todreaminblue Posted August 28, 2015 Share Posted August 28, 2015 when i am really interested in someone gaeta...i dont need to ask anyone else.....i see their flaws....and they dont bother me.....i think of them often and the feeling i have inside is one of nervous anticipation..a sense fo pleasure when i think about who i am thinking about......that's when i know they mean something to me ...whether its a lesson to be learned from them or a permanent place by me.....takes time to find out....if i were to want to write a list, it would be in poem form and be about what i see that shines.....not their flaws.......deb 2 Link to post Share on other sites
neowulf Posted August 28, 2015 Share Posted August 28, 2015 Ok here it is at the risk of sounding like a flake. They're things that were obvious like he's tall and wide but he has a big stomach, I'm ok with a little gut but it's bigger than what I can over look. The other thing he has a 6 yo son he's never seen. I asked where he was and he said 50km across the city. I asked if his mom was preventing him from seeing his son? and he said 'no, nothing like that, but I will meet him for the first time next week'. That just gave me a bad impression - but I don't know the whole story. Eh, if you were attracted enough, you wouldn't have cared about the niggling things. It just sounds like it's been a while for you, so on some level, you're thinking "Eh, why not". It's a great way to end up in a dead end relationship. Hold out for something that you simply can't walk away from. Or rather, if another guy who was fit, tall and had no kids approached you tomorrow, would you be giving him the same "eh, I don't know" vibe? Link to post Share on other sites
Leigh 87 Posted August 28, 2015 Share Posted August 28, 2015 Does it matter, really? Who says there needs to be "interest" right away? He's someone to spend time with and get to know. Maybe after seeing him a few times, you'd grow to be interested. I'm not sure how different this is to being interested in someone, seeing them a few times, and deciding you're un-interested. No one would accuse you of "leading someone on" in that scenario, would they? Why did you immediately make a list of things you didn't like? Because it's not rare to find someone you share a mutual spark with from the outset. There is no need to " give someone a go " if you're not feeling any kind of spark of excitement surrounding seeing them. I met my current guy while he was servicing my apartments. We just walked past and said hello and sparks were flying. I then dropped talking to two nice decent catches because I had met them a few times and just hasn't grown into feeling that spark yet. People who bother with those who they are lukewarm about at the beginning often come on here and complain that they have the met a co worker who they DID feel the magic with, that they never had with their current partner......... I honestly don't see the point in giving people a go if you're so indifferent about whether or not you even sparked with them. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gaeta Posted August 28, 2015 Author Share Posted August 28, 2015 Leigh, I used to think like that too but I got to revise my thoughts on that lately. I have 2-3 stories of men I did not care for at all on a first date, on second date I was completely confused about if I were attracted or not and after 3rd date I was totally into them. Don't get me wrong I did feel attraction at first sight a few times too and it's great but I am not closed off to 'grow into' someone. I am talking short term here, If by 3rd date I don't see his face in my soup I discontinue. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted August 28, 2015 Share Posted August 28, 2015 How do you know if you have real interest in someone or you're just bored? Brain triggers. With most people, out of sight, out of mind. With real interest, they're in my thoughts when out of sight, regardless of the passage of time. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gaeta Posted September 28, 2015 Author Share Posted September 28, 2015 So I went to the park occasionally and never saw him till tonight. I was walking toward the park when he was about to get in his car to leave. He saw me from afar and waited for me to reach him with a big smile. When I got to him he said: I am really happy to see you :-) I replied I was happy to see him too. I right away apologized for not getting back to him BUT I was really happy to run into him. He accompanied me around the park for my walk. When we got back to the exit he repeated he was very interested into me still and he'll be at the park tomorrow night. He said something that meant he understood he may have come on too strongly this summer so he's letting me set the pace. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
menyou Posted September 28, 2015 Share Posted September 28, 2015 So I went to the park occasionally and never saw him till tonight. I was walking toward the park when he was about to get in his car to leave. He saw me from afar and waited for me to reach him with a big smile. When I got to him he said: I am really happy to see you :-) I replied I was happy to see him too. I right away apologized for not getting back to him BUT I was really happy to run into him. He accompanied me around the park for my walk. When we got back to the exit he repeated he was very interested into me still and he'll be at the park tomorrow night. He said something that meant he understood he may have come on too strongly this summer so he's letting me set the pace. This is a wonderful turn of events. Link to post Share on other sites
