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Struggling with NC? Look at Pictures


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This works for me. I had a habit of googling xMM in the early stages of our A (he has a unique name) but found nothing and I stopped doing it. After the end of the A and during NC, I took an off chance and googled his and his wife's name.

 

I found their pre-wedding photos taken at some exotic country, along with some facebook posts that wasn't made private. Wow, felt like a punch to my stomach. It also dawned to me that when we started the A, they were only married for 1 year+ (after 10 years of dating). It hurt, I admit it. Then I took a step further and saved the pictures to my phone.

 

I did that to remind myself of the reality that I have to face in order to move on. Think more than a decade of shared life- They went through college and moves to 3 different countries together. I don't feel like it is a competition of BW vs OW, and I don't feel that what we had wasn't genuine. But as with most As, it simply wasn't right and wasn't enough.

 

We will never be privy to the full extent of MMs "real life", but glimpses like these just shows how much intimate and loving details their marriage has that we were kept out of (no matter how "awful" it is") and we were just what most OWs are- side pieces.

 

Nothing strengthens my determination more than this!

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