katiegrl Posted September 3, 2015 Share Posted September 3, 2015 How after she didnt reply:P Oh for god's sake... nevermind, if you still don't get it....you really have no business being in a relationship. Dude, she left you the FIRST time because you were cold and aloof. Now you want to start something up again.... and you are STILL acting cold and aloof. You said yourself it takes you forever to respond and in the latest instance you didn't respond for AN ENTIRE WEEK. What the hell do you expect her to think? She is NOT responding because she is losing interest DUE to YOUR cold and aloof nature. In her mind, you are full of crap. You haven't changed one bit. You are still as cold and aloof as you've ever been. AGAIN, THAT is why she did not reply to you. Get it now? Sheesh! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted September 3, 2015 Share Posted September 3, 2015 We Human beings need to be in touch with our feelings, and be able to express them in an honest way. Our feelings are essential when it comes to understanding ourselves and the people around us. If I were the OP, I would get some therapy to find out what the blockage is. Definitely. Take care. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author whiteshadows Posted September 3, 2015 Author Share Posted September 3, 2015 Ok well you are onto the first step: you are aware. Now you have to take steps to make changes that will help you with your dating. The post I "liked" of yours is a good start with this girl. I think when you don't give compliments etc easily, then the next best thing you can do is be honest when you are talking to her. I don't even think you need to just gauge her reaction and if it's good leave it alone. You can open up the conversation anyway and say sorry or something to that effect. This will make up some for the way you have been if she can see that you are aware and apologetic. Im also thinking of texting" but that doesnt mean im not exited to see you when you get back" 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted September 3, 2015 Share Posted September 3, 2015 thats why im here to improve that. i initiate texting, i told her im taking her out next date, until this everything went well. Im just not sure how to approach it. if t shes mad because i didnt text for a week there no way to open her up to talk if that hurt her. I think im gonna text her a question tomorrow. *If shes still cold ill try opening her up and make her talk to find out if i actually hurt her. *It's not her that needs to open up and talk. It's you that needs to do that. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted September 3, 2015 Share Posted September 3, 2015 Im also thinking of texting" but that doesnt mean im not exited to see you when you get back" That would be nice! A good start. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author whiteshadows Posted September 3, 2015 Author Share Posted September 3, 2015 *It's not her that needs to open up and talk. It's you that needs to do that. yes but now shes cold because i did that. Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted September 3, 2015 Share Posted September 3, 2015 Im also thinking of texting" but that doesnt mean im not exited to see you when you get back" Sure if that's how you honestly feel. You should think of this as a last ditch attempt. I think you are on thin ice. Time to really step it up whatever that looks like to communication between you and her, Really do your part. Stretch 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted September 3, 2015 Share Posted September 3, 2015 yes but now shes cold because i did that. No. Thats not it. She's turned cold because you are cold. 'Cold and aloof.' 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted September 3, 2015 Share Posted September 3, 2015 yes but now shes cold because i did that. no she is cold because you disappeared for a week and made no effort. First time you got to feel the chill is the most recent time she texted with you. You didn't expect her to reach out and tell you how much you sucked, did you? I mean she's on vacation. Possibly about to write you off and you two are not in a relationship. She wouldn't reach out necessarily to tell you what's bugging her. She will just say a cold comment or be distant and not initiate texts with you or maybe start not returning your texts at all. Be reasonable 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author whiteshadows Posted September 3, 2015 Author Share Posted September 3, 2015 Sure if that's how you honestly feel. You should think of this as a last ditch attempt. I think you are on thin ice. Time to really step it up whatever that looks like to communication between you and her, Really do your part. Stretch if not that what, what do you mean last ditch attempt. Link to post Share on other sites
ilovemefirst Posted September 3, 2015 Share Posted September 3, 2015 I dont think shes pissed, i think she just thinks she deserves better. You have been cold and aloof and you didnt text her for a week. She probably thinks you dont really care. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author whiteshadows Posted September 3, 2015 Author Share Posted September 3, 2015 truth is im scared that the be patient part was her letting me down as if im bothering her Link to post Share on other sites
Celeste.Carol Posted September 4, 2015 Share Posted September 4, 2015 I do not want to come across mean, but I would not give you one second of my day if you came across cold and aloof. It predicts future behavior and no one (maybe there is an odd one out there) wants a mate who behaves in this manner. Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted September 4, 2015 Share Posted September 4, 2015 if not that what, what do you mean last ditch attempt. I mean that it sounds like she might be almost done with you....sooooooo....if there ever was a time to show her the guy you could be, then NOW is the time. You might not get another chance. You don't have time to acclimate yourself and change yourself very slowly. This might be your last ditch attempt to be a not cold, not aloof guy who doesn't disappear. Link to post Share on other sites