EricaH329 Posted September 28, 2015 Share Posted September 28, 2015 So I went to the park occasionally and never saw him till tonight. I was walking toward the park when he was about to get in his car to leave. He saw me from afar and waited for me to reach him with a big smile. When I got to him he said: I am really happy to see you :-) I replied I was happy to see him too. I right away apologized for not getting back to him BUT I was really happy to run into him. He accompanied me around the park for my walk. When we got back to the exit he repeated he was very interested into me still and he'll be at the park tomorrow night. He said something that meant he understood he may have come on too strongly this summer so he's letting me set the pace. :bunny: I don't know about you, but reading this made me giddy! I feel like this is the beginning of a romantic movie! But seriously, good for you! And if nothing ends up coming from this, then at least you had a good time! Keep us updated! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gaeta Posted September 28, 2015 Author Share Posted September 28, 2015 :bunny: I don't know about you, but reading this made me giddy! I feel like this is the beginning of a romantic movie! But seriously, good for you! And if nothing ends up coming from this, then at least you had a good time! Keep us updated! Thank you Erica. I am a huge online dater. I have been online for 3 years looking for a good man and I only have a collection of stupid, silly, or scary stories to show to show for it. It would be ironic that I finally meet 'the one' right in my backyard. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
EricaH329 Posted September 28, 2015 Share Posted September 28, 2015 Thank you Erica. I am a huge online dater. I have been online for 3 years looking for a good man and I only have a collection of stupid, silly, or scary stories to show to show for it. It would be ironic that I finally meet 'the one' right in my backyard. I feel like that's how it usually goes. Wherever you look for love, isn't usually where you find it. If you need me, i'll be looking up the closest park Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted September 28, 2015 Share Posted September 28, 2015 (edited) So I went to the park occasionally and never saw him till tonight. I was walking toward the park when he was about to get in his car to leave. He saw me from afar and waited for me to reach him with a big smile. When I got to him he said: I am really happy to see you :-) I replied I was happy to see him too. I right away apologized for not getting back to him BUT I was really happy to run into him. ---- ****He accompanied me around the park for my walk. When we got back to the exit he repeated he was very interested into me still ------and he'll be at the park tomorrow night. ----- He said something that meant he understood he may have come on too strongly this summer so he's letting me set the pace. So Gaeta..... will YOU be at the park tomorrow night? :love: Edited September 28, 2015 by katiegrl 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Guyouthere Posted September 28, 2015 Share Posted September 28, 2015 I was at our local park today and saw some fish jumping by the dock. I thought to myself I should bring a fishing pole the next time. I also need to find a woman so that I can have some shark bait. I also have an oceanfront house in Arizona, free cactus juice to all who visit. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
joseb Posted September 28, 2015 Share Posted September 28, 2015 So I went to the park occasionally and never saw him till tonight. I was walking toward the park when he was about to get in his car to leave. He saw me from afar and waited for me to reach him with a big smile. When I got to him he said: I am really happy to see you :-) I replied I was happy to see him too. I right away apologized for not getting back to him BUT I was really happy to run into him. He accompanied me around the park for my walk. When we got back to the exit he repeated he was very interested into me still and he'll be at the park tomorrow night. He said something that meant he understood he may have come on too strongly this summer so he's letting me set the pace. So how did you go from only being able to list things you don't like about him to wanting to see him?? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gaeta Posted September 28, 2015 Author Share Posted September 28, 2015 So Gaeta..... will YOU be at the park tomorrow night? :love: Yes I will be lol I got to see past that stomach of his. God I have become so superficial with online dating and having those young roosters chasing me!! Link to post Share on other sites
