Renton Posted June 2, 2015 Posted June 2, 2015 Anyone realized almost all women say they don't care that much what men do and men say "women definitely care"? See if people actually do what they say. That's the big difference.
Emilia Posted June 2, 2015 Posted June 2, 2015 I've actually had some really intellectual and interesting conversations with plumbers, electricians, and cable guys. All of these professions require major problem solving capabilities, so these guys aren't dumb at all. Boring jobs? Probably more exciting than your average desk job. Frankly, most of them are probably smarter than your average business graduate. I agree that most desk jobs are dull no argument there. I don't know about business graduates specifically but I'm sure a plumber who has his own business is shrewd. I stand by my original point though, plumbing isn't intellectually challenging, it isn't a profession, it's a trade. fixing bathroom leaks doesn't require the sort of problem solving that very bright people enjoy. The only exception I can imagine is an immigrant who had to learn something reasonably quickly to get by. Otherwise... Why? The only really smart guys I met are the gas engineers that can fix boilers properly. That's hard but that requires more serious studying and knowledge maintenance. Probably different social status as a result?
Emilia Posted June 2, 2015 Posted June 2, 2015 Anyone realized almost all women say they don't care that much what men do and men say "women definitely care"? I think long term people get on with those that have similar values as that probably means similar views on education and probably therefore similar social status? 1
Mrlonelyone Posted June 2, 2015 Posted June 2, 2015 Social status is as important as looks, and money in dating. Notice, when you are young social status usually is measured in superficial ways that have no bearing on adult post 25 post HS/college life. Social status can be a proxy for certain desirable traits in a mate. If someone has plenty of friends then that person has good skills for being in relationships (romantic, business, friendly), and has allies they can call on in a pinch. A degree or lots of technical certification can be a proxy for intelligence. This is true of other things like creativity, musical ability etc. Money is a symbol of the ability to provide resources. People used to bring meat and vegetables to show their ability to provide. Now we bring money. Family connections are important when one considers marriage and long term partnership. Will my father in law be able to help me out with a loan? Will my son in law be able to help support me when I am old? I don't want to go down a rabit hole...but in the United States of America race can be an issue as well. Different interracial match ups have different levels of social acceptance. One thing I always consider in addition to the above is the views a potential mate has on race. Do they have racist views that would effect our potential kids? Does my family treat them well? What friends will I give up for being bigots to my potential SO? Me personally, I have found the most rewarding relationships with people who were like me interested in STEM, with similar family, economic, spiritual, backgrounds and core values. It took me time to learn what those were and why they are of paramount importance. Cute butt on a woman or nice abs on a guy don't mean as much when I can't stand their values. TL;DR: When talking about serious long term partnerships with marriage potential the cold hard fact is that the more alike you are the better the relationship will be. When you are young and trying to be cool it is all about trying to date someone as cool as possible.
hudson701 Posted June 2, 2015 Posted June 2, 2015 It is extremely important. In my experience, of course. I am a guy. I would call myself a D list celebrity in the area. Meaning, since I own one of the premier new companies in the country, it's not odd to run into a lot of people I know when out. Or for people to want to talk to me (mainly because they want something). Before women realize this, it feels like the power dynamic is about equal. The second they realize what my status is (the wealth, the influence, etc)...it changes the game. They want to move faster. They want to be physical. They walk more confidently beside you. I never mention what I do to women, just that "I own a marketing company". Or that I'm a "programmer". So I am not imagining this. Their demeanor changes dramatically when they figure it out. Success, confidence, and 'fantasy' play a huge role in attraction...which is exactly why I don't mention what I do to people. It causes a lot of fakeness as they try harder to impress you. Moral of the story? It doesn't matter to the person that is well off. At least it doesn't to me. I'd rather people don't know. I don't get off on being noticed or people feeling like they are important because of who I am. I grew up in severe poverty and made my own way in life. I have no privilege. I want people to either like me or dislike me because of my character and attraction, not status/wealth. So if you're asking because you want to pursue someone in a higher status...go for it. Most likely you care more than they do. Unless they come from money. Old money works differently. And that behaviour you describe of women... Deep down, doesn't it utterly disgust you? I've witnessed it myself... There's nothing like a solid bit of social status to get the panties wet, women simply can't help themselves.
