angel.eyes Posted July 4, 2015 Share Posted July 4, 2015 And what of the woman just before you, who also had HSV2 but was otherwise great in his eyes? This guy planned your first date? I'm guessing it wasn't an eleventh hour ad hoc invite like this to keep him company while he meandered around the festival? I'm not trying to knock you, but your choices are a big part of why you struggle despite dating so frequently IMO. The poorer the choice, the more excited you seem to get, at least in your description of these prospects. Do you honestly see a rainbow and a long-term partner at the end of this offer? Have fun! Just understand the limitations of your choices and the fact that it's simply a distraction that's preventing you from focusing on what you really are seeking...at least what you claimed to seek up to a handful of posts ago. Wasting time on the Mr. Wrongs in your dating pond and agreeing to be Ms. Right for Tonight for any Joe Schmuck who slinks back after disappearing is not going to help you get the long-term partner that you seek. Honestly, in your shoes, I would take a few months off from all dating and just reflect on what I might want to do differently in my quest. But do what you will... Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted July 4, 2015 Share Posted July 4, 2015 (edited) An unexpected invitation About 3 weeks ago I met this man over coffee. Nice man, articulate and fun. He started telling me this story that the woman he met before me told him she had hsv-2 and even though she was a really sweet woman he decided to not pursue with her upon that news. There I was with a big smile on my face and said to him guess what? :-). Poor man he literally fell down his chair when I told him - me to. He was such a good player, we just turned it into a big joke and still had fun. We kissed at the end and said good bye. It was an unspoken understanding we would not pursue. He just called and offered to take me to Jazz festival :-) Gaeta, with respect, why did you post this? You HAD to know it was going to be met with criticism ........placing you, as with ALL your posts, in a defensive position ...... and once again, making excuses for some bozo who chose to not pursue you after the first meet/date ....... but who shows up, uncannily, three weeks later...and immediately after some other bozo stands you up, disappointing you. It's uncanny! I am not going to bother giving you my opinion, as it's clear it will just go in one ear and out the other......what boggles the mind is why you continue posting this stuff in the first place? You don't listen to any of the advice given anyway, so what's the point really, you know? It's basically just one bad judgment call after the other....no matter what anyone says. And for what? To be "treated, complimented and flirted with?" Really? Not trying to beat you up here, but I honestly don't understand what you're doing....it makes no sense to me. That said, I do wish you the best....good luck with all of it. Edited July 4, 2015 by katiegrl Link to post Share on other sites
J21 Posted July 4, 2015 Share Posted July 4, 2015 After going through heartache of being cheated on and eventually getting a divorce, I'd probably want a new beginning for me and my daughter if I were in his shoes. Until you have grounds for suspicion, I wouldn't think much of it. Link to post Share on other sites
BluEyeL Posted July 4, 2015 Share Posted July 4, 2015 When I was dating, I have to admit I would always need some male attention in my life even if I 100% knew the guy wasn't interested in a relationship and wasn't relationship material. I could never really take a break from dating and I don't recommend it necessarily for everyone. I dated a guy who was only seeing me twice month. I dumped him after the 5th date, but allowed him to call me regularly after and also went to see a movie with him once. I used him to keep my anxiety down until I met my boyfriend . Maybe Gaeta similarly needs that attention, in a different way, whatever way helps her. Probably my way wasn't healthy but it really helped me cope with OLD. I hated it and was going crazy with impatience and anxiety . I say everyone should do whatever they feel helps them cope. If going out with reappearing man helps, go for it. Just know and expect it'll not amount to anything substantial. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted July 4, 2015 Share Posted July 4, 2015 So, to be clear. You're not looking for a relationship right? Just "fun"? Know what you want. Then behave in ways consistent with what you want. A woman can want a relationship but still want to have some fun until she finds it. I'm not necessarily even talking about sex. Going to dinners, festivals and having some male company is nice. As long as G is not getting hurt I see no harm. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gaeta Posted July 4, 2015 Author Share Posted July 4, 2015 I had a great time. I don't care if he got back to me after 3 weeks, I was not waiting for him anyway. I expect nothing from it and it feels GREAT. All I care is that's it's Friday, a beautiful summer night, and I got a good time. I don't know what happened this morning but I really let go of that relationship expectation. I don't want to have any expectations or obey by any rules anymore. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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