alphamale Posted May 12, 2005 Share Posted May 12, 2005 Originally posted by Mz. Pixie I said, well they are up there- and they are so happy and they are confident and they think it will always be that way- and it probably won't. They are so young and naive that they think everything will always be perfect Life is a learning experience and the best lesson is a first-hand one. I love these young folk who think they know everything and are invincible. What a bunch of naive fools Link to post Share on other sites
Bronzepen Posted May 12, 2005 Share Posted May 12, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale Life is a learning experience and the best lesson is a first-hand one. I love these young folk who think they know everything and are invincible. What a bunch of naive fools AH, to be young and simple minded. I miss the good old days when I thought my parents had no clue about how the world functioned. Apologies, Mom and Dad, you were right. Link to post Share on other sites
HoldOn Posted May 12, 2005 Share Posted May 12, 2005 Some unmarried people DO know that marriage isn't all a bed of roses. We have parents, you know. My parents have been married 30 years, they've had some hard times. I know that I can't expect marriage to be wonderful every single day, but I also know that you can stay together even when you go through hard times because you can get to the other side. Do you really know that that young couple doesn't know? I mean, maybe they had a huge fight the night before... Really, i think it's okay to be happy on your wedding day? Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted May 12, 2005 Share Posted May 12, 2005 Oh HoldOn, we ALL have parents! That's the point that those of us who are divorced are making. Everyone has parents, sho' nuff, but it really doesn't teach you much - until you actually go through it and have to deal with all the BS that comes along with it. My parents have been married 35 years. I never realized that I would get to the point where looking into my husband's eyes made me nauseous. And watching him sleep made me want to gently place a pillow over his face. It wasn't the arguments that really did us in. It was the day to day bullsh*t that you never really think about until it's in your face and the way they breathe frikkin annoys you, and the way they smell starts to irritate you, etc. I will date for the rest of my life but I'm not marrying anyone else. Unless a large bribe is involved. :snort: Link to post Share on other sites
HoldOn Posted May 12, 2005 Share Posted May 12, 2005 I'm just saying that not all single people are clueless about the difficulties of marriage... I, personally, am not expecting marriage to be a wonderful walk in the roses everyday, but I still want to do it! It will have hard times and easy times, but I think it's worth it when you work hard on it. Also, I added wrong, I can't believe my parents have been married 40 freaking years! Link to post Share on other sites
MySugaree Posted May 12, 2005 Share Posted May 12, 2005 I never realized that I would get to the point where looking into my husband's eyes made me nauseous. And watching him sleep made me want to gently place a pillow over his face. Ah, true love. Sigh... Link to post Share on other sites
Merin Posted May 12, 2005 Share Posted May 12, 2005 *Sigh* Nobody (Well most people) don't have Kiddo's with the idea that one day they will be a single parent.. It seems fairly simple to me.. If you don't like/want Kids don't date someone who has them. Honestly I've met Guys before who were alllllll about talking to me.. then you tell them "I have Kids" and they look like this>> You'd think I had just asked them to fill out a freakin application to be My Kids Dad.. WTF? As if he was good enough to even be considered for the position! My Kids DON'T need a Dad, they have one (Not a great one, but I digress) I don't need/want a Guy to be My kids Dad, but hell yeah he better understand and know that if he cannot accept that I have Kids (and they're not his) and he cannot be a friend to my Kids then he's got to go period.. never mind him making the decision to not date me because I've got Kids.. screw that, I'll make it really easy for him in not dating him to begin with. My BF has 2 Kids.. his Kids are awesome and I totally understand where he is with that.. the same as he gets where I am with mine. Thing to keep in mind when making a decision to get involved with someone who has peeps from a previous relationship is they are going to be forever connected to an EX... so IMO it takes a strong, secure person to be involved in this kind of situation. Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted May 12, 2005 Share Posted May 12, 2005 Originally posted by blind_otter I will date for the rest of my life but I'm not marrying anyone else. Unless a large bribe is involved. :snort: U R soooooo god damn cute!!!! Oh, ye, ya gonna marry a few more times, remember my words! Link to post Share on other sites
soccorsilly Posted May 13, 2005 Share Posted May 13, 2005 I pulled this from Ziggue's post but I don't see it here in the thread, but I need to say something to silverspring... Woah! I am glad as hell I don't know you. You act as if the kids from an ex relationship (wanted or not) can be just ignored and passed to another party. Wake up girl, life is not like that. Kids will make (quite literally) a lifetime bond between two people--not two exes, but a mother and a father. So sorry that the child was taking time from "your" weekend. How selfish can you be? And why is it that you feel he would be more protective of his first child than with any child the two of you might have? That has to be one of the most selfish, self serving posts I have EVER read on here. I certainly hope you are on some sort of birth control, because I really feel sorry for any child that is raised by a mother with the values you imparted in this post! Originally posted by silverspring I'm a 26 year old female and I wouldn't want to date someone with kids. Being divorced is fine, but no children. I dated a 29 year old man who had a child out of wedlock. He worked during the weekdays then had to take care of his 5 year old daughter on the weekends. Bleh! First, I wasn't happy that he met face to face with his ex-lover every single week. Second, he was at his baby's mother's beck and call, and proved that if *I* ever had his child, I'd be in a constant tug of war with his ex-lover. Third, I felt like the daughter was stealing all his weekends. Fourth, whenever he talked about his daughter, I just couldn't get enthused because she wasn't mine. The daughter's appearance, behavior, and overall presence was a reflection of his ex-lover and I felt very unhappy about it. Fifth, I didn't see the point of dating a man who constantly favoured some other woman's kid over me. If *I* ever got pregnant with his child I felt that I would be left in the cold with no protection because he'd be too busy protecting his daughter. If a man is going to dote that kind of attention on a kid, the child would better be mine OR a chlid that we decided to adopt together. Not one that belongs to an ex-lover. Just my opinion. Link to post Share on other sites