Guyouthere Posted September 28, 2015 Share Posted September 28, 2015 Yes I will be lol I got to see past that stomach of his. God I have become so superficial with online dating and having those young roosters chasing me!! How old are you? His stomach is a new mountain range? hehe Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gaeta Posted September 28, 2015 Author Share Posted September 28, 2015 How old are you? His stomach is a new mountain range? hehe I'm 49, I know I know I know, men my age will have a gut. Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted September 28, 2015 Share Posted September 28, 2015 Mid-July I met someone in my local park. Not from online, I was at the park with my dog and he approached me. We spoke for about an hour and we exchanged phone numbers. The following day was a Friday. He gave me a call in the morning to invite me out to dinner that same night but I could not really. Very early the next morning I was leaving on a trip and I was nowhere near being ready. I told him I would contact him when I return the following week. During that week I made a list of things in my mind I didn't like about him and decided I was not going to pursue so I've never called him back. Often I tell my daughter I should call him and spend some time with him and maybe I'll be able to see past these things that bothered me. She tells me I am not really interested in him I am just bored and if I contact him I'd be toying with his feelings. I don't know, seems to be a big accusation *toying with his feelings*? So even though I decided to not contact him, pretty much each evening, I look at the clock and wonder if he's at the park....but I don't know if I have an interest or because I'm bored. *sigh* So am I bored? Would I be toying with him if I show up there after....4 weeks since I said I would contact him again? Genuine interest doesn't require this much thought in my experience. Your daughter may be on to something. And trust me many of us have been there. You listed all the reasons you didn't like him, but want to proceed out of curiosity (which usually is a bundle of things together: wanting attention, ego strokes, it's nice to be liked, being bored, wanting someone to text, call or go out with, even if we ultimately aren't thrilled about them). I've done it myself and it's ultimately unfulfilling and usually ends up being a waste of both people's times as usually what we did not like doesn't change. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gaeta Posted September 28, 2015 Author Share Posted September 28, 2015 So how did you go from only being able to list things you don't like about him to wanting to see him?? 11 years of singlehood 150 + unsuccessful online meetings Link to post Share on other sites
Guyouthere Posted September 28, 2015 Share Posted September 28, 2015 11 years of singlehood 150 + unsuccessful online meetings 150? Thats a lot. I'm hesitant to do any more online dating at all, after the things I have experienced. Just curious,,, why do you prefer online dating??? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gaeta Posted September 28, 2015 Author Share Posted September 28, 2015 150? Thats a lot. I'm hesitant to do any more online dating at all, after the things I have experienced. Just curious,,, why do you prefer online dating??? I don't prefer online, I just don't have the life style to meet otherwise. I live in the suburbs and work downtown. I have long commute morning and night. I don't go to clubs and bars. What's left? I did the whole getting into groups and I would always end up there with a bunch of single women. At my age we don't have a network of people like at 28. I have 72 friends on FB and I am all blood related to them compared to my daughter 28 who has 500 some friends and counting. Link to post Share on other sites
Guyouthere Posted September 28, 2015 Share Posted September 28, 2015 I'm 49, I know I know I know, men my age will have a gut. No, I am older and do not have a gut at all. In fact, I did put on some weight but I was never fat. I am currently toning down very well. I recently joined a gym, work out, and ride my bike about 6-8 miles per day/night. I was out this afternoon. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
joseb Posted September 28, 2015 Share Posted September 28, 2015 No, I am older and do not have a gut at all. In fact, I did put on some weight but I was never fat. I am currently toning down very well. I recently joined a gym, work out, and ride my bike about 6-8 miles per day/night. I was out this afternoon. Yeah I was about to reply too. I'm 45, no gut. I'm actually running half marathons now faster than I did 20 years ago. Eat well, exercise and there is no need for a gut. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted September 28, 2015 Share Posted September 28, 2015 So Gaeta my friend.... you off to the park soon? :bunny: 1 Link to post Share on other sites
EricaH329 Posted September 28, 2015 Share Posted September 28, 2015 So Gaeta my friend.... you off to the park soon? :bunny: Yes, please give us an update! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gaeta Posted September 28, 2015 Author Share Posted September 28, 2015 So Gaeta my friend.... you off to the park soon? :bunny: You funny girl lol. He called me at 5h I was still at the office and I told him I needed to put in a little bit of overtime today so not sure but to let me know if he heads to the park and I'll see where I'm at. Link to post Share on other sites
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