24 YOF too co-dependant on mom. ?

[Tayla]

Ironic isn't it? That each generation wants to make things easier for the next and then turn around and gripe that they succeeded in making it easier for them?

 

You are within your right to expect that certain house rules be abided by when ALL are discussed in a rational adult manner. Again I will ask, How open was the conversation? Or did you simply direct and demand without hearing out her side or her feedback. Its ultimately up to her how she behaves and abides. You can be part of the solution or part of the problem. Based solely on the opinion expressed here, I sense you are more of a take charge and not a guiding force.

[amaysngrace]

People with depression go out to avoid being home alone to think. I don't know why you're making such a big deal about her being able to go out if she's so depressed.

 

How about seeing what she does right for a change and verbalize that to her once in a while rather than only pointing out her shortcomings to her?

 

Focus on the positive and she's likely to too.

 

Also, her mom taking control of her finances isn't teaching her a thing other than Mommy will take care of it if I mess up.

 

The Mom treats her like a child and you complain that she acts like one. When you're constantly doing for your kids you either raise them to be givers like you or you raise them to be takers. Those are your options.

 

I think your wife needs to learn how to set boundaries, not for her daughter but for herself, and that would serve all of you well. Her bending over backwards to appease her kid isn't doing anybody a favor. She may need help learning how to unlearn her own unhealthy behaviors if she truly wants to help her child because what she's doing now is getting her the exact opposite result that she desires.

[darkmoon]

some mothers are there as guides when daughters are even in their thirties, you will not manage to intervene

[littleplanet]

Thanks for the replies so far everyone. I know this is a complicated matter and issue that has no easy resolution.

 

 

My GF understands and is recognizing more now that she's culpable in some of this girls co-dependency. She's a loving mother with a huge heart. She feels "bad" that this girls father has been absent from this girls life and is a real POS. Her second husband (girls step father) was also not good to this kid and contributed to her low self esteem. I know she feels like her mother didn't defend her enough to her ex-step father. As a result, she's over compensated in allowing too much of this behavior from her daughter. We had a long conversation about my belief that's she enabling her daughter too much. While she agrees with this, she also is worried that her daughter will "give up" and hurt herself or kill herself. I think she's catastrophizing her thinking. I'm gently suggesting to her that SHE has to be firmer in holding expectations and accountability with her daughter or nothing is going to change. I bought a book suggested to me by several people on co-dependency for her. The woman at Barnes and Noble said it's THE book to help in situations like this. Now the hard part is my GF has to follow thru with reading it and making changes.

 

 

Her daughter and I had a "come to Jesus" meeting a few days ago that included her Mom. We all sat down and discussed the situation. I made it CRYSTAL clear that I would NEVER accept her slob behavior in my home. I also made it clear to her that it was horrifically disrespectful to me and her Mom while we are trying to help her get back on her feet and allowing her to live in my home for free to save $. The daughter agreed it's a big problem for her and she's trying to address it. I made the point that this is been going on for years yet she's not valuing her mothers opinion in not addressing it. We also discussed that this negative behavior has already caused her to lose her last place she lived at as the family asked her to leave their home as a result.

 

 

I'm letting things settle down for a few days and then will address an exit strategy with her Mom with a deadline for her to be out of this house. My GF has a lot on her plate with long days and stress. I really think it's easier on her to simply let the daughter live here vs. all the work it's going to take to get her back out, back on her feet. I need to stay on her so SHE doesn't continue to be complacent with this situation.

 

 

Littleplanet-

 

 

I get what you're saying. You and I are clearly from a different generation. I was told to leave my house in my late teens. I was making plenty of $ to live on my own and was being greedy and staying there to have more $ to spend. My Mom said "oh hell no".. It's time to leave the nest and stand on your own two feet. I moved out. Like all kids that age, I struggled with $ to pay my bills. I lived paycheck to paycheck. I went days of eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches cause that's all I had in my apartment. But I learned from the experience and it made me a better person. It allowed me to understand the importance of managing a budget.

 

 

This generation of kids has had everything given to them. The don't understand the value of money and what it takes to earn it. They do feel entitled and expect their parents to do everything for them. They want everything NOW and don't want to work for it.

