SammySammy Posted July 13, 2015 Posted July 13, 2015 Flirting? Once or twice a day. Openly approached? Once or twice per week.
hudson701 Posted July 13, 2015 Posted July 13, 2015 Twice. Women don't do this. Even though they should. There is zero reason not to other than they don't need to. fixed that for you.
2.50 a gallon Posted July 13, 2015 Posted July 13, 2015 I was never in the top 10 percent: 5'6', 130 pounds, and just average looks. However, I did learn how to talk to women. Before I retired, meaning pre-60's, I was approached quite often. Now that I am retired, oddly enough it still happens, though the number of times is way down. But still happens about once a year. Two examples: My neighborhood grocery store, had a cute 30 something English gal that took a shine to me. Almost every time, I went thru her line, without my girl friend, she always had a new off color joke she had to share. She invited me over to her place several times over the years, to dine on Bangers, an English meal. A couple of years back while standing in a long line at the same grocery store, there were a couple of 20 somethings in front of me, each with a 12 pack. The one had an interesting tattoo on her shoulder, when I asked her about it, she told me how it was for her deceased mom. From there the conversation went to 70's and 80's music, Fleetwood Mac, Bob Seager, etc. And how I had lived thru the Flower Child era. Next thing I know they invited me over to listen to music and straight out wanted to have a three some with me. 1
gaius Posted July 13, 2015 Posted July 13, 2015 I'm a guy. And I've been approached by lots of men (I'm not gay though). One is a composer of sorts and performs at the Disney Concert Hall in Los Angeles (he's quirky and a much older dude). He was totally gay. I was also approached by a pretty manly truck driver (looked more like a pedophile). Dude, even if I was a desperately horny homosexual I am sure I would have said no. This guy was desperate and was practically begging me to go to a motel with him. Another time I was "approached" by a manly construction worker. It was in my dad's shop in my very early twenties. I gave him a credit card receipt to sign for his purchase and he hands it back to me. Then he takes it back and says: "oh wait, I forgot to write my phone number on it." I get it back from him and I took a look at the credit card receipt because I could have sworn there was never any phone number field. I look at it and say "oh, you're phone number wasn't needed actually." Then he smiles and I kid you not... I saw his eye twinkle like in those old school romantic movies. I thought "wtf"! Then he says something like "if you ever want to go out some time" and blah blah... I tried to respond to that and I think I must have set a stutter record. I think after about 30 seconds of stuttering I was able to squeeze out a "sorry" or something. Too bad though... he was actually a very good lookin' dude and could have made some chick happy. -1 for ladies. A year or two ago I was in a chipotle and black guy (who was a dwarf) told me he'd like to handcuff himself to me and slap the s**t out of me. He said it'd be an amazing night. He gave me his number but I never called him back. This was in Hollywood and I got this vibe from him like he had a white boy fetish. He was an actual dwarf btw; like half my height. If you keep going flacid for your girlfriend because you're "way too into her" and gay guys are all over you then they've probably just figured out what you don't want to admit to yourself yet. =/ I get approached a bit online but not usually much in person. Maybe a couple times a year. I usually have an f off vibe when I'm out and don't go to parties or events made for socializing really. Almost always get a good reaction when I decide to put on the charm and approach myself though. 2
Keenly Posted July 13, 2015 Posted July 13, 2015 fixed that for you. Then they Can settle for whatever comes their way instead of searching for whatever they are looking for.
Toodaloo Posted July 13, 2015 Posted July 13, 2015 4 now today so far;) Make it 5 But no alley as of yet. And I will throw you an alley offer as long as it leads to a pub with a decent pint! 1
Grumpybutfun Posted July 13, 2015 Posted July 13, 2015 Any and all I guess... LOL, sex in an alley...ewww... Well, i did have sex at the Shrine or Remembrance after I cold approached the ONLY GIRL IN THE ARCADE PARLOUR. Memories, that was decades ago... Oh, I was a virgin....dressed badly as I was supposed to be working that night....miracles DO happen. Reminds me of this: Maybe things were different when I was a teen/young adult but I was approached quite a bit by women for various flirting, dating and even sex occasionally. It was back in the stone ages so maybe young women were bolder then. Off topic....is the Shrine of Remembrance in Sydney? Anzac related? Best, G
Phoe Posted July 13, 2015 Posted July 13, 2015 Twice. Women don't do this. Even though they should. There is zero reason not to other than they are afraid. Oh Keenly, you know that many men here instill it in women's minds that approaching a man is the most heinously unattractive thing any woman could do! (but yes it is scary, haha!)
