smg15 Posted May 2, 2015 Posted May 2, 2015 I wanted to make sure I was open and honest and not mislead anyone. So she responded to my craigslist ad that had these 4 things listed about me. We met on Wednesday and talked twice and set to meet tomorrow. These are the things I listed 1. Not driving at moment.... 2. Slightly overweight 3. Thinning hair but good hair 4. Shy on first dates I think the fact that she accepted all of those things about me and still responded will make me less nervous tomorrow because I am not hiding anything. So this should go well
chantos Posted May 2, 2015 Posted May 2, 2015 It's good that you are honest, but why not focus on things that you do well instead of what you perceive as flaws? 2
Author smg15 Posted May 2, 2015 Author Posted May 2, 2015 It's good that you are honest, but why not focus on things that you do well instead of what you perceive as flaws? I had a good and bad list inside the ad. The good list is below 1. Stand at 6'4 2. Live alone in a nice neighborhood 3. College educated 4. Great sense of humor 5. State Government Job
still_an_Angel Posted May 2, 2015 Posted May 2, 2015 Hope your date goes well, good to know you listed both your good and not so good points. 1
Eternal Sunshine Posted May 2, 2015 Posted May 2, 2015 Many people are desperate to get into a relationship. Any relationship. 6
BlackOpsZombieGirl Posted May 2, 2015 Posted May 2, 2015 Many people are desperate to get into a relationship. Any relationship. I like your new pic, ES! . 1
Author smg15 Posted May 2, 2015 Author Posted May 2, 2015 Many people are desperate to get into a relationship. Any relationship. I'm just in need of affection. Haven't made out with a girl since December.
wizer Posted May 2, 2015 Posted May 2, 2015 No need to list the bad stuff in your ad. Let her figure that out for herself. Best foot forward. 2
BlackOpsZombieGirl Posted May 2, 2015 Posted May 2, 2015 I'm just in need of affection. Haven't made out with a girl since December. In the month that I've been reading your posts, it seemed to me that you had a negative and hopeless attitude with regard to dating. Now that I've read your OP today, you seem to have become less jaded, less bitter and are adopting a more positive and open attitude towards women and dating. I also like how you were brave enough to list (what you feel are) your shortcomings as well as your strong points; and I'm sure the girl who responded to your ad felt the same way and was impressed by your honesty and openness. Good luck on this date, Smg! I hope it all works out for you and that you both end up having lots of fun getting to know each other. . 2
Author smg15 Posted May 2, 2015 Author Posted May 2, 2015 In the month that I've been reading your posts, it seemed to me that you had a negative and hopeless attitude with regard to dating. Now that I've read your OP today, you seem to have become less jaded, less bitter and are adopting a more positive and open attitude towards women and dating. I also like how you were brave enough to list (what you feel are) your shortcomings as well as your strong points; and I'm sure the girl who responded to your ad felt the same way and was impressed by your honesty and openness. Good luck on this date, Smg! I hope it all works out for you and that you both end up having lots of fun getting to know each other. . I felt it was time for me to be up front about my hair and not hide it anymore. I can only imagine how unattractive I must have looked when I didn't reveal I was shy with thinning hair. Now that I am putting it out there I am shy with nice but thinning hair I won't as bad as I did.a month ago.
wizer Posted May 2, 2015 Posted May 2, 2015 I felt it was time for me to be up front about my hair and not hide it anymore. I can only imagine how unattractive I must have looked when I didn't reveal I was shy with thinning hair. Now that I am putting it out there I am shy with nice but thinning hair I won't as bad as I did.a month ago. Be upfront with your thinning hair in your profile pictures. No need to say anything, she can see it for herself. As far as being shy there is no need to say it. It's a negative aspect. No need to put it out there. 1
Sunyata Posted May 2, 2015 Posted May 2, 2015 You need to wear yourself with pride, rather than checking off everything that you think would be perceived as negative. If you love yourself and/or accept your so-called flaws as just aspects of being human, you will do a much better job at finding "the right one" and at being a mature, caring adult in relationships you get into. Perhaps this statement is idealistic as I don't fully practice it myself nor have I been challenged enough by being rejected for my flaws. 1
katiegrl Posted May 2, 2015 Posted May 2, 2015 I wanted to make sure I was open and honest and not mislead anyone. So she responded to my craigslist ad that had these 4 things listed about me. We met on Wednesday and talked twice and set to meet tomorrow. These are the things I listed 1. Not driving at moment.... 2. Slightly overweight 3. Thinning hair but good hair 4. Shy on first dates I think the fact that she accepted all of those things about me and still responded will make me less nervous tomorrow because I am not hiding anything. So this should go well On a deeper level, I suspect she admired your ability to be so forthright, honest and genuine in describing who you are... and THAT is what impressed her. That combined with the more favorable aspects of yourself you also described, you sound like a confident man who is comfortable in his own skin! A winner! And BTW, being shy is NOT necessarily a negative, many women actually prefer a little shyness. Shyness can be very endearing! 2
Author smg15 Posted May 2, 2015 Author Posted May 2, 2015 Looks like the date is not going to happen. I woke up and called her got no answer. I went in the bathroom and when I came back out I saw she called me twiced. I called her back again two times and got no answer So it looks like I can start planning what type of dinner I want to eat when I watch the game tonight at 8pm
SomeDude16 Posted May 2, 2015 Posted May 2, 2015 She didn't leave a message?? So you're playing phone tag? Don't ride it off yet...
