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almost COMPLETED suicide right in FRONT of me


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*he- is referring to the dude that tried the suicide..


I think the fact that i am down about my situation with the mm and im going through my withdrawal from mm is what caused the whole problem..he told me that i could confide in him and tell him what was wrong with me. so i told him how i was finally letting go of my mm and blah blah..he tried his best to comfort me, and was trying his best to show me that he cared..but his version of caring for me, is for me to INSTANTLY like him..and well i dont develope feelins fast for anybody.and he wouldnt accept that..


so we talked, and he was like this will bring us CLOSER together, and all i said was, "only time will tell"..and that brought upon his bitchy mode, where he felt he had to bring up that he tried to make me feel better about my mm situation and all this..and im like for a person that helps someone, u shouldnt throw in their face WHAT YOU DO FOR THEM..i guess he thinks that him tryna make me feel better (which by the way he didnt really make me feel better,but i thanked him for trying) should be the reason i fall madly in love with him overnight(for the record, we are just friends, and he likes me, but i dont feel the same)..


so he got mad that my feelins hadnt change and he went thru the bitch mode with me, this is where he always tell me im wrong for bein sarcastic, cheerful, happy, and honest...and well i mean i am dealing with alot of emotions here, and i was at the point where i really didnt give a damn of what he had to say..so i told him what was on my mind, told him i was tired of being disrespected for being the person that i am today, tired of his bitchin, tired of his negative attitude bringing down my day,etc..and well that upset him, and when he gets upset he threatens to kill hisself..so for the first time after allthe threats..i just said to him, you know what..im not responsible for your happiness, and im not responsible for your actions, i tried to help you, but you dont want the help


so i tell him we should just cool it for a minute, cuz im stressed and got things i got to deal with...and then he started..


sent me a IM and a invite to his webcam, and showed me sum sleepin pills...then he took a handful of them, and then took a knife and slit his wrists and arms..i hate seeing folks hurt themselves be it intenionally or accidentally, so i couldnt really watch him doing that to hisself..so i tol him to stop and get sum help..i begged, cried, screamed,all that..and then i called to make sure he was ok, and he sounded like death warmed over..breathin hard, blackin out while talkin to me..


so i told him to get off the phone with me and call the police,etc..and finally he gave in and called for help..


i dont know why i am posting this...i guess cuz i needed sumbody to talk to or something to vent to, and this was the only place i could think of..i will mos def say that, that was a scary experience..he always said he would kill hisself in front of me, guess i thought he was just joking.. :(

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Its good that he called for help. Hopefully he will get the help he needs to resolve whatever issues led him to those actions.

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