DKT3 Posted July 21, 2015 Share Posted July 21, 2015 I want to know on what planet is going behind you SO back dating kissing and becoming emotionally involved with another not cheating? OP this "NEW" relationship is a 1000k train ride on 500k of tracks. BOOOOM Link to post Share on other sites
Perrier Posted July 21, 2015 Share Posted July 21, 2015 He said it is because after 10 years, kids, etc, they were no longer compatible. They have been permanently separated since at least 2012, but never got divorced. It is really fun to go drinking and eating with him, and we have excellent rapport and can talk and laugh about anything. I'm just not sure how everything will turn out. Is 3 years long enough to be considered permanently seperated? Why don't they divorce? OP he is a grown up, mature and experienced man who may be taking advantage of your naivety. I'm not surprised your parents would not be happy with this setup. Him moving into yours was a major red flag and not something someone of his calibre and standing should be doing, especially so early. Why doesn't he get his own place? Does he earn pennies or what? Do you know what his long term plans (heck even short term) are with you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author arabellakumar Posted July 21, 2015 Author Share Posted July 21, 2015 Is 3 years long enough to be considered permanently seperated? Why don't they divorce? OP he is a grown up, mature and experienced man who may be taking advantage of your naivety. I'm not surprised your parents would not be happy with this setup. Him moving into yours was a major red flag and not something someone of his calibre and standing should be doing, especially so early. Why doesn't he get his own place? Does he earn pennies or what? Do you know what his long term plans (heck even short term) are with you? They did not divorce because they are still business partners in a restaurant they started together and own a house jointly together. His parents paid for the house he lives in back in the 1970's, but the house is deeded to him and his ex-wife. He moved into my apartment because our workplace is only 3 miles from my apartment, whereas his house is 40 miles away. Plus we see each other all day at work, and spend time with each after work, so it was more convenient this way. He makes 72k a year but he has to pay for his kids' private school, liens against him, credit card debts, and other costs. Since I get paid hourly, I figured that since he okays any hours that I work and I get to leave or do whatever I want at work, then that is fine that I pay for the rent for my apartment. But we still take turns paying when we go out. The 21 year age difference does not seem that bad because we get along really well. I could definitely see myself marrying him and him me. Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted July 21, 2015 Share Posted July 21, 2015 The 21 year age difference does not seem that bad because we get along really well. I could definitely see myself marrying him and him me. You are SIX WEEKS into a relationship with someone and are projecting marriage? This does not bode well - especially since he is THREE YEARS into a "separation" and isn't even divorced. OP, here is the crux of the situation: You have Half-Baked Brain Syndrome. Seriously, the frontal cortex of your brain - that area that enables you to make intelligent decisions - won't even completely attach until you are in your late 20s. Read the article, please. There is a reason your parents are upset - as well they should be. By the time you are thirty years old, you will look back on this and realize how insane you are acting. Link to post Share on other sites
Amalyn Posted July 21, 2015 Share Posted July 21, 2015 Well it's a secret relationship because he is my direct supervisor, and I report only to him. Also, my parents would never approve of this relationship if they knew. They do suspect because my ex-fiance brought it up to them. In all honesty, OP, do you think this relationship will work long term? Now you've said your parents do not approve. I think you should think this through Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted July 21, 2015 Share Posted July 21, 2015 OP, here is the crux of the situation: You have Half-Baked Brain Syndrome. Seriously, the frontal cortex of your brain - that area that enables you to make intelligent decisions - won't even completely attach until you are in your late 20s. Arabella is already 28 years old. The age gap is 21 years, hence the older man is 49. I honestly do not think it would matter if the OP was 48 and the age gap was only one year, the ridiculousness of the situation would be no less. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted July 22, 2015 Share Posted July 22, 2015 Arabella is already 28 years old. The age gap is 21 years, hence the older man is 49. Thanks for the clarification, Elaine. You are right on both accounts. Link to post Share on other sites
Author arabellakumar Posted July 23, 2015 Author Share Posted July 23, 2015 I don't want to think too much about the future, I want to just enjoy the day to day. Let's see where this goes because I adore the companionship. Link to post Share on other sites
Perrier Posted July 24, 2015 Share Posted July 24, 2015 They did not divorce because they are still business partners in a restaurant they started together and own a house jointly together. His parents paid for the house he lives in back in the 1970's, but the house is deeded to him and his ex-wife. He moved into my apartment because our workplace is only 3 miles from my apartment, whereas his house is 40 miles away. Plus we see each other all day at work, and spend time with each after work, so it was more convenient this way. He makes 72k a year and he can't pay any rent? What was he doing before he moved in with you? since he okays any hours that I work and I get to leave or do whatever I want at work, then that is fine that I pay for the rent for my apartment. Is him signing whatever hours you work reason to trade your freedom? You're right the situation is convenient. He is benefiting big time from you. Link to post Share on other sites
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