Angry about the company

[kenmore]

I can relate to those feelings.

 

I think that loveweary's advice was right, and I would put some thought into what he said. From my own experience now, I wish I would have planned my marketing and business development a little more carefully before jumping into the abyss. I leaped mainly because I was frustrated and angry all the time at my previous job and I just wanted a way out. I was assuming that I could pick up my freelance clients the way I did three years ago, but the competition has become a lot more fierce and I'm in a different market geographically now. Consequently, I'm struggling, and loveweary's post makes me realize that I made decisions that were emotional and that I didn't make my planning logical enough. I am still confident that I will get things going, but it would have been nice to know some of these things a few months ago.

 

I don't know what kind of business plans you have going forward, but I would make your exit from your current situation as graceful as possible. People may have different views on what that means, but what I mean as it applies to you is to continue working with your clients and colleagues professionally. When it comes time to pull the plug on it finally, I would just be upfront with them and say that you've appreciated the time and opportunity. It didn't work out as you wanted it to, but you probably learned a lot. I think people will understand. People know that not every person is going to be a great insurance salesman. But that doesn't mean you can't be great at something else. Try to leave gracefully, because those same people might actually be helpful to you in your next venture. I know in my case, I tried to leave gracefully despite everyone knowing I wasn't happy. It enabled me to continue working on a very limited basis with these people, and it's a lifeline right now.

 

Thanks again Fugu! What you say is very true. Of course I have delusions of going in and telling the district manager what an ass he is (oddly I like the guy, he's a real person, I just question his morals) but I wouldn't. Me telling that one customer FU was seriously an emotional outburst based upon frustration with this job and my divorce. Normally I'm a pretty cool and good businessman. It's only lately like the last six months I have been doubting myself.

 

Yes, I will leave gracefully. I think like you do that it's important. I know people there think a lot of me. Wow, if I had these references in 2010 when I started my job search, I might have been good! I'm not planning on throwing them out. If this job has done nothing else for me, it has done that! Add to that that the business references if good mean so much, I don't even consider the money I have spent doing this "job" wasted, really; it's money spent for that reason.

 

Loveweary, thanks for your advice, it is very valuable! I am a fellow serial entrepreneur (even this "job" is self employment and is considered entrepreneurship), and I hear you! Your advice is right and to the point. Where your knowledge surpasses mine is in the fact that I feel you have had more success. You are right when you say not to follow your feelings alone regarding a business, but this business is so ripe in my opinion, it will be the next big thing I'll witness if I don't do it first and that has been a thorn in my side for so long! I know in my heart and with marketing research (more than I have done in this sales business in the last six months) that not only is there a market, but there is a want. There is a void, even more than a niche and I can fill it...it just takes money.

 

Which brings me to the point before, I tried to be frugal for my wife. I tried to reduce my debt for her (sure I want it gone too, but don't fear it as much if it's to build a future.) I neglected this niche for too long and I know it's there. It's not just something I want to do, it's something I want to have if I was the customer, and I know there is a market for it because there used to be and it's unfulfilled now. The want has not changed.

 

I also agree with you about my personal life being "more important" regarding my self image. Sadly, that hit rock bottom yesterday as well...or maybe it was the cutting of the rope! I think so because I actually feel a freedom I have not felt for awhile. Trust me dude, I want a woman! I want to be loved and I won't stop until I find another (and better) love, but right now, it's business first.

 

I appreciate all of your comments! They make me think. Perhaps that's what I need more than anything. Maybe I spent too much time being told what to do by my wife. Maybe my life will not do a 180 but more like a 540! Anyway, from now on, I'm doing my thing and that leaves only one person to blame...that's me. I like that!

 

Ken

[Fugu]

Thanks again Fugu! What you say is very true. Of course I have delusions of going in and telling the district manager what an ass he is (oddly I like the guy, he's a real person, I just question his morals) but I wouldn't.

