joseb Posted May 29, 2015 Posted May 29, 2015 . I avoid blue collar types that have never moved out of the area they were born in. A broad mind and intellect are essential. Money not so much. Yeah this is where I would be too. I really don't care too much what someone works at, what their income is, or if their family is perceived as having high social status.
Author h0000 Posted May 29, 2015 Author Posted May 29, 2015 OP, would you date a stock broker that had no morals or integrity, rather than a good looking blue collar worker who was an all round great guy? People here tend to give extreme examples . Truth is not all blue collar workers are great guys and not all brokers have no morals Most likely they are both just normal guys who are sweet and jerk in their own ways.. Maybe a more realistic example would be, a blue collar guy with super hot body and a stock broker with ok but still healthy body,both normal blocks, which one would you date ?
joseb Posted May 29, 2015 Posted May 29, 2015 People here tend to give extreme examples . Truth is not all blue collar workers are great guys and not all brokers have no morals Most likely they are both just normal guys who are sweet and jerk in their own ways.. Maybe a more realistic example would be, a blue collar guy with super hot body and a stock broker with ok but still healthy body,both normal blocks, which one would you date ? I'm not gay, but if you revised this with female equivalents I would go for the blue collar one.
Author h0000 Posted May 29, 2015 Author Posted May 29, 2015 I'm not gay, but if you revised this with female equivalents I would go for the blue collar one. Ah, I wasn't sure if you were a man or woman. Men generally care less about a woman's career so they would go for whoever looks good I suppose.
Gaeta Posted May 29, 2015 Posted May 29, 2015 Are you willing to provide to him then? I said hard working. I didn't say unemployed. What he does for living and how much he earns is not important as long as he gets up every morning and heads to work. 1
Author h0000 Posted May 29, 2015 Author Posted May 29, 2015 I said hard working. I didn't say unemployed. What he does for living and how much he earns is not important as long as he gets up every morning and heads to work. yes but maybe his pay is still not enough for both of you to travel through Europe. Will you be willing to pay then?
endlessabyss Posted May 29, 2015 Posted May 29, 2015 Looks Money Status, also known as LMS, are everything when it comes to dating. You better be well off in two of those to have good market value in the dating game, that's if you seek an attractive woman. Your counterparts are looking at how well you are liked, what kind of life could you provide them, and all this comes after the initial physical attraction. Most of these things go hand in hand, because attractive people are obviously going to have a lot of people orbiting them (social status), because well, who doesn't like being around aesthetically pleasing humans? 1
joseb Posted May 29, 2015 Posted May 29, 2015 Ah, I wasn't sure if you were a man or woman. Men generally care less about a woman's career so they would go for whoever looks good I suppose. Yeah, all things being relatively equal I would. But lets say they both looked the same, both decent people. The stock broker lives her life in Manhattan in a fancy appt, takes vacations at the hamptons and occasionally Milan, but knows nothing really about Italy. The blue collar lives in Queens, has backpacked a lot, has tried to pick up Italian on holidays, and loves to cook authentic Italian food. I'd definitely go for the blue collar one.
Revolver Posted May 30, 2015 Posted May 30, 2015 Social status>Looks The average looking leader of the popular frat in college is going to get more tail than the random hot guy who nobody knows
Gaeta Posted May 30, 2015 Posted May 30, 2015 yes but maybe his pay is still not enough for both of you to travel through Europe. Will you be willing to pay then? I am 49 yo and financially stable. No I don't have a problem being the one with the bigger revenue and having to help with his part. Most men I date make less than I anyway. My brother works for the government, he has a BA but he earns public worker's salary. Nothing to impress. His wife is a doctor. At this moment they are vacationing in Greece, who do you think paid the trip? 1
SLee Posted May 30, 2015 Posted May 30, 2015 Doesn't matter to me. The only thing as far as "superficial" stuff goes with a partner that I care about is financial stability, meaning that at some point with the combined income I'd like to be financially stable. I don't want to be super super rich or anything. Just stable. If that meant my partner made more money, that's fine with me. If it meant I made more money, that's fine too. Or it was equal, that's fine also. As far as the rest of it, it doesn't matter. If my partner was an electrician, plumber, garbageman, or whatever I don't care. As long as I loved them and vice versa and we had the same values and goals in life. Also people in trades do make really viable livings, at least where I live. The people I date/am interested in tend to be the quiet, well-educated, intellectual types though because that's who I'm around at university and who I grew up around, so that's what I'm used to. But by no means would I be opposed to dating someone who wasn't that type at all. I know some really wonderful guys who are working in trade fields (they're all married or dating haha). I really don't buy into the "dating down" thing, at least personally. I think it's really petty and unimportant in the long run. Besides, pretty much every one of my mom's friends who "dated up" (meaning they married very wealthy dudes, not in their own social class) are either divorced or are miserable. So long as everything is equal as far as values, life goals, love, compatibility, etc. than date whoever and whenever you want. The people who care about how much their partner is on their "level" are generally spoiled brats who are probably really immature anyway, from what I've observed. That's my point of view, at least.
