Guyouthere Posted September 24, 2015 Share Posted September 24, 2015 Well, this was taken from another thread (and it is what I wrote on it), but certainly worth its own discussion…. so here goes….. the idea that "I don't need a man". Thats also against basic human nature as well as nature itself. It is flawed thinking, and I see a lot of it out there now and believe it a result of todays conditioning of women as a whole.,.. and part of the larger picture of destroying the family unit. I find that sad, but it is very pronounced out there now, and unfortunately so many women will fall for it, and it only leads to a lonely life in the end. They will and can have a lot of material things, but none of them will give them what they are made for, and that is the love of a man. Many women seek out their own "independence" at a cost, and don't realize it, because it is so alluring, they can't help but ignore the lie. Link to post Share on other sites
empresario Posted September 24, 2015 Share Posted September 24, 2015 What if they're gay? 10 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Guyouthere Posted September 24, 2015 Author Share Posted September 24, 2015 What if they're gay? To clarify… I am not gay… I am very straight. I am only concerned with straight relationships. The post was meant specifically for those heterosexual women who claim they don't need a man to be happy Link to post Share on other sites
Ami1uwant Posted September 24, 2015 Share Posted September 24, 2015 It's the same reason they don't settle and look for that unrealistic Mr 110% that just don't exist Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted September 24, 2015 Share Posted September 24, 2015 I love my husband but I don't need a man to be happy. I was 39 before I met him. I have a good career. I own my own business. I bought myself a house. I hired people to do things I couldn't or wouldn't do. I had a great social circle. I went on vacation. Yes, life is better & more fun with him in it. He's an added bonus not a necessity. 17 Link to post Share on other sites
empresario Posted September 24, 2015 Share Posted September 24, 2015 It's the same reason they don't settle and look for that unrealistic Mr 110% that just don't exist I assure you, I do exist. We aren't just a myth to scare small children. 8 Link to post Share on other sites
mrldii Posted September 24, 2015 Share Posted September 24, 2015 B-bb-but I don't need a man to be happy (or successful, or satisfied, or...). I want a man. Period. I know how to roll up a newspaper and kill a spider, can call AAA to change a flat, and have the phone number of a good handyman if my water heater ever blows up. If simply being wanted is not good enough for a man TO be with me and he must feel that he is needed lest the relationship will fall apart, I am not the woman for him. All of the men with whom I've been in LTRs understand - and appreciate - this difference and were happy to *just* be wanted. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
scooby-philly Posted September 24, 2015 Share Posted September 24, 2015 I think we focus too much on the word "happy". The two serious, LTRs I've been in - neither woman could believe that I wasn't happy all the time. I mean, I get angry, sad, joyful, etc. But I'm not dancing around all the time. When I'm happy, I'm happy. A woman doesn't need a man to be "happy". Nor does a man need a woman to be "happy". And if you're gay or lesbian, the same motto holds. Happiness is from within - a good career, and/or good family & friends, and/or good hobbies, interests, travels, stories, charity, etc - all can cause happiness. Having a partner is about fulfillment. About being in relationship. Even the most introverted of us need society to survive and need others for fulfillment. Yes, there are rare exceptions - people living in the wild, religious hermits, etc. But that's like .0001% of the population. I have no problem with a woman being successful, happy, etc. when I meet her. I've dated a woman with her own business. I've gone out with women who've made more than I do. Right now, I'm starting to get back into the dating scene. I'm all in, but I'm also wiser and smarter enough to know I have to live my life, be happy on my own, and be open to whatever happens. I've got a first date next week with a woman who's father just passed away. Am I a little concerned that she won't be "all there" - sure. But we need to see if we click first, then after 4-5 dates see if there's compatibility, then we'll go from there. If she isn't ready in 1-2 months for something real after all that, I'll be moving on. In the meantime - still using my OLD site and still doing my thing. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Guyouthere Posted September 24, 2015 Author Share Posted September 24, 2015 I love my husband but I don't need a man to be happy. I was 39 before I met him. I have a good career. I own my own business. I bought myself a house. I hired people to do things I couldn't or wouldn't do. I had a great social circle. I went on vacation. Yes, life is better & more fun with him in it. He's an added bonus not a necessity. A nice house, business, trips, etc.,,,,, None of that will and can substitute for the love of a man. They can't cuddle, hold you, love you, and the real list goes on. Lots of plenty of women in nursing homes who have money, and yet found themselves alone because they were too "independent". Link to post Share on other sites
