PrettyEmily77 Posted October 2, 2015 Share Posted October 2, 2015 My BF has primary custody of his teenage boys. I love him and everything that comes with him, his kids included. His boys are good fun, independent and yeah a little hard work sometimes but as his GF I don't have much input in their lives aside from playing video games and making a ton of sandwiches a day. If you like the guy enough and it's truly mutual, the rest will follow . 1 Link to post Share on other sites
toolforgrowth Posted October 2, 2015 Share Posted October 2, 2015 That's not necessarily a particularly attractive prospect for a single woman without children who just wants to date a man and be a priority to him (as he is to her) Fair enough. But that also means that you would not be compatible with him. He cannot make you his only priority. He has obligations that extend beyond yourself. You can still be a priority to him. My point is that you would not be his ONLY priority. Don't get me wrong, a part of me understands your point of view. That's why I don't date women who have more than one kid. It's easier to find a babysitter and time away with only one. More than that can be a major hassle. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MoreAmore Posted October 2, 2015 Share Posted October 2, 2015 My boyfriend is a single dad. I only wish he were more involved. (Not his choice.). Link to post Share on other sites
toolforgrowth Posted October 2, 2015 Share Posted October 2, 2015 One more thing to consider. I myself am a highly successful guy. I make great money, own my house and car, am generating a great pension, am good looking and healthy, and highly intelligent. If the fact that I have a daughter means all of that is negated, fine. But that seems a little silly to me, when my current lifestyle means more doors are open for me than most people. I can book a weekend getaway at the drop of a hat. I don't know many men who can say the same, including those who are childless. I think it's wise to consider the whole package, not just one subset of it. You could easily be missing out on something great on account of false preconceived notions. Link to post Share on other sites
mrldii Posted October 2, 2015 Share Posted October 2, 2015 Well, IMHO, single dads like blanco and tool should hold fast to their values and find someone who - with or without kids - shares them. It's fine if a woman (with or without children) doesn't want to date you because since you have kids "you won't be giving [her] all your attention". That's the kind of mindset a *normal*, healthy, well-adjusted man should want to weed out, at the get-go. The single dad I married was devoted to his children. So much so, that when his son started acting up in school and in his [mom's] home, he came to live with us. I had absolutely NO problem with it; that was a possibility of what I signed up for when choosing to date a dad. While we did find plenty of adult, alone, *us* time, yes...most of our dates and most of time WAS spent doing things with/about the kids... ...that's what parenting IS...whether they're yours, his, or ours. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
DivorcedDad123 Posted October 2, 2015 Share Posted October 2, 2015 Dating a single parent isn't for everyone,especially if you don't like or have kids of your own. I get every other weekend and Wednesdays with the kids, but I'm still very involved. I'm at every sporting event and practice, school functions, and go eat lunch with them from time to time. Their mom lives 15 minutes from me,so it's pretty convenient. My gf goes to sporting events with me, has me and kids over to her house, comes over to my house, we all go places together. She and I have plenty of "us" time though,since I don't have the kids 50% of the time. And, her having older kids of her own helps. I myself didn't want to date anyone with young kids,because taking care of my own is my priority. I don't fault anyone for having reservations about dating a single parent. It brings a different dynamic to a relationship. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Peach Posted October 5, 2015 Share Posted October 5, 2015 I'm coming at this as a single mom. I have seen a lot of weekend dads. They often put their GFs as the priority over their kids and often show board their kids without caring about the kids. This is NOT what you want because if they do this to the kids then can later do this to the GF or kids in the second family they create with the GF/new wife. The other thing I would ask about is the custody and drama of the relationship. There are some that can agree/compromise on basics even if they aren't together. Others have to drag each other to court to resolve anything. Even I would hesitate to sign up for the latter. I have also been on the other side of this with single men trying to date me who run away. The thing I have an issue with are people who cancel and act flaky and use the kids as an excuse. That is why I hang out with only a few single parents and I don't do that myself nor do I want to have that in my life. But I have run into a lot of kid-less singles who act like this too. It's not something specific to single parents IMO. My current BF has commented many times how I have my stuff together better than most people he's met - women, men, with, and without children. It's just values. I don't like choosing people who can't manage their time or respect mine (especially when my kid and me time is already so limited). Link to post Share on other sites
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