jay1983 Posted May 13, 2015 Share Posted May 13, 2015 Well played, Jay! >>hacked lol<< I give compliments when I feel they're deserved- even if it's just walking by casually. It's not cat-calling to flow by a beautiful woman and compliment her. It's the sincerity and words you use. If I say "you look hot," nothing happens. If I say "You look ravishing," she smiles. All about tact. I got the best compliment of my life, an older woman told me I have Whale-eyes. Some women don't know how to receive compliments, so sometimes no matter what I say will fall on deaf ears or a suspicious mind. Yeah, there was a thread running yesterday about street harassment (that hollaback thing) some women don't wanna be spoken to at all by a stranger. Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted May 13, 2015 Share Posted May 13, 2015 I hope you don't get slated - if anyone should it should be me for starting the thread. A responsibility I am prepared to and will take on - if it happens. Your response is one I thought (hoped) would come..OK there was a cheeky one trying it on and that was up to you - but, I am quite sweetened by American men I meet here. They are 'just pleasant' and if they asked then I might go for a coffee or spend some time doing something (no, not sex! Lol!) with them. I get nice a** from businessmen in their 40/50s driving past as I walk to work. I'm 46! How they think I might be chuffed by that comment is beyond me! I met another American today..he also said my hair was 'cool' and suited me... I laughed! He laughed! Er...we had 'wig dress up day at work' today and mine was a charming neon pink mullet style! I was hoping I wouldn't offend any British people with my comments, when I said I mentioned getting slated. There must be a fair few Americans where you live then? It's always good to smile back and say thanks for the complement. Never know what will happen next. Oh yeah. ...that one was a cheeky chappy and he may well have got what he (and I ) wanted, had I been older and more experienced. I think I was 17/18 at the time and tempting as it was, I wasn't about to 'loose it' to what was obviously going to be a ONS. That takes me back a very long time ago. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted May 14, 2015 Share Posted May 14, 2015 ... I think the UK in general is not a place for compliments, we are not good at giving them nor receiving them, .... You know, this is quite true... I learnt this by comparing what happens when you compliment someone from a different country (generally USA, Italy, France, they're the countries I am most familiar with....) and to a person, they all say "Why, thank you! How nice!" (In their respective languages, of course!) Say something nice to a British woman... how nice her jacket is, what a beautiful scarf she's wearing, isn't that skirt/dress lovely... And they'll come back with a rationale... Oh I've had it for years.... Do you know, it was a gift from my MiL.... I bought it in a sale.... I altered it and made it shorter..... anything but 'Thank you so much!" There's a lovely story I read in the Reader's Digest, about the wife of a minor Diplomat in the British embassy, whose husband was invited - with about a day's notice - to attend a major function, in the place of his immediate senior.... his wife realised she had nothing appropriate to wear, so she dashed out to one of the mjor department stores in London, and hurriedly bought herself an outfit for the evening. At the function, she was complimented on her dress by the partner of an American Envoy, to which she replied, "Oh this old thing? Goodness, I've had this for 3 hours...!" Link to post Share on other sites
Hawaii51 Posted May 14, 2015 Share Posted May 14, 2015 Lot of Vitamin D deficient folks in the UK. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted May 14, 2015 Share Posted May 14, 2015 Lot of Vitamin D deficient folks in the UK. Not I..... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
waterwoman Posted May 14, 2015 Share Posted May 14, 2015 "I think the UK in general is not a place for compliments, we are not good at giving them nor receiving them, we tend to suspect ulterior motives. Our sense of humour can be cutting at times, and "niceness" and compliment giving can be ridiculed, so we can grow up a tad suspicious" Yep. There are a few men in my office who will say nice things 'Hey, you've had your hair cut. It suits you' or 'Like your dress' etc. My first thought tends to be 'Why? Waddya want'! It creeps me out a little bit. I appreciate it's my problem but many British men aren't overly open about their feelings <understatement alert> so it seems suspicious. Taking the mick is far far more likely so I tend to hear compliments with a sarcastic undertone or wait for the punchline afterwards..... