amaysngrace Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 If we walk he drinks. If we drive he doesn't. So yes I would. Link to post Share on other sites
loveweary11 Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 You are talking about drinking alcohol, aren't you? I've never heard anyone say that drinking alcohol isn't fun. In fact I think that's one of the reasons people like to drink it so much. Ha ha ha. I was a heavy drinker my whole life. I come from an extended family where we put down cases of wine at family gatherings. I did plenty of keg stands, played all the drinking games, went out 5 nights a week in college, drank heavily on weekends as an adult like OP. When I met my non drinking ex, drinking became boring because I wouldn't want to drink without her. We were basically 100% drinking and drug free while together... 12 years. I started drinking pretty heavily after my divorce again. It was kind of fun, but then really didn't sit well with my body anymore. I could feel the unhealthy aspect. Now that my mind has finally stabilized again, I have stopped drinking once again. It just doesn't feel healthy. I love a nice beer like once every week or two or would even split a bottle of wine with a girl, but I have no desire to drink anymore. (meaning get drunk). To blow off steam, I've been smoking free weed I had sent to me by a weed enthusiast I know. Maybe do that once a week or less to slow my stress down while at an extremely difficult point in life, professionally. Once the boat launches, I'm throwing that away too, due to harsh federal regulations regarding controlled substances on the water... plus... a lot of stress will be gone, so won't have a need for it. Being on a boat permanently is it's own high. Link to post Share on other sites
veggirl Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 When I met my bf he was a non drinker and I was definitely a drinker. It did give me pause when he told me, but I liked him so much so I moved forward anyway. He has drank during our relationship, currently he doesn't. It's fine. In the beginning I would not drink around him, but now I don't care...if I want a drink I'll have one, he doesn't care. As long as you aren't judgemental about her drinking (assuming its within reason) then I think you should be fine. I think people who drink just worry a sober person will judge them if they drink on occassion or happen to drink too much one night. Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 I quit drinking a few months ago and want to start dating again. I used to always go for drinks on dates, but not sure how to approach it now. Do I tell her I no longer drink in the beginning? Tell her i'm taking a break? Meet up at a bar anyway and order a non-alcoholic drink? I just feel like a girl into wine and beer, won't want to date me. After all, drinking together is kind of a bonding experience. I've dated two guys who didn't drink. It never posed a problem. It never posed a problem because it wasn't like they cared if I drank or were judgmental about it, and I respected their choice and didn't try to force it on them. If we went out I'd order an alcoholic beverage if I wanted to and they would order something non-alcoholic and that was that. It caused no interruption in our night. I have one friend who really loves to drink and said she wouldn't date a man who didn't drink, but majority of women I'd wager won't care. I don't. So I'm sure it's possible to date someone who drinks even when you don't. However, if you're a recovering alcoholic then maybe sticking to women who don't drink will be better for your sobriety, however if it's just a case of choosing to not drink but it's not a addiction problem, then it's less of a big deal and you can go out and just casually say "I'm not much of a drinker but feel free..." and she can order her wine and you can order a coke and focus on other things. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
fitnessfan365 Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 I don't drink. I am very into health/fitness and the taste of alcohol has just never done anything for me. But I do want to stress that I could care less if people drink in front of me. It's funny though. Being a non drinker has been a problem for some of the women that I meet. I've personally never seen the big deal myself. However, it's a deal breaker for some. Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 I'm not much of a drinker but I enjoy a glass of wine or beer occasionally. I met a guy who didn't seem taken with the fact that I didn't drink much (he kept asking, "You don't drink do you?), and he was a brandy lover. I was speaking to a man who drinks only water, no tea, chocolate, or coffee, and no alcohol. He made a point that regardless of where we go he would order water. 'Fraid to say he didn't appeal to me and I left it. Nothing wrong with his choices, I simply feel someone like that is over restrained or will be judgemental. I just don't think a healthy lifestyle choices are behind that. Perrier, one of my best friends only drinks water. She is super cool and sweet and never stops anyone else from drinking if they want to. I think she would be really hurt to think that people wouldn't want to be her friend because she doesn't drink. Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 I don't drink. I am very into health/fitness and the taste of alcohol has just never done anything for me. But I do want to stress that I could care less if people drink in front of me. It's funny though. Being a non drinker has been a problem for some of the women that I meet. I've personally never seen the big deal myself. However, it's a deal breaker for some. It can expose insecurity or inhibitions since the drinker is at risk of getting into a condition that could make them look bad while the non-drinker is guaranteed not to. (From drunkeness anyway.) Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 Didn't we go down this road a couple of months ago? For me it's a compatibility thing because beer is an important part of my life, just as bacon is, so for me it's a deal breaker....non drinker and vegan are a no go. Link to post Share on other sites