 

 

My neighbor is a great guy. He has two middle teen boys in HS. He is recovering from a brain tumor and is on disability. I see him out mowing his yard, struggling. I help him. We've gotten to know each other well. I one day asked why his kids are not out there doing the yard work. He actually looked horrified at the suggestion. He said they are both great students and he'd rather have them in the house studying. He made other excuses for them as well. He then bought one of the kids a used car. I've never seen those kids take the trash can to the street nor do anything else around that house. And, we wonder why are kids are turning out the way they are..

 

 

As I mentioned before, this is becoming such a huge problem for many parents. It doesn't help that my GF's work buddy has a 21-22 YO in the same boat. As I mentioned, this kid is also simply complacent in living w/her parents, working 15 hours a week, not doing much around the house unless asked and expecting her Mom to pay most of her bills. Her Mom bitches to my GF all the time about it but never addresses or corrects the behavior from her daughter. My GF thinks her Mom still likes her home, living w/her.. What's sad is she's not recognizing how bad this is for her daughter.

 

It took me a real voyage into adulthood - to finally admit to myself, and others.....that the real reason I didn't blow my life up at the age of 16.....with all that freedom - was that when I left, I already had the tools.

And I didn't grow them myself. They were put there, firmly in place, already. (By parents.) Only I didn't know it.

The.......applying of those tools (in part) is what caused me to leave.

And I didn't know that, either. I was just a dumb kid.

Who had already been ingrained with the tools of survival.

And what really grew those tools? Standards. Expectations. Rules. Codes of behavior. All that good..........adult, stuff.

 

And somewhere along the way, I learned that there is no such thing as a perfect parent. Or a perfect kid, for that matter. Or a perfect anything!

But the tools we use to make lives work - are the same old thing, over and over again.

You can put a hammer in someone's hand, and all they wind up doing is whacking their thumb, cursing a blue streak, and throwing the hammer down.

You put that same hammer in someone else's hand - and they wind up building a house. Maybe a good house.

 

Yes, different eras have different realities. Different causes and effects.

But standards are the things we use to try and string it all together. In a way that makes sense.

 

It is just wrong - that a kid grows up and will not examine their own conscience, and realize that being helpful.......is a simple source of decent human pride and dignity. To choose to live without that - is to just give up on oneself.

As if it were just that easy to "will" oneself to stop breathing.......

(Remember that? The tantrum of a three year-old.)

But then we grow...................and learn.................

 

My sons refer to me as an easygoing, mellow, forgiving, patient dad.

Easy, natural joking affability.

That's my stronger side.

Stronger yet - are the standards they know inside out.....have been applied, all their lives. I won't......"do" it, for them.

They are the pilots of their own ships.

I'm just the lighthouse, on the shore.

 

Why is it really? - that we're having such a problem with this in our 'modern' age?

A failed adult is such a sad thing. A wasted life.

Love was never supposed to be 'tough.'

But it's never enough either, all by itself.

At least not the external kind.

The internal kind........finishes the woodwork. The sanding, smoothing, varnish, polish. Held in the hand with no rough, no splinters.

Whatever the work of art is......complete enough.

 

Living is not the disorder, though at times I feel like it appears that way.

Human hearts don't often embrace a scientific dissemination of existence.

They're too............human, for that.

[pink_sugar]

OP, the way I see it, you have a few choices.

 

1. Accept it and get on with your own life. What she does isn't really any concern to you as long as chores are done and rent is paid. Who owns the house anyways?

 

2. Discuss with your GF about how you feel and be prepared that things might not change. You have only been together 2 years, this girl is an adult and you're not her daddy.

 

3. If the above fail, you can choose to walk away.

[aloneinaz]

OP, the way I see it, you have a few choices.

 

1. Accept it and get on with your own life. What she does isn't really any concern to you as long as chores are done and rent is paid. Who owns the house anyways?

 

 

 

 

This is my home that my GF moved into. I'm sorry to say that I can't accept anyone disrespecting both mine and their mothers cleaning expectations while living in my home that I've worked so hard for.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2. Discuss with your GF about how you feel and be prepared that things might not change. You have only been together 2 years, this girl is an adult and you're not her daddy.

 

 

 

 

She's been made very aware that I committed to helping her daughter by living here for free for a month or two. It's been 6 months now. I've been patient and understanding but.. as I've told my GF, we've now reached the stage of enabling her daughter by not putting further pressure on her to look for a new roommate and get back out on her own. My GF understands and I'm going to be patient a bit longer but, my expectation is that she's back on her own in the next month or two.