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ninjainpajamas Posted May 14, 2015 Share Posted May 14, 2015 (edited) An acquaintance/friend of mine was going on a trip to Los Angeles for business for the first time and she was a bit nervous, and wanted to know what to expect so she asked me for some tips. The event/party was being held at your typical luxurious house, which if you're not familiar with how things work out here...it's common for like business owners, or successful attorney's, doctors or what not, to organize an event at their homes, like a networking/social type of thing and also make connections and reinforce moral or what not. It can be your typical "Hollywood" type affair, very cordial and formal...everyone is dressed nice, on their best behavior but also very casual and relaxed..or at least pretending to be as much as possible because that's how we do it here. As an American, you need a lot of different types of skills here to be successful and well-respected, especially to gracefully manage those kinds of situations and come out well-liked and talked about...but that's a whole other thread. Basically I told her...everyone is going to be super nice and polite to you, however expect a few guys in particular that are going to come along and be very courteous, complimentary and charming...you're going to love the attention because you're not going to be used to that kind of attention but don't believe everything you hear and take it to heart, it's very much an in the moment kind of thing. But you're going to have a good time I promise you that, because Americans are very hospitable, especially to pretty girls especially if they're men, so you're going to feel like you're in the spot-light. Of course she came back glowing and loved it, a bit starry-eyed from one of the guys she met there as he fit the profile above in particular. An American woman from Los Angeles and familiar with this environment, is already conditioned to it and probably feels entitled to it already...she still glows in the attention of course, it just builds her ego and makes her feel all that much more entitled or even dismissive of it. But that's how it is in America superficially, it's very typical...we're competitive with other men and ourselves, we're typically taught to be aggressive but to have respect, we're also courteous to a degree and taught to do things like open-doors and be respectful of women (to a degree), we are expected to know how to behave socially, know how to conduct ourselves socially and be charming and witty when called for, and funny. That's if you want to succeed and stand out among the crowd, you can be a generic Joe, but you better be damn good at what you're doing otherwise or a celebrity or very good looking...but that's a pretty general expectation here, and I definitely don't see or notice this kind of dynamic in my experiences within Europe. Where Americans fail, is in being genuine...meaning actually believing or meaning what they say, and not for the sake of a good impression or to be polite/friendly. There's two sides to the coin, there's that social positive side, and then there's the real person underneath somewhere...as a self-proclaimed expert in that field, I'm pretty good at reading beneath that superficially sometimes overly fake and disingenuous behavior...I call people out on it all the time and just get down to what is real and genuine, which usually gains me a lot of respect in that regard, people are often surprised when you can see through it. Therefore as an American guy, and with a combination of my personality and personal "talents"...I can also be quite charming and socially aware, I give out compliments on a regular basis for different things and it's not a common thing at all where I'm at for men to do but I take advantage of my foreigner/different culture status. But I love being the nicest to older ladies, they're always very receptive and appreciate the nice gestures...with women your age or below, they might act very nervous, or not know how to respond or be a little suspicious of it...although I'm pretty good at reading people so I don't think I do much that makes people uncomfortable, I just think it is a little bit of a shock at times. But I've totally got this Russian lady in her 60's charmed she told me I'm her friend and that I'm handsome, which was really sweet of her....it was her birthday the other day so I asked her if she wanted her strip dance for her birthday, her friends around her laughed and she giggled and blushed bashfully and she didn't say anything Edited May 14, 2015 by Ninjainpajamas 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted May 14, 2015 Share Posted May 14, 2015 It varies depending on where you're from. ... but as you get onto the coasts and into the bigger cities, you get a lot ruder (as in other parts of the world). I have found that people from towns and cities in general tend to be much ruder. They can hide back in the crowd. If you stand out from the crowd ie you come from a small area where everyone knows you/ can easily find out who you are or you stand out because you are from a foreign country/ have something that makes you stand out easily you tend to be held to task more often for your actions. Its the old adage of getting away with what you can. Don't fret. I get the "tits and arse" comments as well - but I also get your hair looks nice or you have beautiful eyes comments or you have a beautiful voice or I heard thath you did that kind thing for so and so and it was lovely too... But then I am from a rural area and tend to shop etc in a small town locally that is closer to being a village. Even in the super markets they will recognise you. I am only a relative "unknown" because I keep myself to myself and go out of my way to do so... Last time I went shopping I got hugged by 6 people and hellos from several others. Its no unusual. Americans do seem to have a thing about our accent though. I don't know about you Gemma but mine is very "Queens English" and when I am in the US men and women drool over it! Don't forget that we British also are famous for our stiff upper lip and "grinning and bearing" it... we are much more reserved and self contained over here. Link to post Share on other sites
