3 years gone :( Feel like absolute **** Encouragement and guidance?

June 5, 2015

Hey all for those who havent read my story link here:

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/530233-ex-fell-out-love-salvageable

SO here i am 5.5weeks NC post BU. God damn its been a struggle.

The first month i thought i was going to die. Tbh there were days where the overwhelming feelings pushed me very close. I stopped eating, sleeping, became paralyzed and couldnt even function as a human being. I lost all my self respect and dignity and became the lowest state i have ever been in.

Every day was a fight to the next and some days the emotions were so bad i felt almost psychotic...thinking of running to her place and screaming at her BUT i didnt. No matter how overwhelming the emotions got i never broke NC or attempted anything stupid.

The last 2 weeks have changed alot for me. Although right now i cant do too much coz i have finals and been stressed with study, my state as a human has improved. I can actually sleep at night, i dont get panic attacks in the middle of the night, i can get up and **** and brush my teeth and most importantly i eat normally now and exercise regularly.

Despite this its still incredibly difficult every single day. Since day 1 the pain is worst in the morning when i wake up. I used to wake up with a heavy pain in my chest that would paralyze me for hours but now i just get up and feel **** but without the pain in my chest.

I can say i certainly have gone through the stages of the dumpee. The last couple of weeks have been a mix of anger and grief.

The biggest problem i have atm is i am in a state where im like holy **** this is actually happening, this is actually real. Alot of ups and downs, mainly downs and the hardest part is when the negative thoughts/fears hit me out of no where. Iv become better at dodging the thoughts before they cycle but still get days where i cycle those thoughts. You guys know what im talking bout, the conversations we still have with the ex going over the situation and trying to find some logical explanation, seeing them with some else in the future, asking why why why, old happy memories.

Things just got really overwhelming today coz i realised that we are really not together and this is real. IT hurts so much realising they changed from the person you loved so much to someone who said with so much conviction that they dont want to be with you, they dont want to be in a relationship with you and they dont love you anymore.

I feel so down and in a state of limbo where sometimes i dont even understand what im doing. Encouragement guidance advice please!

June 5, 2015

I know how you feel.

It has been a rollercoaster of emotions for me too but you have to know it will get better. You will not be like this forever.

Stick with NC and we should all be fine

June 5, 2015

Facing a breakup myself this week.

Sounds like what you need is a bit of inspiration?

Today, i was looking for a song on YouTube to use in reference for a different thread on this site.

Just by chance i found something incredible! And i have to say, i never knew music like this even existed in the world......It is mind blowingly inspirational, i have been listening to it over and over all day,,,, and i never did that ever in my life, i always thought people who listen to the same song over and over are stupid,,, now I'm one of them!! lol

the song is 'Anyway' by Martina McBride;

June 5, 2015

Wow, your thought process has been exactly like mine recently!

Although my relationship wasn't that long, and that 'co-dependant stale stage' of the relationship only happened for about 2 weeks, I can still relate!

It's a horrible feeling, knowing that yeah, you had a little rough patch of negativity and insecurity for a couple weeks, but ultimately think everything is fine and them BOOM, dumped and are in complete shock.

Have a look at my story mate, I think we can relate: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/530753-much-appreciated

Keep up with NC and it will get easier. I think you need to 'let go of hope' and that will help you move forward. Although you're in NC, you still believe deep down that she will come back and you want that to happen. Try not to, try focus on yourself only and IF she does come back, you are in control. WIN WIN situation.

I wish you luck buddy, I know how hard it is.

June 5, 2015

Sometimes i just feel like i cant go on. I feel like i have improved from when this all began but day after day its so difficult. Some days are just unbearable and im left with so many emotions like confusion, what do i do now, anger sadness, frustration. I am constantly having an internal war with myself i feel like my heart is being held hostage.

June 5, 2015

Wow, your thought process has been exactly like mine recently!

Although my relationship wasn't that long, and that 'co-dependant stale stage' of the relationship only happened for about 2 weeks, I can still relate!

It's a horrible feeling, knowing that yeah, you had a little rough patch of negativity and insecurity for a couple weeks, but ultimately think everything is fine and them BOOM, dumped and are in complete shock.

Have a look at my story mate, I think we can relate: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/530753-much-appreciated

Keep up with NC and it will get easier. I think you need to 'let go of hope' and that will help you move forward. Although you're in NC, you still believe deep down that she will come back and you want that to happen. Try not to, try focus on yourself only and IF she does come back, you are in control. WIN WIN situation.

