tiki Posted May 13, 2005 Share Posted May 13, 2005 Originally posted by Merin LOL My BF and I text and picture message like mad! lmao...don't tell K they have that! He'd be like, "send me a pic", "send me a pic with you at lunch" every three minutes. LOL...he emailed me again. I still haven't replied to the first one. I think he's so busy talkin, he fails to realize I'm asleep, bored, ignoring him, or just not listenin'!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Naive Posted May 13, 2005 Share Posted May 13, 2005 My man and I are made for each other because neither of us like to have the "talk", it's so boring and stupid. However, we do like to conversate about our day and current events, etc just not about real mushy stuff or about how our relationship is going down the drain because that will really make it go down the drain. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bubblygrl5 Posted May 13, 2005 Author Share Posted May 13, 2005 Originally posted by tiki lmao...don't tell K they have that! He'd be like, "send me a pic", "send me a pic with you at lunch" every three minutes. LOL...he emailed me again. I still haven't replied to the first one. I think he's so busy talkin, he fails to realize I'm asleep, bored, ignoring him, or just not listenin'!!!! Oh man...don't tell your hubby that you can record mini videos on your cell and send those to him too! B Link to post Share on other sites
Author bubblygrl5 Posted May 13, 2005 Author Share Posted May 13, 2005 Originally posted by ~Naive~ My man and I are made for each other because neither of us like to have the "talk", it's so boring and stupid. However, we do like to conversate about our day and current events, etc just not about real mushy stuff or about how our relationship is going down the drain because that will really make it go down the drain. With my guy, unless we have relationship issues, there isn't anything to talk about! If I'm telling him a story about something 2 of my girl friends did, he'll be like, oh...really, uh-huh.... And then he'll talk about ebay or something stupid! B Link to post Share on other sites
Merin Posted May 13, 2005 Share Posted May 13, 2005 Originally posted by tiki lmao...don't tell K they have that! He'd be like, "send me a pic", "send me a pic with you at lunch" every three minutes. LOL...he emailed me again. I still haven't replied to the first one. I think he's so busy talkin, he fails to realize I'm asleep, bored, ignoring him, or just not listenin'!!!! LMAO My BF and I had this whole discussion on Wed on Text message.. he was at work in a boring training and I was at work just had seated a patient back with the Doc... He took a pic of the instructor and sent it to me.. I text him back Wow, thats great now how about you send me a pic of your crotch? LMAO so sad uh? and we were both getting paid for this! picture messaging... K would be going nuts! Link to post Share on other sites
lostinmyself Posted May 13, 2005 Share Posted May 13, 2005 Originally posted by bubblygrl5 That takes care of the magazine, now what to pour over the palm pilot? The coffee of course! "Ooopps! Sorry, honey, I'm so clumsy today!" Originally posted by tiki Did somebody say text message?! My H and I transmitted 600 in one month alone. Wow! We only racked up 400 texts last month. I feel deprived! (not ) Link to post Share on other sites
Naive Posted May 13, 2005 Share Posted May 13, 2005 Originally posted by bubblygrl5 With my guy, unless we have relationship issues, there isn't anything to talk about! If I'm telling him a story about something 2 of my girl friends did, he'll be like, oh...really, uh-huh.... And then he'll talk about ebay or something stupid! B Oh I see, that is a way different story! How long have you guys been together? Link to post Share on other sites
Author bubblygrl5 Posted May 13, 2005 Author Share Posted May 13, 2005 Originally posted by ~Naive~ Oh I see, that is a way different story! How long have you guys been together? Been together almost 3 years now! If I really need to talk, of course he'll listen and help me out. But he IS NOT conversational. He doesn't like to chit chat. His idea of quality time is us laying in bed - he'll read a "home remodeling" book and ideally I'll be reading or on the phone or whatever. As long as we're in each other's presence, he's fine. I like to interact! Is that SO weird? B Link to post Share on other sites
Naive Posted May 13, 2005 Share Posted May 13, 2005 Originally posted by bubblygrl5 Been together almost 3 years now! If I really need to talk, of course he'll listen and help me out. But he IS NOT conversational. He doesn't like to chit chat. His idea of quality time is us laying in bed - he'll read a "home remodeling" book and ideally I'll be reading or on the phone or whatever. As long as we're in each other's presence, he's fine. I like to interact! Is that SO weird? B No it's not weird to us women but it is to men! Link to post Share on other sites
Author bubblygrl5 Posted May 13, 2005 Author Share Posted May 13, 2005 Originally posted by ~Naive~ No it's not weird to us women but it is to men! He always says, babe...you don't want a bf, you want a gf! B Link to post Share on other sites