Author Guyouthere Posted September 24, 2015 Author Share Posted September 24, 2015 God still made us male and female. Neither should be alone, and it goes against basic nature to feel so. It is about fulfillment. Happiness comes from being fulfilled. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted September 24, 2015 Share Posted September 24, 2015 I had a dog too & some dates. I'm not knocking the importance of companionship or it's benefits. However, I didn't need another person to be happy or fulfilled. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
menyou Posted September 24, 2015 Share Posted September 24, 2015 B-bb-but I don't need a man to be happy (or successful, or satisfied, or...). I want a man. Period. I know how to roll up a newspaper and kill a spider, can call AAA to change a flat, and have the phone number of a good handyman if my water heater ever blows up. If simply being wanted is not good enough for a man TO be with me and he must feel that he is needed lest the relationship will fall apart, I am not the woman for him. All of the men with whom I've been in LTRs understand - and appreciate - this difference and were happy to *just* be wanted. Definitely Want vs. need Link to post Share on other sites
PaperCrane Posted September 24, 2015 Share Posted September 24, 2015 B-bb-but I don't need a man to be happy (or successful, or satisfied, or...). I want a man. Period. I know how to roll up a newspaper and kill a spider, can call AAA to change a flat, and have the phone number of a good handyman if my water heater ever blows up. If simply being wanted is not good enough for a man TO be with me and he must feel that he is needed lest the relationship will fall apart, I am not the woman for him. All of the men with whom I've been in LTRs understand - and appreciate - this difference and were happy to *just* be wanted. So you don't need a man, until there's something you can't do yourself and then you call a man to fix it for ya? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted September 24, 2015 Share Posted September 24, 2015 God still made us male and female. Neither should be alone, and it goes against basic nature to feel so. It is about fulfillment. Happiness comes from being fulfilled. I hope each of my daughters find a great man. And I hope they don't settle for anything less in order to fulfill some "need". I'm happily married, but I hope I need a woman to be happy. A mate should supplement your happiness, not be responsible for it. 8 Link to post Share on other sites
mrldii Posted September 24, 2015 Share Posted September 24, 2015 So you don't need a man, until there's something you can't do yourself and then you call a man to fix it for ya? Nahhhh. When there's something I can't fix, I call a professional or someone who's capable. For instance, a couple of months back, a lost puppy I took in to re-home chewed through the electrical wires of one side of my reclining sofa. My friend, across the way, came over to fix it. She did it, all on her own, even using her own tools...even though her husband is a mechanic and owns uber-cool tools. She also fixed my light-up spooky Halloween tree last year, when another wayward puppy I took in chewed through those wires. Because I am a feminist, I don't care too much one way or another if the person utilizing their talents and expertise to my benefit has a womb or a penis; it doesn't much enter into the equation when I simply want to relax and enjoy my beer while watching Sunday (or Monday or Thursday) football. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted September 24, 2015 Share Posted September 24, 2015 I'm happily married, but I hope I need a woman to be happy. I meant to say "but I hope I don't need a woman to be happy". Damn it. Now I'm unhappy. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
PaperCrane Posted September 24, 2015 Share Posted September 24, 2015 Nahhhh. When there's something I can't fix, I call a professional or someone who's capable. For instance, a couple of months back, a lost puppy I took in to re-home chewed through the electrical wires of one side of my reclining sofa. My friend, across the way, came over to fix it. She did it, all on her own, even using her own tools...even though her husband is a mechanic and owns uber-cool tools. She also fixed my light-up spooky Halloween tree last year, when another wayward puppy I took in chewed through those wires. Because I am a feminist, I don't care too much one way or another if the person utilizing their talents and expertise to my benefit has a womb or a penis; it doesn't much enter into the equation when I simply want to relax and enjoy my beer while watching Sunday (or Monday or Thursday) football. I know. I had to poke at the ironic word choice in the statement I previously quoted though. However I think the real issue at hand is the growing number of wire addicted puppies on the loose. Link to post Share on other sites
