loveweary11 Posted May 14, 2015 Posted May 14, 2015 Most woman my age need to be entrained 24 hours a day 7 days a week. I do not have time for that. I know. Those are the age girls I have been with since my divorce. I don't meet any my own age for some reason. And that's why I'm thinking short termis easier. Entertain them 24/7, then take a month to yourself, then entertain the next one. Since they don't want monogamy anyway, I can just adapt to their desired multiplie partner lifestyle and do the same thing they do, getting my needs met. I'd be a lot more nervous in your situation. Having kids with one would be a mess. Edit: Im with girls 5 to 10 years younger than you usually.
jeffmeyers Posted May 14, 2015 Posted May 14, 2015 Who risks nothing has nothing. If you're paralyzed in fear with the possibility of any bad outcome in anything you could endeavour, you might as well pull the trigger now.
Author Krieger Posted May 14, 2015 Author Posted May 14, 2015 well, currently as far as I can see, you're dateless because you're too scared to dip your toe in the water. And yes, I agree, THIS is your baggage. you are burdening yourself with so much fear about what MIGHT happen, that you are actively preventing yourself from the potential enjoyment of a good relationship. You're not being 'picky'. This isn't being picky. This is being ridiculous....your fears are your worst enemies and they're lying to you.... Well something happened to me when I was in the 2nd or 3rd grade that might explain the way I think . All I can recall is I was outside playing and my mom told me to come home and she let me play outside with the other kids for a few more minutes. Than all of a sudden one of the kids moms she started to chase me and I ran but she caught me and hit me a few times hard enough to leave a make on my face and body. Than she dragged me home by my arm and yelling at me the whole time . The police came and talked to the woman and was told to if she comes near me again she going to jail.
loveweary11 Posted May 14, 2015 Posted May 14, 2015 Who risks nothing has nothing. If you're paralyzed in fear with the possibility of any bad outcome in anything you could endeavour, you might as well pull the trigger now. Im an extreme risk taker. I risk more in my life every day than the vast majority of the population does in months. I routinely take calculated risks with my life, my finances and some other things because without great risk there cannot be great reward. Risks are acceptable when there is the potential for a matching reward. However, having already been married 10 years, this reward doesn't seem to match the risk. Do you really assign all of life's value to being in a relationship? You'd pull the trigger if you weren't in one? 1
madjac74 Posted May 14, 2015 Posted May 14, 2015 Im an extreme risk taker. I risk more in my life every day than the vast majority of the population does in months. How do you know what we risk everyday? 3
Author Krieger Posted May 14, 2015 Author Posted May 14, 2015 (edited) Who risks nothing has nothing. If you're paralyzed in fear with the possibility of any bad outcome in anything you could endeavour, you might as well pull the trigger now. I just have to stay away from woman that are bums. Edited May 14, 2015 by Krieger
Author Krieger Posted May 14, 2015 Author Posted May 14, 2015 I know. Those are the age girls I have been with since my divorce. I don't meet any my own age for some reason. And that's why I'm thinking short termis easier. Entertain them 24/7, then take a month to yourself, then entertain the next one. Since they don't want monogamy anyway, I can just adapt to their desired multiplie partner lifestyle and do the same thing they do, getting my needs met. I'd be a lot more nervous in your situation. Having kids with one would be a mess. Edit: Im with girls 5 to 10 years younger than you usually. The reason so many woman act that way is because the do not have to take responsibility for there actions . Guy need to stop going after woman that know the difference between have 500 sexual partners and having sex with sex 1000 times with a long term BF.
Author Krieger Posted May 14, 2015 Author Posted May 14, 2015 Im an extreme risk taker. I risk more in my life every day than the vast majority of the population does in months. I routinely take calculated risks with my life, my finances and some other things because without great risk there cannot be great reward. Risks are acceptable when there is the potential for a matching reward. However, having already been married 10 years, this reward doesn't seem to match the risk. Do you really assign all of life's value to being in a relationship? You'd pull the trigger if you weren't in one? It just would be nice to find a woman that want the same things you do.
