menyou Posted September 22, 2015 Share Posted September 22, 2015 Well, I sent her an email this morning out of the blue asking if she fancied meeting up later this evening. She replied straight back saying she can't but would love to tomorrow...ah....happy times! So, tomorrow it is!! If you're thinking anything about her decline of tonight's invite, which I know you are not, don't! Link to post Share on other sites
Author SSM3 Posted September 22, 2015 Author Share Posted September 22, 2015 So, tomorrow it is!! If you're thinking anything about her decline of tonight's invite, which I know you are not, don't! Absolutely not. It was a spur of the moment thing anyway. She could have just replied I can't tonight sorry....... Link to post Share on other sites
sportygirl89 Posted September 22, 2015 Share Posted September 22, 2015 The current girl I'm dating I texted immediately after our first date and said I'd love to go on another date with her. After our second date, I immediately texted her and said I'd love to go on another date with her. Right before our third date I told her I was very interested in her and that I found her very attractive. I didn't wait to find out what she "might" be thinking. I just threw it out there. After our third date, I made her breakfast. I also told her that going forward on any future dates, I would likely want to hold her hand when we were out. Moral of the story is I told her exactly what I was thinking when I was thinking it. We're both late 30's, early 40's so the no games thing works very well for us. I figured if at any point she came back with anything negative or that what I was doing was too much, at least I knew exactly where she was at. But she never had to question where I was at in the relationship. Why can't more guys be like you? Link to post Share on other sites
menyou Posted September 22, 2015 Share Posted September 22, 2015 Why can't more guys be like you? Yeah, clone yourself lol Link to post Share on other sites
RightThere Posted September 22, 2015 Share Posted September 22, 2015 Why can't more guys be like you? Honestly, this was my first date after getting out of a 10 year relationship/marriage. Being so removed from the dating scene, I was pretty green. As it turns out, I wasn't supposed to pay for our first date meal or even hold the door open for her. Just based on what other guys out there are doing. She's officially my girlfriend now, but has mentioned a couple of times she is worried that I didn't get a whole bunch of dating out of my system. But I think we both appreciate each other so I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything out there in OLD world. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author SSM3 Posted September 23, 2015 Author Share Posted September 23, 2015 Honestly, this was my first date after getting out of a 10 year relationship/marriage. Being so removed from the dating scene, I was pretty green. As it turns out, I wasn't supposed to pay for our first date meal or even hold the door open for her. Just based on what other guys out there are doing. She's officially my girlfriend now, but has mentioned a couple of times she is worried that I didn't get a whole bunch of dating out of my system. But I think we both appreciate each other so I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything out there in OLD world. This is now my second relationship following my break up and I was fairly rusty on the first one. It lasted just 3 months and I made mistakes, she was also much younger than I was. Looking back, I probably rushed things with this girl and that could be one of the reasons we just fizzled out. My new girl is also closer my age too and we are on the same page completely, my first relationship I was ahead by about 5 chapters lol. I will not be making the same mistakes with my new girl, no way. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted September 23, 2015 Share Posted September 23, 2015 All sounds like it's going well! I think the only one thing I would say and it would be for both of you is not to worry if one or the other lessens the texting over time. It's really important to be considerate of each other's time and things they have going on in their day. Texting all day every day can become totally over whelming! I had a particularly bad experience with a man in his early forties and texting was the beginning of the issues but it was a constant issue. I'm perfectly fine with a couple or up to around 10-15 texts a day as it is something I will compromise on but when it hits 20-80 or more every single day I can't sustain it for long periods of time. Texting is so very prevalent now that I actually think it deserves a real discussion in the early few months of dating. It's a whole new change from the days when you and I started out dating years ago. We never grew up with it. Far too much can be assumed by someone not responding for a few hours when actually that person who didn't respond was likely just doing something important to them - maybe going swimming, having a massage, talking to a friend about how excited they are to be going off on a trip to Dubai with you, pampering and preening so that they look good for you when they see you... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Siquijor Posted September 23, 2015 Share Posted September 23, 2015 Like someone once said; "Start playing games and you'll only end up playing games with yourself" Link to post Share on other sites
Author SSM3 Posted September 23, 2015 Author Share Posted September 23, 2015 All sounds like it's going well! I think the only one thing I would say and it would be for both of you is not to worry if one or the other lessens the texting over time. It's really important to be considerate of each other's time and things they have going on in their day. Texting all day every day can become totally over whelming! I had a particularly bad experience with a man in his early forties and texting was the beginning of the issues but it was a constant issue. I'm perfectly fine with a couple or up to around 10-15 texts a day as it is something I will compromise on but when it hits 20-80 or more every single day I can't sustain it for long periods of time. Texting is so very prevalent now that I actually think it deserves a real discussion in the early few months of dating. It's a whole new change from the days when you and I started out dating years ago. We never grew up with it. Far too much can be assumed by someone not responding for a few hours when actually that person who didn't respond was likely just doing something important to them - maybe going swimming, having a massage, talking to a friend about how excited they are to be going off on a trip to Dubai with you, pampering and preening so that they look good for you when they see you... That's a good point you raised actually, texting. We have been texting each other from the start of the day to the finish with the odd messages during the day during work hours. I can't keep doing this and she can't either, we are both busy people with work. I expect the amount of text messaging we do to drop quite soon as we slip into another phase of our relationship, I hope this phase will be 'comfort zone'. I don't expect the morning texts to stop but definitely the updating/catch up texts during the day. Dating now is quite abit different from what is was 10 years or so ago! Link to post Share on other sites
Author SSM3 Posted October 1, 2015 Author Share Posted October 1, 2015 A quick update: things are still going well and we are getting to no each other. It's good. The messaging hasn't really dried up and we are still conversing daily, from morning till bed time. Just chatting I'd like to have a chat with her in a couple of weeks to see where she wants this to go or sees this going. For piece of mind I guess, I'd like to know where things lie with her. We've been dating/seeing each other now for about five weeks. By the time I am planning to have a chat we'll be seeing each other for 7 weeks - is this too soon do you think? We are exclusive, I know that and she does have feelings for me (I know that bit too!) I just want to know if she thinks there is mileage in this. This woman is too good to lose and I don't want to mess things up. Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 I've just come out of an LTR and started dating again. The person I have met has also come out of an LTR (marriage for her). I haven't dated for 12 years now and quite rusty on certain things. I know how to charm and treat a woman but certain things are a little odd and take some time to adjust. To go from seeing someone each day to seeing someone 2-3's per week is abit weird, but it's part of the game. There are certain things which are exciting, but its stepping into the unknown isn't it! You just never know if it's going to workout do you. Certain sites say play games/tactics to keep the other person interested, but I really can't be bothered with that. The person either likes me or she doesn't. I think she does.....and I haven't played any games! To go from seeing someone each day to seeing someone 2-3's per week is abit weird, but it's part of the game. -- This is not about playing a game. It's about human nature and allowing things to develop slowly and not smothering the development of a relationship. And, managing emotions and expectations. The person either likes me or she doesn't. -- How a person feels about another one in the early stages of a dating scenario can change as they get to know each other. At the bottom of this thread you mention going away on a long trip together. This could possibly be a make or break situation. A brief look into what it would be like to live with one another. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SSM3 Posted October 1, 2015 Author Share Posted October 1, 2015 (edited) At the bottom of this thread you mention going away on a long trip together. This could possibly be a make or break situation. A brief look into what it would be like to live with one another. I know this, but I am confident that things will be ok because of our natures/personalities but you never know. I have no worries what-so-ever about this. We are both relaxed people, have similar interests and roughly the same age. Edited October 1, 2015 by SSM3 Typo Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts