JamesThomas Posted August 3, 2015 Share Posted August 3, 2015 (edited) I broke up with my girlfriend about a week ago and she was really angry and upset with me. It was one of them things where you get really hurt and upset and you stupidly breakup with that person even though you don't mean it. Anyway I suffered all week because of it, she became cold and distant towards me and I really couldn't cope... Then she blocked me and I thought I'd never ever see her again and I actually began to find a little peace and acceptance in that fact. On Saturday I got this really big feeling that she wanted to speak to me so I went onto Whatsapp (it's where we talk mostly) and half an hour later she unblocks me and asks me how I'm doing, what my plans are for the future. Then later that day she asked to meet me to discuss things face to face. She got angry a few times and a bit teary eyed too, I cried at one point and told her how sorry I am for what I did to her. She puts her arms around me to comfort me and I cried into her shoulder "I'm so sorry..." I began to see just how much I had hurt her and realized what a bloody idiot I was for thinking that she didn't actually care about me as much as I'd hoped. Like me she hadn't been eating properly, she had to make dinner dates with her parents and friends just so that she'd even eat anything and she told me that she really missed me. Things didn't really go super fine and to be honest we both thought it was a goodbye conversation. But yesterday she asked to see me again in the evening so we met up and I took her to this really quiet place by a little river, really peaceful (I know she loves nature and so do I.) Then we watched the sunset together and it started to get a bit cold so she eventually took my arm and wrapped it around her and I held her close and said "I'm glad you did that.. I wanted to do that 10 minutes ago but didn't want to push you into anything" Long story short we watched the sun set and then watched the big full moon rise above the trees and we ended up kissing. We went back to her place for tea but I didn't stay, even though I could see she was a bit sad. I didn't stay because I knew I had to let her process everything that had happened and I didn't want to be the reason for her having sadness through association (we had argued a few times at her place) Since all of this happened I have learned to be more accepting and understanding towards her feelings. To be honest I was in so much despair and pain that I turned to God and started to pray every day, started going to church too. The problem is that I had always been able to read her emotions even if she thought about it only briefly but now I do it even more because I've become more understanding. Now the only problem is that we have to keep it all a secret for the moment because our friends, her neighbor and, worst of all, her parents know that I hurt her. So her parents already don't like me and I've not even met them yet lol. I've also learned to not take her for granted and to respect her because I do NOT want to go through the pain I went through ever again. It's a pain I wouldn't wish upon anybody. I do believe in a future for me and her and have thought that for a long time and I believe she is worth fighting for. Edited August 3, 2015 by JamesThomas Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 3, 2015 Share Posted August 3, 2015 What I see isn't a mature reconciliation but that you two bought tickets to the dysfunctional merry go round of on again off again relationships. Real growth is not possible in one week. You have yet to address whatever it was that broke you up & people who "stupidly" (your word) break up are doomed to repeat this unhealthy pattern. In part because I have never broken up with somebody in anger or emotionally without giving the consequences of my actions serious thought, I don't ride the merry go round. I wish you well but don't see this reconciliation lasting beyond the next hiccup in your relationship. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted August 3, 2015 Share Posted August 3, 2015 I broke up with my girlfriend about a week ago and she was really angry and upset with me. As a dumper it is usually fairly easy to reconcile with a grieving ex, because they are bereaved and in pain and will accept anything just to get back to the status quo, back to when things were normal. But it doesn't fix why you decided to break up with her in the first place. ...Then she blocked me and I thought I'd never ever see her again and I actually began to find a little peace and acceptance in that fact. - this bothers me and it is mostly why I think this relationship is not going to work long term. Reconciliation can just be a huge ego trip for the dumper. They realise the power they hold over the dumpee and I guess it is why so many get on as D0nnivain says "the merry go round of off and on relationships." 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author JamesThomas Posted August 3, 2015 Author Share Posted August 3, 2015 Sorry but I'm going to choose not to listen to what you have to say because neithe of you know me in person so you can't really pass judgement lol. If it doesn't work then it doesn't work, if it does it does. Nobody here can predict the future Thanks for the "advice" but peoples advice and opinions aren't always fruitful and turn out to be false. I shall however keep it in mind. Don't think I'll return to this forum but I do understand your concerns. Thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
candie13 Posted August 3, 2015 Share Posted August 3, 2015 how old are you and how long have you been dating this girl ? I sense you're quite young and feisty... yeah, I remember those times, myself. It's really good to see that she came back and talked to you and more importantly that you didn't just take it for granted. It does me good to hear about how you acknowledge her pain and frustration, very rare to hear that, coming from a man. as the others said, rejoice on the reconciliation but do try to understand what hurt her so much so that she wanted to cut you off from her life... not for her, but for you. all the best for the future !!! Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted August 3, 2015 Share Posted August 3, 2015 but do try to understand what hurt her so much so that she wanted to cut you off from her life... not for her, but for you. He dumped her. Link to post Share on other sites
goldway90 Posted August 3, 2015 Share Posted August 3, 2015 "Now the only problem is that we have to keep it all a secret for the moment because our friends, her neighbor and, worst of all, her parents know that I hurt her. So her parents already don't like me and I've not even met them yet lol." What!! i mean i'm glad to you're back with her but this one is just super weird and i can see trouble in the future. That's a bad start. Good luck. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 3, 2015 Share Posted August 3, 2015 Sorry but I'm going to choose not to listen to what you have to say because neithe of you know me in person so you can't really pass judgement lol. If it doesn't work then it doesn't work, if it does it does. Nobody here can predict the future Thanks for the "advice" but peoples advice and opinions aren't always fruitful and turn out to be false. I shall however keep it in mind. Don't think I'll return to this forum but I do understand your concerns. Thanks! We can only go by what you tell us. From what you said it doesn't look promising but I do wish you the best. Link to post Share on other sites
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