Mrlonelyone Posted June 2, 2015 Posted June 2, 2015 And that behaviour you describe of women... Deep down, doesn't it utterly disgust you? I've witnessed it myself... There's nothing like a solid bit of social status to get the panties wet, women simply can't help themselves. So true. Here it is money. 1 million years ago it was having better hunting skills and the trophies to prove it. 4 million years ago it was being able to sharpen a rock and take on a lion with your pals. It is a harsh fact that people choose long term mates in particular based on how well they can provide. Men and women alike do this. Look at John Kerry...he married a wife who's last name was Heinz...as in the Ketchup family. He was a broke veteran by comparison before then.
lino Posted June 2, 2015 Posted June 2, 2015 It's very important for women, not so for men. I've never once considered it and in fact I wasn't even familiar with the expression until I found this website.
Author h0000 Posted June 2, 2015 Author Posted June 2, 2015 I've actually had some really intellectual and interesting conversations with plumbers, electricians, and cable guys. All of these professions require major problem solving capabilities, so these guys aren't dumb at all. Boring jobs? Probably more exciting than your average desk job. Frankly, most of them are probably smarter than your average business graduate. haha I don't think an average plumber is better than an average business graduate...
lino Posted June 2, 2015 Posted June 2, 2015 A massive potential can of worms here but if people answer honestly they will tell you social status is vital. Yes, some will say no it isn't but ultimately when presented with the choice between the quiet intelligent nice guy and the huge social circle, drinks with friends, goes to bars and clubs. Almost ALL will pick the latter because that's considered to be the social norm and in addition chances are most of their friends boyfriends conform to this. Social status and conforming to me are very closely linked, people see the need to conform, more so females in my opinion. Society in my opinion governs the very core of dating, society says you don't screw on date one, society says the guy must do all the work, society says guys must all be Casanova. All inherently linked to social standing. Furthermore the link between consumerism, society and dating is very strong, go out on a Friday night to any club or bar anywhere and look at the people, bar physical attributes are they really individual in anyway at all. How many people are there because society and social standing requires it and how many are there because they want to be? For those that say social standing has little of no effect then I think you need to carefully consider your own requirements because all of us to a lesser or greater degree sift people by social standing, which is often directly linked to education and intellect. I maintain very firmly the best people to pursue are those who combine class, intellect, intelligence and a reasonable degree of looks and yes even there I am defining according to social status but to go one further I deliberately look for people who don't club and pub crawl. Very sad and unfortunately very true.
Author h0000 Posted June 2, 2015 Author Posted June 2, 2015 It is extremely important. In my experience, of course. I am a guy. I would call myself a D list celebrity in the area. Meaning, since I own one of the premier new companies in the country, it's not odd to run into a lot of people I know when out. Or for people to want to talk to me (mainly because they want something). Before women realize this, it feels like the power dynamic is about equal. The second they realize what my status is (the wealth, the influence, etc)...it changes the game. They want to move faster. They want to be physical. They walk more confidently beside you. I never mention what I do to women, just that "I own a marketing company". Or that I'm a "programmer". So I am not imagining this. Their demeanor changes dramatically when they figure it out. Success, confidence, and 'fantasy' play a huge role in attraction...which is exactly why I don't mention what I do to people. It causes a lot of fakeness as they try harder to impress you. Moral of the story? It doesn't matter to the person that is well off. At least it doesn't to me. I'd rather people don't know. I don't get off on being noticed or people feeling like they are important because of who I am. I grew up in severe poverty and made my own way in life. I have no privilege. I want people to either like me or dislike me because of my character and attraction, not status/wealth. So if you're asking because you want to pursue someone in a higher status...go for it. Most likely you care more than they do. Unless they come from money. Old money works differently. When you choose a woman, do you look at her status? Now I don't mean exactly how much she makes, but career, back ground, education level etc ?
guest569 Posted June 3, 2015 Posted June 3, 2015 fixing bathroom leaks doesn't require the sort of problem solving that very bright people enjoy. What does that say about the vast majority of intellectuals that cannot do these "dumb" tasks and have to pay a boring old plumber to do? I find that sort of attitude really derogatory.
