Author yxalitis Posted July 8, 2015 Author Posted July 8, 2015 No, not talking about religion at all, just that if I went all atheist and it turned out I was wrong, I'd feel pretty crappy about all the people I felt superior to and tried to dissuade, especially since sometimes (unfortunately) that's all some people have to keep them from completely losing it. Ah, gotcha!
jen1447 Posted July 8, 2015 Posted July 8, 2015 Just thinking that would be a boring party... I'm afraid it'd be too exciting actually - room full of ppl with axes to grind, constantly grinding away w/hair triggers and ready to do quasi-philosophical battle at the drop of a hat. The put-on superiority would also drive me nuts after a while. 2
Author yxalitis Posted July 8, 2015 Author Posted July 8, 2015 I'm afraid it'd be too exciting actually - room full of ppl with axes to grind, constantly grinding away w/hair triggers and ready to do quasi-philosophical battle at the drop of a hat. The put-on superiority would also drive me nuts after a while. -I prefer parties with a different type of grinding-
Author yxalitis Posted July 8, 2015 Author Posted July 8, 2015 (edited) Hmm, I do listen to Gary Numan, who spent the past decade telling the world how he lost religion... His awesome album Exile, rams home that message. GARY NUMAN LYRICS - Dominion Day GARY NUMAN LYRICS - Exile http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/garynuman/prophecy.html http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/garynuman/theangelwars.html And from his Pure album, mourning the loss of his unborn daughter: So, I prayed But you weren't listening. Making miracles? So, I begged But you were far away. Saving souls perhaps? So, I screamed But she was very small And you have worlds to mend So, she died And you were glorious But you were somewhere else If you are my shepherd Then I'm lost and no-one can find me If you are my saviour Then I'm dead and no-one can help me If you are my glory Then I'm sick and no-one can cure me If you light my darkness Then I'm blind and no-one can see me If you are my father Then love lies abandoned and bleeding If you are my comfort Then nightmares are real and deceiving If you are my answer Then I must have asked the wrong question I'd spit on your heaven If I could find one to believe in Probably best to listen to them in my car...alone...huh? Edited July 8, 2015 by yxalitis
Author yxalitis Posted July 8, 2015 Author Posted July 8, 2015 And a beautiful love song, amongst that lot:
umirano Posted July 8, 2015 Posted July 8, 2015 This is one of those fruitless intellectual wanks that people who "know what that word really means" use to sound intelligent, when in fact it just makes them sound pretentious. Yes that's how the word: "Agnostic" is technically defined. But, whether right or wrong, most people take the term to mean: "I'm not saying God is real, I'm saying I don't know." That is a bee's dick difference in meaning, you really think that's worth arguing about? Words have a meaning. I think a discussion is greatly improved by using expressions correctly. In this particular case I worry that the misuse of a word only had one purpose - to downplay the actual difference in your worldview from hers. If you're here to look for encouragement and backpatting on dating a Christian from an evangelizing church - and that's what it looks to me like from their website - then I have nothing to offer to you. If on the other hand you're interested in long-term perspectives of dating a staunch believer I have personal experience to share. This belief has driven a wedge into many families. In my own family it wasn't until the evangelizing was directed at the skeptical partner's relatives. The fact that you likely won't have to deal with all the questions around raising children certainly simplifies things. There are other big questions though that open the door to all sorts of religious claims to be injected into your relationship. I think of medical treatments, questions surrounding the end of life, political views, the circle of friends that you can have as a couple and how deeply you can connect as a couple when you talk about how each of you view the world. 1
Author yxalitis Posted July 8, 2015 Author Posted July 8, 2015 Words have a meaning. Words have fluid meanings that change over time...due to common usage. If you're here to look for encouragement and backpatting on dating a Christian from an evangelizing church - I'm not dating the Church, I'm dating a girl who attends that church, that's a huge difference. Yes, I will watch out if she tries to convert me, or my children (good luck!)...I just don't see that happening. I do appreciate your input though, don't think my rebuttals suggest otherwise. 1
umirano Posted July 8, 2015 Posted July 8, 2015 ...Which are NOT universally accepted, adopted, or practised. Christianity is not this all encompassing, "you're in or you're out" ideal, every person worships their god a different way. This isn't the Islamic State, stop making out like it's this extreme. Comparing a religious affiliation to an interest in a sport isn't accurate or helpful I thought. Luckily most believers ignore most of the teachings of their religion, I agree. Just be warned, the closer a believer followes the teachings the more his religion becomes all encompassing, with all the consequences. Some believers become less strict over time, some not. My mother eased up on her strict views. My sister in law maintains a strict belief and an ex became more strict as she replaced an unhealthy relationship with cannabis with religiosity. 1
Author yxalitis Posted July 8, 2015 Author Posted July 8, 2015 Comparing a religious affiliation to an interest in a sport isn't accurate or helpful I thought. Luckily most believers ignore most of the teachings of their religion, I agree. Just be warned, the closer a believer followes the teachings the more his religion becomes all encompassing, with all the consequences. Some believers become less strict over time, some not. My mother eased up on her strict views. My sister in law maintains a strict belief and an ex became more strict as she replaced an unhealthy relationship with cannabis with religiosity. religiosity...? Do you have a thesaurus propped open next to your PC? 1
S_A Posted July 8, 2015 Posted July 8, 2015 I'm an atheist and I wear a thin gold necklace with the Christian Cross. I've worn it for more than half my life and I almost never take it off. I'm 31 and I'd say that the necklace itself is also that old (in years), probably a little older. It's still in prestine condition. It looks like it's never been worn and has a lot of shine. Those who know I am atheist have never called me out on wearing the necklace; nobody has (religious GF included). I get a lot of compliments on it, but nobidy has ever called me out. Think me wearing it is not in good taste? Offensive? I do think about it from time to time and am glad I've never had to answer for it (in part because I know it could offend people, even though that's not what I want to do).
