Author tryingtomend Posted May 24, 2015 Author Share Posted May 24, 2015 my soon to be ex-husband told me he doesn't want to be in a relationship with me anymore. i got diagnosed with a chronic illness and he decided it was over for him. i'm so damn heartbroken. i have a therapist to talk to every week. but i'm home (disabled for the moment) and i cry every single day. i have tears streaming down my face as i write this. i love him so much. our relationship was pretty good i thought. when i got sick things changed with him. he became angry and short with me and i ignored it since i had to just focus on getting better. i keep wanting to reach out to him and tell him that i love him and i don't want a divorce but i know that if that is what he wanted he would be reaching out to me. he isn't reaching out at all. i haven't heard his voice in over two months. i miss him so much and my heart is torn apart. how am i supposed to get over this? it feels like the pain will never end. Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted May 24, 2015 Share Posted May 24, 2015 Time mainly. What's your support system like - friends and family? Lean on them, that's what they're there for. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
TunaCat Posted May 24, 2015 Share Posted May 24, 2015 Any guy who would leave you because you were diagnosed with a chronic illness is not a guy you want to be married to. You deserve so much better. I know it doesn't feel like that now, but you do. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kenmore Posted May 24, 2015 Share Posted May 24, 2015 Wow, you sound just like me! Hugs TTM! My wife did the same, I still can't believe it. Divorcing me over stupid stuff. No infidelity, abuse, bad sex, not even "money problems" other than I was not able to get a good job. She made enough and even told me just months before she kicked me out that she "makes enough money, don't worry about finding a good job, what you do makes my life easier and I'm so happy to have you." Then she told me to leave because I didn't have a good job and filed for divorce four months later. Not knowing your whole situation, it's hard to give good guidance. I can and do feel for you, and your circumstance tells me he's being a total jerk as TunaCat says. Agreed than anyone who does not stick with someone just because they are not well is not marriage material. After all, don't the vows say "in sickness and in health?" In my case the words are "in richer and poorer." People say the vows because someone says "repeat after me" like they don't even realize they are making vows. Like it's just a recital. I'm so sorry for your situation! Hugs!!! Please keep posting here, you will find good support and friends. I care and I know others do too. Peace my new friend! Ken Link to post Share on other sites
understand50 Posted May 24, 2015 Share Posted May 24, 2015 Sorry for your pain, and loss. It is ok to grieve, what may have been, but do not let it consume you. Your ex is not a real man, does not live up to the vows you both took. He has no honor, and at his core, is a loser. I hope you find someone to love and charish you. Find away to take care of yourself, and remeber you are specal. Time is the only thing that will help. As you travel trough this, try and find hope and peace in other things. Write In LS giving your take on other peaples issues. Help out with someone worse off then you. Moving to help others, will keep your mind off of your unworthy ex, and show what you are made of. Do things for yourself, start on something that gives you joy Or at least pleasure. There can be strength and accomplment in overcomming this. Dont let this defeat you. Despite the pain, use this to become stronger. I wish you luck and hope. Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby65 Posted May 24, 2015 Share Posted May 24, 2015 If your husband isn't supportive, you don't need that negativity in your life anyway -- especially right now. Here's a guide that will help you: http://www.breakuprecoveryguide.com Time to focus on YOU.... on YOUR life, YOUR health and getting better. What is your chronic illness? Are you researching alternative treatments? I'm helping my dad right now with his cancer -- we're doing physical therapy, vegan diet, juicing, alternative medicine and he's looking great and feeling better than he has in decades! So far, according to his doctors, we've cured his diabetes, high cholesterol, obesity, crippling arthritis..... and his cancer's getting better, too! Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted May 24, 2015 Share Posted May 24, 2015 my soon to be ex-husband told me he doesn't want to be in a relationship with me anymore. i got diagnosed with a chronic illness and he decided it was over for him. i'm so damn heartbroken. i have a therapist to talk to every week. but i'm home (disabled for the moment) and i cry every single day. i have tears streaming down my face as i write this. i love him so much. our relationship was pretty good i thought. when i got sick things changed with him. he became angry and short with me and i ignored it since i had to just focus on getting better. i keep wanting to reach out to him and tell him that i love him and i don't want a divorce but i know that if that is what he wanted he would be reaching out to me. he isn't reaching out at all. i haven't heard his voice in over two months. i miss him so much and my heart is torn apart. how am i supposed to get over this? it feels like the pain will never end. Sorry for all that you're going through. Your H unfortunately has chosen to bail out on you. He's a real shi.t!! But, better he leaves than stays and cheats on you because chances are that is what would happen. He'd be staying to look after you during your illness and then do as he pleases on the side. Please talk to your family and friends, get counseling too. It will take a while to work through the pain but you will heal and feel better. Hugs to you. Link to post Share on other sites
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