Juha Posted June 3, 2015 Posted June 3, 2015 To me social status comes in to play when I date a little. I want a women who is independent and can take care of themselves. Unfortunately in the U.S. for most women, not all, it's how much money do they make is their #1 deciding factor. They will settle for less love or caring if they have monetary security for themselves and the kids they have. have seen it time and time again in society and these women many times are not happy as they are not adored and loved how they want but accept it for the security and social status the money brings. Men not so much with their decisions on women. This is all about human nature. you have money you get the women as you can provide for them and their children the best. That's bottom line
Juha Posted June 3, 2015 Posted June 3, 2015 also a women who grew up with money will almost never ever go with a man who does not have similar money or the "right" high level education. SO yes women tend to stay in their social classes whole men not as much. A man who grew up with money will date all levels of women and not stay in his social class as much. Have seen many men date and marry women from a lower social class. I am not saying these women are bad, not at all, they are very good women just did not grow up with the same things as the man. A man who grew up with money will look at all social classes for the most part when dating while a women who came from the same background almost always will not look or date men from lower social classes than what she grew up in.
Emilia Posted June 3, 2015 Posted June 3, 2015 What does that say about the vast majority of intellectuals that cannot do these "dumb" tasks and have to pay a boring old plumber to do? I find that sort of attitude really derogatory. That they spend their time acquiring different sets of skills? Something that satisfies them more than fixing a blocked lavatory? Mind you, many people can do certain plumbing jobs, myself included. I'm sure some plumbers have derogatory views on 'intellectuals', such is the world.
Lona.loba Posted June 3, 2015 Posted June 3, 2015 in my experience, currently im more rich than my bf and he knows that and is ok with it. nothing is going wrong. we love each other soo much that we will get married in the future. love can beet the social status, it can beet the distance, it can beet almost anything. think of the titanic for instance, and the notebook. it doesnt really matter to me
Emilia Posted June 3, 2015 Posted June 3, 2015 (edited) think of the titanic for instance, and the notebook. it doesnt really matter to me Those are fictional stories. Of course he is ok with it. The person who is taking some kind of resource is usually ok. The question is whether the person giving it could do better. Better not necessarily meaning more money. Edited June 3, 2015 by Emilia
Author h0000 Posted June 3, 2015 Author Posted June 3, 2015 Those are fictional stories. Of course he is ok with it. The person who is taking some kind of resource is usually ok. The question is whether the person giving it could do better. Better not necessarily meaning more money. 'can you do better"...OMG so true
elaine567 Posted June 3, 2015 Posted June 3, 2015 And that behaviour you describe of women... Deep down, doesn't it utterly disgust you? I've witnessed it myself... There's nothing like a solid bit of social status to get the panties wet, women simply can't help themselves. And men cannot either. Everyone likes people of status, ever been round a politician or a strong, powerful man? Men cannot help themselves fawning and creeping around, if they think they can get some kudos and power rubbed off onto themselves. The weak will always see strength as attractive and want to be part of it. Young or weak or naive or ambitious people in the face of money, power and status in a man, see a way forward for themselves. "Hang on tight, and he will elevate me to where I deserve to be..."
Emilia Posted June 3, 2015 Posted June 3, 2015 'can you do better"...OMG so true Funny how people pretend they don't isn't it? Unless they don't have the sort of resource others don't want.