Naive Posted May 13, 2005 Share Posted May 13, 2005 Originally posted by bubblygrl5 He always says, babe...you don't want a bf, you want a gf! B Then you should say, hon' you don't want a gf you want a bf!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author bubblygrl5 Posted May 13, 2005 Author Share Posted May 13, 2005 Originally posted by ~Naive~ Then you should say, hon' you don't want a gf you want a bf!!! LOL! LMAO! He probably just wouldnt answer...as usual! B Link to post Share on other sites
westernxer Posted May 13, 2005 Share Posted May 13, 2005 Originally posted by Merin Something My Dad said to me a few months ago... "Guys don't like to talk about relationships, they just want to have them" I asked my BF about this... he said "Your Dad is Da Man!" LOL Merin, your Dad is Da Man! Greater words have never been spoken. Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedInOC Posted May 13, 2005 Share Posted May 13, 2005 Originally posted by bubblygrl5 Been together almost 3 years now! If I really need to talk, of course he'll listen and help me out. But he IS NOT conversational. He doesn't like to chit chat. His idea of quality time is us laying in bed - he'll read a "home remodeling" book and ideally I'll be reading or on the phone or whatever. As long as we're in each other's presence, he's fine. I like to interact! Is that SO weird? B Your guy sounds like my Ex. She didn't want to chat, she just wanted to sit together silently. To her that might be enjoyable but to me it's almost an eerie silence. Link to post Share on other sites
bluetuesday Posted May 13, 2005 Share Posted May 13, 2005 the most emails i've had from him in one day is 38. march 18 it was, i just checked. texts are just the same. literally hundreds a month. he's a talker. we just chatted on the phone for 2 and a half hours and talked about nothing. i can't even remember what we talked about. oh yeah, the story of him buying a milkshake today was like 40 minutes. then an hour or so was just him trying out a new laugh. and teaching me portuguese swear words. and talking about how much more money we could spend on cheese if we stopped talking so much on the phone. i guess you had to be there. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bubblygrl5 Posted May 13, 2005 Author Share Posted May 13, 2005 Originally posted by ConfusedInOC Your guy sounds like my Ex. She didn't want to chat, she just wanted to sit together silently. To her that might be enjoyable but to me it's almost an eerie silence. Haha! Well, I don't know if I would call it eerie....but seriously, if I was looking for quiet time, I'd be at home by myself! Not that couples have to talk every second of the day - but I believe it's okay to talk with no other purpose but to say funny things and tell jokes and talk about random crap. We shouldnt talk just because there is a problem to sort out, or because there is a specific question. Sigh. Maybe we are just too different. Bubblygrl Link to post Share on other sites
Author bubblygrl5 Posted May 14, 2005 Author Share Posted May 14, 2005 Originally posted by bluetuesday he's a talker. we just chatted on the phone for 2 and a half hours and talked about nothing. i can't even remember what we talked about. Oh man...this is absolutely unheard of! Sometimes I go to my parents house for the weekend, and we talk a couple times a day for 5-10 minutes. At night we might have a longer 30 minute chat - but he'll want to go to work on the computer or something. He seriously believes that talking is just a waste of time. He thinks there are more productive things that can be done. Even if I do manage to engage him in conversation, he'll start doing something else simultaneously. Ugh...people with a purpose all the time SUCK! Sometimes he will call to tell me some random news - but the story will be 2 minutes long. Why are guys so damn functional??? Bubbly Link to post Share on other sites
purple21 Posted May 14, 2005 Share Posted May 14, 2005 blah - my ex was a non-talker many people discribe me as quiet myself but i love just sitting around, hanging out, and talking - with no purpose - just talking or being silly the ex always had to be doing something constructive - drove me crazy i realize this a lot more since i've hung out with other guys and had a great time just talking about crap or emailing/texting random things - it's fun I went out for dinner a few weeks ago with the ex and it was like pulling teeth to try to get him to talk and hang out - had to ask him a million ?s - i got so bored after awhile i thought to myself - why did i put up with this he is such a bore - he couldn't go out to a bar and just hang out with people - we had to be playing pool or darts or something - Nothing wrong with always wanting to be doing something or just sit in peace and quiet but there has to be a happy medium - (damn he was a bore - lol) Link to post Share on other sites
