hotpotato Posted August 23, 2015 Posted August 23, 2015 Would you ever enter a,dating contract? For example, an agreement to date or be partnered for a set smount of time? 1
Clarence_Boddicker Posted August 23, 2015 Posted August 23, 2015 Generally contracts are not worth the paper they are written on.
d0nnivain Posted August 23, 2015 Posted August 23, 2015 I doubt I would start a relationship with an expiration date already in place. While the formalities of a contract are a bit cold, I do think talking about expectations is a good idea. 2
central Posted August 23, 2015 Posted August 23, 2015 I very much doubt it. However, most relationships come with a set of unwritten expectations and standards already. You can discuss these and make them explicit, but I don't see the point of a contract that can't be enforced anyway.
Author hotpotato Posted August 24, 2015 Author Posted August 24, 2015 Im cool with expiration dates. I guess id have to find so.eone who is true to their word.
d0nnivain Posted August 24, 2015 Posted August 24, 2015 Im cool with expiration dates. I guess id have to find so.eone who is true to their word. Why are you "cool with expiration dates"? That sounds so sad to me. Date but then a year later even if everything is great break up because of a date on a calendar. Doesn't make sense. Yes, finding somebody trustworthy is important no matter what.
StalwartMind Posted August 24, 2015 Posted August 24, 2015 While I'm curious as to why you want this, it's none of my business. That said I don't see any problem with setting up a dating contract, although it likely won't appeal to many. Trust is typically gained over time through consistent and honest behavior, which may make your wish a bit more challenging to accomplish. Basically every interaction/agreement we choose to do is a gamble, although if you can work it into your contract, to be compensated (whatever you wish/need) in case of a breach, then why not. Just because I'd never feel the need to make contracts myself, doesn't mean that you are in the wrong for wishing to do so, no matter what anyone may think. As someone who is in favor of anything developing naturally, I have my doubts if such an arrangement will even work in favor for you, as the potential of things being faked is much higher. By all means, far from the most unusual thing I've heard or seen, but can it work? sure, why not, as long as you find an individual who'll agree to it, which I'm sure there is somewhere.
Author hotpotato Posted August 24, 2015 Author Posted August 24, 2015 Why are you "cool with expiration dates"? That sounds so sad to me. Date but then a year later even if everything is great break up because of a date on a calendar. Doesn't make sense. Yes, finding somebody trustworthy is important no matter what. A year is definitely too long. I was thinking a few months. Im cool with relationship ending on a good note. All of this makes perfect sense to me. I dont want any surprises.
PaperCrane Posted August 24, 2015 Posted August 24, 2015 I did this once when I was younger, it actually went...really well. I think it went well because both parties knew what was going to happen. No weird end that is a random breakup in the miasma of the hazy future. Just knowing you'll have fun and that's it. The bonus is, is that you know you can continue if you want to but there isn't an expectation of it. There is no fault at the separation. There were tears of course and heartache but we were both very happy that it happened. 1
central Posted August 24, 2015 Posted August 24, 2015 When you say contract, I think there's money involved, which isn't really a relationship or dating IMO. Can you hire a gigolo or prostitute for a few months at a time? Or are they just on retainer?
autumnnight Posted August 24, 2015 Posted August 24, 2015 I can see how this would appeal to someone who wants everything in life to work like a math problem with guarantees. I don't know that I would actually call that a relationship, however. 3
misspond Posted August 24, 2015 Posted August 24, 2015 Surely people who enter into something (pun not intended but just noticed), hoping that it will be a relationship that lasts or even for those looking for something short term, don't set an, "end time"? Even those who, "aren't really looking for something that's forever," can't be so cold as to say, "Let's do this for two months and then end it." ? However. It's a solution for those who don't want to open themselves up emotionally. 1
Author hotpotato Posted August 24, 2015 Author Posted August 24, 2015 I can see how this would appeal to someone who wants everything in life to work like a math problem with guarantees. I don't know that I would actually call that a relationship, however. Some people dont want surprises. Poster above has done something like this. It can be fun. I dont care whether it is a real relationship or not. We can still like each other though.