I wish you luck buddy, I know how hard it is.

Thankyou for the kind words!

Yea its been tough iv been suffering alot longer coz when she got bak from the wedding she wanted to end it but we tried to work on things for 2 months. That whole time i was a distant stranger and it didnt feel right. Following a drunk fight with her after a date and me losing my temper she ended it 2 days later.

Fast foward 5.5weeks from the BU and here i am! Your right i have that natural feeling of hope that we all have but its so hard to not feel it

June 5, 2015

I'm sorry to hear that your going through this. Me and my ex split almost a month ago and I'm still hurting. Nc was almost impossible at first seeing as we were still very much attracted to each other, her kids and I were VERY close, and she lived like three houses down. She up and decided to move away one day, and I though to myself "well yeah this is for the best." but as soon as I saw her drive away, I felt as if she was breaking up with me all over again. I had I've had crazy highs and lows as well. Just know it will keep getting easier.

June 5, 2015

OP, I can truly empathize. Break ups shake us to the core. Although you feel awful now, it's good that you recognize the progress you have made. This will continue very slowly and steady, with a few off days in between, but sure enough it will continue to get better. It's good you have accepted its over, this is one thing I've struggled with. I wouldn't go back to my ex but even now I wonder if he will ever get in touch again. The best advice I can give is to just ride this storm. Don't bottle it up, just face the pain head on. If you can do that, you're healing so much that you don't even know hugs to you x

June 6, 2015

OP, I can truly empathize. Break ups shake us to the core. Although you feel awful now, it's good that you recognize the progress you have made. This will continue very slowly and steady, with a few off days in between, but sure enough it will continue to get better. It's good you have accepted its over, this is one thing I've struggled with. I wouldn't go back to my ex but even now I wonder if he will ever get in touch again. The best advice I can give is to just ride this storm. Don't bottle it up, just face the pain head on. If you can do that, you're healing so much that you don't even know hugs to you x

Thankyou Meli22 its so hard isnt it hurting everyday but not even knowing that your healing. I cant say iv fully accepted it, lyk you i do still wonder if she will get in touch. 6 weeks after a BU isnt long is it especially since we were together for 3 years? Its difficult to tell if im actually doing okay i feel so lost at times

June 6, 2015

I was at 6 weeks, broke NC with my exgf of 3.5years. She met up, we had dinner and she told me she had almost moved on completely and doesn't feel sad anymore. I then got a bit sad and said a few things which got her angry and she left me. The end result was: breaking NC is a bad idea and should never be done unless the other party wants back with you, I had to learnt the hard way, I'm back to day 2 NC. Keep going strong! I hope to get to NC forever this time round.

June 6, 2015

I was at 6 weeks, broke NC with my exgf of 3.5years. She met up, we had dinner and she told me she had almost moved on completely and doesn't feel sad anymore. I then got a bit sad and said a few things which got her angry and she left me. The end result was: breaking NC is a bad idea and should never be done unless the other party wants back with you, I had to learnt the hard way, I'm back to day 2 NC. Keep going strong! I hope to get to NC forever this time round.

Thanx Imbax im sorry to hear that happened! Yea i think keeping at NC is the best i mean even at 6 weeks i still feel **** and emotional albeit nowhere near as unstable as the 1st month! I hope the same for you keep going i hope we can all get through this!

June 6, 2015

Heys guys just a quick update and need to vent

I got up this morning and today is a horrible day. Couldnt even get out of bed the overwhelming feeling was this is real and this is actually happening. Today i havent seen her for almost 6 weeks and i just feel empty. If you have read my story 2months leading upto the break up we tried to work things out coz she wanted to break up when she got back from a wedding. Those 2months were absolute hell and i was a complete stranger the whole time fighting so hard but she was so distant and i hardly saw her or hung out with her coz she needed space. It just didnt feel right the whole time i know coz it was a complete 180 from the 3 years we have spent.

One thing i left out is that at the end of the 2months of working things out we went out our first proper dress up dinner date. Right up until then it was just meet ups and movies at my place. I was so nervous for this date and it just went wrong we turned up and although had a reservation had to wait for 30min. Had dinner and drunk sum wine and i found myself trying so hard to get her attention. Made her a napkin flower and everything but it just didnt feel good tbh. We then went to a bar and she still felt very distant and back to my house to drink with some friends. While we wer drunk i asked for a kiss and got one then asked for another one and she said no. I replied why not and she said im not ready yet and yelled at me i told you im not in love with you anymore!

