Her sister contacted me...

[DrReplyInRhymes]

I gotta admit... I am seriously confused here, it seems to me everyone has a point...But NO NO NO....to hell with them all....why should I even bother myself to text her little sister BACK? what if this is contrived and my ex is the brain behind all this, to see if I am still available to her or not...to see whether she can still manipulate me or not!!! I am a ghost...NONE EXISTENT...I am not willing to hear from her nor her family no one...One month ago when I texted her and told her I was melting in pain, she did not even bother to answer...She even did not give me the right to be sad, and criticized me for being sad...now all of a sudden things are wrong, and they say Samuel is the saviour? haha funny...

@ DrReplyInRhymes: Coincidence or not, I am fully healed, or I am still healing, well to be honest I can never figure out, your type... I am not mr N.sync, I am not an angel with a forgiving heart, I can be a prick...I can hate, I can take revenge, because you did not do things I did for her, because you were not the one who spent all those emotions and time on her, because you were not the one who was shot dead.... have you ever borrowed money, to buy a birthday present for your gal? huh? have you? have you ever stayed up late until 4 o'clock in the morning to finish your gal's project for a month because, she has exams and she can't finish the project in time? have you ever traveled miles, to get her something she likes? and this is what they do! leave you...And I have to to pay off my debt with this month's salary for god's sake you are insane....I am born with this attitude, I am cursed with this curse to just curse...and sorry for that dude....by the way don't you wanna tell me you are her little brother?

 

Dear Samuel,

 

I hear a few lines in your response that may prove to be important to note,

Specifically, the way you use your words, and the frequency, to quote:

"Eminem - The way I am", almost verbatim you use a lot of his lines,

And during that time, he was angry and resentful, and HURT all the time.

 

"I am not Mr. Friendly, I am not Mr. N'sync, I can be a prick..."

"I was born with this curse to just curse..."

 

These may not be exact, but something along those lines,

I'm recalling this song from when I was younger, and angry all the time.

 

You claim to be healed, yet you wish misery upon someone you shared your life with,

And it seems that your reasoning is because of these things you did for the relationship,

Those are choices you made, she did not control what you did for her,

Now you're angry because her reaction was not your expectation you inferred.

 

You seem like a good person, look at all those things you did on a whim,

But unfortunately, she didn't feel the same, and left you for him,

You can do the same things for a woman who would appreciate it without an expectation behind it,

As those shouldn't come with the expectation of rewards, else resentment builds in your stomach pit.

 

No, I'm not this girls brother, I don't know who you are,

I don't have a sister, your paranoia has come a bit too far,

Your resentment will only hurt yourself, trust me, I've lived this too in my day,

In order to heal and not hurt (and masking it with anger), this is one way.

 

You are not the first man to do all kinds of things for his girl,

Nor will you be the last man to lose a love in this world,

Have I ever done things like that for someone I once cared for?

Yes, and I was angry too, but life moves on and it doesn't keep score.

 

In my opinion, from the way you respond to each post,

I think I sense great hurt, and the anger you display is simply to boast,

She left you for someone else, that sucks, it really does, and my heart goes to you,

But the anger inside? That isn't healthy, and deep down, I hope you know this to be true.

Edited September 11, 2015 by DrReplyInRhymes

[bluefeather]

DrReplyInRhymes, yes he is hurt. Anger is an expression of pain and fear. I don't think he is denying that at all. He is just coping and reasoning and going through all of his emotions while trying to keep his balance through NC. That is what it looks like to me, anyway. And it's totally normal.

[Samuel_22]

Dear Samuel,

 

I hear a few lines in your response that may prove to be important to note,

Specifically, the way you use your words, and the frequency, to quote:

"Eminem - The way I am", almost verbatim you use a lot of his lines,

And during that time, he was angry and resentful, and HURT all the time.

 

 

 

These may not be exact, but something along those lines,

I'm recalling this song from when I was younger, and angry all the time.

 

You claim to be healed, yet you wish misery upon someone you shared your life with,

And it seems that your reasoning is because of these things you did for the relationship,

Those are choices you made, she did not control what you did for her,

Now you're angry because her reaction was not your expectation you inferred.

 

You seem like a good person, look at all those things you did on a whim,

But unfortunately, she didn't feel the same, and left you for him,

You can do the same things for a woman who would appreciate it without an expectation behind it,

As those shouldn't come with the expectation of rewards, else resentment builds in your stomach pit.