Keenly Posted July 13, 2015 Posted July 13, 2015 Oh Keenly, you know that many men here instill it in women's minds that approaching a man is the most heinously unattractive thing any woman could do! (but yes it is scary, haha!) Hell yeah its scary! My palms get sweaty when I go to the bank and Realize I'm going to end up with the teller I have a small crush on. But I hate the whole hiding from it by calling it something else thing. If you're too chicken to talk to the guy, don't claim that " the man should always approach " What I hear is " I don't know how to go after what I want " 2
preraph Posted July 13, 2015 Posted July 13, 2015 I'm a guy. And I've been approached by lots of men (I'm not gay though). One is a composer of sorts and performs at the Disney Concert Hall in Los Angeles (he's quirky and a much older dude). He was totally gay. I was also approached by a pretty manly truck driver (looked more like a pedophile). Dude, even if I was a desperately horny homosexual I am sure I would have said no. This guy was desperate and was practically begging me to go to a motel with him. Another time I was "approached" by a manly construction worker. It was in my dad's shop in my very early twenties. I gave him a credit card receipt to sign for his purchase and he hands it back to me. Then he takes it back and says: "oh wait, I forgot to write my phone number on it." I get it back from him and I took a look at the credit card receipt because I could have sworn there was never any phone number field. I look at it and say "oh, you're phone number wasn't needed actually." Then he smiles and I kid you not... I saw his eye twinkle like in those old school romantic movies. I thought "wtf"! Then he says something like "if you ever want to go out some time" and blah blah... I tried to respond to that and I think I must have set a stutter record. I think after about 30 seconds of stuttering I was able to squeeze out a "sorry" or something. Too bad though... he was actually a very good lookin' dude and could have made some chick happy. -1 for ladies. A year or two ago I was in a chipotle and black guy (who was a dwarf) told me he'd like to handcuff himself to me and slap the s**t out of me. He said it'd be an amazing night. He gave me his number but I never called him back. This was in Hollywood and I got this vibe from him like he had a white boy fetish. He was an actual dwarf btw; like half my height. You must be putting out a lot of vibes, Dude. Sounds like you need an emergency style makeover to end the carnage!
preraph Posted July 13, 2015 Posted July 13, 2015 I'm a woman and I used to approach guys all the time, but never to just proposition them. Just to talk to them or flirt. The most overt thing I ever did was lean over on my way to the ladies room and tell a guy who was flirting with a waitress I was sick of "You can do better." And then I kind of did this juvenile salivation all over what turned out to be a gay guy when I was real young. But by and large, I just go up and meet a guy I think might be interesting in more than one way. I never went out of my way to talk to guys who were attractive unless they were also from my field of interest (music, art, animals). But if a woman is bothering to just talk to you and is curious, that is your best sign of interest you're going to get from most of them because if women ask you out, you're mostly going to treat her as a "sure thing" or worse. So pay attention to the ones who just bother to talk to you at all when in a situation that does not require them to. Now, here's what happened when I kept running into this extremely good looking guy who, however, wasn't my type. He was a poster boy for a radio station. Kept seeing him at functions from across the room. Didn't like his style, but he was classically good looking. So we ended up right next to each other at another promotion, to close to avoid just saying hi to each other, and I got mouthy and said (having seen a poster of him climbing out of a pool) -- mutual introductions -- then I popped off "The last time I saw you, you were dripping wet," to which he responded, "Well, ONE of us was dripping wet." So you see how those things can go downhill in a hurry for a girl. 2
Mrin Posted July 13, 2015 Posted July 13, 2015 How often I get approached by women I think are flirting with me: weekly How often I get approached by women who are actually flirting with me: maybe once a month 3
S_A Posted July 13, 2015 Posted July 13, 2015 Gay guys like guys who take very good care of themselves. You must be doing something right! Most of the time I am in a suit. If you keep going flacid for your girlfriend because you're "way too into her" That's a big f***ing if. Bold assumption there buddy. You must be putting out a lot of vibes, Dude. Sounds like you need an emergency style makeover to end the carnage! Pretty sure I don't need a makeover. I'm pretty tall and have pretty broad shoulders. There probably isn't anything I could wear that would make me appear feminine (I'm assuming by makeover you are referring to changing the wardrobe). Back on topic... I was "approached" by a girl I went to high school with. So it wasn't a cold approach as we knew each other pretty well. She hit on me after we left high school (we were in our early 20's). I actually had a crush on her but I had to turn her down. I did not explain to her why and feel like an a**hole for it to this very day. What she did took major guts and I should have given her the real reason so that she would not feel humiliated. One of my biggest regrets in life.
preraph Posted July 13, 2015 Posted July 13, 2015 Maybe things were different when I was a teen/young adult but I was approached quite a bit by women for various flirting, dating and even sex occasionally. It was back in the stone ages so maybe young women were bolder then. Off topic....is the Shrine of Remembrance in Sydney? Anzac related? Best, G I'm from the stoned ages too, but what I think is actually happening is nobody is approaching anybody because they all have their noses in their smartphones most of the time and aren't even taking in their surroundings. 3
jen1447 Posted July 13, 2015 Posted July 13, 2015 Oh Keenly, you know that many men here instill it in women's minds that approaching a man is the most heinously unattractive thing any woman could do! (but yes it is scary, haha!) If you were single I'd take you out sometime and eliminate all the scary Ms. Phoe.