 

Unless he's an over-the-top shyster and really causing significant harm to people, I would probably be hesitant to judge the guy too much. He's just trying to make house payments like you and me. Sometimes it's easy to forget this and assume the worst of people, but over the years, the truth that I see more often than not is that people really aren't so much out to get us; it's just that they really couldn't give a shyt about us one way or the other. That truth can be both a source of great relief to us in moments of paranoia, and also a great source of major disappointment when we're looking for people to have our backs. Unfortunately, careers, the workplace...these are not the best places to look for dudes you'd share a foxhole with. People's self-interest tends to take over. I'm sure there are people I've worked with me over the years who'd accuse me of the same faults I find in others.

 

Which brings me to the point before, I tried to be frugal for my wife. I tried to reduce my debt for her (sure I want it gone too, but don't fear it as much if it's to build a future.) I neglected this niche for too long and I know it's there. It's not just something I want to do, it's something I want to have if I was the customer, and I know there is a market for it because there used to be and it's unfulfilled now. The want has not changed.

 

I think the crux of it for you is that the divorce, with your ex-wife leaving you abruptly and over problems that were eminently solvable, has you feeling betrayed and it leaves you feeling vulnerable. Consequently, you probably don't trust anyone right now, and that's understandable. You feel like you gave up your autonomy to someone and got nothing in return. I've felt like that before, which is not to say I blame the ex for everything - I don't. I f*cked it up, too. But I did feel like I gave up a career for someone who didn't appreciate those sacrifices, and I was angry about it for a long time. It took me a while before I got on my feet again. When I did, I stayed out of relationships for a long time because I didn't want to feel like I was losing control of anything. I did ultimately return to that place where I could feel more comfortable trusting someone, but it took a long time and a special person.

[kenmore]

Unless he's an over-the-top shyster and really causing significant harm to people, I would probably be hesitant to judge the guy too much. He's just trying to make house payments like you and me. Sometimes it's easy to forget this and assume the worst of people, but over the years, the truth that I see more often than not is that people really aren't so much out to get us; it's just that they really couldn't give a shyt about us one way or the other. That truth can be both a source of great relief to us in moments of paranoia, and also a great source of major disappointment when we're looking for people to have our backs. Unfortunately, careers, the workplace...these are not the best places to look for dudes you'd share a foxhole with. People's self-interest tends to take over. I'm sure there are people I've worked with me over the years who'd accuse me of the same faults I find in others.

 

I have some respect for the guy. He made it in this business (though he's third generation, I have been selling it four months), has lots of money (or so he brags regularly) and aside from his "money first" attitude, I feel he's actually a pretty decent guy as far as humans go, though from a business perspective, I wouldn't trust him further than I can see clearly. Not just him, but hints are regularly dropped from most of the old timers about doing what it takes to make the sale, even if you may be hurting the customer. While in the long run a dose of integrity will make some happier customers, they aren't signing up fast enough to make quotas. It's a sad truth about the industry I think, it takes a certain amount of deceit to make it work.

 

I think the crux of it for you is that the divorce, with your ex-wife leaving you abruptly and over problems that were eminently solvable, has you feeling betrayed and it leaves you feeling vulnerable. Consequently, you probably don't trust anyone right now, and that's understandable. You feel like you gave up your autonomy to someone and got nothing in return. I've felt like that before, which is not to say I blame the ex for everything - I don't. I f*cked it up, too. But I did feel like I gave up a career for someone who didn't appreciate those sacrifices, and I was angry about it for a long time. It took me a while before I got on my feet again. When I did, I stayed out of relationships for a long time because I didn't want to feel like I was losing control of anything. I did ultimately return to that place where I could feel more comfortable trusting someone, but it took a long time and a special person.

 

Yes, you hit this right on the head! I'm not blameless, but I am having a difficult time figuring out how I could ever trust again.

