nyah Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 100% don't contact her! If she wants something, leave the ball in her court to initiate it. In the meantime, focus on yourself....get out there and meet someone new! Don't wait around for what could or couldn't be. It's not fair on you to be left in a limbo situation. Look after yourself first and foremost always. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Maggie4 Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 I got a message like that from a guy once. I hadn't answered his last mail for almost two weeks, but I didn't see it as an ignore. I kept "reply to Peter" on my to-do list all that time. Anyway, when I got that "final" msg from him, then I ignored it, and crossed out the item on my to-do list. You're probably right she lost interest, in the sense that she's ok never seeing you again. That is very common with internet dating. You come from random places, not connected by work, family, or friends. I'm sure you've also dated other women that are great, you just didn't fall for her. If you really think she has potential, then you should escalate, you've got nothing to lose anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
Zippy2000 Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 Aha! The slow fade. She hasnt got the decency to let you know she has changed her mind. However!! Before you decide it is the slow fade rather than "cooling down" in the relationship. Its best not to send a message like that. Its like giving her an easy way out. Id leave it. Id say if I havent heard from her by a fortnight or 3 weeks tops. Shes lost interest. Leaving it alone and as they are means that if she changes her mind, and sometimes this happens. It leaves her the opportunity for her to comeback to you WITHOUT and history or hard work. OLD is brutal this way. I hate the slow fade. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Strahatmak Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 It doesn't seem you two are close enough to call it an initimacy dating. The last time I ended a date, I sent a text because we'd been out for about 10 times, texted daily and met his friends, and I considered that was a more initimated dating. I ended it by sending a text because I couldn't accept myself being a coward like him and wanted to end it on my own term. I didn't expect a respond from him; he though replied with a simple "K". What's the intention by sending the last text? Would that helps you to move on? Are you expecting a respond from her? From your description, you two are not even that close, so fading out is the number one choice for most people in this stage - although I HATE fading out. Clear up your mind before you act. Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 Hey, Here's Quick summary of my situation: 27 m > new to online dating > met a girl i> talked online for a few months > met up a few times > She ignored my last text and was slowly taking longer to respond to texts before that. I realize this means shes too nice to say its over, she clearly doesnt want to stay friends either. I definitely still have a big crush on her and want to send her one last message, especially since i put so much dam time into her. I know some of you will say not to since she ignored my last message but my gut is telling me i have to. What should i say? I was thinking somewhere along the lines of: I know youve been busy with work and everything recently. It was fun getting to know you the past few months. Good luck with everything in the future i see good things for you. Does this make me seem like a huge dam puss? i want to basically acknowledge i know its off, come accross as the better person and also maybe impress her with my maturity (long shot haha). met up a few times -- This doesn't equate to "so much dam time" and the online communication doesn't count for much. If you want to impress her with your maturity, you should leave it alone. Pushing her for anything when there wasn't that much connection anyway, is a sign of immaturity in my book. You've already sent one last message and she didn't respond. Sending another one is clingy and needy. I realize this means shes too nice to say its over, she clearly doesnt want to stay friends either. -- If all this is clear to you, why would you put any more into it. She's made herself clear, so move on. Link to post Share on other sites
lavenderlove Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 (edited) I think it is the rudest thing when people don't even respect you enough to send one measly text message to let you know that it's over. I mean you spend time together, sleep with them, lots of nice things are said.... I think it is sad. It shows zero character to just fade and then disappear. It is inconsiderate disrespectful and above all weak. Weak because it takes an inci winci bit of courage to say to someone sorry, I am not that into you. people like that don't deserve your attention. Edited September 1, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator removed threadjack ~T Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 (edited) I think it is the rudest thing when people don't even respect you enough to send one measly text message to let you know that it's over. I mean you spend time together, sleep with them, lots of nice things are said.... I think it is sad. It shows zero character to just fade and then disappear. It is inconsiderate disrespectful and above all weak. Weak because it takes an inci winci bit of courage to say to someone sorry, I am not that into you. people like that don't deserve your attention. I think it is the rudest thing when people don't even respect you enough to send one measly text message to let you know that it's over. -- Its' a lose/lose. Texting that a person isn't interested anymore is looked upon as weak anyway. If you call them to say you're not interested, they are hurt, "oh wow, why? He/she seemed so interested". I don't care how the message gets conveyed, the recipient of that message usually starts mind-Fing themselves anyway. Personally, if it's very early in a dating scenario, I'll call them and say I'm not interested. If I've been seeing them for a little while, I'll talk to them in person. Edited September 1, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator changed quote for edited post. ~T Link to post Share on other sites
lavenderlove Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 (edited) I agree it is a mind**** either way Redhead and not a positive experience but I think letting the person know in some way that is relevant to how far things progressed is a basic thing to do. And I am glad that you do that too. Edited September 1, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
Author nickf100 Posted September 1, 2015 Author Share Posted September 1, 2015 Thanks for the input everyone, the overwhelming opinion is not to send her a message at all so as much as i want to i wont . I'm sure when i snap out of this ill be glad i didnt either. I'll update this thread if she does end up sending me a message back somewhere down the line. If its all nice and everything i can see myself getting sucked back in Link to post Share on other sites
angel.eyes Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 Please don't! Even if she does contact you, it's going nowhere. Let little Ms. Erratic and her emoji-laden enthusiastic texts go. Have any of those gotten you anywhere near your next date? Of course not. You will sooner nail jello to the wall than finagle another date out of her. She's not interested. Sorry, but that happens in early dating. Link to post Share on other sites
Diezel Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 I love the idea of "trying to regain your dignity" while you are burying it in a deeper hole. Makes no sense. Link to post Share on other sites
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