 

 

 

 

3. If the above fail, you can choose to walk away.

 

 

 

 

Clearly, this would be an option for sure. I am a type A personality and as anyone who knows what a type A is, we were not blessed with much in the patience area. This situation has certainly tested it, that's for sure.

 

 

Thanks again for everyone's opinions.

[Tread Carefully]

Ok, I'm going to give some suggestions that I don't think anyone has addressed yet.

 

First of all I would get her Thyroid checked. When those levels are off, even by a little bit, it can cause major problems. Such as weight gain and depression as well as low energy.

 

Second, she's on anti-depressants. Some of those can make you gain weight and impair your ability to lose it.

 

Imo, your gf needs to stop controlling her daughters money. It's not helping because she isn't learning how to budget, prioritize etc if someone else is doing it for her. That means that when she moves out she's going to fall on her face again. My parents did something amazing for me. I was in charge of my money but I had "bills". I paid them a weekly rent and a portion of the utilities plus all my own food. I was super pissed and thought they were mean as hell. BUT. It taught me how to live on my own, budget, prioritize etc. I also got charged a small "fee" if I screwed up my chores. Or in the daughters case...that would be her slobiness messes.

 

After 6 months of doing this I was more than ready to move out! I told my parents that I found a teeny tiny apartment that I could afford on my own. They were very proud of me and on my move out day they presented me with an envelope. Inside it was a check in the amount of the total rent, utilities and fees that I paid to them. Unbeknownst to me, every time I paid them, they put the money straight into a savings account. The result was a sweet nest egg. I learned a LOT from all of that. They knew that life has ups and downs and that I would stumble a few times. I was very grateful for that nest egg and for their tough love.

 

Maybe this would work for the 3 of you.

[Tayla]

tread carefully, interesting that your parents controlled your money by charging fees and charging for rents/bills. That created a tenant / landlord scenario. Sort of a jumping off point for you to learn I suppose. My steps did that but kept all the monies ... little did i know what rights i had as a tenant. there is no way i'd tolerate getting fined for not cleaning the dishes to "their" specifications. i would learn in life, choose your battles.

Will agree that the daughter does need some goals set to live independently. They need to be openly discussed and agreed upon. Sounds like the OP is trying to establish some structure to see that goals are met.

[SerCay]

This is my home that my GF moved into. I'm sorry to say that I can't accept anyone disrespecting both mine and their mothers cleaning expectations while living in my home that I've worked so hard for.

 

I feel that whenever parents start throwing around the actual WORD of disrespect, it is usually within themselves that something is missing.

 

Why do you feel disrespected by someone who has obvious mental issues and doesn't do it on purpose?

 

I would use more positive words and approaches OP, otherwise you will end up losing both ladies, or mother will lose her child. No relationship will bloom and no person will feel motivated by paying attention to the negative, constantly.

 

It's like telling a fat person they're fat, and they should stop eating, every time they have a meal. It will only cause them to feel bad about themselves, and make them eat more.

 

And to everyone that says "24 is not a child" > that depends. I was emotionally mature at 25. Independent by 27. Every person is different. These are all things to consider when you shack up with a parent.

[aloneinaz]

I feel that whenever parents start throwing around the actual WORD of disrespect, it is usually within themselves that something is missing.

 

Why do you feel disrespected by someone who has obvious mental issues and doesn't do it on purpose?

 

 

 

 

I probably use the word "disrespect" as it was used on me as a child by my father. He was a firm parent but fair. He set the expectations and followed up carefully. A favorite expression of his was "Gosh darn it (my name), if you can't do it right the first time, don't do it at all".. He kept his home and cars immaculate. Guess what I do now? The exact same. He instilled in me the value of possessions. He held my butt accountable.

 

 

 

 

I would use more positive words and approaches OP, otherwise you will end up losing both ladies, or mother will lose her child. No relationship will bloom and no person will feel motivated by paying attention to the negative, constantly.

 

It's like telling a fat person they're fat, and they should stop eating, every time they have a meal. It will only cause them to feel bad about themselves, and make them eat more.

