sandylee1 Posted June 30, 2015 Share Posted June 30, 2015 As I was reading your post, it just kept getting worse and worse, but I thought somewhere in there he might have told you he actually loved you and wanted to be with you. He's a serial cheater and always will be. Monogamy means nothing to him. I suggest you get tested Std's , Lord knows how many women he's been with. Why oh why do you not think you deserve better than this lowlife. You should be happy he's not your husband , he's what we call in England 'a waste of space ' GET RID and let him find another mug. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
goodyblue Posted July 1, 2015 Share Posted July 1, 2015 Please stop throwing around terms like NPD or psychopathy. These must be diagnosed by a professional and saying you feel he is one or both of these belittles such a heavy diagnosis. True NPD is very rare and he probably is not one with NPD. He really just sounds like a selfish sh.it face. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
jwi71 Posted July 1, 2015 Share Posted July 1, 2015 To answer your Q of what happens after he gets a D...nothing. You are already living the life he offers. Link to post Share on other sites
Southern Sun Posted July 1, 2015 Share Posted July 1, 2015 (edited) Please stop throwing around terms like NPD or psychopathy. These must be diagnosed by a professional and saying you feel he is one or both of these belittles such a heavy diagnosis. True NPD is very rare and he probably is not one with NPD. He really just sounds like a selfish sh.it face. I am not belittling it and understand we don't know for certain. However, you should be careful to not belittle those who have been a victim of these types of people, by questioning what he is. Most will never go in and be officially diagnosed and unfortunately, it is much more common that you might think. It is the victims who are always questioned and their experiences devalued. Saying he is "just a selfish sh.it face" is minimizing and insulting. You may not understand unless you've been there. Edited July 1, 2015 by Southern Sun Link to post Share on other sites
goodyblue Posted July 1, 2015 Share Posted July 1, 2015 I am not belittling it and understand we don't know for certain. However, you should be careful to not belittle those who have been a victim of these types of people, by questioning what he is. Most will never go in and be officially diagnosed and unfortunately, it is much more common that you might think. It is the victims who are always questioned and their experiences devalued. Saying he is "just a selfish sh.it face" is minimizing and insulting. You may not understand unless you've been there. It IS rare. Unless he has a diagnosis, don't use the wording. I have known people with both NPD and schizophrenia. I am not dumb to the effects these people have on the lives of those who love them. Call him anything you like that does not require a diagnosis. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Southern Sun Posted July 1, 2015 Share Posted July 1, 2015 It IS rare. Unless he has a diagnosis, don't use the wording. I have known people with both NPD and schizophrenia. I am not dumb to the effects these people have on the lives of those who love them. Call him anything you like that does not require a diagnosis. Fine. If you noticed, I never said that was his diagnosis. I am offering advice to the OP. He didn't come to this forum. I think it would be irresponsible to not advise her of what she MIGHT be dealing with. As previously stated, it is highly unlikely he, if indeed he is disordered, would ever go seek treatment and actually be clinically diagnosed. That doesn't mean she shouldn't educate herself on the possibilities. Perhaps he's just a Class A Jerk. Perhaps he's disordered. Understanding him will help her, which she doesn't need a diagnosis for, and let's face it, she'll never get. But most of us would appreciate a little help in the dark. She can't google "sh.t face" and begin to help herself, but she can with the other names...again, with or without an actual diagnosis. I've known them as well. Too well. Link to post Share on other sites
goodyblue Posted July 1, 2015 Share Posted July 1, 2015 Fine. If you noticed, I never said that was his diagnosis. I am offering advice to the OP. He didn't come to this forum. I think it would be irresponsible to not advise her of what she MIGHT be dealing with. As previously stated, it is highly unlikely he, if indeed he is disordered, would ever go seek treatment and actually be clinically diagnosed. That doesn't mean she shouldn't educate herself on the possibilities. Perhaps he's just a Class A Jerk. Perhaps he's disordered. Understanding him will help her, which she doesn't need a diagnosis for, and let's face it, she'll never get. But most of us would appreciate a little help in the dark. She can't google "sh.t face" and begin to help herself, but she can with the other names...again, with or without an actual diagnosis. I've known them as well. Too well. I think if you Google sh.it face it just gives a picture of my ex anyway. I.do understand your point, but around LS people love throwing those terms around and it bothers me specifically because they don't know that of which they speak. It is frustrating because someone being a selfish jerk does not make them NPD. And truly, someone can be narcissistic without having NPD. So there are distinctions to be made. And let's face it, most MM have narcissistic traits for sure. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Southern Sun Posted July 1, 2015 Share Posted July 1, 2015 I think if you Google sh.it face it just gives a picture of my ex anyway. I.do understand your point, but around LS people love throwing those terms around and it bothers me specifically because they don't know that of which they speak. It is frustrating because someone being a selfish jerk does not make them NPD. And truly, someone can be narcissistic without having NPD. So there are distinctions to be made. And let's face it, most MM have narcissistic traits for sure. True dat Most definitely agree...we shouldn't be flippant about using the diagnoses. But I am also super aware of not dismissing the experiences of the people on the other side of the coin, as that happens all too often. When I think I see people being taken advantage of by such wolves in sheep's clothing, mama-bear comes out. It's a balancing act. And think about what happens to someone who truly is a victim of a disordered person. The disordered person will likely NEVER go to get help because they don't think they need help. They fool everyone else in their life, so the only person seeing their true colors is the one closest to them (usually the partner). The person never gets diagnosed so no one calls them what they are. And everyone just looks at the victim and thinks, is it really that bad? And the victim just questions herself. Anyway...back to the OP! Sorry for the TJ. Link to post Share on other sites
finally43 Posted July 2, 2015 Share Posted July 2, 2015 I agree with goodyblue about all the "diagnosing" that is done online...as if it makes things better if the person is a narcissist or has bi-polar or any of the other mental illnesses that get mentioned. He is a s h I t face jerk. Confused, it doesn't matter if he is a <insert mental illness disgnosis>..what matters is why you want to continue an affair with a jerk who has shown you repeatedly by his actions that he isn't going to be your partner..he wants his freedom and wants to play around with whoever will play with him. That should be enough for you to say "see ya" unless you are totally cool with him not being exclusive with you. I don't think you are ok with that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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