I duno what happened but all of the frustration from 2months of wandering what went wrong with us and feeling lyk a stranger and all the stress just came out. I exploded and punched a wall next to her and proceeded to throw a bowl through a window at my flat. Not good.

She screamed and tried to leave but in my drunken state i realised i ****ed up and tried to stop her while apolgising etc. She was screaming i want out of this nightmare just let me go! She ran to her place 10min away and i proceeded to run after her. Friends ran with us and stayed with her then i left hers. Then 2 days later the BU happened as i said earlier in this post.

I guess the biggest thing i feel is guilt and regret for the outburst. She said hates the sin and not the sinner and doesnt hold it against me and knows that it was justified my frustration. But she said it really scared her and she thought she was next and has never seen me like that. What haunts her is that at the point she wanted to leave we clashed coz she wanted to go and i wouldnt let her. Also when she got home she felt numb and cold and was crying hysterically and shaking and that feeling of panic haunts her.

This whole event i felt i just made the situation 100 times worse. I just cant let it go it could have ended more peacefully. This is because i asked her are you breaking up because of what i did? She said no i wanted to break up since before the 2months we have been trying to work things out wen i got back from the wedding. Deep down she knew the whole 2months we were trying that she didnt want to be with me anymore but did it for the sake of us. Sh said prior to the date she was going to sit me down the week after anyway regardless if i broke the window or not.

Everyone tells me that she was already on her way out the door and breaking the window and the outburst just sped up the process she was gona do a week later anyway.

The guilt is just eating me up coz i kno it could have ended peacefully a week later had i not done what i did and now i feel lyk that negative event has added to why she thinks the BU is right even though its not the reason for her breaking up. Its absolutely driving me nuts and i feel so alone and lonely and was just thinking about her and how could we go from 3 years to being complete strangers. It hurts so much and today for the first time in a really long time i felt so upset and hurt i was getting those dark dying feelings again

June 6, 2015

Hey Phil,

I read your story and even though you and I (and most people for that matter) have such different tales we all have similar thoughts, fears and recovery processes and I completely feel what you're going through. Firstly take a deep breath and remind yourself of what you do have. You can breath right? You got 2 arms and 2 legs? You got a house to live in? Food to eat? That's a good start.

The thing to recognize is that the road back to finding yourself is going to be gradual. It's also going to have potholes in it and even though you have shown great improvement there's gonna be days where you don't feel as good as yesterday. Know that not every day is going to be an amazing epiphany and what you regressed to today is normal.

Any fool can tell that you loved this girl with all your heart, this is why you replay it over and over again because you care so much about this relationship and deep inside you're telling yourself that maybe if you hadn't gotten angry that night that maybe you'd still have a chance. I can't absolve you of what you did but I can tell you that it likely won't have any bearing on your future.

The thing here is that your ex made up her mind a while ago that she didn't want to continue in the relationship. That's not to say that you're a bad person or you don't have value. Cos that's not true at all and don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise. She had her reasons and unfortunately they may not make sense but that's what she believes right now. Personally, my opinion is that if you're meant to be together then she would never ever let someone who cares that much for her leave her side. Reality hit home a little too hard today and my heart goes out to you for the anguish you feel, but know that every moment it hurts now is going to be one less speed bump to get over before you meet the person you're going to spend the rest of your life with.

So keep your head up, even if you feel like you're shattered, helpless and useless. Cos you know what it's like to love someone with everything you've got and that's the greatest gift you can get from this relationship. You hit a pothole today, just keep driving and the light will appear at the end of the tunnel. Go and talk with a close friend of loved one and you'll know quickly how much care people have for you.

June 6, 2015

Hey Phil,

I read your story and even though you and I (and most people for that matter) have such different tales we all have similar thoughts, fears and recovery processes and I completely feel what you're going through. Firstly take a deep breath and remind yourself of what you do have. You can breath right? You got 2 arms and 2 legs? You got a house to live in? Food to eat? That's a good start.

The thing to recognize is that the road back to finding yourself is going to be gradual. It's also going to have potholes in it and even though you have shown great improvement there's gonna be days where you don't feel as good as yesterday. Know that not every day is going to be an amazing epiphany and what you regressed to today is normal.

Any fool can tell that you loved this girl with all your heart, this is why you replay it over and over again because you care so much about this relationship and deep inside you're telling yourself that maybe if you hadn't gotten angry that night that maybe you'd still have a chance. I can't absolve you of what you did but I can tell you that it likely won't have any bearing on your future.

