Sera Posted March 20, 2001 Share Posted March 20, 2001 Just kidding... I just wanted to ask you to read my response to your response to my original post (?) titled what to do...how to proceed. It's quite far down in the posts & I didn't think you would have seen it. Thanks! Sera Link to post Share on other sites
Lauren Posted March 20, 2001 Share Posted March 20, 2001 Hi Sera, I know I'm not Laurynn, but maybe I can try to lend you a bit of advice. I don't know if this is your first long term relationship or not, but this is what a lot of women complain about after about 6 months of dating a guy. The first 3 - 6 months are so wonderful (the honeymoon phase), that by the 6th month they always wonder WHAT HAPPENED???? They were so wonderful and caring and thoughtful at first, now it's just not as great. A lot of guys will come on strong at first, and then they back off once they feel they have you and are comfortable in the relationship. It's the old cat and mouse game, though it's not a game that people realize they are playing. There are a few things to consider. Does he blow you off when you have plans and not call or does he call you, but just doesn't seem as enthused? If he blows you off, then he's inconsiderate and isn't a very good catch. In that case, in time you'll realize he's not worth the aggravation. If he calls (maybe not as much as you'd like- but still calls practically everyday) but to you, doesn't seem as interested, then that may be him just being comfortable. The fact that he's going to your hometown with you tells you he really cares for you - a lot. Especially if it requires traveling by plane and money for a plane ticket. A guy that doesn't like or really care about you would not go with you or waste his time. That's a big thing for a guy. Would you waste your time going to the hometown of a guy you didn't like? Think about the geek from highschool that drooled everytime he saw you. Would you spend money to fly out of state with him? Probably not. You'd only do that with a guy you really liked. My advice to you would be to back off. Give him space and play it cool. STop asking him if he still loves you - he's going to get annoyed and eventually turned off. Instead act smart and turn the tables back around again. You can do this by STOP ASKING HIM how he feels about you (see how long you can go w/o asking him). Stop calling him so much -even though you're going to want to pick up the phone -DON'T DO IT. Let him miss you. And stop being so available. THe guy sounds like he likes you -you have nothing to worry about. His feelings probably haven't changed. He's just secure with you, why don't you keep him on his toes again. He's the man and the hunter, so let him hunt. Remember back to when he chased you and you felt secure? He was doing all the work and you felt you didn't need to. Now it's reversed. You're doing all the work and he doesn't feel he needs to. Also, stop letting him know how insecure you're being (Big TURN OFF to both men and women). You'd probably be annoyed if he was constantly asking you if you loved him. You think at this moment you'd love it if he would, but eventually he'd be coming across as desparate after a while. If you can play it cool for at least one week, I promise you'll see the tables turn again. Try not calling him for a day. He'll probably wonder where his daily phone call is, and he'll call you wondering what you're doing. Give it a try and see what happens. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Laurynn Posted March 21, 2001 Share Posted March 21, 2001 Just kidding... I just wanted to ask you to read my response to your response to my original post (?) titled what to do...how to proceed. It's quite far down in the posts & I didn't think you would have seen it. Thanks! Sera Link to post Share on other sites
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