Author bubblygrl5 Posted May 14, 2005 Author Share Posted May 14, 2005 Originally posted by purple21 he couldn't go out to a bar and just hang out with people - we had to be playing pool or darts or something - Ugh - I can relate! We go to bars a lot with other people, but we rarely go by ourselves. Which is ok...I'd rather be at home sipping on some wine anyway if it's just me and him. BUT, when we do go for a drink - he will want to play pool or shuffle board. My EX on the other hand (he and I are still great friends - totally platonic), we will sit in the booth and just chat for 3 or 4 hours. Given, he sees me rarely, so of course we have stuff to say - but when I'm with my bf sometimes I feel like my company alone is not satisfying! He says that is absolutely untrue...that this is just his personality...nothing to do with me... Oh well, what are ya gonna do? Bubbly Link to post Share on other sites
Author bubblygrl5 Posted May 14, 2005 Author Share Posted May 14, 2005 So anyway - the reason this has become an issue, is because since my bf has become so busy with his job, I have started to hang out with all my other friends a lot more. Some girls, some guys...and I realized how bad his non-talking was. At least before I didn't realize it! Bubbly Link to post Share on other sites
R O B J Posted May 15, 2005 Share Posted May 15, 2005 OK Let me guess, this EX you've been talking about.... A) you ended the romantic / sexual part of your relationship with him B) you were together as a couple much less time than the 3 years you've currently racked up with Mr strong but silent. Is this accurate?? quotes from you Bubs: "We go to bars a lot with other people, but we rarely go by ourselves .... BUT, when we do go for a drink - he will want to play pool or shuffle board." >>showing off your boyfriend's attentiveness and loyalty to you friends is something you crave, but with his behavior it creates a return to that feeling of being single in a bar, which creates stringer feelings of attraction for him because you want those insecurity feeling addressed and he is obviously the best (most likely) man there to do so. I suspect you may have even tried flirting with other guys to draw his attention. Just think of how bland it would get if every time at the bar he did give you his full/undivided attention. Like a hanger on, it would be great at first, then nice, then boring, then annoying until you found yourself wishing he would just go play pool by himself so you could test your attractiveness with the other, more mysterious and challenging men in the bars. (see the cheating section on loveshack for examples of this type of thrill seeking) "My EX on the other hand (he and I are still great friends - totally platonic), we will sit in the booth and just chat for 3 or 4 hours .... but when I'm with my bf sometimes I feel like my company alone is not satisfying!" >>No doub lt you like the attention and dialogue with the EX, but it is that feeling of not knowing if you are satisfying enough which compels you to be with him. You knew you were enough to satisfy you EX didn'y you? Conversation IS great! and we all need it. But it does not make couple stay together, and can destroy it in certain cases. could be all wrong, but i doubt it. Link to post Share on other sites
R O B J. Posted May 16, 2005 Share Posted May 16, 2005 arrg! i never got to find out if my presumptuous assessment from the previous post was accurate or or a misfire. come back Bubs Link to post Share on other sites
Author bubblygrl5 Posted May 16, 2005 Author Share Posted May 16, 2005 ROBJ: Didn't want to leave you hanging! Okay, maybe I didn't say it correctly. I don't mean that I want him to go to a bar and hang off my arm the whole night. If we're both at a bar with friends, we'll each go mingle for bit with others and join up periodically through the night. That's no problem. Yes, I knew I was enough for Mr.Ex, but that relationship ended for other reasons. The thing that makes me even remain friends with Mr.Ex, is that he is such an amazing listener, and always has such good thoughts and insight. His "over-attentiveness" didn't do any harm, it's a great quality. Never made him boring. BUT - my problem is more that he (BF) constantly needs to be doing something! To him, going to a bar and sitting in a booth and talking (unless we had relationship issues we went there to address) would be a waste of time. In his eyes, we should go to the bar, get a drink, down it, and then go play pool. He doesn't like to just sit and feel like he isn't doing anything. I mean, he will read the news on his palm pilot as we wait for our food to arrive...never a wasted moment, I tell you... Does that make more sense? This isn't about testing desirability or anything like that. It's been 3 years...so we're not in the insecure phase for sure. Don't get me wrong - I'm not a huge time waster or anything! But sometimes I just want a quiet place, where we talk, exchange thoughts, ideas, etc. Usually the only time this happens is in the car on a long drive, and that's cause he's trapped! Bubbly Link to post Share on other sites
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