jen1447 Posted July 8, 2015 Posted July 8, 2015 ^ I assume you wear it for reasons other than Christian-related ones?
umirano Posted July 8, 2015 Posted July 8, 2015 religiosity...? Do you have a thesaurus propped open next to your PC? No, I don't :-) but thank you 1
S_A Posted July 8, 2015 Posted July 8, 2015 ^ I assume you wear it for reasons other than Christian-related ones? Yeah, that's right. But it's not because I think it's fashionable or that I think it "looks cool".
Author yxalitis Posted July 9, 2015 Author Posted July 9, 2015 Yeah, that's right. But it's not because I think it's fashionable or that I think it "looks cool". It's to pick up Christians at night clubs..isn't it? 1
autumnnight Posted July 9, 2015 Posted July 9, 2015 Thanks, good feedback. Weren't the Pharisees an aspect of Judaism, not Christianity? I don't understand your reference...but I guess you're saying she's not a hard liner. A lot of people compare legalistic, hard-line, vocally judgmental, self-righteous Christians to Pharisees.
Author yxalitis Posted July 9, 2015 Author Posted July 9, 2015 And..it's all over! I don't know what happened, but after a perfectly fine day (in that she happily replied to a text with some emoticons) I texted her around 7:30. My We Chat account had been deleted (You get a message that the person wants to confirm adding you). Confused I rang, number went immediately to voicemail. huh? I checked Facebook, and yes, I ahve been unfriended... Why? I racked my brains and only this morning realised the most likely scenario This is just a guess, but nothign else I can think of would result in such a drastic set of actions... She googled 'yxalitis' which is also my We Chat ID. #1 result is this forum. Now, to be fair there isn't that much here that a girl whose been around the block would be shocked at. But a nice Christian girl... And, also, I am talking extensively about her in this thread, and while I have been overwhelmingly positive about her, it still could be considered to be, impolite? Anyway, not much I can do now, There is no way I can contact her. I'm pretty disappointed, but at the same time, there is nothing here that is so bad I deserve to be cut off without a comment, so if that's who she is, and if she can't accept my comments on an anonymous international forum, then it's probably for the best.
blueskyday Posted July 9, 2015 Posted July 9, 2015 (edited) Yes, I believe the Pharisees were the hypocrites of the time. Like I said in an earlier post, I'm with a religious guy now. I'm actually spiritual and align more with eastern religions/philosophy. Science excites me, and I don't think science and religion are mutually exclusive. BUT, my guy only believes in Creationism and not any science! It does make me lose respect when he says he doesn't think evolution or the Big Bang theory should be taught in school. He believes they should only teach Intelligent Design (God.) That's where I draw the line. Children should be taught the science, and learn religion outside school (unless it's a Christian school.) It just makes me cringe to think of restricting knowledge, or imposing one's religious beliefs on every else. There is a separation of church and state for a reason, as well as a right to religious freedom (whatever one or none.) of course, he has the right to his ideas, as do I. I will say it might be a good idea to get in a discussion with your new girl. Debate her a bit on the ideas of evolution or of other religions and philosophies. See how she handles it. Does she allow you your own point of view? Does she want to convert others to her religion? Do you feel okay talking to her about controversial things, or do you think she isn't intellectually balanced enough? The opposites who can get along have the same overarching values like kindness, respect for another's freedom of thought and actions, and concern for the relationship above all other ideas. Edited July 9, 2015 by blueskyday
autumnnight Posted July 9, 2015 Posted July 9, 2015 And..it's all over! I don't know what happened, but after a perfectly fine day (in that she happily replied to a text with some emoticons) I texted her around 7:30. My We Chat account had been deleted (You get a message that the person wants to confirm adding you). Confused I rang, number went immediately to voicemail. huh? I checked Facebook, and yes, I ahve been unfriended... Why? I racked my brains and only this morning realised the most likely scenario This is just a guess, but nothign else I can think of would result in such a drastic set of actions... She googled 'yxalitis' which is also my We Chat ID. #1 result is this forum. Now, to be fair there isn't that much here that a girl whose been around the block would be shocked at. But a nice Christian girl... And, also, I am talking extensively about her in this thread, and while I have been overwhelmingly positive about her, it still could be considered to be, impolite? Anyway, not much I can do now, There is no way I can contact her. I'm pretty disappointed, but at the same time, there is nothing here that is so bad I deserve to be cut off without a comment, so if that's who she is, and if she can't accept my comments on an anonymous international forum, then it's probably for the best. I am thinking about your posts, and you seemed very positive about her as a person. Igt was obvious that you liked her and were not negative or insulting. If she erased you based solely on this thread, then that seems a bit extreme. Then again, someone could have "rebuked" her for dating a nonbeliever. Lots of Christians are really into "confronting in love" left and right.