The thing here is that your ex made up her mind a while ago that she didn't want to continue in the relationship. That's not to say that you're a bad person or you don't have value. Cos that's not true at all and don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise. She had her reasons and unfortunately they may not make sense but that's what she believes right now. Personally, my opinion is that if you're meant to be together then she would never ever let someone who cares that much for her leave her side. Reality hit home a little too hard today and my heart goes out to you for the anguish you feel, but know that every moment it hurts now is going to be one less speed bump to get over before you meet the person you're going to spend the rest of your life with.

So keep your head up, even if you feel like you're shattered, helpless and useless. Cos you know what it's like to love someone with everything you've got and that's the greatest gift you can get from this relationship. You hit a pothole today, just keep driving and the light will appear at the end of the tunnel. Go and talk with a close friend of loved one and you'll know quickly how much care people have for you.

Lost6 i dont even have words for what you said...your post really tugged on heart strings thankyou so much for your words and advice. This post actually made me cry but gave me a sense of better understanding and hope for my personal well being. I really needed to hear this, sometimes the overwhelming hurt just blinds me but this has helped me with the pothole i hit today

June 6, 2015

Mate I just got told by my fiancé 2 weeks before the wedding that she couldn't see a future with me after 6 years of mostly loving memories together. 6 weeks ago I had everything in my future lined up and in an instant it vanished. Believe me I know exactly every emotion and thought coursing through you right now, the embarrassment, the guilt, the desperate longing for what you once had and I know how bad you can slip into your own thoughts of what ifs and replaying very mistake in your head to see what you did wrong. I've been in the darkest pits of my own personal hell and while I'm getting better I'm still a long way away from recovery. Here's a few words I have to keep telling myself when I start blaming myself.

All you need to ask yourself is did you love and respect her throughout the relationship? If your answer was no then I'm sorry I can't help you. But if you can honestly look at yourself and say you gave your heart wholly to the time you had together then that's all you need to hold your head up. You're bound to make mistakes so don't beat yourself up over them, but if your destiny was with her then she wouldn't have let you go no matter what (cheaters and abusers not withstanding, those who fit in this category can go suck an egg) flaws she found in you cos that's what love really is. It's not this fairytale that doesn't know hurt or pain. It's two people deciding that they'll face it head on and together. If destiny brings you together again and you still want it then all the best, but if not then learn from your mistakes and make sure you don't close your heart off to the next person you're with, the person that deserves your love and will love you for everything that you are.

June 6, 2015

Mate I just got told by my fiancé 2 weeks before the wedding that she couldn't see a future with me after 6 years of mostly loving memories together. 6 weeks ago I had everything in my future lined up and in an instant it vanished. Believe me I know exactly every emotion and thought coursing through you right now, the embarrassment, the guilt, the desperate longing for what you once had and I know how bad you can slip into your own thoughts of what ifs and replaying very mistake in your head to see what you did wrong. I've been in the darkest pits of my own personal hell and while I'm getting better I'm still a long way away from recovery. Here's a few words I have to keep telling myself when I start blaming myself.

All you need to ask yourself is did you love and respect her throughout the relationship? If your answer was no then I'm sorry I can't help you. But if you can honestly look at yourself and say you gave your heart wholly to the time you had together then that's all you need to hold your head up. You're bound to make mistakes so don't beat yourself up over them, but if your destiny was with her then she wouldn't have let you go no matter what (cheaters and abusers not withstanding, those who fit in this category can go suck an egg) flaws she found in you cos that's what love really is. It's not this fairytale that doesn't know hurt or pain. It's two people deciding that they'll face it head on and together. If destiny brings you together again and you still want it then all the best, but if not then learn from your mistakes and make sure you don't close your heart off to the next person you're with, the person that deserves your love and will love you for everything that you are.

Im so incredibly sorry this happened to you lost6 Although it may not be the same i understand that feeling of having everything snatched from you. I had planned a future and saw a life with her and wanted to marry her then her feelings just changed and didnt want to know me anymore. Those emotions you described i go through on a daily basis and it can really get mentally exhausting.

Do you feel the anger? I get so angry because we had such good loving times and it hurts so much that when the going got touch she just bailed on me. I kno i played my part in suffocating her and running to her but for an entire year she just said nothing about me causing her unhappiness and feeling trapped. Its so frustrating i just feel like the decision was made for me and an entire year she could have said something but didnt because 1. Knew i was going through something and didnt want to put her problems on me 2. Felt like a bitch if she had to say no to me coming over for comfort and throwing me to the lions 3. Cared about me and didnt want to hurt me by saying anything.