Merin Posted May 13, 2005 Share Posted May 13, 2005 Originally posted by soccorsilly I pulled this from Ziggue's post but I don't see it here in the thread, but I need to say something to silverspring... Woah! I am glad as hell I don't know you. You act as if the kids from an ex relationship (wanted or not) can be just ignored and passed to another party. Wake up girl, life is not like that. Kids will make (quite literally) a lifetime bond between two people--not two exes, but a mother and a father. So sorry that the child was taking time from "your" weekend. How selfish can you be? And why is it that you feel he would be more protective of his first child than with any child the two of you might have? That has to be one of the most selfish, self serving posts I have EVER read on here. I certainly hope you are on some sort of birth control, because I really feel sorry for any child that is raised by a mother with the values you imparted in this post! W w! I hadn't read her post until now... I only want to add that WTF do you mean he favours some other womans kid over you? That isn't just some other womans kid, it's also HIS KID! Link to post Share on other sites
XNemesisX Posted May 13, 2005 Share Posted May 13, 2005 I tried dating a guy with a child a few months ago. It's nothing against the child, in fact I really respected how well he took care of his daughter. It's just not the kind of responsibility that I want at this point. I think it would be easier to date a guy with children, then a woman with children (because usually the mother is with the kids more than the father). But anyway, I also wouldn't want to date someone divorced (preferably). I am too immature right now (yes I admit it!) to date someone with children. I can barely take care of my puppy I'm sure that if I met someone I REALLY liked enough, then it wouldn't matter to me AT ALL if he had kids or was divorced. At 22 though, most of the guys in my age range have neither so I don't have to worry about that too much ....YET. Link to post Share on other sites
soccorsilly Posted May 13, 2005 Share Posted May 13, 2005 Nemesis--it is definately not for everyone. The key is to realize if you can handle it or not. If you think you can, you need to be prepared for ALL that comes with it. I was just outraged about the post from silverspring (wherever it came from)...I wonder how she would feel if she dated a childless man who copped that tude on her and said he couldn't deal with the fact that she loved another guys kid...as Merin said---WTF it is HIS kid. Link to post Share on other sites
MiChick43 Posted May 13, 2005 Share Posted May 13, 2005 BigB, I think its just important to keep an open mind and just be selective. A mother, a good mother, with small children will put their kids first. By this I mean she will not be away from them all the time with her man. She will give her kids the quality time and care they need. Its sometimes hard to date when kids are small. It takes a wonderful man to understand this. My current guy does not have kids. He was in a marriage prior to being with me where his wife did not want kids. So many years went by and he now regrets his decision. But he has been wonderful with my kids and my two year old grandson who calls him papa. I asked him what he wanted my grandson to call him and he said......grampa. We recently became engaged. My kids are now 21 and 23. My son, 21, spends a lot of time with my guy, watching sports and such. Much more then my sons own father ever did. In fact he lives out of state and now has a 4 year old and never calls my kids. So its been nice having a great guy that loves having my kids in the picture. So.....just keep an open mind. There are great situations out there where there are kids involved and a relationship works out just fine. Youll know which situation will work and which one wont. have fun dating!! Link to post Share on other sites
hotgurl Posted May 13, 2005 Share Posted May 13, 2005 soccersilly, thank god you said soemthing. I was goingt o but the psot made me so mad I had to calm down or else I'd been reported to the moderators. what pissed me off especially was the part where she said she didn't want him to pay attention to the kids unless they were thiers together. Like you'd really want to date a guy who'd ignore his kids for a piece of a##. It's a choice. It's difficult to date a perdon with kids. But I'm a single parent and casually dated for 2 yrs and they never meet my daugther. My current bf meet her after 9 months and he loves her. It's a little different for me no ex in the picture to deal with. Link to post Share on other sites
ziggue Posted May 15, 2005 Share Posted May 15, 2005 Originally posted by soccorsilly It is definately not for everyone. The key is to realize if you can handle it or not. If you think you can, you need to be prepared for ALL that comes with it. I agree with that. I knew that I didn't want kids till my early 30s but still had an open mind and gave dating guys with kids a go. In every relationship you are in you do learn something and gain some life experience along the way and that is the only way you are able to know if you can handle that kind of situation or not. Merin, Soccorsilly: Silversprings post was the post was the first reply that BigB got. Link to post Share on other sites
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