lauri Posted July 15, 2015 Share Posted July 15, 2015 I'm going to take everyones advice and go full NC. As far as Im concerned the relationship is over. I think it's good you're gonna end it and go NC. Seriously. With that said, once she is back and she calls you, this is the only time I would suggest breaking NC for ONE time. I would tell her it's over and ask her to politely not contact you ever again. Don't go into further detail then that and hang up. I think that even though she clearly is disrespecting you, I don't think you should stoop to a low level. In the meantime, don't respond or pick up any of her calls. Link to post Share on other sites
S_A Posted July 15, 2015 Share Posted July 15, 2015 I'm going to take everyones advice and go full NC. As far as Im concerned the relationship is over. That's the smart move. For those not aware (and it seems like a lot of you), if you're a young Jewish/Israeli girl or guy, and you're going to Israel, you're going to do some hard partying and screwing around. I'm not Jewish or Israeli, but even I know it has a great nightlife and a lot of attractive people who like to have sex. I'd wager that she has cheated. But even if she hasn't cheated, I'd still let her go. It does not sound like she wants to be in a relationship, so why convince her to stay with you? Save your time and energy for someone that does want to be with you. Link to post Share on other sites
ManyDissapoint Posted July 15, 2015 Share Posted July 15, 2015 You have been given a great gift in having the opportunity to dump her first and demonstrate your value of yourself. Even if she promised that nothing happened, could you ever trust her? Walk away and never look back. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted July 15, 2015 Share Posted July 15, 2015 And anytime you feel like you're about to break NC, post here first. people will be here to walk you through it and talk you out of it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kylej Posted July 15, 2015 Author Share Posted July 15, 2015 And anytime you feel like you're about to break NC, post here first. people will be here to walk you through it and talk you out of it. Yeah... she texted me "hi" this morning and Im considering responding to it. Maybe if I respond she'll explain her actions, or I guess she could say call me and break up with me there. I guess my fear is that if I dont respond she'll just assume its over and cause me more pain. I cant commit to blocking her on social media since we arent even officially broken up yet. idk Link to post Share on other sites
ravfour4 Posted July 15, 2015 Share Posted July 15, 2015 That hi is code for "I totally screwed up, but I know you'll forgive me right? " Link to post Share on other sites
Author kylej Posted July 15, 2015 Author Share Posted July 15, 2015 That hi is code for "I totally screwed up, but I know you'll forgive me right? " Lol thats not how I interpret it. More like, "Obviously you saw what I posted so want to break up now?" or something. Link to post Share on other sites
ravfour4 Posted July 15, 2015 Share Posted July 15, 2015 Just ignore it then, if she cares about you at all she'll text again and you have the right to ignore her when she's making it obvious that she may be cheating on you. Link to post Share on other sites
NopeNah Posted July 15, 2015 Share Posted July 15, 2015 Let her sweat. Don't respond. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted July 15, 2015 Share Posted July 15, 2015 Don't respond. Believe me, not responding to a text doesn't give anyone the right to assume that you're done with them soooo continue to cheat. Just stay NC. Start to work on you. Link to post Share on other sites
S_A Posted July 15, 2015 Share Posted July 15, 2015 Dude just don't respond and remove her from social media. It's not like you're cruely cutting her off (she knows why you would do it). You will heal better and quicker if you take the initiative. Don't wait in agony for her to come back only to kick you in the nuts by saying she slept with an Israeli guy named Nimrod. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted July 15, 2015 Share Posted July 15, 2015 Well, a couple of things will happen if he doesn't respond. It depends on her personality. If he doesn't respond to her "Hi" she could be busy with whoever and write it off as nothing. She'll try again later or maybe the texts didn't get through. OR! She's going to blast his phone today wondering why he's not responding and her paranoia will hit the roof, "Why isn't he responding? Is he mad? Does he know something? Did someone say something to him?" Thus, ruining her day. If you would have blocked her on social media, she DEFINITELY would be blowing up your phone because she would have been checking all social media to see if someone posted something they shouldn't have. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted July 15, 2015 Share Posted July 15, 2015 Yeah... she texted me "hi" this morning and Im considering responding to it. Maybe if I respond she'll explain her actions, or I guess she could say call me and break up with me there. I guess my fear is that if I dont respond she'll just assume its over and cause me more pain. I cant commit to blocking her on social media since we arent even officially broken up yet. idk What is it you're more afraid of here - breaking up or being caused pain? I still think you should take the high road until she gets back and you can handle things in a properly dignified manner, in person. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