Emilia Posted June 3, 2015 Posted June 3, 2015 And men cannot either. Everyone likes people of status, ever been round a politician or a strong, powerful man? Men cannot help themselves fawning and creeping around, if they think they can get some kudos and power rubbed off onto themselves. The weak will always see strength as attractive and want to be part of it. Young or weak or naive or ambitious people in the face of money, power and status in a man, see a way forward for themselves. "Hang on tight, and he will elevate me to where I deserve to be..." They want power and connections because men compete with each other based on money/social status and success with women. That's how their hierarchy is decided.
empresario Posted June 3, 2015 Posted June 3, 2015 And that behaviour you describe of women... Deep down, doesn't it utterly disgust you? I've witnessed it myself... There's nothing like a solid bit of social status to get the panties wet, women simply can't help themselves. I don't think it disgusts me...that's a little more harsh than I'd put it. It's evolutionary. It's science. Women want strong, alpha males that will produce strong, alpha children. Even if they don't make the connection internally. Same reason guys like busty women. It all boils down to our instincts. At the end of the day, I'm never going to find a woman as far along the social ladder as I am. They exist...I just won't find one. So, I realize it comes with the territory. I can't give more context than I am...but rest assured what I do is in a very sough-after industry. It's hard to penetrate and impressive on paper. The only thing that makes me sad about it is I want to be loved for who I am. I absolutely know I can get women far outside of my attraction level because of career and status. Nearly every single (sometimes not even), rational woman that finds me somewhat attractive is within my ability to date because of status and charisma. But it doesn't feel real when it comes down to that. And I have to be mindful of it...because it makes me want to try less in relationships when I don't have to try very hard to begin with. At the end of the day, I go back to the letter from JP Morgan CEO to a woman wondering why she can't find a wealthy man. Google it. It's hilarious. And I agree with it whole-heartedly. At the end of the day beauty and sexiness is a depreciating asset. My wealth and status is not. So building a relationship where a woman wants to exchange one for the other is just plain stupid.
empresario Posted June 3, 2015 Posted June 3, 2015 When you choose a woman, do you look at her status? Now I don't mean exactly how much she makes, but career, back ground, education level etc ? Absolutely. But as I said in my prior post, I already know the chances of finding someone as far along as me at my young age (I'm not 30, yet) is almost impossible...and definitely not feasible. I am attracted to intelligence. Both professionally and romantically. I will hire an intelligent, motivated person that isn't quite there yet over a person with 10 years of experience that I don't respect. The same applies to my love life. If the woman is smart, motivated, and we have chemistry...then my needs are met.
empresario Posted June 3, 2015 Posted June 3, 2015 What does that say about the vast majority of intellectuals that cannot do these "dumb" tasks and have to pay a boring old plumber to do? I find that sort of attitude really derogatory. This is a very inane post. It's not about the ability to do it. It never is. Look at it from my perspective. When I was still hands-on in development, my hourly professional services rate was 300/hr. So, anything that was lower than the cost/benefit of learning and doing that task I would hire someone else to do it. It's all about time/money. You aren't paying for someone's expertise (per se)...you're paying for their time. Especially now, my time is way more valuable than my money.
Author h0000 Posted June 3, 2015 Author Posted June 3, 2015 Absolutely. But as I said in my prior post, I already know the chances of finding someone as far along as me at my young age (I'm not 30, yet) is almost impossible...and definitely not feasible. I am attracted to intelligence. Both professionally and romantically. I will hire an intelligent, motivated person that isn't quite there yet over a person with 10 years of experience that I don't respect. The same applies to my love life. If the woman is smart, motivated, and we have chemistry...then my needs are met. When you say she has to be intelligent and motivated, does it mean she will have to (if not already) achieve "something" (Doesn't have to compare her achievement to yours). Or it completely does not matter whether she is a lawyer or receptionist.
Author h0000 Posted June 3, 2015 Author Posted June 3, 2015 Funny how people pretend they don't isn't it? Unless they don't have the sort of resource others don't want. I wonder those women who say "money and his career doesn't matter as long as he loves me", is it because they can't do better?
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