Author hotpotato Posted August 24, 2015 Author Posted August 24, 2015 I did this once when I was younger, it actually went...really well. I think it went well because both parties knew what was going to happen. No weird end that is a random breakup in the miasma of the hazy future. Just knowing you'll have fun and that's it. The bonus is, is that you know you can continue if you want to but there isn't an expectation of it. There is no fault at the separation. There were tears of course and heartache but we were both very happy that it happened. How did you find someone who was willing?
newmoon Posted August 25, 2015 Posted August 25, 2015 Would you ever enter a,dating contract? For example, an agreement to date or be partnered for a set smount of time? i did this last year. this guy was hounding me to date him --- i liked him, but i wasn't sure i *liked* him, so we agreed to a dating contract so i could try him on for size :-) he felt like it gave him a chance, and i was single and had time. we agreed to 8 dates, 4 of his choosing and 4 of mine, and we had other 'rules' as well, like a weekly dinner he would cook one week and i'd cook the next. we made it 4 or 5 dates before i couldn't do it anymore.. i just didn't like him enough. but it served as a way for me to give him a chance and i wouldn't have without some agreement beforehand. it was weird, but worked at the time.
Author hotpotato Posted August 26, 2015 Author Posted August 26, 2015 i did this last year. this guy was hounding me to date him --- i liked him, but i wasn't sure i *liked* him, so we agreed to a dating contract so i could try him on for size :-) he felt like it gave him a chance, and i was single and had time. we agreed to 8 dates, 4 of his choosing and 4 of mine, and we had other 'rules' as well, like a weekly dinner he would cook one week and i'd cook the next. we made it 4 or 5 dates before i couldn't do it anymore.. i just didn't like him enough. but it served as a way for me to give him a chance and i wouldn't have without some agreement beforehand. it was weird, but worked at the time. I don't think i'd want to micromanage everything lol I'm looking to really date, but only for a short period of time.
LookAtThisPOst Posted August 26, 2015 Posted August 26, 2015 I don't think i'd want to micromanage everything lol I'm looking to really date, but only for a short period of time. Usually I've noticed this is meant for those looking for free dinners and movies.
Author hotpotato Posted August 26, 2015 Author Posted August 26, 2015 Usually I've noticed this is meant for those looking for free dinners and movies. I can buy my own dinners. And im fine going to the movies by myself. What i really want is to date for a short time and not have any surprises.
kilgore Posted August 27, 2015 Posted August 27, 2015 I can buy my own dinners. And im fine going to the movies by myself. What i really want is to date for a short time and not have any surprises. Why? What is the benefit?
Author hotpotato Posted August 27, 2015 Author Posted August 27, 2015 Why? What is the benefit? No nasty breakup
Yummm Posted August 27, 2015 Posted August 27, 2015 Makes absolutely no sense to me what so ever, but each to their own. To answer your question OP - No, I wouldn't. I'd actually be really offended if somebody suggested this to me lol. 1
Author hotpotato Posted August 27, 2015 Author Posted August 27, 2015 Makes absolutely no sense to me what so ever, but each to their own. To answer your question OP - No, I wouldn't. I'd actually be really offended if somebody suggested this to me lol. Why offended?
Author hotpotato Posted August 29, 2015 Author Posted August 29, 2015 I thought about finding a guy, dating him, then just dumping him. Id,ratger find a guy who can maje an agreement with me.
Tayla Posted August 30, 2015 Posted August 30, 2015 hot potato, Oddly I understand your concept, in essence, All good things must come to an end, for we are finite . A contract though? How detailed? What provisions? Is it open to negotiation ? would it really be enforced legally? Or is this just a "refer back to subtitle two section 4" when in the mist of a glitch? It reminds me of Sheldon from Big bang, His character had contracts for friends, and roommates, and dating. That is too OCD for most people getting to freely know another. Dating need not be confining or restrictive to the extent of a contract, nature rarely has contracts.
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