Author hotpotato Posted August 30, 2015 Author Share Posted August 30, 2015 hot potato, Oddly I understand your concept, in essence, All good things must come to an end, for we are finite . A contract though? How detailed? What provisions? Is it open to negotiation ? would it really be enforced legally? Or is this just a "refer back to subtitle two section 4" when in the mist of a glitch? It reminds me of Sheldon from Big bang, His character had contracts for friends, and roommates, and dating. That is too OCD for most people getting to freely know another. Dating need not be confining or restrictive to the extent of a contract, nature rarely has contracts. I wouldnt go that far. I wouldnt want to micromanage. I mostly want it ti be like having a regular relationship except with a set ending Link to post Share on other sites
edgygirl Posted August 30, 2015 Share Posted August 30, 2015 Sounds like you've been hurt and are trying to not go far with anyone for fear of getting hurt again. Hey we all been there. Sorry but there's no other way than to put your soul on the line if you want to find love again. Masking the inevitable doesn't sound realistic. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author hotpotato Posted August 31, 2015 Author Share Posted August 31, 2015 Sounds like you've been hurt and are trying to not go far with anyone for fear of getting hurt again. Hey we all been there. Sorry but there's no other way than to put your soul on the line if you want to find love again. Masking the inevitable doesn't sound realistic. I'll admit, i've had a problem with guys suddenly leaving, or rather it feels that way at the same time. I want to date for a short time without the surprises. Link to post Share on other sites
LookAtThisPOst Posted August 31, 2015 Share Posted August 31, 2015 I'll admit, i've had a problem with guys suddenly leaving, or rather it feels that way at the same time. I want to date for a short time without the surprises. Would sex be included in this "contract?" Link to post Share on other sites
Author hotpotato Posted August 31, 2015 Author Share Posted August 31, 2015 Would sex be included in this "contract?" Yep. Ten characters Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted August 31, 2015 Share Posted August 31, 2015 Would you ever enter a,dating contract? For example, an agreement to date or be partnered for a set smount of time? depends on why the contract was needed Link to post Share on other sites
Author hotpotato Posted August 31, 2015 Author Share Posted August 31, 2015 depends on why the contract was needed I'm trying to avoid negative surprises. Link to post Share on other sites
PaperCrane Posted August 31, 2015 Share Posted August 31, 2015 Sorry for the late reply. It happened because we liked each other but there wasn't a way, at all, that a LTR could come of it. We talked and agreed we wanted to experience each other in a relationship rather than not, and went from there, albeit briefly. We also agreed we wouldn't contact each other for some time after so that we could both move on and any lingering feelings wouldn't get in the way of future relationships. It's more of a time and place with circumstances type of arrangement. I'd assume almost any guy would be up for this. Just ask a guy you like and see if he's up for it. You'd have to propose the idea since you have the plan in mind. Link to post Share on other sites
LookAtThisPOst Posted August 31, 2015 Share Posted August 31, 2015 I'm trying to avoid negative surprises. There is no real avoiding such things. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author hotpotato Posted August 31, 2015 Author Share Posted August 31, 2015 There is no real avoiding such things. I know i cant ever avoid 100%, but id at least like to reduce the chances of a bad ending. Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted August 31, 2015 Share Posted August 31, 2015 I'm trying to avoid negative surprises. what are your specifics on negative surprises......deb Link to post Share on other sites
Author hotpotato Posted August 31, 2015 Author Share Posted August 31, 2015 what are your specifics on negative surprises......deb Being dumped Link to post Share on other sites
RecentChange Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 So wait - you want a contract to avoid being dumped? Would you honestly want to be with someone only because they are contractually obligated to? Do you think if someone had a change of heart about you that they would honestly up hold the contract? Your only recourse would be litigation if they "broke contract". "Don't leave me or I will sue you!"? No, I would never sign such a contract, and if presented with one, I would find it extremely off putting and refuse to sign. Most likely a deal killer. I work reviewing contracts for high liability transactions for a living. I am ALL about being risk adverse, and playing out scenarios etc in my professional life. But not when it comes to love and relationships - risk is part of the game, none of us have a crystal ball. I am also one who finds no appeal to marriage contracts - been with the same person for almost 15 years and never had the desire to put it in writing (now insurance, wills etc - those are forms I will sign!) Link to post Share on other sites