Author Krieger Posted May 14, 2015 Author Posted May 14, 2015 one last thing b4 I going to bed. It seems every time I open up to a woman I get hurt and I been hurt by woman physical and emotionally. I still believe most woman are good and want a man and get married but got to avoid the bad woman like they have Ebola.
Diezel Posted May 14, 2015 Posted May 14, 2015 Then don't get into a relationship with a woman, don't get married, don't have kids. Problem solved, thread over. If I didn't do the things I feared could have a bad outcome, I'd just sit in my apartment all day, because I could die in a car crash or a meteor could land in my office while I am at work, or I could choke on my lunch. Just live life. 1
elaine567 Posted May 14, 2015 Posted May 14, 2015 I do not have any baggage BTW. Yes you do, by your postings on here, you have loads of emotional baggage.
jeffmeyers Posted May 14, 2015 Posted May 14, 2015 However, having already been married 10 years, this reward doesn't seem to match the risk. If you really wanted kids and had found the woman for it but chose not to out of some irrational fear about failure in the future, then yeah I'd say the problem is you, not women or the justice system.
Gaeta Posted May 14, 2015 Posted May 14, 2015 OH PLEASE! you might as well stay home forever cause every day you risk being hit by a car, or a plane falling on you, or catch cancer. If you want to get married then just have a bullet proof prenup or don't get married and make sure all of your paper concerning your common assets are notarized and devised in half if there is a separation. Most divorced couples I know are civil toward each other and are still great parents.
elaine567 Posted May 14, 2015 Posted May 14, 2015 If you want to get married then just have a bullet proof prenup or don't get married and make sure all of your paper concerning your common assets are notarized and devised in half if there is a separation. But maybe she will take one look at the prenup and leave him standing at the altar... It could happen...
loveweary11 Posted May 14, 2015 Posted May 14, 2015 If you really wanted kids and had found the woman for it but chose not to out of some irrational fear about failure in the future, then yeah I'd say the problem is you, not women or the justice system. I *don't* want kids. That's the OP that wants them. So... the only reward out of a partner is companionship. (I can get sex any time...they all want sex) So the reward side for me, personally, is looking a little weak. I woke up thinking about my middle of the night post. It was somewhat my dreaming subconscious talking. There are posts about men destroying the relationship too. Both sexes do it. People do it, we just do it differently. The reason us guys say, "women do it" is because unless we are gay, that's all that matters for our personal decisions as straight men.
TaraMaiden2 Posted May 14, 2015 Posted May 14, 2015 ....I woke up thinking about my middle of the night post.... You DEFINITELY don't get out enough....! if that was your first thought, you need to walk the talk, darling! 1
loveweary11 Posted May 14, 2015 Posted May 14, 2015 (edited) You DEFINITELY don't get out enough....! if that was your first thought, you need to walk the talk, darling! Definitely not. I can't wait to get back to normal life. I'm currently working 98 hours a week. 8am to 10pm, 7 days a week, in complete social nd geographic isolation. Texting and Loveshack are my only social contacts (employees don't count) Been at it for months now and can't stop it until my boat splashes. Running two small businesses sucks, but more free time will open up later in the summer, as will returning to enjoying life a bit. Edited May 14, 2015 by loveweary11
whirl3daway Posted May 14, 2015 Posted May 14, 2015 (edited) Okay. The plural of "woman" is WOMEN. That is all. [if you're going to generalize my whole gender as horrible, immoral liars who do nothing but steal money and time from their hardworking men, at least get the grammar right.] Edited May 14, 2015 by whirl3daway 4
sandylee1 Posted May 14, 2015 Posted May 14, 2015 You are way too much of a pessimist, but I will say I find that the number of marriage breakdowns due to infidelity are on the up. That's both men and women cheating. What is more apparent though, is that women are cheating way more than before and as men are pretty often the higher earners, with SAHM, the innocent betrayed husband gets financially screwed. Giving half of their money (as they see it ) , to an unfaithful spouse, who you often have to pay spousal support for is a kick in the teeth. Having said that, you really can't think all women are like that. If you really want kids, without the woman, then as you said, why not adopt. Your negativity is really strong, though if that's all you've seen around you I see where it's coming from.
