Author smg15 Posted May 3, 2015 Author Share Posted May 3, 2015 How about a virtual hug (((hug)))....not the same though huh. Man, that sucks smg, I feel for ya. This might sound dorky, but have you thought about soliciting help from a dating coach? My friend did that, and it helped her tremendously! After a series of dates from hell or dates that went nowhere, she is now engaged! Just a thought.... No I just usually depend on youtube videos and articles. I have an idea now of how to act on a date which was something I have not been doing at all but managed to do it the past 3 dates. Flirting Strong Eye contact Asking her personal questions I was always doing these things below which is why the date went south 1. Talking about her job 2. Not talking and no eye contact 3. No touching or flirting 4.No Banter So I now see why I was a DULL DATE Link to post Share on other sites
SawtoothMars Posted May 3, 2015 Share Posted May 3, 2015 In the month that I've been reading your posts, it seemed to me that you had a negative and hopeless attitude with regard to dating. Now that I've read your OP today, you seem to have become less jaded, less bitter and are adopting a more positive and open attitude towards women and dating. I also like how you were brave enough to list (what you feel are) your shortcomings as well as your strong points; and I'm sure the girl who responded to your ad felt the same way and was impressed by your honesty and openness. Good luck on this date, Smg! I hope it all works out for you and that you both end up having lots of fun getting to know each other.. I think it's hard for people who never had to struggle with these things to understand how it makes you feel and how it affects your attitude. I notice that many of the women who try to break into our sales division run screaming for the hills within the first month, because they have never really faced this kind of rejection before. However, I should also note that the ones who stick around and learn to deal, often become the best of the best. Link to post Share on other sites
wizer Posted May 14, 2015 Share Posted May 14, 2015 I was always doing these things below which is why the date went south 1. Talking about her job 2. Not talking and no eye contact 3. No touching or flirting 4.No Banter So I now see why I was a DULL DATE Yes it's going to be a dull date if you're not even looking at her when she's talking to you. Even if you can't come up with things to say on your own you can certainly be a good listener. That takes nothing more than patience and understanding. Touching or flirting doesn't have to be part of the date. At least not the first one. Don't set your goals too high. Start with good eye contact and listening skills. Link to post Share on other sites
fitnessfan365 Posted May 14, 2015 Share Posted May 14, 2015 The fact that she called you twice, suggests interest IMO. If she was going to cancel on you, she probably would have left a voice mail. However, the fact that she's trying to get you on the phone seems like more of a confirmation IMO. So if you can't get her on the phone, just shoot her a quick text. "Phone tag.. you're it. ;-) Just confirming tonight @ 8pm" Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted May 14, 2015 Share Posted May 14, 2015 The fact that she called you twice, suggests interest IMO. If she was going to cancel on you, she probably would have left a voice mail. However, the fact that she's trying to get you on the phone seems like more of a confirmation IMO. So if you can't get her on the phone, just shoot her a quick text. "Phone tag.. you're it. ;-) Just confirming tonight @ 8pm" You are a little late to the party....see his post no. 19. Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted May 14, 2015 Share Posted May 14, 2015 I wanted to make sure I was open and honest and not mislead anyone. So she responded to my craigslist ad that had these 4 things listed about me. We met on Wednesday and talked twice and set to meet tomorrow. These are the things I listed 1. Not driving at moment.... 2. Slightly overweight 3. Thinning hair but good hair 4. Shy on first dates I think the fact that she accepted all of those things about me and still responded will make me less nervous tomorrow because I am not hiding anything. So this should go well I hope you can accept that she has all the same things on her list Link to post Share on other sites
Syberia Posted May 14, 2015 Share Posted May 14, 2015 Only lasted about 10 mins because she was not dressed properly for the date and made other plans to meet up with friends to see the fight I'm trying to understand this - so the OP bailed and watched the fight because of the way his date was dressed, or the woman changed plans on the OP and wanted to meet up with friends to watch the fight instead? Because if it was the first, unless she was dressed like a hobo, I would have given her a chance. Then again, maybe that's just me since I don't pay much attention to clothes. If someone only looks good because of what clothes (or makeup) they're wearing, then I'm not attracted to the real them. Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted May 14, 2015 Share Posted May 14, 2015 I'm trying to understand this - so the OP bailed and watched the fight because of the way his date was dressed, or the woman changed plans on the OP and wanted to meet up with friends to watch the fight instead? Because if it was the first, unless she was dressed like a hobo, I would have given her a chance. Then again, maybe that's just me since I don't pay much attention to clothes. If someone only looks good because of what clothes (or makeup) they're wearing, then I'm not attracted to the real them. I got the impression from his post that SHE was the one who bailed. Sad to say, she most likely did not find him attractive and thus needed a plausible excuse to make s quick exit... Not sure how plausible her excuse actually was, but it served its purpose. She got to leave quickly without too much fanfare. Link to post Share on other sites
empresario Posted May 14, 2015 Share Posted May 14, 2015 You, sir, need to be confident. Own your perceived flaws and work to improve them. There's nothing wrong with honesty...but by telling the worst things about you, you are more likely to attract damaged people rather than well-adjusted ones. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted May 14, 2015 Share Posted May 14, 2015 You, sir, need to be confident. Own your perceived flaws and work to improve them. There's nothing wrong with honesty...but by telling the worst things about you, you are more likely to attract damaged people rather than well-adjusted ones. My point exactly. If you focus on things that you feel are negative about yourself, you will attract people with similar traits and/or cause them to focus on that rather than the "whole" or "real" you. They may not have paid any attention to those things, but since you highlight it for them, that's what they see. Link to post Share on other sites
Author smg15 Posted May 15, 2015 Author Share Posted May 15, 2015 I got the impression from his post that SHE was the one who bailed. Sad to say, she most likely did not find him attractive and thus needed a plausible excuse to make s quick exit... Not sure how plausible her excuse actually was, but it served its purpose. She got to leave quickly without too much fanfare. She called 2 days later after the date but I wasn't interested. Link to post Share on other sites
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