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Decent looking.. not getting the time of day


Stage5Clinger

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from what I've heard, it's very hard for a man to stand out online.

 

I'd also always say...don't necessarily give up online dating but meeting IRL is always better when possible.

 

Actually its not. There are so many terrible profiles with bad pictures and awful write ups that its EASY to stand out IF you get some help and get a good write up and good pictures.

 

Bolded is OH so true...

 

Protec it is WAY too soon for you to be going dating. You are still hooked up on your ex and the girls will sniff that out a mile away. It will do your soul no good as they will just reject you and make you feel worse about yourself. Give yourself time!

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BronzeAgeJaeger217

Well, I guess that's why male birds need more colorful feathers, goes to show that human males need to do more than human females in order to attract the opposite sex

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cookiemonster26
Hey OP.

 

TBH, I haven't really played the online dating game but from what I've heard, it's very hard for a man to stand out online. I mean, women are SWAMPED with messages and likes and adds from men. Many of these men are commenting and talking to them. Most women do not even look at every man's profile or read every message simply because the influx is too much.

 

I also think it's easier to stand out online for women because men are basing their opinion largely off of the visual; her breasts, figure, face etc. Women have to 'read between the lines' to uncover the truth about men online often.

 

So it's important to remember that there is nothing wrong with you. It's just that online dating is hard for everyone.

 

You either get totally ignored or totally mobbed and can't see the wood for the trues. Add in a few fakes, people in relationships, perves, creepers, weirdos and time wasters and it's a big mix.

 

Just give it time.

 

It's like giving your CV in to a job. HUNDREDS of other CVs are on there table. What makes yours stand out?

 

I'd also always say...don't necessarily give up online dating but meeting IRL is always better when possible.

 

I never get swamped with msg online. Now I am very insecure

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LookAtThisPOst
Man, online dating discussions do go misogynistic quickly. :confused:

 

That said, welcome to my world, OP. I don't know what it is, but there's some intangible about online dating towards getting anywhere with it... and I honestly don't think it has much to do with being independently wealthy and working as a male model. Some people are at least marginally successful with it, and nowhere near that lofty perch.

 

Look at that video I posted. No way that "coffee expert" guy is pulling down stacks (especially with respect to the Manhattan market), he's average looking at best, and if you pause the video, his profile is dull as dirt. I've seen guys on forums who are handsome as hell, witty, and financially set that are getting WTF?! results. For instance, there was a cute alternative girl at lunch at the table next to me, the type usually into me, and her boyfriend was hot mess. He could be a cool guy and that should play into things, good on him if so, but I'm an interesting guy (at least I'd like to think), and the equivalent girl online wouldn't give me the time of day. Maybe there's a specific way people want to be communicated with online. Every other sentence in Farsi or something. He'll if I can figure it out. It's the quandary of our time.

 

Seriously though, not all women even like GQ guys with old money and the attitude that goes with it. Just like I will pass on the Barbies with high maintenance copy in their respective profs.

 

 

Yeah, I recall you talking about "townies", and I have to say, some of the local women...that I've already emailed and had event sent follow-up emails to, are still on the site (see their faces all the time).

 

I'm surprised some of them don't realize their dating options are quite limited...unless of course they open to dating a good hour away from their small town residence, they are pretty much stuck to a life of spinsterhood.

 

Some of them moved here, from some big, metro city from up north, to be closer to their parents and/or family (probably because they are getting older, or just prefer to be closer to family...can't blame them), but after having moved here, lived here a year, and go "Shyt, mostly old men and toothless rednecks around here, I better go online to check things out before I go crazy!"

 

What happens is, I think they expect the kind of men they met in New York City or Chicago or wherever they USED to live...in THIS area.

 

Sorry,hon, most of the good looking people in my area have married their prom queens at the age of 18 right after walking off the platform with their high school diplomas. LOL Most of them are a part of an elite crowd of "townies" as impatiently_patient puts the term...that have lineage passed down from generation to generation, usually marrying with their own social circles and not open to going outside of that.

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impatiently_patient
Yeah, I recall you talking about "townies", and I have to say, some of the local women...that I've already emailed and had event sent follow-up emails to, are still on the site (see their faces all the time).

 

I'm surprised some of them don't realize their dating options are quite limited...unless of course they open to dating a good hour away from their small town residence, they are pretty much stuck to a life of spinsterhood.

 

Some of them moved here, from some big, metro city from up north, to be closer to their parents and/or family (probably because they are getting older, or just prefer to be closer to family...can't blame them), but after having moved here, lived here a year, and go "Shyt, mostly old men and toothless rednecks around here, I better go online to check things out before I go crazy!"

 

What happens is, I think they expect the kind of men they met in New York City or Chicago or wherever they USED to live...in THIS area.

 

Sorry,hon, most of the good looking people in my area have married their prom queens at the age of 18 right after walking off the platform with their high school diplomas. LOL Most of them are a part of an elite crowd of "townies" as impatiently_patient puts the term...that have lineage passed down from generation to generation, usually marrying with their own social circles and not open to going outside of that.

 

Annoyingly, the attitude doesn't end in small towns. I live in a fairly large metro and there's just this contingent of people who lead a very small town, out-of-touch lifestyle despite of their surroundings. They're essentially urban townies, which I've just taken to calling "citybillies"... and the ~42 year old, single mom of two (or more) in her faded Harley-Davidson tee LOVE to click on my profile. 90% of my traffic, no exaggeration. What they think we could possibly have in common utterly escapes me. They rarely send a message, surely after reading my actual profile and deciding I'm a "pretentious hipster" or something similar.

 

It's like an age thing around here. It leaves me often going somewhat downwind for more educated, edgy, gentry types that I'd jive with.

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