leaving the door open for reconciliation?

[preraph]

Oh, my God, what cheek to ask you to donate to her after all this bile! She must think you'll just "get past" this. Maybe that's what being friends with that old enemy of hers has done to her. Or maybe this is a total bogus way to recoup a bunch of money she should never have spent on that wedding.

[d0nnivain]

Having spent some time with the "old enemy" I actually think that woman has matured. I still don't trust her but I could see that she wasn't the same wild crazy irresponsible twit that caused me problems all those years ago.

 

DH reminded me this morning of many incidents where my former friend's temper got her into trouble, which I of course got her out of it. She has now turned that anger on me & I refuse to take it. I am becoming more & more angry myself about this situation which is good in a way, because that is usually the last stage of grief before acceptance.

 

Thank you for being a sounding board as I continue to wade through this.

[Satu]

Having spent some time with the "old enemy" I actually think that woman has matured. I still don't trust her but I could see that she wasn't the same wild crazy irresponsible twit that caused me problems all those years ago.

 

DH reminded me this morning of many incidents where my former friend's temper got her into trouble, which I of course got her out of it. She has now turned that anger on me & I refuse to take it. I am becoming more & more angry myself about this situation which is good in a way, because that is usually the last stage of grief before acceptance.

 

Thank you for being a sounding board as I continue to wade through this.

 

She's not thinking and behaving rationally. Mentally and emotionally healthy people don't go in for orgies of nastiness.

 

At this point, she's lost to herself.

 

Let yourself feel angry when it comes up.

 

Above all else, take tender care of yourself and your good heart.

[preraph]

Having spent some time with the "old enemy" I actually think that woman has matured. I still don't trust her but I could see that she wasn't the same wild crazy irresponsible twit that caused me problems all those years ago.

 

DH reminded me this morning of many incidents where my former friend's temper got her into trouble, which I of course got her out of it. She has now turned that anger on me & I refuse to take it. I am becoming more & more angry myself about this situation which is good in a way, because that is usually the last stage of grief before acceptance.

 

Thank you for being a sounding board as I continue to wade through this.

 

I guess you were so close to her and so used to her that it was hard for you to tell when by a matter of degrees she began getting out on the edge. Nice to have your DH to help with some perspective. I mean, it's better to understand that this didn't happen overnight and all because of you but is a facet of her character that has been blossoming over time, despite all you've done to help her.

 

I do sympathize. I have a sister who recently crossed the line with me being irrational and really ugly. At the time I tried to blame it on her having a house guest (she's pretty reclusive), but she says no, it really was directed at me. I told her I didn't put up with that kind of treatment from anyone and that it was a dealbreaker. We are both getting up in age, and I took care of all her business, saved her house, cared for her and her animals for six months while she was in the hospital. She's likely to need me again and we're really all we have to lean on at such times, so I can't believe she'd jeopardize that. But truly, if she rages on me sometime when I'm trying to help her, I'll just stop helping her. There are people who just shoot themselves in the foot and alienate the best people they have. I'd have bailed on her decades ago if we weren't each other's only immediate family.

 

I guess all relationships have their season. People's flaws usually become more pronounced as they get older, too. Just from what all you've told us here on LS about this friendship, you've bent over backwards to help this woman. If the friendship has to end, at least you will have a clear conscious.