No Limit Posted May 14, 2015 Posted May 14, 2015 In case having a kid isn't important to you, get a vasectomy done. That way you're safe, and having a LTR without marriage isn't rare either these days. 1
Rejected Rosebud Posted May 14, 2015 Posted May 14, 2015 I would say don't get married and don't have children. You're bringing too much baggage to the table. . Yes that is the right advice for you!!! If you are too scared and negative you would be an awful husband or father, sorry, but you would. :( Nobody would want to be married to a man who thinks she is out to ruin his life!!! So just be single and happy, or else go to a counsellor for a long time to work through your huge fears before you even try to get in any kind of relationship. Women and men are not supposed to be enemies and as hard as it is for you to believe this there are alot of us in healthy and fun relationships and marriages with each other!! :bunny:
BlueIris Posted May 14, 2015 Posted May 14, 2015 Anyone could look at the scary or sad stories and decide that some group of people should be avoided. But it isn’t about having faith in others or trusting others. It’s about trusting yourself. If you trust yourself to make smart decisions about potential mates, you needn’t worry. Patiently take your time getting to know someone and be discerning about character and sincerity and you ought to be able to build trust in your ability to choose a good partner.
Rejected Rosebud Posted May 14, 2015 Posted May 14, 2015 I just have to stay away from woman that are bums. Women don't like bums either. Tell me since you are so full of knowledge about how horrible women are, 1) why would a wonderful woman choose you out of all the wonderful men there are out in the world and 2) why don't you just cross the whole idea of women off your list and spend your life doing things that you like??? If I hated men so much I sure wouldn't be spending my life with one! Luckily for me I like men and love one of them alot!!
msmeliss84 Posted May 14, 2015 Posted May 14, 2015 I can shed some happy light on the situation. Divorce is never a happy time, though, but still, you could definitely find someone who wont be a shrew if divorce happened. As long as you didn't have sex with her sister, apologize about it, and then proceeded to have sex with her cousin. I was married. Being a stay home mom for a few years, I missed out on the opportunity to advance my career. When we divorced (due to emotional differences) I could've taken him for everything. I had nothing and he had a hefty salary. I wanted no such thing. I ask for help with my bills every now and then when I'm really struggling with my sad wage and he sees her 50% of the time. In my case, I've been nice and bent over backwards to make it as easy as possible to see her even when he didn't have her. I kind of regret it because he's taken advantage and moving very far away for his new wife and its making school decisions and custody issues arise, but I never did anything terrible. The thing is, you can't be too sure about anything ever in life and you have to decide whether or not you can handle whatever the consequence is. Not having a family for possibly the rest of your life and growing old without children or a spouse by your side. Or taking a leap of faith and hoping whoever you choose doesn't screw you royally. Just make sure crazy doesn't run in her family history first and I think your chances will be good. Good luck!
El Pallasso Posted May 14, 2015 Posted May 14, 2015 Marriage in the western world is a fool's proposition for most men. There are little to no benefits for any man to get married. Women have most or all of the benefits. With one word, she can ruin your life forever. You'd have to be a fool to consider marriage. My advice to most young men is to simply date around. If you want kids really bad, get a surrogate mother, adopt, do IVF. Anything but getting married. She will get your house, kids, half your wealth, you have to pay for her upkeep through "alimony", and wait till child welfare rapes your wallet. The courts are heavily biased towards women. She can easily play victim and shed crocodile tears to ruin your life.
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