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Found Out girlfirend of 3 years was an escort during our relationship!

Writingonthewall

By Writingonthewall
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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Writingonthewall New Member

Writingonthewall

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I am crushed and lost and need your advice. Found out girlfriend of 3 years has been escorting, yep selling her fanny online. She has been doing this for at least 2 years of the relationship, i never knew all the times she had money it was from this line of work. I am shocked and disgusted but I still love her so much, so i decided to forgive her and take her back. She claims to have stopped. She is 23 years old. Too make matters worse she left me numerous times for another guy who she claims she fell in love with during escorting. I only recently found out the real reason she was leaving me all them times, was for him. She was cheating on me with this guy for about a year, going on holidays with him, meeting her family as well. Recently they broke up she came back to me begging me back, claiming she broke up with him because she loves me. We have started to make amends, but am i doing the right thing in taking her back? Is this relationship going to last? Could you forgive your girl for escorting and falling in love with another guy. Am i weak for taking her back.

MrBojangles Established Member

MrBojangles

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Too make matters worse she left me numerous times for another guy who she claims she fell in love with during escorting. I only recently found out the real reason she was leaving me all them times, was for him. She was cheating on me with this guy for about a year, going on holidays with him, meeting her family as well. Recently they broke up she came back to me begging me back, claiming she broke up with him because she loves me. We have started to make amends, but am i doing the right thing in taking her back? Is this relationship going to last? Could you forgive your girl for escorting and falling in love with another guy. Am i weak for taking her back.

 

Dude, do you seriously have to ask???

 

WTH is wrong with you for even considering taking her back?

 

There isn't enough love in the universe to ever fix what she has done to you!

 

If you enjoy having your heart broken, the risk of STDs' and 24/7 drama, then keep her and just forgive and forget.

 

But the fact you're asking the question, shows that you know this will never work.

 

Run for your life man!

  • Like 8
Poppyolive Established Member

Poppyolive

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I think you're doing the wrong thing taking her back. She lied & completely disrespected you your entire relationship. She sounds like she's an unhealthy match for any relationship. I think it's a matter of either ending it now or go through a few more years of more hurt and it end then.

 

If my boyfriend spent the majority of our relationship cheating for money, leaving me for unknown reasons later to find out another woman. ..I'd give it no thought. It would be over.

 

She doesn't love you.

She doesn't respect you.

She probably doesn't love or respect herself.

 

Fails all around

  • Like 2
Poutrew Established Member

Poutrew

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Posted (edited)

To answer the four questions you posed at the end of your post: No, No, No, & Yes. Your 'girlfriend' is a high class prostitute. She has sex with many different men a week. She fell in love with one of her johns and, make no mistake, would have left you for him if it had worked out. She is using you as a fall back. When the money she has saved from pimping herself runs out, and it will, she will go back to renting her vagina by the hour. You sir, are being dominated and used by a pro - literally as well as figuratively.

 

 

There is also a yuck factor to all this - are you sure the lady juice you suck out of her isn't actually the last deposit from her latest john? Think real hard before you have sex with this winner. If she tells you she's preggars, is it yours? Do you want to pay to raise an anonymous clients illegitimate child if you marry her? There are o so many reasons I could tell you to get away from this monster and count your blessings if you don't wind up with a STD for your trouble, but I'm afraid the LS computers would run out of memory if I did so. So, just get out, now. And get tested for STDs. Find a real woman and live a real life.

Edited by Poutrew
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Writingonthewall New Member

Writingonthewall

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Your three points must be true, saddest thing is I believe she continues to escort even though we are making amends.

Chi townD Established Member

Chi townD

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If the roles were reversed do you think she would take you back if you were the one pulling all of that crap?

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lollipopspot Established Member

lollipopspot

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am i doing the right thing in taking her back? Is this relationship going to last? Could you forgive your girl for escorting and falling in love with another guy. Am i weak for taking her back.

 

I think this girl has a lot of issues, to be prostituting herself. It's generally not what an emotionally healthy, well raised woman turns to.

 

I don't think you're "weak" for taking her back, but I think you're headed down a road of misery with her.

 

Do you feel a need to rescue her? Is that part of the attachment?

Gus Grimly Established Member

Gus Grimly

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I'd get tested for STDs ASAP if I were you. Then once that's done, make an appointment with a doctor to have your head examined.

 

Am i weak for taking her back.

Not weak, you've lost your F'ing mind. Huge difference.

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Writingonthewall New Member

Writingonthewall

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advice would be nice not insults, i dont need them right now.

mightycpa Established Member

mightycpa

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An "arm candy" escort, or was she working for an organized prostitution company?

 

The only thing left for you is to make a video where you watch, and she does it with her "dates" while she tells you she loves you.