 

 

 

You do make so valid points here. Her mother is besides herself as she's tried many different approaches over the years to no avail. This past weekend, her daughter was left at the house why my GF and I were out of town. We came home to find her daughter did nothing all weekend. She didn't clean anything or take the initiative to. She left the kitchen a bit dirty. Her laundry was in both the washer and dryer for us to move thru. Again, she was home all day Sat/Sun and simply laid around and watched TV the whole time. Her Mom laid into the next morning and she got defensive and argumentative. She just doesn't get it.. At times, I do wonder (not to sound mean) if she's just dumb? I simply couldn't imagine moving into my mothers BF's house at 24 years old after getting kicked out of the previous home by the owner due to her being a slob there. Then, continuing to be a slob at this home and have to be nagged about it, while living here for free?

 

 

I'd be ASKING what I can do to help on a daily basis while insuring I was doing everything asked of me.

[SerCay]

I'd be ASKING what I can do to help on a daily basis while insuring I was doing everything asked of me.

 

Here's the thing OP, you're referring to your own upbringing and to what you yourself would do in a situation like that. And by saying that, you've answered your own question...she is not you. She did not have your father.

 

Besides I think she hardly sees it as living with her mother's BF. I think she sees it as living with mom, since the two of you are a couple.

 

I would say that's a good thing, she doesn't feel you're an outsider.

 

If she was kicked ot of the previous homes she was in because she was a slob, she's probably suffering from underlying depressions. Those can go on for years, believe me. There are fully functioning depressed people out there.

 

So, how about, you and mom find her a place, help this girl a bit? Find her a place, keep providing emotional support, but be firm and let her know that you will not enable her financially.

 

She will slowly start to realize it's all her and start doing it maybe.

 

But I have to tell you OP, no offense, you have so little empathy for a poor depressed girl that I don't see it going to anything positive soon.

 

I'm sorry but please do realize that YOU have to change too. Your negative attitude and your intolerance and comparing her to yourself??? Nope, never gonna work. All you will do is alienate her.

[preraph]

First, you did a great thing making sure she got psychiatric help. But of course, that doesn't work overnight. She is depressed and in trouble, basically, and she's 24, not old enough to have many life skills. So she does need some help and support. And you'll have to be patient to see if they can get her meds right and get her back to work and get her her own place again.

 

You should all sit down with a long-term plan. 1) Get the depression under control and at the same time work on either retooling (school) for employment to increase her opportunities or get her working at something, anything for the time being. 2) Once she's stabilized, another pow-wow with her to see what she wants to do for work. If that is going nowhere, get her to take two part-time jobs. But now she's stabilized, she must be saving money to move out. 3) Knowing her finances, set a deadline for her to have her own place.

 

Psychiatric care should be continuous. She should try different meds for a couple of months each to find what really works as many of those have to build up in the system over time. Don't let her stop any meds without talking to the doctor first. 80% of psychiatric patients stop taking the drugs as prescribed and are responsible for their own lack of success in getting better.

 

You're part of the family. This is a young depressed woman. She hasn't much to look forward to. Once she has a money making job, you might suggest she volunteer doing something she thinks she'd really enjoy because that will help her self-esteem. Maybe a zoo or helping kids dress for their school dances and such (yes, there's a charity for that -- my friend loves doing it).

 

Hang in there. Try not to make the household even more depressing by fighting with your gf about her daughter. You will always lose if you ask her to choose. It's her flesh and blood. Try to make the household pleasant so it's at least a refuge where she can heal. Good luck.

[aloneinaz]

Here's the thing OP, you're referring to your own upbringing and to what you yourself would do in a situation like that. And by saying that, you've answered your own question...she is not you. She did not have your father.

 

 

I understand this, I'm just adding this to why my thinking is the way it is.

 

 

If she was kicked ot of the previous homes she was in because she was a slob, she's probably suffering from underlying depressions. Those can go on for years, believe me. There are fully functioning depressed people out there.

 

 

She's been this way her whole life, despite her mothers best efforts. I'm not her psychiatrist nor am I trained which I recognize. To me, it obviously could be driven by her depression. But I also think there's a component of her simply being lazy. I know a lot of lazy people who are simply content living like a slob. While it's not important to them (which is their right) it should become important when they are living under someone else roof who don't live like slobs.

 

So, how about, you and mom find her a place, help this girl a bit? Find her a place, keep providing emotional support, but be firm and let her know that you will not enable her financially.

 

 

This is our goal. I'm "gently" reminding her mother that she needs to stay on her daughter to really put an effort into finding another roommate. She's gotten comfortable here. I'm home before the GF and the GF and daughter arrive home to a cooked meal most nights. While it's a good thing for the daughter, it also isn't causing her wanting to leave a good thing either.

