clam Posted September 7, 2015 Posted September 7, 2015 You "expect to know answers"?? OP, she gave you her answer. She just didn't verbalize it. Instead, she drove away after one hour. That's her answer.
katiegrl Posted September 7, 2015 Posted September 7, 2015 Katie, I was not intellectuallizing or smothering her at all. *** But I expect to know answers, not just hurry up and wait. I guess what I mean is tell me, let me grieve, move on if so. I respect myself enough to not just sit here another week while she decides if she'll contact me; not constructive to me or her. Sound reasonable? What she did this weekend... I am not starting a spy routine, so I guess time will tell on that. Really it's so much easier to talk to me than play smoke and mirror, not really sure?!? Quote in asterisk --- that is your perspective ...not necessarily hers. She has her own thoughts, and her own feelings, she is not an extension of you, and as such, her experience of your relationship, is not going to be what yours is. I realize it is not your intention to "intellectualize" everything and emotionally suffocate her. But that does not mean you are not doing exactly that.... This just indicates major incompatibity... which is why you should just let her go and try to find another women who gets you better and vice versa! 1
Author Hyperfocal Posted September 7, 2015 Author Posted September 7, 2015 Thanks folks, I never told her I loved her, the email's a draft, not sent. I guess people communicate in these manners. I don't know, perhaps according to what I hear, I should let her text me next and see? I thought one would get a blessing (curse) of being liberated with speech. She has run off before, due to anxiety, in odd ways. This felt like that.
Redhead14 Posted September 7, 2015 Posted September 7, 2015 Thanks folks, I never told her I loved her, the email's a draft, not sent. I guess people communicate in these manners. I don't know, perhaps according to what I hear, I should let her text me next and see? I thought one would get a blessing (curse) of being liberated with speech. She has run off before, due to anxiety, in odd ways. This felt like that. Let her contact you if shes going to at all. The way that meeting went and the fact that you now say she's run off before, now causes me to draw the conclusion, rather than being an educated guess, that she is too emotionally damaged to even attempt to be with her long term. Casually date, sure, but without expectations of anything more. Even if you were able to foster a relationship with her and feeling comfortable in it for awhile, I could almost guarantee that there would be a very sudden pull away, completely out of the blue for you, and for a month or more even. She would then come back and then it would happen again. People like her will often be the ones who simply disappear one day without explanation or hearing another word from them ever again. Its a very painful experience. 1
cif Posted September 7, 2015 Posted September 7, 2015 So folks, I am gradually losing patience but not love... Ideas on this email draft? Thanks. Do not send it. It's time to let this go. What she did this weekend... I am not starting a spy routine, so I guess time will tell on that. Really it's so much easier to talk to me than play smoke and mirror, not really sure?!? Please don't. Just move on. Thanks folks, I never told her I loved her, the email's a draft, not sent. I guess people communicate in these manners. I don't know, perhaps according to what I hear, I should let her text me next and see? I thought one would get a blessing (curse) of being liberated with speech. She has run off before, due to anxiety, in odd ways. This felt like that. I don't know your background only that you were married for a while and divorced. It's obvious you don't have much dating experience. No, don't wait around, date around. 1
ExpatInItaly Posted September 7, 2015 Posted September 7, 2015 After a 5-day break in a such a young relationship, she met you for just one hour. This break also conveniently came over a long weekend - my spidey-sense is a'tingling that she spent it with someone else. Sorry OP, but I just don't think she's into it anymore. Don't bother waiting for her to text you. 2
Gary S Posted September 7, 2015 Posted September 7, 2015 I really hate to say this, but her having this many issues, and the way this is going at this stage, it does not look good. If things were going good, you two should be going into the honeymoon stage of the relationship by now, not having problems like this. It sounds like she has a lot of issues, and that might be why.....but whatever the reason, she's just not that into you. And it's likely to get worse rather than better. In fact, she could be weening herself off you right now, that's what it sounds like, figuring out how to dump you....and you are walking right into it. I'd be gone by this time, I'd disappear. He who rejects first feels better. The woman usually drops the man first, 2 out of three times. The guys just don't see it coming most of the time. When the love plane is going down, there is only one parachute. 2
crispycritter71 Posted September 7, 2015 Posted September 7, 2015 Wow, I was married to a woman just like that for 8 years.. Total control freak, emotional bully as well. We did go to marriage counselling for a while but she was not expecting the counsellor to take my side 100% of the time.. He actually asked her if she thought this was divorce councelling...lol.. I am an emotional basket case still after a year apart from her.. Dude, run away as fast as you can. Even if she gets on good meds and it helps, she will stop taking them from time to time and put you through hell. If a woman says something that stops you in your tracks and makes you think, what in the world just happened? You are in trouble.. 2
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