 

I re-read my contract again and they are out of line. It is a one year contract with provision for early termination with a three month written notice (I have been given no notice), 30 day written notice for breach of contract (I have not but I suppose they are...kinda ironic) or immediate termination for things like embezzlement, misrepresentation, willful harm etc. I could force them to let me stay on, but I don't know that I would do that. I have my doubts about my effectiveness (as noted above) and why would I force a hostile environment on myself? There is a clause about erroneous early termination and a monetary compensation but it is defined in lost profits, and that would be difficult to make a case of.

 

My efforts are most likely better spent thinking about my own future career, not them. At least in these last couple of days, I am more at peace about the ex. I can finally put her behind me emotionally, and it feels nice.

[Ronni_W]

I liked the idea of this job. Representing a big well known company, setting my own hours (and they have been relentless), great possibilities, but you're right, just like the marriage I wanted to keep, I'm better off going a different path. I'm a little sick of other people making those decisions for me, but you can't fight the currents of life.

YOU are the one making the decision to stay true to your own values or principles or "higher thoughts" or whatever you want to call it, kenmore. You are putting yourself in charge of the current of your own life...the flow of the River of Life.

The company is the opposing force that is challenging you to NOT stay true to yourself!

 

Setting your own hours is great...if you can keep your integrity (is what your Higher Part is saying, yes?)

Representing a big, well-known company is great...if you can keep your integrity (is what your Higher Part is saying, yes?)

 

There is a business I wanted to start from day one after closing the doors of our family business. I'm kicking myself that I never did it and it was because I was always told I needed to find a regular paying job ...

Okay, so don't do anything that can get you a ride in the cookie truck -- but DO start asking your "Higher-Integrity Part" how you can make this happen. One minute, once or twice or thrice per day (preferably at the same time), just ask.

 

Wishing you the freedom, peace and wealth for which you are willing to put forth efforts...for, that you truly shall magnetize into your life!

[kenmore]

YOU are the one making the decision to stay true to your own values or principles or "higher thoughts" or whatever you want to call it, kenmore. You are putting yourself in charge of the current of your own life...the flow of the River of Life.

The company is the opposing force that is challenging you to NOT stay true to yourself!

 

Setting your own hours is great...if you can keep your integrity (is what your Higher Part is saying, yes?)

Representing a big, well-known company is great...if you can keep your integrity (is what your Higher Part is saying, yes?)

 

Okay, so don't do anything that can get you a ride in the cookie truck -- but DO start asking your "Higher-Integrity Part" how you can make this happen. One minute, once or twice or thrice per day (preferably at the same time), just ask.

 

Wishing you the freedom, peace and wealth for which you are willing to put forth efforts...for, that you truly shall magnetize into your life!

 

Ronni, you really touched me tonight. Yeah, it's true that I need to hang on to my integrity. That was never a question in my mind but it seems to be a condition of the job.

 

 

Before I go on, I need to point out what I see. Everyone I work with has a unique personality (obviously) and some make it and some don't (most don't.) Of the ones that make it, I'm not saying they are liars or manipulators, I see them (individually) as people who "say the right things" meaning they word things so to say what sounds great. I am not even thinking they mislead people, I just feel either they believe what they are saying or yes, they are really good at misleading people. If they believe what they are saying, maybe they have found a way to believe what the company exudes, and maybe that's the key I'm missing. I don't believe the company is bad or that they deliberately mislead people, I just think that when you look at the details, it's ugly...but the same goes for all insurance. A lot of it is just ugly. a lot of it is great and maybe I just need to adjust. Maybe I need to adjust to seeing the beautiful part instead of the ugly part. I was able to do that with my wife, and perhaps that's what's screwing with me now.

 

My problem is that when I studied insurance in December, they drilled it into my head about integrity, honesty and "the slippery slope of ethics." I have never had an ethics problem so I scoffed. I still do. If something is not right, I just won't do it, but something is always not right and I'm losing my job for it.