Emilia Posted May 30, 2015 Posted May 30, 2015 yes but maybe his pay is still not enough for both of you to travel through Europe. Will you be willing to pay then? Restricting your lifestyle can be an issue. I would not pay for all because I don't think anyone should be provided for. I always argue here that it infantilises women when men provide. But I would pay a higher share. If a guy mid 30+ didn't have savings and no prospects living paycheck to paycheck, I would very much question his decision making.
elaine567 Posted May 30, 2015 Posted May 30, 2015 Dating is all about finding someone who matches, someone who fits into our world. We usually find such people have a lot of things in common with us. Usually such things in common have come from our upbringing, our education, our friends, and along with that, often comes sharing a similar social status and rank. Common ground is important, we need it to build rapport. We feel comfortable when our "in" jokes are understood, instead of being met with blank stares and the need for explanations. It can be interesting to "teach" a new person about our life, our attitudes, our way of looking at things, but that gets old pretty quick if there is little fundamental common ground. Dating up or down, needs careful consideration. Sometimes it suits one party to be of a higher rank than the other. A friend of mine was dumped for being a doctor basically, a person of too high a social ranking. The story. All her bfs friends were married to/engaged to or seeing women who were of lower social status than their men. The bfs were professional men - their partners weren't. The friends went on holiday as couples, the other women were girly women and they talked about girly things. My friend who had more in common with the men, had nothing in common with the women and stood out like a sore thumb. Her bf encouraged her to be "one of the girly girls", but she was being herself, so she wasn't, I suppose, "playing ball" well enough and they had a huge fight in which he accused her of being a snob and not fitting in and he dumped her. He married a hairdresser shortly afterwards. I guess SHE fitted in well. It appeared, HE wanted to be the one with the higher social status, he wanted his wife to be "beneath" him in conventional social ranking, and thus to fit in with his friends. In the throes of a new relationship, with sexual attraction, partying and having fun being the priority - social status, can seem irrelevant. However I feel for long term happiness, social status, and what it means for the relationship and the individuals in it, needs specifically thought about. Social status is the position or rank of a person or group, within the society.
darkmoon Posted May 30, 2015 Posted May 30, 2015 blue collar does not mean they are not well-read, they like the plumber jobs etc seeing good pay, known three plumbers like this, interesting convos 1
BronzeAgeJaeger217 Posted June 1, 2015 Posted June 1, 2015 Do people most of the time mingle within their own social league? How often is it, that a guy is willing to date a woman who has more power or is richer? And how often will a woman willing to "date down"? And does social leagues matter to you at all? I would say it probably matters for men more
whirl3daway Posted June 1, 2015 Posted June 1, 2015 I don't really care about "social status", whatever that means, as much as I care about intelligence, financial stability/independence, kindness, respect, empathy and the ability to work hard/be driven, and lack of religion. These are not qualities that are limited to "white collar" people necessarily, but it's my experience that it's more likely than "blue collar".
Emilia Posted June 1, 2015 Posted June 1, 2015 blue collar does not mean they are not well-read, they like the plumber jobs etc seeing good pay, known three plumbers like this, interesting convos I'm yet to meet an intelectually curious plumber. Why would they work in such a boring job, why would they do it to themselves. they earn ok but nothing out of the ordinary.
deadelvis Posted June 1, 2015 Posted June 1, 2015 men don't care. women under 30 don't care. women over 30 only seem to care about money and social status. they say "I'm looking for some security" ... I say "get out of my car you vampire"
carhill Posted June 1, 2015 Posted June 1, 2015 Heh, here's a miniscule sample of what we intellectually uncurious blue collar drones have to digest to keep our licenses current, not to mention the brute knowledge it takes to design and build systems. http://www.phccweb.org/files/Depts/Technical/2015%20NSPC%20Proposed%20Changes%20Book.pdf Note, that isn't the NPC, rather just an overview of the 2015 changes to the NPC. I dabble in electrical and plumbing adjunct to my main blue collar business, which is machine work and fabrication. All blue collar grunt stuff. Social status looms large. However, my exW never apologized for me knowing how to fix a relative's home or her car. Wonder why that was. Eh, not really. People do what they do. 1
Arieswoman Posted June 1, 2015 Posted June 1, 2015 I am a professional woman who went to university and has a business in healthcare. My husband left school at 16 and became a train driver. Guess which of us has the most assessments, evaluations, tests, management appraisals etc etc? Yes, you guessed correctly, it's him. Even when I worked in the NHS (UK National Health Service) I didn't have anything like as many hoops to jump through as he does.