 

 

But I have to tell you OP, no offense, you have so little empathy for a poor depressed girl that I don't see it going to anything positive soon.

 

I'm sorry but please do realize that YOU have to change too. Your negative attitude and your intolerance and comparing her to yourself??? Nope, never gonna work. All you will do is alienate her.

 

I appreciate your direct, blunt opinion. I can't disagree with it either. Trust me, I'm FAR from perfect and could discuss my own personal shortcomings for a long time. My only defense is she knew coming into this house, it was to be a short stay. One or two months. We are closing in on 7 months now. I was very patient for quite a while but then, my Type A impatience and lack of empathy started flaring when I saw her addressing nothing month after month. I get this way when I feel people are taking advantage of me or others.

 

 

Again, I do appreciate you thoughts and feedback. I'm not going to ever conclude that I'm handling this 100% correctly which is why I posted this here to see what others have done in situations like this. The GF and I are going to continue to ratchet up the accountability in her to look for a roommate and stay close to her other areas that she needs to address. Mind you, she'll do what's asked of her, she simply won't do it on her own initiative.

[aloneinaz]

First, you did a great thing making sure she got psychiatric help. But of course, that doesn't work overnight. She is depressed and in trouble, basically, and she's 24, not old enough to have many life skills. So she does need some help and support. And you'll have to be patient to see if they can get her meds right and get her back to work and get her her own place again.

 

You should all sit down with a long-term plan. 1) Get the depression under control and at the same time work on either retooling (school) for employment to increase her opportunities or get her working at something, anything for the time being. 2) Once she's stabilized, another pow-wow with her to see what she wants to do for work. If that is going nowhere, get her to take two part-time jobs. But now she's stabilized, she must be saving money to move out. 3) Knowing her finances, set a deadline for her to have her own place.

 

Psychiatric care should be continuous. She should try different meds for a couple of months each to find what really works as many of those have to build up in the system over time. Don't let her stop any meds without talking to the doctor first. 80% of psychiatric patients stop taking the drugs as prescribed and are responsible for their own lack of success in getting better.

 

You're part of the family. This is a young depressed woman. She hasn't much to look forward to. Once she has a money making job, you might suggest she volunteer doing something she thinks she'd really enjoy because that will help her self-esteem. Maybe a zoo or helping kids dress for their school dances and such (yes, there's a charity for that -- my friend loves doing it).

 

Hang in there. Try not to make the household even more depressing by fighting with your gf about her daughter. You will always lose if you ask her to choose. It's her flesh and blood. Try to make the household pleasant so it's at least a refuge where she can heal. Good luck.

 

 

For clarity, she is working full time and is pretty functional. Her depression causes her to not do much and to only really watch TV during her down time. She will go out when the opportunity presents itself but she needs to grow a bigger friend network.

 

 

I understand and get that her Mom will pick the daughter over me. Sometimes, I think that wouldn't be a bad thing as they are packing up and leaving.. Ok, I'm joking. You can read my last post above on our other strategies.

Thanks for your reply.

[DatingDirection]

- she works long hours (what more do you want)?

- You're not her father (she's already doing what you ask her to do)

- You and her mother have control over her finances now, so put money aside for her to get her own car.

- DPRESSION MEANS DEEP REST, it's very hard to function and keep organized and tidy when a person has mental health issues.

- maybe her mother never taughter her these skills?

 

Try to talk to her and come up with a mini task plan, like a small todo list, she will just follow that, and know each day what needs to be done. She will do it automatically, because she knows what's expected of her, but use positve reinforcment, i.e i know you can handle this. She is not dumb!!! IF YOU RESPECT HER MOTHER, YOU SHOULD RESPECT THE DAUGHTER AND NOT WRITE ON HER, THAT YOU THINK YOUR GIRLFRIENDS DAUGHTER IS DUMB.

 

Sounds like she may have gone through this before, relapse, and to get better it takes time, meaning years, so seems like all the small steps she's taking are in the right direction. You seem to be too hard on her, what for?

 

Alot of people need their down time in order to recharge for the upcoming week. That means, they need time alone, and time to zone out, that's still being prodcutive, pastivity is an activity like meditation, you sound a bit judgmental and controlling. Although, it's nice of you to keep her at your home, because the last thing she needs is lack of support, and criticism.

Edited June 25, 2015 by DatingDirection

[aloneinaz]

I thought I'd update this thread and also thank those who provided solid opinions and advice.