 

No, I'm not this girls brother, I don't know who you are,

I don't have a sister, your paranoia has come a bit too far,

Your resentment will only hurt yourself, trust me, I've lived this too in my day,

In order to heal and not hurt (and masking it with anger), this is one way.

 

You are not the first man to do all kinds of things for his girl,

Nor will you be the last man to lose a love in this world,

Have I ever done things like that for someone I once cared for?

Yes, and I was angry too, but life moves on and it doesn't keep score.

 

In my opinion, from the way you respond to each post,

I think I sense great hurt, and the anger you display is simply to boast,

She left you for someone else, that sucks, it really does, and my heart goes to you,

But the anger inside? That isn't healthy, and deep down, I hope you know this to be true.

Well shouldn't I be hurt? shouldn't I be angry... This person that you say I shared my life with, played me all the way until the last minute...why do I hate her? not that she left me, not that she did not feel the same, ok you don't love somebody, you go out of their lives...huh? simple as that... but do you tell someone that you don't love, that you love her? do you seek approval every single minute from the person that you don't love, a week before break up? do you start talking about having babies and blah blah just two days before break up? do you? and do you blame the one whose heart is broken, that it should not be broken? and do you stand in front of them and say hey, we had such a good time, but my interest has dropped suddenly...haha so why did she even talk about having babies... what do you call this? have you watched Ex machina? I watched it today, there was a character, her name was Ava...well my ex was Ava....but my God was not the same God in the movie...sorry mate... Karma is real....this is useless, yeah I listen to Eminem...and yes I am angry...I can mask the pain this way, so I do it...I love hatred more than love now...let it be...thanks for your response by the way...

Edited September 11, 2015 by Samuel_22

[DrReplyInRhymes]

DrReplyInRhymes, yes he is hurt. Anger is an expression of pain and fear. I don't think he is denying that at all. He is just coping and reasoning and going through all of his emotions while trying to keep his balance through NC. That is what it looks like to me, anyway. And it's totally normal.

 

Absolutely!, masking your pain with anger is not healthy at all,

You don't need to visit a shrink for most to agree this isn't unfounded and off the wall,

Wishing her well, while also not forgiving the actions she took,

Isn't that a bit healthier than hoping your ex is miserable and shook?

 

The continuation of masking pain with anger is one road to self destruction,

Sooner or later you become comfortable with being angry, and that becomes your seduction,

Controlling your anger, your inner rage, your killer instinct, your manners, that's what separates man from beast,

Recognizing your hurt, instead of masking it, may prove to be better in the least.

 

Samuel, do you have a right to be pissed and mad?

Hell yes you do, I would be too, coupled with being sad,

But wishing misery upon someone you once loved and adored?

Don't do that. It's destructive, even if she was a whore.

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/coping/547297-shifting-your-mindset

 

Take a look at this thread, it may help to give you a distraction,

From the anger and rage that's induced when mentioning your ex and her action,

Although posters may discuss details in length, including me to boot,

The idea behind the thread is superb, so be sure to give kudos to Oregon Dude.

 

I only wish you well, mysterious friend,

Don't let anger ruin your life, once you do, there's no end.

Why do I know this? Because I also have an anger issue,

my life has only been complicated because I still can't deal with anger completely too.

[bluefeather]

do you start talking about having babies and blah blah just two days before break up?

 

Right there with you, man. Mine talked non-jokingly about having kids with me, and in front of her folks no less, making them happy as well as me. We were all there having a great talk about our future family. In hindsight, this memory of her now seems so twisted.

 

Someone asked me a few months ago, "what is it with you and crazy girls? you always seem to end up with these.."

 

A younger version of myself would gloat at that. but I don't think I like these types of females anymore.

 

Think I'm finally getting too old for this ****.

[Samuel_22]

Absolutely!, masking your pain with anger is not healthy at all,

You don't need to visit a shrink for most to agree this isn't unfounded and off the wall,

Wishing her well, while also not forgiving the actions she took,

Isn't that a bit healthier than hoping your ex is miserable and shook?

 

The continuation of masking pain with anger is one road to self destruction,

Sooner or later you become comfortable with being angry, and that becomes your seduction,

Controlling your anger, your inner rage, your killer instinct, your manners, that's what separates man from beast,

Recognizing your hurt, instead of masking it, may prove to be better in the least.

 

Samuel, do you have a right to be pissed and mad?

Hell yes you do, I would be too, coupled with being sad,

But wishing misery upon someone you once loved and adored?

Don't do that. It's destructive, even if she was a whore.

