philsach890 Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 Heys guys check out my thread for background on my situation: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/531862-3-years-gone-feel-like-absolute-encouragement-guidance Im starting this as a separate thread from my main one which involves mainly updates on my progress. Here i am 2months post BU + NC following a 3 year LTR I would love to hear your personal feelings/experiences that you went through from 2months onwards. I do feel really stuck in my healing atm and want to know what kind of shifts/changes in perspectives you experienced. I want to know that there are positives in the first 6 months post BU. Link to post Share on other sites
OldRover Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 Heys guys check out my thread for background on my situation: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/531862-3-years-gone-feel-like-absolute-encouragement-guidance Im starting this as a separate thread from my main one which involves mainly updates on my progress. Here i am 2months post BU + NC following a 3 year LTR I would love to hear your personal feelings/experiences that you went through from 2months onwards. I do feel really stuck in my healing atm and want to know what kind of shifts/changes in perspectives you experienced. I want to know that there are positives in the first 6 months post BU. You'll make it... there are many of us that have gone thru this, so you can learn a lot on how to get through. I'm coming up on three months... and things are progressing. Sure I have set backs, we all do, but as time goes on, it gets better. My goal was to completely fall "out of love" in 3 months.... I'm close but will take a bit more time. If I dwell on the good times, it's tough. If I dwell on the issues that split us up, it's easier. (I left her, but didn't want to). What bothers me the most, is I really wonder how long it would have taken to fix the issue in our relationship, and just didn't want to spend years and lots of time counseling to find it still didn't work. If I could have been solved in a year, I probably would have stayed. (but we worked on it for 6 months, and she was not receptive). So, life goes on, and I'm definitely heading a different direction. Haven't seen or talked to her since, and I won't for a long time. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
aloneinaz Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 The first month after my break up (the ex ended us), I had trouble eating and sleeping. I was a wreck even though I knew the relationship was toxic and far too dysfunctional. I still loved her crazy aZZ. After the first month, I started feeling better. My appetite returned. I was sleeping again. I was mad that I met up and feel for a girl w/so many issues that she hid for the first part of the relationship. By month two, I KNEW I'd never go back for more of her BS. I needed to move on. I was tired of being alone at 2months. I missed female companionship. So, I started dating again. It wasn't easy but I found that I liked the attention and time spend with the girls. I met my now almost 2 year GF a few months after the break up. I couldn't be happier to be in a healthy, loving, drama free relationship. Now 2+ years later, I have no animosity with the ex. I hope she can find someone that rocks her world. There's only one thing I really miss about her and it's petty. She gave the best head ever... eeevvveerrrr.. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
jdids247 Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 I'm 3 months along. I was going OK for about a month, broke down and contacted her and we tried to work it out for a week. Obviously there was still some old wounds, but there was a big issue I wanted to work on with her before we got serious again. She didn't think it was an issue so we split again. Almost two months later, I'm doing better. Not 100%, but I realized last week I'm not ready to date. I was on Match.com for a few weeks and couldn't make any connections. The worst part....she signed up for an account and viewed me, which made me come crashing back down to zero. Another thing that isn't helping my progress is that I'm leaving a job that I've been at for 4.5 years. I love the people but it was time for a change. I have good days...weeks even, then I'll get down in the dumps and over analyze everything in the relationship that I did wrong and completely ignore the fact that she tore apart my confidence and self esteem. To say things have been an emotional roller coaster is an understatement. I'm a 29 year old man and I feel as emotional as a 15 year old teenage girl. It doesn't help I still keep in touch with people who are close with her, but they want to remain in touch anyway. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author philsach890 Posted June 26, 2015 Author Share Posted June 26, 2015 Thanks for the reply guys Im really hoping things get better im just so tired of the daily monotonous routine and pain. Although physically im much better with regards to sleeping, eating etc... Im at a point where the sinking in feeling is really affecting me. Im going back to overanalyzing the situation and constantly hurting myself ruminating over fears, insecurities and negativities. I developed a really good way of avoiding the dwelling and thought cycling, but for 5 days straight for some reason it hasnt worked. The bad thoughts and pain have just been really hitting me. Im very lucky to have a job over the intersemester break. It keeps me busy for 9 -10 hours a day and allows me to do something productive while earning money. I really want to find confidence in myself again as it was torn apart as well as my self esteem as a result of this entire situation. Iv had some incredibly dark days lately that almost took me back to the first agonising month. Fighting everyday, surviving everyday and trying to live through each day. Link to post Share on other sites
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