lauri Posted July 15, 2015 Share Posted July 15, 2015 The fact that you are scared to cut her off means she still has the power over you and you don't have the ability to walk away. Is that the type of person you want to be with her? The truth is you do have the ability. There is better girls out there for you. Stop making decisions that would make her feel better about herself. By you responding and being there, she 1) loses respect for you and 2) thinks that you'll forgive her for what she did or thinks you'll turn a blind eye. Cmon man, you know deep down inside your gut is screaming at you what is going on...if it wasn't you wouldn't have posted here to seek validation of your feelings. Don't respond to her and don't talk to her until she is back. It'll actually drive her crazy and will ruin her trip. This means you're ruining her time with other men. Is that such a bad thing? Once she is back talk to her once and end things. Walk away and never look back. She's the one losing out, not you. Remember that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kylej Posted July 15, 2015 Author Share Posted July 15, 2015 The fact that you are scared to cut her off means she still has the power over you and you don't have the ability to walk away. Is that the type of person you want to be with her? The truth is you do have the ability. There is better girls out there for you. Stop making decisions that would make her feel better about herself. By you responding and being there, she 1) loses respect for you and 2) thinks that you'll forgive her for what she did or thinks you'll turn a blind eye. Cmon man, you know deep down inside your gut is screaming at you what is going on...if it wasn't you wouldn't have posted here to seek validation of your feelings. Don't respond to her and don't talk to her until she is back. It'll actually drive her crazy and will ruin her trip. This means you're ruining her time with other men. Is that such a bad thing? Once she is back talk to her once and end things. Walk away and never look back. She's the one losing out, not you. Remember that. You're right. I'm not responding or looking at her social media at least until she is back home, if ever. I guess I'll deal with that in a week. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kylej Posted July 15, 2015 Author Share Posted July 15, 2015 Here is the original post from last night. My girlfriend of 1 year is in Israel (3 week trip) right now with one of her single friends. They met a bunch of guys there and have been constantly hanging out with them. She started being distant and not texting or calling about a week into the trip, now 2 weeks into her trip she has told me she thinks she's "found herself" during this experience in Israel and hinted at breaking up but wants to talk in person. Right now she is drunk and posting photos with her arm around one guy and he grabbing her. I feel so lost and so hurt right now. How could she be so short sighted to throw away everything we had for one more week of fun in Israel, and be so selfish to at least make it look like shes cheating on me. After reading the responses in that thread I decided to go NC, and I havent been looking at her social media. Earlier this morning she messaged me, "hi" and I didnt respond. Just now, at 1 a.m. Israeli time, she messaged me, "do you wanna talk??". Do I keep no contact, answer and say "No need", or say "Sure"? Idk. You guys and girls have been super helpful so far, but I'm not sure what to do now. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
drallafi Posted July 15, 2015 Share Posted July 15, 2015 This is a good response, thank you. First of all, I can't say I'm sure she's cheating because I'd hope she wouldn't do something like that to me and I wouldn't think she would. However, earlier that day I asked if she wished she was single for the trip and she said "partly" which basically means theres people there she would hook up with. Also, she is drinking with these guys, and posted on Snapchat a story of him grabbing her harm and one with her arm around him sitting real close to each other. Also, I think her location on Find My Friends app is still in the same place it was when she was partying with these guys and it's 4am there. She is really flirty in general and she lets guys take advantage of her I'd put the odds on her hooking up with that guy at 85%. Most people telling me to end it now but then I know she will definitely sleep with this guy guilt free. Maybe thats selfish of me but whatever. I like the idea of waiting and then not giving her closure. After all the pain she's caused me I dont want to make it easy. My dude... Prepare yourself for this... She's cheating. Just accept it. It doesn't mean she's an awful person, it just means she's human and humans can sometimes be selfish. Anyway, forget about her and whatever guilt she will or won't have. The best thing you can do is whatever is best for YOU. And honestly, that's to cut her loose and start healing. Link to post Share on other sites