 

Sorry, I didn't mean to write a novel. I'm glad you wrote to me and I realize what you are saying is how can I make this work for me? I know insurance is for the good of people. One thing I heard in a totally unrelated marketing webinar is that as a salesperson, I am helping the customer. I'm not hurting them by selling them something, I'm helping them! They may really need it someday.

 

A woman I recently talked to (38 and her 36 yr old husband died in a car accident two months ago) told me they were discussing life insurance. Can you imagine? She told me she's sorry they didn't get it. Of course she's thinking about it now (she's a single mom with a 2 yr old son.) If I was their agent before he died, how would I feel now?

 

Ronni, you gave me a fresh perspective and I thank you! I have been living in a f*cking vacuum lately worrying about my stupid marriage and for what? I need to worry about my future and I knew it, it just never sunk in. I need to worry about people like this wonderful lady. I need to get my head out of my *ss!

 

Thanks!

 

Ken

[kenmore]

I have come to the conclusion that what really bothers me about this is the similarity to what my ex did. I was lied to and led on. They had me sign a contract for a year of this to learn my craft, make it work and become successful and then they decide to cut it off with no care for what I want or feel.

 

I feel things are starting to click, which makes sense after all the marketing time, money, visiting people in their houses, businesses, emails etc. Just as it's starting to look better, it's chopped off at the knees. Sorry about all the time and money you wasted, see ya!

 

It's exactly what I got a year ago to the day from my ex! Maybe July 8th is a cursed day for me! I can't imagine why, if a deity was to pick a day to be cursed for Ken, July 8th?

 

I still find myself running around like a chicken with no head trying to get work all the while knowing what a big f*cking waste of time it is anymore. Why am I wasting my time? Again, it's like the effort wasted trying to talk to my ex. It was never going to be ok, so it was just wasted effort. True, as I sell things over the next couple of weeks it's money, and they may change their minds, but really, logic says I should be seriously doing something that has a more definite impact on my future, not (in the long run) helping these jerks.

 

I'm a little torn between just burning the bridge which is rarely a good idea and just doing my best for the remaining couple of weeks. I don't want to let my potential customers down, but there's another whole sore point! How can I in good conscience find new customers, woo them to become my client and sell them policies knowing I most likely won't be there to support them next month?

 

Grr! I really feel I'm working for a bunch of *ssholes right now! I'm a lot tired of being treated like trash! first my wife now these dicks!

 

I think I'll have a meeting of minds with them soon because I don't want to go on with this limbo.

 

Ken

[pink_sugar]

I have come to the conclusion that what really bothers me about this is the similarity to what my ex did. I was lied to and led on. They had me sign a contract for a year of this to learn my craft, make it work and become successful and then they decide to cut it off with no care for what I want or feel.

 

I feel things are starting to click, which makes sense after all the marketing time, money, visiting people in their houses, businesses, emails etc. Just as it's starting to look better, it's chopped off at the knees. Sorry about all the time and money you wasted, see ya!

 

It's exactly what I got a year ago to the day from my ex! Maybe July 8th is a cursed day for me! I can't imagine why, if a deity was to pick a day to be cursed for Ken, July 8th?

 

I still find myself running around like a chicken with no head trying to get work all the while knowing what a big f*cking waste of time it is anymore. Why am I wasting my time? Again, it's like the effort wasted trying to talk to my ex. It was never going to be ok, so it was just wasted effort. True, as I sell things over the next couple of weeks it's money, and they may change their minds, but really, logic says I should be seriously doing something that has a more definite impact on my future, not (in the long run) helping these jerks.

 

I'm a little torn between just burning the bridge which is rarely a good idea and just doing my best for the remaining couple of weeks. I don't want to let my potential customers down, but there's another whole sore point! How can I in good conscience find new customers, woo them to become my client and sell them policies knowing I most likely won't be there to support them next month?

 

Grr! I really feel I'm working for a bunch of *ssholes right now! I'm a lot tired of being treated like trash! first my wife now these dicks!

 

I think I'll have a meeting of minds with them soon because I don't want to go on with this limbo.