 

Good grief man! Stick your head in a bucket of ice water and wake up!

dumbass2 Established Member

dumbass2

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You are wrong for taking her back. You still even think she is doing it, but you still want her. It seems by what you have told us about her that you may be very insecure because you should not want a woman who does things like this to you. She must be the hottest looking girl you've ever been with. YOU WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO TRUST HER AGAIN. You're young, move forward and you will meet someone 100x's better than this, if a relationship and love is what you are looking for. If it's just sex with a hot girl? then take it for what it is, but this is an escort, so std's are very possible. Let this one go.

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Marc878 Established Member

Marc878

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You are kidding about taking her back, right?

Gus Grimly Established Member

Gus Grimly

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advice would be nice not insults, i dont need them right now.

 

If you were in front of me right now I'd shake some sense into you. I'd shake you like a royal British nanny! I wasn't trying to insult you, I was trying to illustrate how ridiculous the situation is. No one in their right mind would take anyone like that back, I don't care how awesome and beautiful they were.

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Writingonthewall New Member

Writingonthewall

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I never ask for advice, which is why I know I’m so confused that why I’m writing in this forum.

 

I’m 33 by the way and she is 23 and she is hot. I think it’s time for me to wake up. It’s a relationship built on insecurity, but being alone is hard. We broke up for 3 months whilst she dated the guy she cheating on me with and left me for. I had no contact with her at all, her choice she changed her number. I may add she did not do her escorting work whilst she was with him. She don’t respect but I’m shock she does not fear losing me again.

 

She has a problem of being single, she also afraid of being alone she needs to be in a relationship all the time.

 

I think the advice im really looking for is if i were to accept her back how do you guy and girls think it will end.

Edited by Writingonthewall
MrBojangles Established Member

MrBojangles

Posted
Posted
I think the advice im really looking for is if i were to accept her back how do you guy and girls think it will end.

 

 

Because the second she meets a new sugar daddy you will be history. AGAIN!

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mightycpa Established Member

mightycpa

Posted
Posted
I think the advice im really looking for is if i were to accept her back how do you guy and girls think it will end.
The two scenarios I keep waffling back and forth on are, in no particular order:

 

1) She'll be stroking the hair on your 90 year-old head gently as you pass, crying as she thanks you for how great your life was together and how much love and happiness you brought each other over all the years you were together.

 

or

 

2) She'll leave you so she can bang some guy, maybe even the last guy she left you for.

 

Hmm.... which one of those is most likely? I just can't decide.

QueenDeath Member

QueenDeath

Posted
Posted
I am crushed and lost and need your advice. Found out girlfriend of 3 years has been escorting, yep selling her fanny online. She has been doing this for at least 2 years of the relationship, i never knew all the times she had money it was from this line of work. I am shocked and disgusted but I still love her so much, so i decided to forgive her and take her back. She claims to have stopped. She is 23 years old. Too make matters worse she left me numerous times for another guy who she claims she fell in love with during escorting. I only recently found out the real reason she was leaving me all them times, was for him. She was cheating on me with this guy for about a year, going on holidays with him, meeting her family as well. Recently they broke up she came back to me begging me back, claiming she broke up with him because she loves me. We have started to make amends, but am i doing the right thing in taking her back? Is this relationship going to last? Could you forgive your girl for escorting and falling in love with another guy. Am i weak for taking her back.

 

Dude, you're not a welcome home mat. You can't keep allowing this to happening. This is just going to cause some trust issues down the line and believe me, you wouldn't want that. She cheated you, you had to find out the truth, please, have self respect for yourself and value yourself, please. I'm begging you. Leave this relationship and close the door on her. I'm not shaming her for being an escort, she should have told you head on instead of you finding out like this, not everyone is okay with those type of things and that's fine and understandable, however, again, you're not a welcome home mat to have someone walk all over you like that.

 

It's going to be hard as hell but do not keep doing this to yourself. Cheating creates more problems.

 

Sending you good vibes. <3 :)

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StrangerThanFiction Established Member

StrangerThanFiction

Posted
Posted
I never ask for advice, which is why I know I’m so confused that why I’m writing in this forum.

 

I’m 33 by the way and she is 23 and she is hot. I think it’s time for me to wake up. It’s a relationship built on insecurity, but being alone is hard. We broke up for 3 months whilst she dated the guy she cheating on me with and left me for. I had no contact with her at all, her choice she changed her number. I may add she did not do her escorting work whilst she was with him. She don’t respect but I’m shock she does not fear losing me again.

 

She has a problem of being single, she also afraid of being alone she needs to be in a relationship all the time.

 

I think the advice im really looking for is if i were to accept her back how do you guy and girls think it will end.

 

It will end either exactly the same way it did when she left you for someone else the first time or it will end with you potentially dying of an incurable STD. I can guarantee it won't end with you marrying her and being happy. What you had with her wasn't a relationship. Run.

bubbaganoosh Established Member

bubbaganoosh

Posted
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advice would be nice not insults, i dont need them right now.

