within a few years after the big breakup or divorce. I've gone out with a few guys who claimed to 'make up for lost time' after a divorce and it made me feel pretty icky. Not someone I'd want to continue dating no matter what the circumstances were for real. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted October 5, 2015 Share Posted October 5, 2015 Ok, well then that seems like proof enough. In no way would I ever blame the person cheated on... No matter what they did or didn't do in the marriage, the choice to cheat is still on the other person. If things were that bad, the person choosing to cheat could have divorced before things got to that point... Still, their actions (your friend and cousin) after the fact does leave one to question how they behaved while in the marriage. The whole 'going wild' thing afterwards... I dunno. All the men I knew who were genuinely broken hearted didn't act that way. They crawled into a hole for awhile to heal, then reemerged and dated responsibly after that, usually getting remarried or with a steady, age appropriate girl friend within a few years after the big breakup or divorce. I've gone out with a few guys who claimed to 'make up for lost time' after a divorce and it made me feel pretty icky. Not someone I'd want to continue dating no matter what the circumstances were for real. I was broken hearted after my divorce and went wild. The way I saw it I was sick and tired of being the nice gentlemen and now it was me time. I said I would rather die than remarry but of course I met a woman who changed my mind. I also like how you make the Northeast sound like some god forsaken third world country when it actually has one of the best standards of life in America and one of the lowest divorce rates. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted October 5, 2015 Share Posted October 5, 2015 Hi .... Problem statement: they both are wanting to date and maybe fall in love. Because of their lives and baggage they keep choosing women to go out with (one to three dates) that anyone who knows them have zero chance of working out. I want to know why they do this, and why they completely do not notice entirely suitable wonderful women right in front of them. Now here are the cases. This is really simple. They are physically and sexually attracted to these women that is why they choose them to date. The other so called more suitable women are not as physically and sexually attractive to these men as the other women. Hey it happens. Just because people look compatible on paper does not mean they make your heart race. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted October 5, 2015 Share Posted October 5, 2015 Hi SolG. I'm not dating either of them. One is a friend from uni and the other is my cousin. X Have you asked them why they overlook the "suitable" women and date the other type? I'm curious what was their response? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author NewLeaf512 Posted December 1, 2015 Author Share Posted December 1, 2015 Have you asked them why they overlook the "suitable" women and date the other type? I'm curious what was their response? Hi Still ... Sorry I missed your question completely. My cousin did actually have one date each with 2 women he deemed to be in the megawatt beautiful group. He was very attracted, I'm guessing neither of them were as they never were in contact after the date. My friend's update. He is still in analysis paralysis pining over women who won't give him the time of day. Another poster said it above, sense of entitlement, middle aged crisis, delusions of grandeur who knows? I've bowed out of the Yenta business. Neither one will ever be realistic! Link to post Share on other sites
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