God it has driven me up the wall

Im trying so hard to accept the mistakes i made and not blame myself, i really did give it my all.

Edited June 6, 2015 by philsach890
Missed some things

June 6, 2015

i really did give it my all.

And that's what you need to realize. You did and it wasn't enough. It happens to everyone. We've all been in relationships that we suddenly just didn't feel it anymore or the love faded. We then ended the relationship. We can't blame folks nor be angry when this transpires. Ok, we be can be angry but as soon as you find acceptance in this outcome, the sooner you'll find peace and be able to move forward.

As far as your final fight where you broke the window, I wouldn't worry about it anymore for a second. She's was checked out and leaving you before that happened anyway. Everyone's done emotional things like this so stop beating yourself up.

Accept that relationship is over. Stay NC and you will heal quicker and find peach and happiness again. Learn from this last relationship what you can and then think about your next love being out there living her life waiting to meet you.

June 7, 2015

For those that have been in a LTR and saw a future and planned out a life etc how do you guys deal with having that happiness and future snatched away?

One thing that im having alot of difficulty dealing with is knowing that she will be with someone else that will provide that happiness that i couldnt and share the things that i wanted to share and have. Its the one thing that tears my heart up the most especially when those thoughts hit you and you see that image in your head.

I try not think about and i dont actively do it but its just something that hits me out of nowhere at times and it really hurts like hell

June 9, 2015

Thank god for giving me a place to vent my feelings!

6 weeks no contact post BU and i have no intention of breaking it and the urges become less and less. I have the odd day where i get so angry i want to call and send a really angry text but i manage to talk my self out of it every single time.

Every day feels **** and there are the days where its hard but im pretty good at dodging thoughts and keeping my mind away. Then there are the REALLY BAD DAYS like today where every negative thing hits you and you cant talk yourself out of it no matter how hard you try.

I find that each day im battling myself internally over a different issue:

Some days thoughts of happy times and things about her i miss would hit me
Other days its scenarios my mind randomnly creates where im having those conversations with her trying to find answers
Scenarios of things i fear especially future and all the negative things that surrounded the situation and BU
Scenarios of her talking to close friends and family about me and the situation.

I found as part of this whole grief process its basically just a battle with yourself, negativity and the things that you fear and make you uncomfortable. Its SO MENTALLY EXHAUSTING and today all of the above was hitting me so it was impossible to talk myself out of it i just had to ride it out. Found myself really emotionally and crying my eyes out for the first time ages but it was better to let it all out.

Iv been feeling angry most days now. Angry that she changed from the person i knew and loved so much to a complete stranger who doesnt want to know me. Angry that she did this to me and just abandoned me. Everyday is a fight and it gets so frustrating with her constantly on my mind. Im just sooooo angry i saw and planned a future and everything with her and it was taken from me.

Any positive comments and opinions guys!

June 9, 2015

Thank god for giving me a place to vent my feelings!

6 weeks no contact post BU and i have no intention of breaking it and the urges become less and less. I have the odd day where i get so angry i want to call and send a really angry text but i manage to talk my self out of it every single time.

Every day feels **** and there are the days where its hard but im pretty good at dodging thoughts and keeping my mind away. Then there are the REALLY BAD DAYS like today where every negative thing hits you and you cant talk yourself out of it no matter how hard you try.

I find that each day im battling myself internally over a different issue:

Some days thoughts of happy times and things about her i miss would hit me
Other days its scenarios my mind randomnly creates where im having those conversations with her trying to find answers
Scenarios of things i fear especially future and all the negative things that surrounded the situation and BU
Scenarios of her talking to close friends and family about me and the situation.

I found as part of this whole grief process its basically just a battle with yourself, negativity and the things that you fear and make you uncomfortable. Its SO MENTALLY EXHAUSTING and today all of the above was hitting me so it was impossible to talk myself out of it i just had to ride it out. Found myself really emotionally and crying my eyes out for the first time ages but it was better to let it all out.

Iv been feeling angry most days now. Angry that she changed from the person i knew and loved so much to a complete stranger who doesnt want to know me. Angry that she did this to me and just abandoned me. Everyday is a fight and it gets so frustrating with her constantly on my mind. Im just sooooo angry i saw and planned a future and everything with her and it was taken from me.