writergal Posted July 9, 2015 Posted July 9, 2015 And..it's all over! I don't know what happened, but after a perfectly fine day (in that she happily replied to a text with some emoticons) I texted her around 7:30. My We Chat account had been deleted (You get a message that the person wants to confirm adding you). Confused I rang, number went immediately to voicemail. huh? I checked Facebook, and yes, I ahve been unfriended... Why? I racked my brains and only this morning realised the most likely scenario This is just a guess, but nothign else I can think of would result in such a drastic set of actions... She googled 'yxalitis' which is also my We Chat ID. #1 result is this forum. Now, to be fair there isn't that much here that a girl whose been around the block would be shocked at. But a nice Christian girl... And, also, I am talking extensively about her in this thread, and while I have been overwhelmingly positive about her, it still could be considered to be, impolite? Anyway, not much I can do now, There is no way I can contact her. I'm pretty disappointed, but at the same time, there is nothing here that is so bad I deserve to be cut off without a comment, so if that's who she is, and if she can't accept my comments on an anonymous international forum, then it's probably for the best. That's unfortunate yxalitis. Sorry to hear that. But if she's the type to cut off her boyfriends without any warning, count yourself lucky. Do you really want to be with a woman who can't communicate her feelings with you about the relationship face to face? I highly doubt she found your thread here though. So, it may not be related to what you wrote here at all. But if it is, I don't see it as a reason to suddenly cut you off and dump you over it.
blueskyday Posted July 9, 2015 Posted July 9, 2015 (edited) Yeah, not a fan of the "confronting in love." Usually just means they think they are superior and can say whatever they want. My guy's family actually told him that maybe he would be the one to bring me to Christ. Excuse me? (And I was raised a Christian, but doesn't matter.) Edited July 9, 2015 by blueskyday
blueskyday Posted July 9, 2015 Posted July 9, 2015 Oh I just saw your post where you say she cut off contact. I'm so sorry. Not very Christian or kind of her. I hope she will have a discussion with you, but if not, you dodged a bullet. You seem to be a very thoughtful and kind man. You deserve the same .
jen1447 Posted July 9, 2015 Posted July 9, 2015 And..it's all over! I don't know what happened, but after a perfectly fine day (in that she happily replied to a text with some emoticons) I texted her around 7:30. My We Chat account had been deleted (You get a message that the person wants to confirm adding you). Confused I rang, number went immediately to voicemail. huh? I checked Facebook, and yes, I ahve been unfriended... Why? I racked my brains and only this morning realised the most likely scenario This is just a guess, but nothign else I can think of would result in such a drastic set of actions... She googled 'yxalitis' which is also my We Chat ID. #1 result is this forum. Now, to be fair there isn't that much here that a girl whose been around the block would be shocked at. But a nice Christian girl... And, also, I am talking extensively about her in this thread, and while I have been overwhelmingly positive about her, it still could be considered to be, impolite? Anyway, not much I can do now, There is no way I can contact her. I'm pretty disappointed, but at the same time, there is nothing here that is so bad I deserve to be cut off without a comment, so if that's who she is, and if she can't accept my comments on an anonymous international forum, then it's probably for the best. Too bad. fwiw, I've heard of a few ppl freaking out over an online presence they were unaware of just due to a kneejerk 'secret life' reaction.
DaisyBug Posted July 9, 2015 Posted July 9, 2015 And..it's all over! I'm so sorry!! You know, there was a post by you that really had me confused yesterday (since you were liking this new chick). You posted what you had written on another board for Step Parenting, and it appeared as though you were talking about the present-day, living with some other lady. Only did I realize just now by looking at it again that the very last sentence says how you are no longer with her. I wonder if she saw THAT thread and didn't read through to the end? Your other posts about her are fine! You are sticking up for her the whole time! Well, if she doesn't even want to ask you about whatever it is that concerned her, then like you said, it's for the best. Still, too bad.
Author yxalitis Posted July 9, 2015 Author Posted July 9, 2015 Too bad. fwiw, I've heard of a few ppl freaking out over an online presence they were unaware of just due to a kneejerk 'secret life' reaction. It's kind of like snooping on someone's phone. People are allowed to express themselves openly and without fear of retribution to friends, family, and, yes anonymous forums. To open that door is to open a pathway to pain, I can't imagine a single relationship where one, or both partners have never said terrible, hurtful things to friends or family. It might have been spur of the moment, it might have been when they were highly charged or emotional. But whatever was said, and for whatever reason, that conversation needs to remain private. This isn’t about “keeping secrets” but you’re a fool to assume society can exist without deception, same applies to a relationship.
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