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/coping/547297-shifting-your-mindset

 

Take a look at this thread, it may help to give you a distraction,

From the anger and rage that's induced when mentioning your ex and her action,

Although posters may discuss details in length, including me to boot,

The idea behind the thread is superb, so be sure to give kudos to Oregon Dude.

 

I only wish you well, mysterious friend,

Don't let anger ruin your life, once you do, there's no end.

Why do I know this? Because I also have an anger issue,

my life has only been complicated because I still can't deal with anger completely too.

I know I know....believe me I am not always this angry, this is the 3rd time this month... people here know me, and the way I interact with people is no where near the way I am tonight... I think sometimes I have no choice but to be angry... well anger is anger...it is not good, it is not bad you can use it to build you or destroy you...I just wish I had not received this god damn text at all...at first it made me feel better, but now... never mind... I just hope she does not come back...I really wish she wouldn't think of that at all....it is just gonna make things more complicated...why don't they leave me alone? I wish I could change my phone no. thanks once more man...

[Samuel_22]

Right there with you, man. Mine talked non-jokingly about having kids with me, and in front of her folks no less, making them happy as well as me. We were all there having a great talk about our future family. In hindsight, this memory of her now seems so twisted.

 

Someone asked me a few months ago, "what is it with you and crazy girls? you always seem to end up with these.."

 

A younger version of myself would gloat at that. but I don't think I like these types of females anymore.

 

Think I'm finally getting too old for this ****.

Non-jokingly it was, man...non-jokingly it was....but why do they do that? ah God I am starting to feel bad again...guess I need to cry after 2 weeks perhaps...again...well this is so insane...all of it...it looks like a horrible nightmare, can anyone wake me up please...

[MINDSHIFT]

haha i bet it made your day Samuel. Karma a bitch, i would be jumping through the rooftop. I remeber your thread the other day about how angry you were getting (disappointed that it got deleted) I feel that anger today. But neways best bet is to not break NC. Help her through it loool she left you high and dry, you dont wanna be friend zoned. Just wait she will probably come back.

[Samuel_22]

haha i bet it made your day Samuel. Karma a bitch, i would be jumping through the rooftop. I remeber your thread the other day about how angry you were getting (disappointed that it got deleted) I feel that anger today. But neways best bet is to not break NC. Help her through it loool she left you high and dry, you dont wanna be friend zoned. Just wait she will probably come back.

Yesssss....I do remember that!!! holy...you know what they told me? they told me you have virtually threatened to kill someone maaaaan...I can't believe ,they deleted that post for that reason....yeah but dude, I don't know why I feel angry tonight...I mean at the beginning I had a good feeling about it...but now I feel really angry...and they are criticizing me for that...

Well what goes around, comes around...What's wrong with that? they keep saying I should forgive her...I shouldn't be happy tonight...well I think it takes time, for the time being, anger is my best friend... I can't help it, nor can I forgive her...

[DrReplyInRhymes]

Yesssss....I do remember that!!! holy...you know what they told me? they told me you have virtually threatened to kill someone maaaaan...I can't believe ,they deleted that post for that reason....yeah but dude, I don't know why I feel angry tonight...I mean at the beginning I had a good feeling about it...but now I feel really angry...and they are criticizing me for that...

Well what goes around, comes around...What's wrong with that? they keep saying I should forgive her...I shouldn't be happy tonight...well I think it takes time, for the time being, anger is my best friend... I can't help it, nor can I forgive her...

 

I truly think you misread your replies,

I don't think anyone told you to forgive her, but instead, be happy inside.

Not because of what happened, not because of 'getting what she deserves',

But because wishing for her failure is malicious, and immaturely absurd.

Good luck in either case, I've done what I can,

But your choices are yours, you are your own man.

[bluefeather]

Non-jokingly it was, man...non-jokingly it was....but why do they do that? ah God I am starting to feel bad again...guess I need to cry after 2 weeks perhaps...again...well this is so insane...all of it...it looks like a horrible nightmare, can anyone wake me up please...

 

Well, I don't know your story in full detail. but the answer to my "why?" is because this person has a serious mental condition that is not being taken care of. There were warning signs all over. From my past knowing her as a friend, from knowledge of a bad upbringing in more than one home, to relationships with past exes, to alcoholism and drug use. There were times when she told me straight out that she had mental issues. In detail. And still, I did not listen. I thought our love for each other would be strong enough to overcome any issues. I was wrong.