Any positive comments and opinions guys!

We are in the same boat buddy. I had been in a 6/7 year relationship with my ex who cheated and dumped me for someone else.

Every day is a living hell. I do everything you mentioned above and yes I feel like **** that she snatched all my dreams. Everything that I had planned to do with her was snatched away from me and she is going to do that with her new guy.

But we have to go through this. There's no magic button that we can push to make it all ok. We have to accept that this is a process that will take some time. We loved them with all our heart and this is why we're feeling like crap when they left.

Stick with your NC, buddy and you shall be fine. I am doing just that too.

June 9, 2015

We are in the same boat buddy. I had been in a 6/7 year relationship with my ex who cheated and dumped me for someone else.

Every day is a living hell. I do everything you mentioned above and yes I feel like **** that she snatched all my dreams. Everything that I had planned to do with her was snatched away from me and she is going to do that with her new guy.

But we have to go through this. There's no magic button that we can push to make it all ok. We have to accept that this is a process that will take some time. We loved them with all our heart and this is why we're feeling like crap when they left.

Stick with your NC, buddy and you shall be fine. I am doing just that too.

I feel you brother i really do im sorry for the pain your going through I think thats the most difficult thing accepting the whole situation. I mean especially with LTRs there is just such a ridiculous amount of attachment as they became so embedded in our lives, literally became a part of us.

For me its a combination of a push pull type of effect. One day your doing not too bad and pushing out the thoughts and spending time with loved ones, friends, family and other days you get sucked right back in and start obsessing and feeling the worst hurt imaginable.

There are also days when realization hits you and you think holy F*** this is real and is actually happening.

Thankyou for your words i will keep up with NC and let time heal the pain

Who else can relate with their day to day struggle? Do you guys go through similar thought processes?

Edited June 9, 2015 by philsach890

June 9, 2015

Exactly the same mate. After having a relatively positive week last week and a great weekend, after stalking her and finally deleting her from FB and my phone, the realisation of 'oh **** this is actually done' comes into play and makes me feel like $hit.

The last 2 days have been hard, yesterday after work I went with mates to go buy a backpack for our trip next month, went out for a lovely dinner, yet all I could think about was her in my dress. It sucked.

Stay strong buddy

June 9, 2015

Exactly the same mate. After having a relatively positive week last week and a great weekend, after stalking her and finally deleting her from FB and my phone, the realisation of 'oh **** this is actually done' comes into play and makes me feel like $hit.

The last 2 days have been hard, yesterday after work I went with mates to go buy a backpack for our trip next month, went out for a lovely dinner, yet all I could think about was her in my dress. It sucked.

Stay strong buddy

Thanks Yummm i really admire how you keep positive and busy through the tough times, it gives me motivation in my hardest times to keep pushing on. Good on you for deleting her off fb i think thats a big step in the right direction and will help alot with healing. Iv done the same and just try not to even use fb at all its a killer!

I get those days aswel when im with friends trying to enjoy myself and the whole time the situation is on my mind. Feel like a prisoner you know i just want to enjoy myself without feeling chained up in some way

Aww man i can relate with the dress actually...well i gave her an iphone 5 that i fixed up that a mate give me half broken for free...gave it to her the night of the date that i later broke the window. Yea she kept it and messes me up thinking who shes texting but i never let my mind go that far now-a-days.

June 9, 2015

Yes mate, it is really hard. It's like she has some sort of chain on my life, but in reality she doesn't.

Ultimately, what makes us unhappy? Our thoughts, we are in control of our thoughts and whether we relate to them with a positive or negative attitude. It's just so hard to control and turn them into a positive one.

Realistically, our ex's are probably not even giving us the time of day in their head, so why should we give them ours. Yes, perhaps they miss us at times when they are lonely but they made the decision to choose the loneliness over our relationship, so why can't we just snap out of it?!

The mind is a powerful, powerful thing. I felt empowered last week when she messaged me twice and I ignored her, this week I feel powerless, what an emotional rollercoaster

June 9, 2015

It really helps to just read other stories or other opinions on LS to get your mind off those things. I do it now all the time. I feel exactly the same as you and I really miss my ex in my life but then i go read topics like yours on LS and knowing your not alone really helps. We should be happy we lost our exes because they don't want us in their lives so we shouldn't want them either. Good bye to our exes, we're moving on like you and i'm sorry but the there are better girls than you.

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3 years gone :( Feel like absolute **** Encouragement and guidance?

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