 

Yeah you do because you can't see the forest from the trees. She's a hooker. She may be 23 now but sooner or later she loses her looks then what? Start looking at her without seeing how good looking she is and see that she hasn't been honest, she cheated on you and she's lying to you about quitting being a escort. In other words friend wise the hell up!

dumbass2 Established Member

dumbass2

Posted
Posted

I'll keep it simple and be sure not to insult you.

 

It will end poorly and you will waste valuable time with her that you could be using to try and find someone who is attractive and wants to be in a relationship with you. That person will more than likely not be 23. This girl does not sound like relationship type material and that is being nice. If you want to waste another 6 months+ with this girl if you're lucky, then that is you choice because it is not going to go long term with her. If you are serious about wanting a good relationship, this is not it.

 

It doesn't have to end poorly with you getting hurt again, just don't take her back. Don't give her ultimatums because she may agree to them to appease you until you are fully sucked in again. i know you don't want advice, but walk away from this.

  • Like 1
Fleur de cactus Established Member

Fleur de cactus

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[quote name=

She has a problem of being single, she also afraid of being alone she needs to be in a relationship all the time.

 

 

Reason why I don't think she came back to you because she changed and wants to be with you. NO no and no. It is not healthy for an adult person who cannot stay alone for short time while putting herself together and reviewing what she likes and wants in her life. This is a very serious issue and you should wonder why she came back? Did she come because she love you or because she did not have any other choice. Believe me, one day she will be gone when she will find someone else she can be with.

  • Like 3
thejabberwocky Established Member

thejabberwocky

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Yes, you are weak for taking her back. I am so sorry that this happened and it really sucks, but she clearly has no respect for either you or herself.

 

Break it off, get a therapist, and an STD check.

 

Remember that no matter how hard it is, you WILL eventually heal from a breakup. But being with someone like that for the rest of your life will hurt each and every time they betray you. And I promise you, she will.

Methodical Established Member

Methodical

Posted
Posted (edited)
I am crushed and lost and need your advice. Found out girlfriend of 3 years has been escorting, yep selling her fanny online. She has been doing this for at least 2 years of the relationship, i never knew all the times she had money it was from this line of work. I am shocked and disgusted but I still love her so much, so i decided to forgive her and take her back. She claims to have stopped. She is 23 years old. Too make matters worse she left me numerous times for another guy who she claims she fell in love with during escorting. I only recently found out the real reason she was leaving me all them times, was for him. She was cheating on me with this guy for about a year, going on holidays with him, meeting her family as well. Recently they broke up she came back to me begging me back, claiming she broke up with him because she loves me. We have started to make amends, but am i doing the right thing in taking her back? Is this relationship going to last? Could you forgive your girl for escorting and falling in love with another guy. Am i weak for taking her back.

 

In reference to the first statement in bold. Deep down you don't believe she has stopped, which means there is NO trust. I can't blame you for that, I wouldn't trust her either.

 

In reference to the next two statements in bold - She was cheating on you, spending holidays with him, meeting the family, etc. I believe she intended to stay with him but he kicked her to the curb. Then, she came running back, "claiming" she broke it off bc she wants to be with you. Again, you don't really believe what she has told you.

 

It's your prerogative to take her back, but I'm not sure how you could ever trust someone who provided escort services and put you at risk for STD's. Condoms, if they were used, do not protect against things like genital warts. AND, I strongly believe you are her fall back guy.

 

She may be super attractive on the outside, but on the inside, not so much. Otherwise, she'd have been upfront with you concerning her activities, or refrained from providing escort services.

Edited by Methodical
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Writingonthewall New Member

Writingonthewall

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Dude, you're not a welcome home mat. You can't keep allowing this to happening. This is just going to cause some trust issues down the line and believe me, you wouldn't want that. She cheated you, you had to find out the truth, please, have self respect for yourself and value yourself, please. I'm begging you. Leave this relationship and close the door on her. I'm not shaming her for being an escort, she should have told you head on instead of you finding out like this, not everyone is okay with those type of things and that's fine and understandable, however, again, you're not a welcome home mat to have someone walk all over you like that.

 

It's going to be hard as hell but do not keep doing this to yourself. Cheating creates more problems.

 

Sending you good vibes. <3 :)

 

 

Your right and the way how i found out was awful, I actually found out from the guy she left me for and she later on admitted it. I don't know whats wrong with me and why I cant wake up from this sordid nightmare. Its an agnoising decision I know you guys thinks its straightforward "just dump her". But we all know breaks are hard and I tried it for 3 months and found another girl but like an idiot I broke up with her when she came begging me back.

 

But she had no problem dumping me all them times so i guess i can look at it like karma for her.

SoleMate Established Member

SoleMate

Posted
Posted

Very sorry you're going through this. You have all the information you need. Making the decision and carrying it out is up to you.

 

Most breakups are hard. If you go strict NC (no contact) and stay busy with friends, working out, getting outdoors, the pain will lessen with time. I'm sure there's another woman out there. Maybe don't just choose on parameters like "23 years old" and "hot" next time.....look for character and integrity as well.

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