Author whiteshadows Posted September 4, 2015 Author Share Posted September 4, 2015 I mean that it sounds like she might be almost done with you....sooooooo....if there ever was a time to show her the guy you could be, then NOW is the time. You might not get another chance. You don't have time to acclimate yourself and change yourself very slowly. This might be your last ditch attempt to be a not cold, not aloof guy who doesn't disappear. Yeah, i just dont get why she would say the be patient line. Maybe she wanted me to say that it sucks and that i cant wait to see her but she literally just sent that after à week of no communication. Im just wondering if she sent that to make me back off sort of Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted September 4, 2015 Share Posted September 4, 2015 Because you did not act like someone who wanted the connection to remain intact OR for her to hurry back when you disappeared on her for a week. Come on! Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted September 4, 2015 Share Posted September 4, 2015 Yeah, i just dont get why she would say the be patient line. Maybe she wanted me to say that it sucks and that i cant wait to see her but she literally just sent that after à week of no communication. Im just wondering if she sent that to make me back off sort of You're reading too much into that one comment. Ultimately, she's just mirroring you. You are too distant for a relationship with her. She already told you this. And you're proving her correct again. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author whiteshadows Posted September 4, 2015 Author Share Posted September 4, 2015 You're reading too much into that one comment. Ultimately, she's just mirroring you. You are too distant for a relationship with her. She already told you this. And you're proving her correct again. i dont think i am, shes using that to gauge my interest maybe Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted September 4, 2015 Share Posted September 4, 2015 i dont think i am, shes using that to gauge my interest maybe It can be both BTW. She is mirroring you with reduced interest, trying to light a fire with that comment to let you know she is staying away AND hoping it will inspire a good stepped up reaction in you. If she wasn't interested AT ALL anymore, she just would ignore your calls or tell you flat out. I know this seems really confusing to you but I can't imagine why. It is so obvious. Anyway, you can analyze it to death, but what you need to do in ANY scenario you are imagine in your head is step up! Did you text her yet today???? What are you so scared of? You think regret of losing her is gonna be MORE enjoyable???? Link to post Share on other sites
Author whiteshadows Posted September 4, 2015 Author Share Posted September 4, 2015 It can be both BTW. She is mirroring you with reduced interest, trying to light a fire with that comment to let you know she is staying away AND hoping it will inspire a good stepped up reaction in you. If she wasn't interested AT ALL anymore, she just would ignore your calls or tell you flat out. I know this seems really confusing to you but I can't imagine why. It is so obvious. Anyway, you can analyze it to death, but what you need to do in ANY scenario you are imagine in your head is step up! Did you text her yet today???? What are you so scared of? You think regret of losing her is gonna be MORE enjoyable???? Im worried she just answering to be nice Link to post Share on other sites
Vyliss Posted September 4, 2015 Share Posted September 4, 2015 Wow, you need to have more confidence in yourself. Everyone has already told you she's losing interest cos you're cold. Look, dating/relationships are about being vulnerable, if you're not able to put yourself out there to get potentially hurt, then hold back and stay single This is what everyone has to do. That means if you like this girl and want her, you need to do what you fear doing (show interest, be warm, open yourself up, make moves) even if she MAY reject you. This is how you get anything worth getting in this world. Careers, relationships, health, money, you need to take risks and do things that are uncomfortable and scary at times... but if you don't, the alternative is WAY worse. Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted September 5, 2015 Share Posted September 5, 2015 Im worried she just answering to be nice If you already split before due to your coldness, and she's on vacation traveling, she wouldn't waste her time answering especially since she is getting annoyed with you. This means she likes you IN SPITE of your shortcomings, ie you still have a chance. Step it up. Link to post Share on other sites
Author whiteshadows Posted September 5, 2015 Author Share Posted September 5, 2015 Lmao pretty sure shes pissed. She replied to my "stay the longest possible to really enjoy your trip" she said " yeah for sure im not coming back till i visit all Europe and egypt for sûre" Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted September 5, 2015 Share Posted September 5, 2015 Lmao pretty sure shes pissed. She replied to my "stay the longest possible to really enjoy your trip" she said " yeah for sure im not coming back till i visit all Europe and egypt for sûre" I'd consider it done, then. You missed the boat. Link to post Share on other sites
Author whiteshadows Posted September 5, 2015 Author Share Posted September 5, 2015 I'd consider it done, then. You missed the boat. Lol not at all i replied lol:p and she rrplied within 3 mins "or i come back before i have no more money." Link to post Share on other sites
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