Author hotpotato Posted September 1, 2015 Author Share Posted September 1, 2015 Well...yes, i would stay with someone under contract. Thats the arrangement i want. I was worried about the change of heart, but thsts why such a relationship would have to be short. It doesnt have to be a formal contract. Im jot planning to sue anyone. Link to post Share on other sites
RecentChange Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 I don't understand why you would want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author hotpotato Posted September 1, 2015 Author Share Posted September 1, 2015 I don't understand why you would want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you. He can want to be with me and like me. In fact, i want to like him and want him to like me. I just dont want any surprises. Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 I doubt I would start a relationship with an expiration date already in place. While the formalities of a contract are a bit cold, I do think talking about expectations is a good idea. I agree. I think it's important to talk about expectations, where you want things to go, and all of that instead of what many do, which is never set any expectations or make their desires known and just kind of go along with whatever, then you get the situation of "I don't know where we stand," "Will he ever marry me?" "Does he/she see a future with me?" "What are we?" Discussing expectations and what you want and don't want and checking in periodically about the page you're on would alleviate much of that uncertainty and misunderstandings; however, like you said, actually having a contract might be a bit too formal and cold but the general idea of laying out desires and expectations for the relationship before you're in too deep makes sense to me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author hotpotato Posted September 1, 2015 Author Share Posted September 1, 2015 I agree. I think it's important to talk about expectations, where you want things to go, and all of that instead of what many do, which is never set any expectations or make their desires known and just kind of go along with whatever, then you get the situation of "I don't know where we stand," "Will he ever marry me?" "Does he/she see a future with me?" "What are we?" Discussing expectations and what you want and don't want and checking in periodically about the page you're on would alleviate much of that uncertainty and misunderstandings; however, like you said, actually having a contract might be a bit too formal and cold but the general idea of laying out desires and expectations for the relationship before you're in too deep makes sense to me. i think it's nice to check in, but in reality, most people won't. I'm also kinda over being the emotional pillar of relationships and doing most of the work. A contract might be cold, but much of dating is cold anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
kilgore Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 i think it's nice to check in, but in reality, most people won't. I'm also kinda over being the emotional pillar of relationships and doing most of the work. A contract might be cold, but much of dating is cold anyway. I don't think it will give you what you want. If you want to continue and the person wants to stick to the contract end date it will feel like a break up. Link to post Share on other sites
Author hotpotato Posted September 1, 2015 Author Share Posted September 1, 2015 I don't think it will give you what you want. If you want to continue and the person wants to stick to the contract end date it will feel like a break up. Im fine with that, as long as there arent any surprises. Link to post Share on other sites
Author hotpotato Posted September 6, 2015 Author Share Posted September 6, 2015 Even my fwb arrangement is causing me mild anxiety. Link to post Share on other sites
kilgore Posted September 6, 2015 Share Posted September 6, 2015 Even my fwb arrangement is causing me mild anxiety. But isn't that supposed to have a level of detachment? What about the record braking guy online? Lol Link to post Share on other sites
Author hotpotato Posted September 6, 2015 Author Share Posted September 6, 2015 But isn't that supposed to have a level of detachment? What about the record braking guy online? Lol Yes, but i still don't want surprises. That's how much I hate surprises lol I called out chat buddy on having a gf. Now I gotta find someone else with an anaconda. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kilgore Posted September 7, 2015 Share Posted September 7, 2015 Yes, but i still don't want surprises. That's how much I hate surprises lol I called out chat buddy on having a gf. Now I gotta find someone else with an anaconda. You and the anacondas Link to post Share on other sites
Author hotpotato Posted September 7, 2015 Author Share Posted September 7, 2015 You and the anacondas lol ten characters 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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