patentlyunique Posted August 31, 2015 Posted August 31, 2015 I have been dating this woman (I'll call her G) for the last 8 months and we have been pretty serious, talking about moving in together, getting married, etc. I am separated from my wife and still in the process dealing with how we are going to move forward with the divorce. G is 40 and has never been married and likes to frequent certain restaurants with bars 3-4 times a week where she will stay until midnight and socialize and drink. She was friends with the owners of the restaurants (I met them as well) and I was sure that she was not fooling around. About 2 months ago, she started frequenting a new bar where her ex-boyfriend became bartender/manager and she says he gives her free food and drinks. She said she has no feelings for him. She started going to this particular bar 3-4 nights a week and staying until midnight or so (the bar/restaurant closes as 1am). At first it didn't bother me, but after about 4 weeks, I started to become uncomfortable with her going there and told her about my feelings. She said that nothing was going on continued to go. About 3 weeks ago, she went to this bar after working out. Before going she texted me that she was home and changing and meeting a girlfriend at the bar (who is notoriously late and frequently cancels plans). About 40 minutes later she texted me that she was at the bar waiting for her friend and made it a point to tell me that she was still in her "stinky" work out clothes (She typically won't even go to the gym without showering, fixing hair, putting on makeup and fresh clothes). I didn't hear from her the rest of the night and didn't want to bother her if she was out with her friend. (Since we have been dating, she has always texted me goodnight). When I asked her y she didn't text me, she told me she thought I was asleep (she knew I was out). I told her that she knew I was out and that I wasn't sleeping. She also said her friend did not show up (every time her friend did something like this, I would get a text from her complaining). I never received a text from her complaining. I asked her several times why she was going to the bar and she said for the food and drinks. I confronted her and told her that I feel that something happened during her time visiting this bar...I have asked her...but she has denied everything. We got into a fight and I broke up with her. After a few days, we got back together and now she is very loving and nice to me. However, the other night, after being out and having a few drinks, she mentioned to me that another reason she was going to the bar was that her friend was talking negative about me and our relationship and that she was feeling bad about where our relationship was because the divorce was not over. So not only did she act out of character, but she lied to me. In my gut I feel that something happened, but I can't prove it and she will not admit it. So it has been about 3 weeks from the day that I thought my girlfriend cheated on me and she woke up with a sore (looks like a cold sore) on her labia. She is going to the doctor to have it checked out. Does anyone have an opinion as to whether this is suggestive of her cheating?
Diezel Posted August 31, 2015 Posted August 31, 2015 You need to break up with her and stay broken up with her. This sounds like a terrible relationship to be in. 1
Zippy2000 Posted August 31, 2015 Posted August 31, 2015 Goes to a new bar where he ex boyfriend became manager! You cant make this up. Its only eight months into this relationship. Take it sloe for now and see who she really is. Its still the honeymoon period and I ll bet you. Give it time and her true colours will come out.
Siquijor Posted August 31, 2015 Posted August 31, 2015 Didn't you post the same thread a few days ago? I'm sure I've replied to this. 1
Diezel Posted August 31, 2015 Posted August 31, 2015 You're right. Apparently the last attempt at "insight" wasn't enough. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/544724-would-love-have-some-insight 1
Author patentlyunique Posted August 31, 2015 Author Posted August 31, 2015 There is new information on the end of the text......she developed a sore on here labia 3 weeks after I suspected her of cheating... 1
ExpatInItaly Posted August 31, 2015 Posted August 31, 2015 There is new information on the end of the text......she developed a sore on here labia 3 weeks after I suspected her of cheating... That may or may not be proof of anything. It's not necessarily an STI, but the doctor will be able to determine what it is. That aside, what she's doing is inappropriate and I wouldn't buy that nothing is happening between her and her ex. Too many red flags. 1
Author patentlyunique Posted August 31, 2015 Author Posted August 31, 2015 She has since stopped going to the bar, but I can't seem to get over the fact that I think she lied and continues to lie. 1
road Posted August 31, 2015 Posted August 31, 2015 She has since stopped going to the bar, but I can't seem to get over the fact that I think she lied and continues to lie. She was lying and banging her ex. Dump her. Also you are still married. Time to date is when you are divorced. 1
Satu Posted August 31, 2015 Posted August 31, 2015 She has since stopped going to the bar, but I can't seem to get over the fact that I think she lied and continues to lie. You've got two choices: 1. Ignore your feelings and hope for the best. 2. Realise that being with someone who makes you feel like that is hell. Take care.
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