 

Ken

 

 

I would just suck it up and tough it out. It's only a couple weeks.

[Fugu]

I'm going to invert the order of your post's content and respond to it.

 

How can I in good conscience find new customers, woo them to become my client and sell them policies knowing I most likely won't be there to support them next month?

 

That's actually a fair question to ask yourself. It's a question of what you feel comfortable doing on a personal level. The bottom line is, they will be okay after you're gone. They can get insurance from someone else, right? Does it all depend on you? Did it depend on you before you got there a few months ago? Nah, probably not. Life goes on, the world still turns. But your own life, that's very short. Make your time meaningful. You first, okay? Not you only, but yeah, you first. You and whoever you know to be truly, deeply loyal to you, like your closest family or friends you've known your entire life. Think of it this way: if you lost your house and were homeless tomorrow, who would take you in and not ask questions? You drop what your doing for that guy or that gal. Other than that, it's all about you first.

 

I'm a little torn between just burning the bridge which is rarely a good idea and just doing my best for the remaining couple of weeks. I don't want to let my potential customers down, but there's another whole sore point! How can I in good conscience find new customers, woo them to become my client and sell them policies knowing I most likely won't be there to support them next month?

 

Okay, when I said don't burn bridges, maybe I should have modified that a little. I mean don't do anything that's unnecessary and try to be a professional up until the time you decide it's time for you to leave. That is not to be confused with making a reasonable decision that may nevertheless be inconvenient and upsetting to others. Sometimes people get p*ssed at your decisions because it's not something they calculated and it's disruptive to them personally, but for you it may still be the right decision, and it might be legitimate and valid to a more objective person. When people say 'don't burn bridges' what they're generally saying is, don't give your detractors ammunition to give to your supporters, which might ultimately cause them to change their opinion of you. It only hurts you in the long-run, not them.

 

You're only going to be there for a few weeks. What are you going to get out of it? You already know you're not going to be there long-term, and your supervisor (?) already likely knows that as well, right? There's no mystery here. They deal with this all the time. You already know you're getting out, so that's probably not a secret. The key here is for you to make the best of this situation. Work whatever you have to your advantage. Not showing up for work, missing appointments, and not returning phone calls without explanation as a way passive-aggressive way to get vengeance would not be in your best interests. It would make people lose whatever respect they have for you, and that's not something to take lightly. You'll need that respect somewhere down the line, even though you can't see it right now. Sure people might see you out and whisper "That's the guy who couldn't hack it as an insurance guy" but who gives a flip? Seriously, even if you're not earning six figures, if two years from now you're self-employed and earning enough money to pay your rent and enough to be independent and happy and sipping a margarita on the beach at sundown, will you really care what they think?

 

The key for you now is that every decision you make - whether we're talking about staying another three weeks and trying to make a commission check, or just cutting your losses and saying, "I'm sorry, I gotta stop what I'm doing" - has to be with your best interests in mind. If it makes sense for you to hang in and get a commission check, then do it. If you look at it and discover that even with a commission check, you'll owe more in overhead and that getting out now would cut your losses, then cut your losses. If you've got some great idea and time is of the essence, then again, maybe the thing to do is to stop now. But if you stop, be a man and face people who will be affected by it and give them an honest explanation. Don't just bail on them to give them the equivalent of the finger.

 

It's all about you first. Not you only, but except for those who depend on you for survival or who are undoubtedly loyal to you, it's definitely about you first. Anyone else, anything else does . not. matter.

Edited July 20, 2015 by Fugu

[kenmore]

Thanks for your replies!

 

Fugu, I appreciate all you said. You needn't concern yourself, I'm not the kind of guy who will just bail and not take phone calls. When I quit my job at the home depot, I gave a weeks notice. My wife urged me not to give them any notice, so you can see what kind of advice she gave. Her reasoning was "it's not a white collar job so notice is not customary." I disagreed, worked my week and on the second to last day, the manager came over and thanked me for coming in. There was never a question.