S_A Posted July 13, 2015 Posted July 13, 2015 If you were single I'd take you out sometime and eliminate all the scary Ms. Phoe. Doubt it! You'd take her out regardless.
jen1447 Posted July 13, 2015 Posted July 13, 2015 Well in this case I mean show her the ropes of 'approaching' (still find that word odd in this context) and make her into a fearless approaching machine. (Phoe would have a lot of luck absent the nerves bc she's gorgeous.) That's if she was single and looking to approach guys to begin with.
DaisyBug Posted July 13, 2015 Posted July 13, 2015 Don't make it a conversation that will be interpreted as friendly banter. Funny you should say this. I've struck up some innocent conversations where the guy will start dropping his wife into the conversation, which makes me think they're trying to hint, "in case you want me, I'm taken." Ha. So, I'd say even this works, even if that's not the woman's intention. 1
preraph Posted July 13, 2015 Posted July 13, 2015 ^ I agree being "just friendly" is fine for first approach. There's plenty of time to amp it up the person seems interested in you the next time you run into them. I like just being casual and friendly and interested because most people react positively simply that you're interested in something about them. So talking about something they're doing (their job, their craft, their style, their hair, whatever) will interest them if they are not just completely tuned out or turned off by appearance, and no one has done anything to get rejected yet. It's a first step. The next step is if they seem to reciprocate interest in any way, step it up and be a little more personal or flirty. And as Daisy illustrated, there's no shame in her just being friendly and then him making sure she knows he's taken. After all, this will be the first thing you'll want to know about a man or woman, and by finding out by just being casual, well, there's no harm, no foul, no embarrassment.
Author danmillar Posted July 13, 2015 Author Posted July 13, 2015 Not to hijack this thread or anything, but since you bring this up, how exactly does a guy like to be approached? The less ambiguity there is, the more likely your approach is to be successful. However, in order to reduce ambiguity, you have to be more direct. In order to be more direct, you will need to increase your discomfort level. Also, the longer you stay, the more likely you are to be successful.
Author danmillar Posted July 13, 2015 Author Posted July 13, 2015 Depends on what you mean by approached. A couple weeks ago, I had two random, attractive women start conversations with me. They both happened on the same day. Since then, pretty much nothing. I leave it up to each person to define what it means to be approached. There is no one exact definition.
DaisyBug Posted July 13, 2015 Posted July 13, 2015 (edited) The less ambiguity there is, the more likely your approach is to be successful. However, in order to reduce ambiguity, you have to be more direct. In order to be more direct, you will need to increase your discomfort level. Also, the longer you stay, the more likely you are to be successful. Thanks, Dan. For the record, I'm not so much asking HOW to approach a man as I am what a man prefers. I would imagine almost any approach would work, if the guy is attracted to her. What gives a guy the best impression, I should say? Simply being forward? I'm also not talking about "picking up" but to show interest in a way that gets the guy to think, "Wow, she seems like someone I'd really like to get to know." Edited July 13, 2015 by DaisyBug
Grumpybutfun Posted July 13, 2015 Posted July 13, 2015 Oh Keenly, you know that many men here instill it in women's minds that approaching a man is the most heinously unattractive thing any woman could do! (but yes it is scary, haha!) Phoe, I loved it. I thought it was sexy and independent and I had huge respect for women who were confident to do so. G 1
Author danmillar Posted July 13, 2015 Author Posted July 13, 2015 Thanks, Dan. For the record, I'm not so much asking HOW to approach a man as I am what a man prefers. I would imagine almost any approach would work, if the guy is attracted to her. What gives a guy the best impression, I should say? Simply being forward? I'm also not talking about "picking up" but to show interest in a way that gets the guy to think, "Wow, she seems like someone I'd really like to get to know." You can't really get a guy to think something in particular. The longer you stay with the approach, and the friendlier you are, the higher your chances of success.
carhill Posted July 13, 2015 Posted July 13, 2015 I leave it up to each person to define what it means to be approached. There is no one exact definition. That's a good point, as we each define the word for ourselves. My definition is: If a stranger, the lady approaches me and initiates a conversation without any cues from myself. If not a stranger, the lady approaches and engages me in a flirtatious manner either obviously different than prior platonic behaviors and/or being sexual in body language. As an example from real life, a friend's wife bending over and showing me a whole eyeful of unrestrained cleavage while smiling at me. No way I could construe that as non-sexual.
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