Author jsp32020 Posted June 17, 2015 Author Share Posted June 17, 2015 OP, does your girlfriend believe that if people aren't Christian they'll go to hell? If that's the case, it's going to be quite difficult to convince her to raise your child to be open minded on the topic. That's a good question. She, like many other Christians I've got into discussions with about my views can become a little hostile and flustered the longer the conversation goes, but I'm going to guess that she may say that people of other faiths can go to heaven, but if I asked her about that not being true according to her faith she would get defensive and not want to outright say it. That's something I will have to ask her, I was going to have this talk last night until came home to find her on the phone with my mom and tensions between the two had risen to DEFCON 2. A topic for another section lol... Link to post Share on other sites
autumnnight Posted June 17, 2015 Share Posted June 17, 2015 That's a good question. She, like many other Christians I've got into discussions with about my views can become a little hostile and flustered the longer the conversation goes, but I'm going to guess that she may say that people of other faiths can go to heaven, but if I asked her about that not being true according to her faith she would get defensive and not want to outright say it. That's something I will have to ask her, I was going to have this talk last night until came home to find her on the phone with my mom and tensions between the two had risen to DEFCON 2. A topic for another section lol... Actually, as someone very familiar with child development, the topic of hell is a non--issue for quite awhile, and even when a child is old enough for it to have meaning, it still doesn't have to be contentious. People like to bring up hell because it is a hot-button issue (pun intended), but I talk about my faith a LOT, and I almost never ever even use the word hell. Link to post Share on other sites
GoBlue Posted June 17, 2015 Share Posted June 17, 2015 Here's the real dilemma - your girlfriend says she is a Christian but she doesn't live the lifestyle. Hence, the confusion between "religion," organized or not, and true experience. Someone wrote earlier how perplexed they are with women who consider themselves "Christian" and then end up pursuing a "non-Christian" in a relationship, one that inevitably leads to sexual contact. I am equally perplexed by this issue as a Christian myself. So, here the two of you are, where everyone knew you would end up once the relationship became sexual and a child was produced. The one fact that you have to be ready for is this, she does not view you as an equal in the parenting of this child (not yet anyway). You are not married, which in her mind means "not committed." Mothers are very protective and they truly believe that they always know what is best for their child. He will be taught her believes whether you are for it or not. You are just as responsible for this situation as she is. You pursued her, you engaged with her in sexual activity, you decided to live with her. You knew about your "unbelief" and you also knew about her "Christianity" (as marginal as it is). So, now there is a little boy that the two of you produced, caught in the middle, and probably always will be. He will make up his own mind eventually, so the question is, what will become of his mom and dad and their relationship? Will they love one another and respect their differences while doing everything they can to be the best parents possible? Will they simply "separate" and raise a child in two homes because they allowed their "differences" to get in the way - even though those differences weren't enough to keep them from producing this child in the first place? There is nothing easy about this situation. I respect every person's right to form their own opinion about what they accept as "truth," but it really irritates me when someone says they believe one thing while they live something completely different. Here we are again, a child caught in the middle, and his parents not sure they even love each other enough to commit to one another. I firmly believe that God always blesses any family that decides to love one another and do what is best for the family unit. Each member of that family doesn't even have to believe in Him to have His protection and blessing. I don't tell people what to do but I have said a prayer for you. May your heart guide you and may true love always be the basis of your relationship with your son and his mom. Blessings be yours! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author jsp32020 Posted June 17, 2015 Author Share Posted June 17, 2015 The one fact that you have to be ready for is this, she does not view you as an equal in the parenting of this child (not yet anyway). You are not married, which in her mind means "not committed." Mothers are very protective and they truly believe that they always know what is best for their child. He will be taught her believes whether you are for it or not. You bring up a good point that we've butted heads about before with other areas of raising him. You are just as responsible for this situation as she is. You pursued her, you engaged with her in sexual activity, you decided to live with her. Yes I take full accountability, I don't want to make it out to be all her, I played the game and this is where we're at. Thanks for your input. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jsp32020 Posted June 17, 2015 Author Share Posted June 17, 2015 Actually, as someone very familiar with child development, the topic of hell is a non--issue for quite awhile, and even when a child is old enough for it to have meaning, it still doesn't have to be contentious. People like to bring up hell because it is a hot-button issue (pun intended), but I talk about my faith a LOT, and I almost never ever even use the word hell. Obviously the subject doesn't and probably won't ever come up, but I can't help but to wonder that she quietly views me as some lost heathen, inevitably she must feel my soul is lost and won't wind up in the right place. Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted June 17, 2015 Share Posted June 17, 2015 Actually, as someone very familiar with child development, the topic of hell is a non--issue for quite awhile, and even when a child is old enough for it to have meaning, it still doesn't have to be contentious. People like to bring up hell because it is a hot-button issue (pun intended), but I talk about my faith a LOT, and I almost never ever even use the word hell. Speaking from personal experience in a home with a Christian mother and agnostic father, I did worry about my father's soul a lot as a child. But my mother's church may have been more "brimstone and fire" than most, at least I hope it was. It depends on the church and the doctrine, but I can attest that it can be upsetting to a child. Link to post Share on other sites
autumnnight Posted June 17, 2015 Share Posted June 17, 2015 Obviously the subject doesn't and probably won't ever come up, but I can't help but to wonder that she quietly views me as some lost heathen, inevitably she must feel my soul is lost and won't wind up in the right place. I hope this doesn't sound like a slam on her...but if she was really that concerned about it, her best course of action would have been to follow the Scripture she claims to believe that mentions not being "unequally yoked." She can't "yoke" with you and then turn around and act superior. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
autumnnight Posted June 17, 2015 Share Posted June 17, 2015 Speaking from personal experience in a home with a Christian mother and agnostic father, I did worry about my father's soul a lot as a child. But my mother's church may have been more "brimstone and fire" than most, at least I hope it was. It depends on the church and the doctrine, but I can attest that it can be upsetting to a child. My best friend had 2 agnostic parents, and she worried about them. She prayed for them. I don;t think that was necessarily a bad thing or that it was an indictment against Christianity. Link to post Share on other sites
Weezy1973 Posted June 18, 2015 Share Posted June 18, 2015 Actually, as someone very familiar with child development, the topic of hell is a non--issue for quite awhile, and even when a child is old enough for it to have meaning, it still doesn't have to be contentious. People like to bring up hell because it is a hot-button issue (pun intended), but I talk about my faith a LOT, and I almost never ever even use the word hell. Haha! Hot-button... But, first, I wasn't saying it would be an issue for the child, but if the mother thought that unless her child was a Christian she would go to hell, it would definitely be an issue for the mother. Mom's will fight off bears for their children - there's no telling what they'd do to prevent their children from spending eternity in damnation, or at the very least not getting saved. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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