organizedchaos Posted May 14, 2015 Share Posted May 14, 2015 hey GUK, I was born in London...funny thing is that American women fall hard for men from England and Australia. Must be the accent. It is indeed. A guy with an English accent can easily hook up in the States. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted May 14, 2015 Share Posted May 14, 2015 I must go and look up some accents so I can tell where these guys are from, the accents were not obviously (not for me anyway) from a particular area. Gawd! I would have loved to say that UK men are not all like Jeremy Clarkson but often they are sadly! Anyway, Mr America out there, you are welcome to the return compliment here as you have deserved it! Just get some Englishmen in training....please.. But I wouldn't mind so much if they were all like Hammond, or May for that matter. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted May 14, 2015 Share Posted May 14, 2015 I'm from mainland Europe originally but have lived in the UK for most of my adult life. Generally, I think UK men are pretty crap at giving compliments; you either get a 'uhm, yeah you look nice' if you get anything at all, or you get the overly sexual ones like 'great tits, nice arse' or the like. Shame really, a nice non-sexual compliment can make my day. I don't know. I got properly looked over and flirted with by a Parliament street guard when I was there. He was shameless! I took a photo with him. And I was 50 by then, so it made me feel really good. They probably pay him to do that to tourists. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted May 14, 2015 Share Posted May 14, 2015 It is indeed. A guy with an English accent can easily hook up in the States. i used to know this one englishman named Simon. he moved here for work. the guy was tall and had a strong english accent. everywhere he went he had chicks all over him like bees to honey. Must be nice Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted May 14, 2015 Share Posted May 14, 2015 My favorite place for friendly men (I guess not necessarily chivalrous ones though) was L.A. Here in Texas at that time (80s), there were so many pretty women and the men don't even have to try if they're handsome or have anything to make them stand out, so they get very arrogant and in a bar, the attractive ones just lean back and wait for women to hang all over them, and are very fickle. They just had too many options. When I went to L.A., I remember I was outside the Roxy because I was waiting to pick up something from the on-call window, guys would just come up and talk. Not hitting on me, just being friendly and casual and completely the opposite of the snotty hard-to-get guys in my set (music) in Dallas. It was so refreshing that they just felt comfortable coming up and just chatting. Then at the party afterwards, I saw a handful of just stunningly gorgeous guys come in. Yes, they had the female entourage, but I was really blown away when this one really magnificent creature saw me in this really crowded room (we were both a bit tall, looking over people's heads) and he just smiled at me and nodded really nice. It was obvious he was just curious about "new girl in town." Just so much easier than in Texas. And then I had the date of my life another day there. A gorgeous guy who was a business acquaintance took me to a concert, picked me up and brought 3 other really cool guys with him, so I had like a 4-man date! I just loved the social scene there. But of course, all those guys probably came from every part of the country to live and work there. Link to post Share on other sites
StanMusial Posted May 14, 2015 Share Posted May 14, 2015 I always found the English quite pleasant to be around. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted May 14, 2015 Share Posted May 14, 2015 I always found the English quite pleasant to be around. nothing like having a hot cup of tea with an englishman Link to post Share on other sites
StanMusial Posted May 14, 2015 Share Posted May 14, 2015 nothing like having a hot cup of tea with an englishman I don't drink hot tea. I once got hammered with this old boy in the north country and we went and shot up a field with all of these weird caliber rifles. Link to post Share on other sites
Negative Nancy Posted May 16, 2015 Share Posted May 16, 2015 I've got a friend in NYC who I met on here. He's forever making insulting and misogynistic comments to me online - but he's very nice when you actually meet up with him in person. Last time I was there, he complimented me with "you're ageing well for a blonde." are you talking about wolf Link to post Share on other sites
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