jen1447 Posted May 3, 2015 Share Posted May 3, 2015 Exes have different levels of power and influence, so it's not always a linear backward progression on how much they can f*ck you up and for how long. The memories are generally 'good,' yeah. I mean, they're more or less whimsical or nostalgic or even sad, but they're not crushing in the way that those feelings are when you're in the present. Anyone who's been there knows - real romantic devastation doesn't really get covered wholly by the concept of 'sadness.' Basically our pasts are and always will be a part of us, and likewise the people who populated them. In that sense, remembering them through a musical trigger is just a way of chronicling your life. Link to post Share on other sites
fireflywy Posted May 3, 2015 Share Posted May 3, 2015 (edited) One thing I disagree with loveweary on is songs losing their power. I can hear some songs from that era now and they'll still take me back. Their power is gone in terms of making me have convulsions or anything, but they do still have the power to evoke memories like few other things in life. You can actually change this! Look up NLP anchoring on youtube. I'll see if I can find the link. Can't find the link itself, but basically you listen to a song which makes you emotional, then think of a different and pleasant memory, listen to the song again, replaying happy memory, and the song forms a new association. There are lots of cool things here. http://eg.nlpco.com/home/1-4/#axzz3Z6A2qFBJ This link doesn't have that anchoring technique though. Edited May 3, 2015 by fireflywy 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Jonp219 Posted May 3, 2015 Share Posted May 3, 2015 You can actually change this! Look up NLP anchoring on youtube. I'll see if I can find the link. Can't find the link itself, but basically you listen to a song which makes you emotional, then think of a different and pleasant memory, listen to the song again, replaying happy memory, and the song forms a new association. There are lots of cool things here. 1-4 Chapter Summary, Additional Demos, Bonus Activities - This link doesn't have that anchoring technique though. In this case, would the happy memory have to be something you did on your own or with a close friend? It's kind of hard not to associate a good memory with your ex when you're listening to a song that reminds you of them. Link to post Share on other sites
loveweary11 Posted May 3, 2015 Share Posted May 3, 2015 You can actually change this! Look up NLP anchoring on youtube. I'll see if I can find the link. Can't find the link itself, but basically you listen to a song which makes you emotional, then think of a different and pleasant memory, listen to the song again, replaying happy memory, and the song forms a new association. There are lots of cool things here. 1-4 Chapter Summary, Additional Demos, Bonus Activities - This link doesn't have that anchoring technique though. I'll admit I did this without knowing the technical terminology. I focused those lyrics away from the ex, onto someone new. Link to post Share on other sites
Jonp219 Posted May 3, 2015 Share Posted May 3, 2015 I'll admit I did this without knowing the technical terminology. I focused those lyrics away from the ex, onto someone new. Did it work for you? Doesn't the memory of that other person slip through the gaps sometimes? Link to post Share on other sites
loveweary11 Posted May 3, 2015 Share Posted May 3, 2015 Did it work for you? Doesn't the memory of that other person slip through the gaps sometimes? A little, but repetition helps. After a bunch of times, a pretty much forget about my ex entirely. I go weeks without thinking about her at all and only talk about her theoretically on here. I have no emotional at all for her. I'm years out though, but it was 12 years total, 10 married with her. Link to post Share on other sites
fireflywy Posted May 3, 2015 Share Posted May 3, 2015 I'll admit I did this without knowing the technical terminology. I focused those lyrics away from the ex, onto someone new. You can use this for all sorts of stuff. "NLP: The Essential Guide" is pretty readable and it applies to many other things. You can even use it at the gym to visualize a lift or draw motivation. Pretty damn awesome. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Jonp219 Posted May 3, 2015 Share Posted May 3, 2015 (edited) You can use this for all sorts of stuff. "NLP: The Essential Guide" is pretty readable and it applies to many other things. You can even use it at the gym to visualize a lift or draw motivation. Pretty damn awesome. I've read various NLP books and they had so many anchoring techniques it was hard to keep track of them all lol. First one I read was an Anthony Robbins book which saved my life when I was feeling suicidal at 19 years old. Essentially it's just associating a good thought with something you currently perceive as overwhelming or sad correct? I think that's one of the ones I read "NLP: The Essential Guide". Too bad it didn't save my relationship, my head was so far up my ass that I had a hard time apply any of it in my life. Edited May 3, 2015 by Jonp219 Link to post Share on other sites
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