mr_dave Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 If you're not an alcoholic, and you really didn't have any problems when it comes to drinking, my question, why did you quit drinking? That one really puzzles me, and I'm guessing it would puzzle most people who like to drink. I can tell you that being someone who likes to drink, I don't consider dating people who abstain from alcohol. Because if they're abstaining from alcohol for reasons of prudence or principle or whatever, there also not likely to let go in other areas of their life, like sex. Here's what it comes down to. If you don't have a problem with alcohol then by all means drink. Do it in some level of moderation, but for God's sake, drink. If you really do have a problem, then don't drink with as much conviction. If you've decided to abstain from alcohol for reasons of principle then you're a prude. And that's cool. The world needs prudes. But prudes should only date other prudes. I hope that answers your question. I don't really drink at all, apart from the occasional amaretto. That's the only drink I like the taste of. Alcohol makes me sleepy, negatively affects my mood (I'm quite relaxed enough as it is, thanks), is bad for my wallet and doesn't really help my conditioning. I don't really get why you're imploring people to drink, just because you do? I live in England, and absolutely everything here revolves around getting trolleyed. Isn't there more to life than that? I dated a girl recently who had a lot going for her (Oxford educated, beautiful, intelligent etc) but her drinking really put me off. If people socialise with each other and during that time they have a few wines / beer etc, fine, I can understand that. But this girl would always talk about "smashing some wine in" or "getting slaughtered" - eyes lighting up as she would talk about the dozen or so shots she pre-drank before she actually went out! The emphasis isn't on the time spent chatting with their friends, but on the alcohol consumption. When I asked her why she drank so much she said "Because I hate being around drunk people, so if I'm wasted I don't really care/notice, and enjoy the night out" It just all seems so vacuous. I've lost count of the amount of online dating profiles I've skipped past because the women in question list cocktails as being one of their primary interests. I holidayed in Sicily recently and at night time it was wonderful, Italian people of all ages ( from two to eighty two) piling onto the streets until 2am, not a hint of menace or rowdiness, young adults in their smartest clothes having ice creams or pastries together, or sipping wine in an enoteca. Contrast that with here... one thing the lower echelons of society here have in common, (the thugs spoiling for a fight etc) is that they can all be found out in town at night. People puking up, fighting, swearing, women defecating between parked cars.. why would I want to spend my free time anywhere near people like that? The only people you see out in the street after 9 are people drinking. If you're in good company, having a laugh and great conversation, then what does it matter whether you or your friends are consuming water or vodka? Or do you actually need alcohol to have fun? I wouldn't date anyone who does... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
crude Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 Drinkers and teetotalers don't mix. I've been at parties where I've literally been asked 20 times to drink. They come in waves. How many times can I tell people I don't like the taste and have them come back with a desperate last attempt "then try this berry vodka cooler, it doesn't taste like alcohol". Why do I HAVE to drink alcohol, it's fattening and unnecessary for me, but drinkers insist and never stop, so it's best not to get too close to them. It's a dating or friendship dealbreaker. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Diezel Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 Absolutely not. Link to post Share on other sites
lollipopspot Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 I have maybe a couple drinks a week when it's warm out. In the fall and winter I don't usually drink at all, or very seldom, because I like cold alcohol drinks. If I'm at a party and someone offers me a drink, I'll take it, might not drink the whole thing though. It's a complete nonissue to me if my guy doesn't drink. Alcohol is not a big issue to me. If someone said I could never drink again, I'd be fine with it. I don't care what anyone else drinks or doesn't, as long as I don't have to be around them when they're drunk and they don't drive drunk. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
