Ashleigh_Jane Posted May 9, 2015 Posted May 9, 2015 I’ve been through some social changes recently where I decided to ditch my group of friends. You can read it here – http://www.loveshack.org/forums/platonic/friendship/524858-why-can-t-people-keep-their-mouths-shut I decided to volunteer at an animal shelter to make friends but I met another girl that I was instantly attracted to, the sort of attraction that is overwhelming and is more that just "I think I like her". The details aren’t important but Thursday night we went out for drinks after work a with all of work and I gave her a lift home. She kissed me to say thanks and the kiss went from a thank you to a very passionate kiss. I stopped her and said if she’s still interested when she’s sober so would I be. I volunteered there again yesterday and we very nearly got caught because she just can’t keep her hands off me and I just don’t want to stop her. She asked me out on a date Sunday (tomorrow my time) and it’s clear that things will progress on date night. Now I’m probably over thinking this but how can I know if this is true or whether I’m just on some sort of rebound? I don’t want to hurt her in any way just because I’m a bit messed up at the moment but at the same time I don’t want to push her away when no-one has ever made me feel this way before. I really can't overstate how she makes me feel, I just don't know where the feelings are coming from. I'm very nervous about tomorrow. 1
jen1447 Posted May 9, 2015 Posted May 9, 2015 Hey Ashleigh. I remember your other thread, but I thought you were single-ish? If so, what's your worry about a rebound? I'm bi too and I understand your confusion tho. In my experience, the initial physical attraction and interaction with a woman is much more intense than with a man, which can lead to overwhelming arousal, which itself makes you wonder if it's just some animal instinct taking over and nothing more than that. Been there, believe me! The thing is, just bc the passion's there doesn't mean nothing else is, maybe underneath and maybe waiting for the physical stuff to sort itself out, but still there nonetheless. The only way to find out is to let it be what it'll be and give your emotions and your lust, frankly, the freedom to do what they want so that the dust can clear a little and you can see more clearly. As long as you're honest with yourself and her, I don't think there can be much of a problem. If I were you I'd tell her exactly how you feel and what you're thinking (ideally before the liplock starts lol), and if she's on the same page then you're good to find it all out organically. It could be it's just sexual for you - I've had that be the case many many times. But I've also found more underneath after the passion's been dealt with, so don't rule anything out. And enjoy yourself! There's nothing quite like it. 1
BetrayedH Posted May 9, 2015 Posted May 9, 2015 If you find yourself ignoring red flags about her, that's a red flag that you may just be on the rebound.
Author Ashleigh_Jane Posted May 10, 2015 Author Posted May 10, 2015 Hey Ashleigh. I remember your other thread, but I thought you were single-ish? If so, what's your worry about a rebound? I think maybe I shouldn't have used the term 'rebound'. What I meant was that I thought I might have been clinging to the first good thing that came along since losing my bff and walking away from my group of friends. I like what you say though, I'll just be upfront about where I am at (she knows some of it already) and let nature take its course. I'm off to visit mum (Mothers Day here in Australia) and then meeting her this afternoon. I am really nervous for some reason even though we have already kissed and I know she likes me.
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