 

I would offer my hand if I could, to help you up. Realize that you are not alone. These kinds of people, they need help. But it is not a help that we can give them. For example, even if she finds an other, it is highly unlikely that it will magically erase and heal years of trauma, that began in childhood. It cannot. She can play pretend, she can even fool herself into thinking she has happily moved on, although it will only be the "feel good" chemicals being shot through her brain as she gets enjoyment with her new toy, her new shiny thing (this could be what happened when my ex got with me, and she thought I was the one for her - best person who ever came into her life). It will not last. And unless there is an extreme intervention, the cycle will repeat.

 

At first, I thought she was just a very cold person, very cruel, and mean. Then it became easier to get over. However, later on, I put the puzzle pieces together, and discovered what had been in front of me the whole time. There were issues there long before I met her. And nothing I could have done would have changed that.

 

This is why you can say, "I did this for her, and that for her, I sacrificed so much! how can she leave me with nothing?!" I said similar things. She did not care. But I see why. I strongly believe that she struggles with the ability to understand anyone else's perspective. How sad that she lacks that power. Young children can be cruel without even knowing. Try telling a very young child that something he or she did has hurt your feelings. They will not understand it if their brains have not developed that portion yet. That thing called empathy.

 

So now the process became more difficult, for when I could simply think of her as a "b*tch," now I saw the reality. And I felt sadder. I felt pity. I feel sorry thinking she might continue down a spiral of chaos. But I will pray for her.

 

Let her go. It was her mistake to leave you, perhaps. But still, it was her mistake to make. As a human being, she had the right to make that choice. Respect it. Bless it. And walk on. Continue your personal path of self discovery and fulfillment. For perhaps you too are at fault, in choosing to pursue even when deep down inside, you may have known it to not be the wisest thing to do. But now you have the right to make a new choice. A better choice.

 

This is what I tell myself.

Edited September 11, 2015 by bluefeather

[Samuel_22]

I truly think you misread your replies,

I don't think anyone told you to forgive her, but instead, be happy inside.

Not because of what happened, not because of 'getting what she deserves',

But because wishing for her failure is malicious, and immaturely absurd.

Good luck in either case, I've done what I can,

But your choices are yours, you are your own man.

Much obliged...I think one day I will be there, at least I hope I can get there...It has only been a month...I get your point, but don't blame me for what I am tonight, I am a product of circumstances, but I know one day I will be able to even forgive her...and I will be happy from inside again...it might take a month, two or more but, eventually we will all be there...Thanks for the time...and hey it is a nice way for responding, I like it...keep rhyming man!!! cheers!!!

[MINDSHIFT]

Yesssss....I do remember that!!! holy...you know what they told me? they told me you have virtually threatened to kill someone maaaaan...I can't believe ,they deleted that post for that reason....yeah but dude, I don't know why I feel angry tonight...I mean at the beginning I had a good feeling about it...but now I feel really angry...and they are criticizing me for that...

Well what goes around, comes around...What's wrong with that? they keep saying I should forgive her...I shouldn't be happy tonight...well I think it takes time, for the time being, anger is my best friend... I can't help it, nor can I forgive her...

 

**** em, if i heard that news about my ex i would be happy, heck i would throw a party. Even hearing your news Im happy somebody got what they deserve. just like your ex, mine strung me along and left me for her ex. Like i was **** on the road. What hurt like you is the lies she fed me "i want to marry you" "ive never felt like this with anyone" blah blah and just like that no contact just cold and evil.

 

I do agree with alot of things DrReplyInRhymes has written. I wish i could get to that point of genuinely wishing she does well in life. However im imagining hearing that news about my ex and i would be jumping for joy. For her to feel my pain, realize her mistake, being with someone who dont want to be with you. Revenge is sweet. dont get me wrong there has been days when i wished her well because carrying anger is sooo heavy. But there days like today or should i say this entire week where i felt sooo angry.

 

But yh back to you, you probably feel angry again because you got information about your ex's situation, but regardless your situation is still the same. Your ex has not actually contacted you. But remember her sister contacting you may be a ploy on ur exes behalf. Whatever you do dont contact her first.

[LoveIsMyReligion]

20 bucks says she told her sister to send that text.

[sandylee1]

If it were me I'd probably reply and say 'your sister cheated on me and left me for her EX BF, I've moved on with and do not wish to have any contact with her. Take care.

[mightycpa]

My first reaction was that you should respond and give the little sister some wise words, to help her gain some understanding.

 

Then I imagined, what if it had been my favorite ex's little brother at the time, contacting me with something like that? I liked the kid, but no good would come from it.

 

She's totally on her sister's side, unreasonably so. You have nothing to do with the situation, nor can you help, nor should you hurt.

 

Ignore it. I would hope that I would have, had it ever come up.