mrldii Posted September 24, 2015 Share Posted September 24, 2015 ...However I think the real issue at hand is the growing number of wire addicted puppies on the loose. Tell me about it. On a more positive note, the last one I took in didn't have a wire obsession. He simply kept me protected from psychotic toilet paper and paper towel rolls... ...by removing them from their storage places and ripping them to shreds in my living room. Apparently, he was fiber-deficient and chose to self-medicate. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Guyouthere Posted September 24, 2015 Author Share Posted September 24, 2015 Men need a woman to be fulfilled. Women need a man to be fulfilled. Anything else, and it doesn't lead to a truly fulfilling life as designed by God. Happiness comes from being happy with yourself as well as being fulfilled. So in reality, it is all dependent on each other. Link to post Share on other sites
ThugLifing Posted September 24, 2015 Share Posted September 24, 2015 I don't think anyone should need a person to feel "happy". That sounds like codependency. A woman being fine living a life solo with a career, family, and friends is completely normal. It sounds like you're threatened and think women should be more like they were in the 50's. And the religious comment I won't even touch.. I wouldn't want a woman to need me but to want me. I love women who are independent and have a life before I meet them. They're usually more mentally stable and "together" in general than a woman who is trying to marry to fill a void within herself or thinks she needs a man. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Noideanow Posted September 24, 2015 Share Posted September 24, 2015 Men need a woman to be fulfilled. Women need a man to be fulfilled. Anything else, and it doesn't lead to a truly fulfilling life as designed by God. Happiness comes from being happy with yourself as well as being fulfilled. So in reality, it is all dependent on each other. i know you are talking about straight people here, but I think another big reason for this female independency/feminism or whatever we call it, is that there are many people living like straight people in spite of them actually being gay and having the personality-traits of the opposite sex:cool: hence the many independent, dominating women) Link to post Share on other sites
mrldii Posted September 24, 2015 Share Posted September 24, 2015 i know you are talking about straight people here, but I think another big reason for this female independency/feminism or whatever we call it, is that there are many people living like straight people in spite of them actually being gay and having the personality-traits of the opposite sex:cool: hence the many independent, dominating women) So, anyone who is a feminist (a person who believes in the social, political, and economy equality of the sexes) is gay and just doesn't know it, yet?!? *Interesting* conclusion to draw. Dismissive, too. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Noideanow Posted September 24, 2015 Share Posted September 24, 2015 So, anyone who is a feminist (a person who believes in the social, political, and economy equality of the sexes) is gay and just doesn't know it, yet?!? *Interesting* conclusion to draw. Dismissive, too. i think there is a correlation, i dont say all of them are just as not all man-dancers are gay but i think the majority are:cool: (aint hillary clinton a good example;)) Link to post Share on other sites
losangelena Posted September 24, 2015 Share Posted September 24, 2015 I don't think anyone should need a person to feel "happy". That sounds like codependency. A woman being fine living a life solo with a career, family, and friends is completely normal. It sounds like you're threatened and think women should be more like they were in the 50's. And the religious comment I won't even touch. He actually did say this, yesterday, about how much happier everyone was "back then." http://www.loveshack.org/forums/general/general-relationship-discussion/549393-why-so-many-rules :rolleyes: 1 Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted September 24, 2015 Share Posted September 24, 2015 (edited) Deleted my post- just realised that this is the wrong kind of thread for it. Apologies. Edited September 24, 2015 by GemmaUK Link to post Share on other sites
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