 

As far as my clients go, what you say is true. They will survive. There is one client in particular who is a family friend and bought her policy from me specifically because I am her friend. She's thinking about a life policy. When she bought her first policy, I thought I'd be around. Now, i don't feel like urging her on because I know I may be hurting her.

 

Another family friend is looking for a life policy and talking to me, but she won't be ready until Sep., so I should be long gone by then.

 

But the reality is with an agent, oftentimes people do buy or not buy depending on whether they like a particular agent; if he's reliable, prompt, easy to talk to. I feel like I'm lying to them if I sell myself to them knowing next month they get whomever. If I was a real insurance salesman, maybe I wouldn't give a crap. It seems to some extent that's what they want from their agents, people who just don't care about that personal stuff, but I still think caring IS what makes a quality agent...I can't argue with the numbers though.

 

Anyway, despite the fact that I'm apparently a dead agent walking, I went out in the heat and humidity in my suit today, sweated profusely while visiting people in their homes. Maybe something will come of it, maybe not. Tomorrow I'm going to take a day off from insurance and do my own business. It's not urgent fortunately, because I wanted to do this back in 2010 but my wife (who was making money) said no, I shouldn't go into debt starting my own company. So far, her way hasn't worked either and she's out of the picture so there's a new person running things!

 

If I was to burn bridges, it would be just telling them I want to just be done, but then I'm the one breaching the contract. I think I'll let them do so. Then maybe I can collect from a lawsuit in small claims court. Oh, that would sure feel great!

 

Ken

[kenmore]

Well, it's all academic now, I am no longer working with that company.

 

While I didn't want to burn any bridges, I think I ended up doing so. He was offering me a position doing something else (a position I don't feel I'm qualified for anyway, in addition to one I don't want and that's in addition to how I feel about the company) and asked me how I felt. I told him.

 

I pointed out how they treat certain people differently than others, how little support I felt I had and how they were breaching our contract. It did not go down well. He grew angry and asked me to please get out of the building ASAP. I guess some people don't like hearing the truth.

 

So, goodbye crappy thankless no-pay job, hello whatever is new. I now feel happy to be out of that cesspool.

 

Ken

[Fugu]

Well, it's all academic now, I am no longer working with that company.

 

While I didn't want to burn any bridges, I think I ended up doing so. He was offering me a position doing something else (a position I don't feel I'm qualified for anyway, in addition to one I don't want and that's in addition to how I feel about the company) and asked me how I felt. I told him.

 

I pointed out how they treat certain people differently than others, how little support I felt I had and how they were breaching our contract. It did not go down well. He grew angry and asked me to please get out of the building ASAP. I guess some people don't like hearing the truth.

 

So, goodbye crappy thankless no-pay job, hello whatever is new. I now feel happy to be out of that cesspool.

 

Ken

 

It might have been better to keep your true opinions closer to your vest, but what's done is done.

 

Take a day or two to mull things over and then start in a new direction. You might want to consider doing some easy, temporary grunt work here and there just to bring in some income and cash flow for the time being. Take a look at your financials to see what kind of cash flow you need and do the bare minimum. Then use whatever spare time you have to figure out you real next step.

[kenmore]

Fugu, you are a very wonderful person for caring as you do. I went on a new job interview yesterday so I'll see how it goes. Regardless, it's nice to know you care and give me such great advice!

 

Yes, I'm going to take some time off. I have two deals going on which the office says I can close (nice of them to allow me to give them some more business), but I get commission so it helps me too. For the life of me, I can't understand the logic of letting a non-paid person go. If I bring in a trickle of business, it's their gain!

 

I definitely appreciate your understanding and your posts. You have cared a lot about me and my career, and you need to know I really care back! Thanks!

 

They are (kindly) letting me finish my open business so maybe I won't need to sue them lol. That's the kind of stuff I lose sleep over.

 

Ken