Author smg15 Posted May 2, 2015 Author Posted May 2, 2015 She didn't leave a message?? So you're playing phone tag? Don't ride it off yet... I just got off the phone with her, she said we are still seeing each other but I will see supposed to be at 6:30pm
Author smg15 Posted May 2, 2015 Author Posted May 2, 2015 Still waiting to hear from her she said she was doing her hair Her cut off time is 8pm. It's 6:35pm now, if I am not out this house by 8pm she is going to have to meet me at my apartment
chantos Posted May 3, 2015 Posted May 3, 2015 I very honestly hope you watched what was one of the absolute best basketball games I've ever seen instead of going on that date.
Author smg15 Posted May 3, 2015 Author Posted May 3, 2015 I very honestly hope you watched what was one of the absolute best basketball games I've ever seen instead of going on that date. Only lasted about 10 mins because she was not dressed properly for the date and made other plans to meet up with friends to see the fight And the SPURS choked lol
guest569 Posted May 3, 2015 Posted May 3, 2015 I don't know why you would list things you see as negatives in your profile. I'm sure she would have gone on a date with you without having listed those things. You're basically stating 'i'm insecure about the following...' 1
Author smg15 Posted May 3, 2015 Author Posted May 3, 2015 I don't know why you would list things you see as negatives in your profile. I'm sure she would have gone on a date with you without having listed those things. You're basically stating 'i'm insecure about the following...' I am human and multiple rejections kind of plays a role in feeling less confident. I always feel that a man is only confident because of two things 1. His bank account 2. His success with women So my bank is not where i want it to be YET and have no made out with a woman since December of 2014 So I wouldn't say my confidence is low but just not as high at this time
Phoe Posted May 3, 2015 Posted May 3, 2015 I am human and multiple rejections kind of plays a role in feeling less confident. I always feel that a man is only confident because of two things 1. His bank account 2. His success with women So my bank is not where i want it to be YET and have no made out with a woman since December of 2014 So I wouldn't say my confidence is low but just not as high at this time I always am confused at how you focus on the rejections... You go out on first dates quite frequently. That is an ACCOMPLISHMENT! I bet you've gone on more first dates just this year, than I've gone on in my whole life. You're getting in the door, and that really is a good thing. Look at that side of it! Many folks cannot get a date at all. But you're getting dates! Regularly! That really is awesome.
Author smg15 Posted May 3, 2015 Author Posted May 3, 2015 I always am confused at how you focus on the rejections... You go out on first dates quite frequently. That is an ACCOMPLISHMENT! I bet you've gone on more first dates just this year, than I've gone on in my whole life. You're getting in the door, and that really is a good thing. Look at that side of it! Many folks cannot get a date at all. But you're getting dates! Regularly! That really is awesome. Yeah I am getting dates but like I said it's not leading to me making out with her or seeing her again. I am very desperate right now for a HUG or KISS and it has not happened since December of 2014. I almost wish I can go out on mental medical leave from my job so I can focus on getting a woman. lol Plus I hate going to work and having to see all those sexy women which reminds me how so badly I want to be intimate with a woman
Phoe Posted May 3, 2015 Posted May 3, 2015 Yeah I am getting dates but like I said it's not leading to me making out with her or seeing her again. I am very desperate right now for a HUG or KISS and it has not happened since December of 2014. I almost wish I can go out on mental medical leave from my job so I can focus on getting a woman. lol Plus I hate going to work and having to see all those sexy women which reminds me how so badly I want to be intimate with a woman I get it, I do, I haven't been hugged or kissed since early October. And being someone who does enjoy physical intimacy it's easily frustrating. I've gone years with no intimacy before and it makes these past 7 months seem like cake in comparison. But focusing on it always makes it that much worse. It's just an awful cycle. Focus on it, want it more, put more into it, feel even worse when it doesn't work. You've gotta let go of that.
katiegrl Posted May 3, 2015 Posted May 3, 2015 Yeah I am getting dates but like I said it's not leading to me making out with her or seeing her again. I am very desperate right now for a HUG or KISS and it has not happened since December of 2014. I almost wish I can go out on mental medical leave from my job so I can focus on getting a woman. lol Plus I hate going to work and having to see all those sexy women which reminds me how so badly I want to be intimate with a woman How about a virtual hug (((hug)))....not the same though huh. Man, that sucks smg, I feel for ya. This might sound dorky, but have you thought about soliciting help from a dating coach? My friend did that, and it helped her tremendously! After a series of dates from hell or dates that went nowhere, she is now engaged! Just a thought.... 1
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