 

 

We are now approaching 8 months of her living here. She is still seeing a psychologist and a psychiatrist. She had her anti-depressant upped a bit to try and help further with her depression. She has lost 40lbs now thru weight watchers though she fell off the wagon last week. Her Mom had to point this out to her when she saw her diet and food consumption go backwards. She uses food to comfort herself which is why she got so overweight.

 

 

Her psychologist is suggesting for her to broaden her social network. She currently doesn't really have any friends that she hangs out with nor a BF. She tells her mother that she's really feels lonely and un-loved. We are all trying to get gently suggest that she joins a gym, single meet up group and other things to meet some new friends. She just is so self conscience about her appearance that she has zero self esteem.

 

 

The good news- Since I'm not charging her rent she was able to save up several thousand dollars. I searched for a GOOD used car for her to buy and she used that money to buy it. We had it fully inspected and it's in great shape. Her Mom and I helped her detail it. We polished all the oxidation off the paint and waxed it. We cleaned the inside out and steam cleaned the seats and carpet. She now has a shinny, spotlessly clean car that's good to go that's 100% paid for. This has helped her feel better about herself as well.

 

 

She still has money left over to move into a place and my GF says she's going to try and help her find a roommate which will also provide an ancillary benefit of maybe having a new friend and social network. I'm hopeful that we can get her moved back out by the end of next month. I think this will also help her self esteem too.

 

 

Overall, she still has lots more work to do to herself. She's still hyper sensitive to ANY suggestions and is terrible about taking responsibility for her own actions. We still have to nag her to keep her room clean and she doesn't do anything around this house to help unless she's asked.

 

 

Me- I'm listening to the feedback on this thread and am doing a MUCH better job at biting my lip and having more compassion for her. She just doesn't help by never showing any appreciation for what her Mom and I do for her. We buy her lunch or dinner and it's rare that she even says "thanks"..

 

 

Anyway, wish us luck that she can stay on track and PUSH herself out of her comfort zone while addressing her poor habits.

[anika99]

If there is progress being made that's great. Now that she has a car, hopefully she will become more independent and venture away from the house more. I think you are being very kind to her. Honestly when I was in my early twenties I wasn't as thankful for the good people I had in my life as I should have been. I feel really bad for not showing more appreciation to those who went over and above for me when I was young and lost. The girl might seem unappreciative now but when she gets older and remembers what you did to help her she will be grateful and thankful.

 

 

Do you have a new deadline in mind? Have you and her mother ever given her a deadline for moving out. I fear that since she has it so good where she is it may become necessary to actually tell her to leave at some point. As in giving her 60 days notice or something like that.

[aloneinaz]

If there is progress being made that's great. Now that she has a car, hopefully she will become more independent and venture away from the house more. I think you are being very kind to her. Honestly when I was in my early twenties I wasn't as thankful for the good people I had in my life as I should have been. I feel really bad for not showing more appreciation to those who went over and above for me when I was young and lost. The girl might seem unappreciative now but when she gets older and remembers what you did to help her she will be grateful and thankful.

 

 

Do you have a new deadline in mind? Have you and her mother ever given her a deadline for moving out. I fear that since she has it so good where she is it may become necessary to actually tell her to leave at some point. As in giving her 60 days notice or something like that.

 

 

We haven't sat her down and given her a firm deadline. Her Mom knows that I'd like her to be back out on her own by the end of August. We discussed it last night and she said she would start helping her look for a place. I may take your suggestion and ask her Mom and then we all sit down with her to let her know she's back on her feet and needs to get back on her own again.

 

 

Thanks for sharing how you didn't do a great job w/appreciation at her age either. Everyone wants to bend over backwards and help someone when the person is grateful and thankful for it. It's certainly an area she needs to work on. The other day, my GF's family and I all went to lunch. I picked up the tab. EVERYONE went out of the way, including her younger sister to say thanks except her. It's rare that she says thanks for anything and I've gently pointed that out to her Mom who agrees w/me. Sometimes, I think she just didn't develop very good interpersonal skills as a kid and it's really hampering her now at her age. Her younger sister tires of her mood swings as well and doesn't put out much of an effort to ever do things with her either. It's kind of sad that she doesn't figure out how she comes across at times and the impact it has on people not wanting to be around her.

Edited July 29, 2015 by aloneinaz