fitnessfan365 Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 Drinkers and teetotalers don't mix. I've been at parties where I've literally been asked 20 times to drink. They come in waves. How many times can I tell people I don't like the taste and have them come back with a desperate last attempt "then try this berry vodka cooler, it doesn't taste like alcohol". Why do I HAVE to drink alcohol, it's fattening and unnecessary for me, but drinkers insist and never stop, so it's best not to get too close to them. It's a dating or friendship dealbreaker. Good post. This is a pet peeve of mine as well. I don't care if a woman I'm dating drinks or if people in general drink in front of me. All I ask is that they respect that I don't. The constant attempts to get you to drink is annoying. I have to deal with it every year at family functions and I think one of my brother's main goals is to see me get drunk..LOL Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 I am not a drinker either...however, when I am out with others socializing.... and offered a drink, I will accept it and then sort of nurse it, sipping it veeerrrrryyyyyy slowly.... so as not to cause drama and have to explain myself a zillion times to people. Works for me.... Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 Just don't make a big issue of it. Wherever you go, you can order a nonalcoholic drink. Now, the real issue is whether you can enjoy being around someone who is drunk when you are not -- because although I used to drink way too much, I didn't like being around drunk people unless I was too. It gets old fast and may cause a lifestyle clash. But even when I drank like a fish, I also had months at a time I was dieting and not drinking at all and still went out with people. Just didn't make an issue of it. Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 Just don't make a big issue of it. Wherever you go, you can order a nonalcoholic drink. Now, the real issue is whether you can enjoy being around someone who is drunk when you are not -- because although I used to drink way too much, I didn't like being around drunk people unless I was too. It gets old fast and may cause a lifestyle clash. But even when I drank like a fish, I also had months at a time I was dieting and not drinking at all and still went out with people. Just didn't make an issue of it. The people I associate with love to drink....but DON'T necessarily get drunk. A slight buzz sure....maybe that's what you meant? When I think of drunk I think of slurring words, not being able to walk, etc. NO ONE, even those who DO drink don't enjoy hanging with people in that state. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 Ok why are we getting off track here....the thread is "DRINKERS....would you date a person that doesn't drink alcohol. Not "what's your pet peeve about drinking or drinkers". Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 You don't have to explain anything, you just say you don't drink Alcohol if asked but really all you have to do is turn it down and order something non-alcoholic, most of the time it goes unnoticed. I haven't had a drink since June 28th 1987 and have gone on many many dates and been married twice since I quit and I have NEVER had anybody look at me funny for not ordering a drink that had alcohol in it. If they have a problem with it then it's their problem not mine or yours.. cuz I ain't drinking ... today I also never minded if my dates had drinks, my wife has the occasional glass of wine and it doesn't bother me.. of course I also don't want to drink..if I did want a drink and it bothered me it would be a red flag for me to get my butt in a meeting or call my sponsor. very well said 1 Link to post Share on other sites
xcupid Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 There's nothing wrong with having a non-alcoholic drink. And yes, I would date someone who doesn't drink. And I would date someone who drinks occasionally. Heavy drinkers, no. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ASG Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 I think people who drink just worry a sober person will judge them if they drink on occassion or happen to drink too much one night. Yeah, this is my main issue. My ex judged me if I had more than one drink... And I admit that I am a heavy drinker, but I drink irregularly. It is very much linked to work and I avoid drinking at home on my own, as it's just not as fun. Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted July 8, 2015 Share Posted July 8, 2015 its not easy to be with a drinker when you dont drink......most of the horrible times i remember quite clearly have happened to me,have happened with and by drunk men......personally i dotn want to date soemoen who drinks.... i think theres a divide that happens when people drink and a separation from people who dont drink....i remember a guy offered to buy me a drink when i went out dancing and when i said i dont drink he called me a weak bitch dotn eb stuck up and come on have a drink......and another time when i went out dancing i was drinking water and a guy thought i had no money and offered to buy me a drink...he was being nice though so I thanked him and still said no..... i notice that i get pressured to drink quite a bit by drinkers....and i find it at times disrespectful......i think if you are going to date a non drinker you have to have as much respect for personal choice as they do for you..and honestly...its hard to date a drinker from a non drinker point of view when pressure to drink is what is felt.........deb.... Link to post Share on other sites
TunaCat Posted July 8, 2015 Share Posted July 8, 2015 The reasons that I don't drink are twofold. One, I'm on medication that can react badly to alcohol, and two, I just don't like the taste. Never have. I don't mind dating someone who drinks socially, who knows when to stop and always has a DD in mind. I have a friend who was in a drunk driving accident as a baby and she is paralyzed from the waist down because of the guys in the other car who were driving erratically because they were inebriated. I don't believe that you have to drink alcohol in order to have fun. I think that's beyond insane and total BS. Some people may think I'm pretty picky about this, but as I stated above, I have a friend whose life changed forever when she was only 7 months old. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gary S Posted July 8, 2015 Share Posted July 8, 2015 I don't know.... let me have a drink and I'll think about it! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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