empresario Posted June 2, 2015 Posted June 2, 2015 Do people most of the time mingle within their own social league? How often is it, that a guy is willing to date a woman who has more power or is richer? And how often will a woman willing to "date down"? And does social leagues matter to you at all? It is extremely important. In my experience, of course. I am a guy. I would call myself a D list celebrity in the area. Meaning, since I own one of the premier new companies in the country, it's not odd to run into a lot of people I know when out. Or for people to want to talk to me (mainly because they want something). Before women realize this, it feels like the power dynamic is about equal. The second they realize what my status is (the wealth, the influence, etc)...it changes the game. They want to move faster. They want to be physical. They walk more confidently beside you. I never mention what I do to women, just that "I own a marketing company". Or that I'm a "programmer". So I am not imagining this. Their demeanor changes dramatically when they figure it out. Success, confidence, and 'fantasy' play a huge role in attraction...which is exactly why I don't mention what I do to people. It causes a lot of fakeness as they try harder to impress you. Moral of the story? It doesn't matter to the person that is well off. At least it doesn't to me. I'd rather people don't know. I don't get off on being noticed or people feeling like they are important because of who I am. I grew up in severe poverty and made my own way in life. I have no privilege. I want people to either like me or dislike me because of my character and attraction, not status/wealth. So if you're asking because you want to pursue someone in a higher status...go for it. Most likely you care more than they do. Unless they come from money. Old money works differently. 2
justconfused25 Posted June 2, 2015 Posted June 2, 2015 I respectfully half-disagree with a lot of the answers that say social status or money is everything in a dating but not in a way you might think. Here is my perspective: In my opinion, everything in life, but especially relationships come down to values. Values will permeate everything you do, whether you realize it or not. From something as simple as everyday life like Person A who values honesty and would go out of their way to return a dropped dollar bill vs Person B that values money and would keep it. Another more relevant example would be Person A values relationships and so becomes a selfless partner vs someone who values career and would put their career over their partner 10/10. Having said that, it would be the same for your question. Social status and money would be of utmost importance to someone who values exactly that. Unfortunately, in our current society, this tends to happen more often than not which is why I only half-disagreed. Essentially, it is important only to those that share that view. The good news I believe is that there are many out there instead that truly value other things like God or travelling for example. To them, what good is all of this social status or money when they don't value it and have it as a much lesser priority? Imagine yourself if you have animals as one of your most important values. A 10/10 looking opposite gender approached you with all the status and money in the world. Sure initially, you might be attracted because those things still matter to you but to a lesser extent. And heck, you might even give the person a try and date. But if they don't have a care in the world for you what value so importantly which in this example would be animals, it would not work out at the very end. So I believe there is definitely no clear cut, end all answer because it doesn't even depend on the society you're in but the individual. I think you should do some serious introspection and look deep into what you value yourself. If ultimately, you realize you don't value status, then I think it would just be a little harder to find a similar partner who thinks the same way but it is certainly not impossible! Just a bit harder in our society today. But whatever you do, don't compromise your values for someone else. My 2 cents.
loveweary11 Posted June 2, 2015 Posted June 2, 2015 the average woman demands no less than yacht owner, Perfect! Where do I find these women who are os interested in yachts?? ;) 1
clia Posted June 2, 2015 Posted June 2, 2015 I'm yet to meet an intelectually curious plumber. Why would they work in such a boring job, why would they do it to themselves. they earn ok but nothing out of the ordinary. I've actually had some really intellectual and interesting conversations with plumbers, electricians, and cable guys. All of these professions require major problem solving capabilities, so these guys aren't dumb at all. Boring jobs? Probably more exciting than your average desk job. Frankly, most of them are probably smarter than your average business graduate.
Author h0000 Posted June 2, 2015 Author Posted June 2, 2015 (edited) Anyone realized almost all women say they don't care that much what men do and men say "women definitely care"? Edited June 2, 2015 by h0000 1
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