lino Posted August 1, 2015 Share Posted August 1, 2015 Women like this aren't uncommon. Have known guys in this position and think I was even in a similar situation once myself, though I have no hard proof. Get out of it as quickly as you can. Link to post Share on other sites
Author dandyrandy Posted August 1, 2015 Author Share Posted August 1, 2015 As far as I can understand this unfolding drama, you're in one fine mess. There's no solution to your problem - if that's what you're looking for - unless and until she leaves her boyfriend. There was in impossible condition imposed with the FWB arrangement - that neither party to the FWB arrangement is supposed to fall in love. Well, guess what? That happened. Doesn't sound like you're being played. Sounds like she genuinely cares for you and loves you. And you feel the same way about her. The fact remains, the reason she's staying with her BF is stronger than her love for you ("her heart is with the guy because she is concerned about his health and his suicidal tendencies."). So you will have to live with that until she decides to leave him or the guy finds another love interest which seems unlikely given the picture you've painted about him. I'm just wondering what you're going to do if the BF forbids her from seeing you, if he hasn't already done so. Hopefully he won't become abusive now that he knows she's in love with someone else because that sounds like a possibility and that could put her in harm's way. Interesting thing you mention that.. He actually forbid her a long time ago from seeing me because he noticed she started to have genuine feelings for me and it was not just about sex. It was right around my motorcycle accident over a month ago. She went to see me anyway and he kicked her out of there apartment. They are still living together but he cant really do anything about her seeing me anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
Author dandyrandy Posted August 1, 2015 Author Share Posted August 1, 2015 I knew I remembered this story - http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/539203-dating-seeing-female-swinger-we-getting-really-close-not-sure As I said in that thread as well, this is a very bad situation and you're asking for trouble. Instead of messing w-a woman that cheats on a crazy boyfriend to be with you, why not just try to meet a woman that you can be in a normal healthy relationship with? I tried dating other women.. Weird thing is even the hottest girls dont even interest me right now... This is bad I know.. I have been bitten by this freakin love bug! Link to post Share on other sites
Author dandyrandy Posted August 1, 2015 Author Share Posted August 1, 2015 So, you love a woman that cheats on her boyfriend? It seems your moral expectations are a bit low. If she cheats with you, she will cheat on you. Its not really cheating because the boyfriend and girlfriend permit each other to having sex with others. Thats how she met me. I was supposed to be her new sex object because her previous lover got married. Link to post Share on other sites
Author dandyrandy Posted August 1, 2015 Author Share Posted August 1, 2015 25 - 14 = 11 I meant to say she met him when they were 14 not 14 years ago. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted August 1, 2015 Share Posted August 1, 2015 Everyone please read up on the part about the BOYFRIEND and SHE HAS BEEN THE ONLY ONE THERE FOR ME. It is key in understanding all of this. Once you read it get back with me. Thank you. As far as you know.....you believe everything she tells you? hah. Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted August 1, 2015 Share Posted August 1, 2015 I am 33 and well to do right now and can do whatever I want but there is one problem.. I am in love with my FWB! I am not sure what to do about this one.. I met this 25 year old woman 3 months ago. It was supposed to be just sex and fun! She also has a boyfriend! Yes! I will explain more on that later. Now as time has passed I have become in love with my friend with benefits and it happened very unexpectedly for both of us. She is also in love with me too but I don't know to what degree her love is for me. Mine is really bad.. I have love sickness really bad to where I don't eat or sleep much. I EVEN STOPPED DATING OTHER WOMEN! I am trying to stay cool about it and not freak her out as some kind of obsession but this has proven to be very hard. We see each other once a week sometimes but rarely twice a week. Our schedules in life don't really permit much more than one visit a week. As for her she has to be somewhat in love me too because she was there for me after my motorcycle accident and she even gave me an amazing birthday recently! She loves staying the night with me every time. We are amazing in everything we do together and I am not just talking about the amazing sex but everything else. Clearly she has seen the greatness about me! She brings me gifts and pampers me a lot! I see that she wants to be with me more but the boyfriend is the huge problem in her life. I will explain more later... Any suggestions??? If you have anything that just says run for the hills or anything derogatory and negative don't bother responding. Only clean, positive, and intelligent comments will be replied to. Thank you! The only thing you can "do" is sit back and let things progress naturally. Let her deal with the boyfriend and make whatever decision she needs to make. It's only been 3 months with you. The fact that she has an FWB and a boyfriend is, I'll say, odd. Does the boyfriend know about this? She may simply have you as an FWB for refuge from him on some level. Just keep doing whatever you've been doing because that's what's drawing her to you. If you change anything or do anything different right now, it will change the dynamic of the current situation which is working apparently. Don't pressure her about the boyfriend either. And, be careful too. What is going on between her and the boyfriend? Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted August 1, 2015 Share Posted August 1, 2015 The only thing you can "do" is sit back and let things progress naturally. Let her deal with the boyfriend and make whatever decision she needs to make. It's only been 3 months with you. The fact that she has an FWB and a boyfriend is, I'll say, odd. Does the boyfriend know about this? She may simply have you as an FWB for refuge from him on some level. Just keep doing whatever you've been doing because that's what's drawing her to you. If you change anything or do anything different right now, it will change the dynamic of the current situation which is working apparently. Don't pressure her about the boyfriend either. And, be careful too. What is going on between her and the boyfriend? Oh, sorry, I just caught up on the boyfriend You are in a precarious position here. It's hard for me not to be negative. She has some serious emotional issues to deal with. There is so much more to this than some kind of triangle. She and the boyfriend are dysfunctional. I would question her ability to be a good partner for you for the long term. 14 years with that man and you can see a ton of issues that may be brought into another relationship. You will likely be her counselor/therapist/father, etc. It will be a ton of "work" for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author dandyrandy Posted August 2, 2015 Author Share Posted August 2, 2015 The only thing you can "do" is sit back and let things progress naturally. Let her deal with the boyfriend and make whatever decision she needs to make. It's only been 3 months with you. The fact that she has an FWB and a boyfriend is, I'll say, odd. Does the boyfriend know about this? She may simply have you as an FWB for refuge from him on some level. Just keep doing whatever you've been doing because that's what's drawing her to you. If you change anything or do anything different right now, it will change the dynamic of the current situation which is working apparently. Don't pressure her about the boyfriend either. And, be careful too. What is going on between her and the boyfriend? Your the only one so far that has made any sense.. Thanks.. Well she explained it to me like this. She has only been in a relationship with this one guy every since she was 14. They broke up once but got back together and agreed instead of splitting up they would be swinger couple and date other people. They wanted this to gain more experience with other people but not break up. Link to post Share on other sites
Author dandyrandy Posted August 4, 2015 Author Share Posted August 4, 2015 Well we saw each other yesterday and we had a great time together. We usually meet up once a week on Monday so this was something planned and the boyfriend knew a head of time. He was cool with it but wanted her back by 1030 pm. Right before she left to come see me the boyfriend like always has one of his mental break downs. He hid her keys and locked her up in the house and forbid her from seeing me. This of course is nothing really new with her and her boyfriend. She finally got her key back because she threatened to be dead to him. She came to my place and we had a great time like we always do. While we were on our date she kept getting messages that he needs her and he is going to do something crazy. Well time flies when your having fun and she did not get back home till well after midnight. I was worried about her and messaged her about 2 am asking if everything is okay and she has not messaged me back. She is usually very good at messaging me back right away especially when I have a serious question. I am kind of worried at this point. Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted August 4, 2015 Share Posted August 4, 2015 I don't know, it's easy to fall in love with someone you're having sex with, it's just nature. But you should stay away from someone who has a girlfriend or boyfriend. You'll get burned that way. Link to post Share on other sites
LoveRefreshed Posted August 4, 2015 Share Posted August 4, 2015 Fool. She has a bf. I was there once, when I was 18. You're 33, you know better. If she'll cheat with you, she'll cheat on you. -OG somewhere. Link to post Share on other sites
Author dandyrandy Posted August 4, 2015 Author Share Posted August 4, 2015 There is a big problem I have noticed living in a small country place in the south. I have lived here for about 5 years and since there is not very many people here all the good women are taken and all the crazy horrible women with tons of problems are single. I cant find any legit single women around here that should not be admitted to an insane asylum. Link to post Share on other sites
LoveRefreshed Posted August 4, 2015 Share Posted August 4, 2015 move. move man. move. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted August 4, 2015 Share Posted August 4, 2015 There is a big problem I have noticed living in a small country place in the south. I have lived here for about 5 years and since there is not very many people here all the good women are taken and all the crazy horrible women with tons of problems are single. I cant find any legit single women around here that should not be admitted to an insane asylum. Relocate so you have better options, or be willing to get in your car and travel to a bigger populated area. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author dandyrandy Posted August 4, 2015 Author Share Posted August 4, 2015 I don't know, it's easy to fall in love with someone you're having sex with, it's just nature. But you should stay away from someone who has a girlfriend or boyfriend. You'll get burned that way. Well I have learned that its all bull crap.. All beautiful women especially the ones that have a lot going for them have something going on and some kind of relationship. None of the good ones are truly single. Link to post Share on other sites
Author dandyrandy Posted August 4, 2015 Author Share Posted August 4, 2015 Ill be honest people I am kinda worried about if something happened to her when she came back to her boyfriend after our date. The guy is legitimately crazy. I dont think he is full blown Hannibal Lecter but he abuses and tortures animals so he isnt far off from Buffalo Bill Silence of the Lambs status... Link to post Share on other sites
Author dandyrandy Posted August 5, 2015 Author Share Posted August 5, 2015 The boyfriend gave her an ultimatum. She either moves out or she stops talking to me. Link to post Share on other sites
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