Grumpybutfun Posted July 15, 2015 Share Posted July 15, 2015 Just ignore it. She can explain when she gets home in person though her excuses will probably ring hollow for you since she behaved so immaturely and unkind while traveling. She is just making sure you are on the hook still. This contact is for her peace of mind, not yours. She ignored you until you ignored her which means she knows she behaved poorly. Good luck, Grumps 4 Link to post Share on other sites
mightycpa Posted July 15, 2015 Share Posted July 15, 2015 Here is the original post from last night. After reading the responses in that thread I decided to go NC, and I havent been looking at her social media. Earlier this morning she messaged me, "hi" and I didnt respond. Just now, at 1 a.m. Israeli time, she messaged me, "do you wanna talk??". Do I keep no contact, answer and say "No need", or say "Sure"? Idk. You guys and girls have been super helpful so far, but I'm not sure what to do now. Say nothing. You can wait another week. Don't give in. Remember, the first one who speaks loses. She's not talking. She's inviting you to speak. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
drallafi Posted July 15, 2015 Share Posted July 15, 2015 Here is the original post from last night. After reading the responses in that thread I decided to go NC, and I havent been looking at her social media. Earlier this morning she messaged me, "hi" and I didnt respond. Just now, at 1 a.m. Israeli time, she messaged me, "do you wanna talk??". Do I keep no contact, answer and say "No need", or say "Sure"? Idk. You guys and girls have been super helpful so far, but I'm not sure what to do now. It's going to be REALLY ****ing hard but NC is NC. The only contact you're ever going to have with this woman from here on is coordinating the exchange of whatever items were left at your respective residences. Just understand that NC is going to drive her nuts. She's going to do everything to "keep you on the hook" so to speak. It's going to be VERY hard for you to ignore it / her. Stay the course, remember how she treated you. You'll get through it. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author kylej Posted July 15, 2015 Author Share Posted July 15, 2015 It's going to be REALLY ****ing hard but NC is NC. The only contact you're ever going to have with this woman from here on is coordinating the exchange of whatever items were left at your respective residences. Just understand that NC is going to drive her nuts. She's going to do everything to "keep you on the hook" so to speak. It's going to be VERY hard for you to ignore it / her. Stay the course, remember how she treated you. You'll get through it. Thank you. You are right about it being hard. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
DexterLS Posted July 15, 2015 Share Posted July 15, 2015 Have you confirmed if she cheated or not? I don't know man. I would never have the strength to move on unless I knew my ex was cheating on me. Hell, even when I found out, I even tried to make it work. Based on what you posted, it looks like she is cheating/has cheated. The best thing to do here is to go strict NC although that is very hard to do at this point. All the best. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author kylej Posted July 15, 2015 Author Share Posted July 15, 2015 Have you confirmed if she cheated or not? I don't know man. I would never have the strength to move on unless I knew my ex was cheating on me. Hell, even when I found out, I even tried to make it work. Based on what you posted, it looks like she is cheating/has cheated. The best thing to do here is to go strict NC although that is very hard to do at this point. All the best. I never confirmed since I went NC only after seeing the pictures she posted. She stopped sharing her location with me this morning as well so I guess it doesnt really matter. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
drallafi Posted July 15, 2015 Share Posted July 15, 2015 Thank you. You are right about it being hard. If you can, I'd recommend going on a vacation of your own for the next week. I went full NC on an ex girlfriend back in 2001 and the only way I got through it (didn't respond to birthday, X-mas, or New Years txts) was because I was with a group of friends in New Orleans having a blast. Otherwise, I would have certainly succumbed to temptation. Surround yourself with activities and friends and don't stay idle. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author kylej Posted July 15, 2015 Author Share Posted July 15, 2015 If you can, I'd recommend going on a vacation of your own for the next week. I went full NC on an ex girlfriend back in 2001 and the only way I got through it (didn't respond to birthday, X-mas, or New Years txts) was because I was with a group of friends in New Orleans having a blast. Otherwise, I would have certainly succumbed to temptation. Surround yourself with activities and friends and don't stay idle. I'm trying to go visit a friend but right now I'm home for the summer from college with no car, and most of my friends are busy or out of town so I'm kind of forced to stay idle. :/ 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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