Author csny111 Posted April 30, 2015 Author Share Posted April 30, 2015 Whelp, you answered my question with the Duggar comment. I certainly didn't mean the religion comment to be negative, I just thought it may explain your thought process a little more. Btw, I am a stay at home mother of six. Do what makes you happy. Why do you even need religion, to understand that this is the best way to do things? Link to post Share on other sites
goodyblue Posted April 30, 2015 Share Posted April 30, 2015 Why do you even need religion, to understand that this is the best way to do things? Well, couple of things. I don't think you need religion. I am not religious, but I assumed you were, and suspect I am right since you evaded which is fine. And I also do not agree that what you are doing is the best way. It is one of a thousand ways. I would never plan a wedding by myself. I stay at home with my children because my guy is well to do and has no need for me to work. He feels the family are better served with me taking care of our home, the kids and most of all him. But if something terrible happened I would certainly go to work, I have a great education and a pretty good skill set. You seem very young. Link to post Share on other sites
CPC Posted April 30, 2015 Share Posted April 30, 2015 This is the problem. Marriage is deteriorating, and it's this worldview that is destroying it. Where did you all you go to school? Public? Marriage is designed for sex, and procreation. Period. People aren't hardwired to wait until they are 30, and have degrees before marrying. Yes, the foundation of the relationship starts before the wedding, when you are seeking counsel from someone at a church and deciding if you are compatible. Your life starts after the wedding day. It's only been the last 30 years that we have this worldview of waiting until we are 30-35 to get married. And marriage is on the "DECLINE"!! That's not a good thing!!! Yes, I'm gonna say it... Women need to either get their butts back home and in the kitchen, or stop contributing to the rising decline of the sanctity of marriage!!!! my god, if I had to listen to your stone age views all day I'd gone insane before the week is out. even in the rural south most aren't this extreme. wow. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CPC Posted April 30, 2015 Share Posted April 30, 2015 Okay, well that's part of the problem. All of you went to a Catholic school, where they teach you you're supposed to pray to Mary. If ya'll went to such private, religious schools, then I am ashamed at all of you. I wonder if she's more friendly towards nonbelievers. how about Jews, Muslims, agnostics or, gasp, atheists. Link to post Share on other sites
CPC Posted April 30, 2015 Share Posted April 30, 2015 Actually, I just got off the phone with a Christian College, where I am considering studying Marriage & Families, and becoming a Christian Marriage Counselor. I even asked the guy on the phone, to make sure that they are a super conservative Christian college, and that I'm not going to get into one of their Psychology courses and hear "Oh, men and women are all the same" and blah blah blah, and all that non-sense. I can get a scholarship or whatever to do it, and they offer a lot of financing for this particular school (as long as I do the work). Seeing as the only thing I have ever wanted to do is be married (In a Christian, old fashioned context), I figure the next best thing is to study up on Christian Families and Marriages. Where they do teach Biblical studies, and subservience, and all of that perfect God's way type of thing. People shudder at the word "subservant" and I do not know why. Men & women are equal, but it's like a military ranking. Where you have the head of the military, and the rest of the military falls in line with the leader. That's the difference between men and women. Also, once a woman is married, her NUMBER 1 job shifts from serving the Lord, to serving her husband and her family. I do not find that harmful, at all. That is taking the best interests of both the woman, and the man into consideration. ...and Yes. I am not going to take a Catholic seriously. Lemme guess, you'll go there and complain because it isn't extreme enough or they let in someone who isn't extreme enough. Link to post Share on other sites
CPC Posted April 30, 2015 Share Posted April 30, 2015 Last name: Christ. First name: Jesus. Jesus would be a liberal if he were alive today, that wouldn't make her very happy. Link to post Share on other sites
CPC Posted April 30, 2015 Share Posted April 30, 2015 Why are you repeating yourself? Because that's what extremists do to be heard, scream at the top of their lungs repeatedly. Link to post Share on other sites
CPC Posted April 30, 2015 Share Posted April 30, 2015 Being angry at the world the Devil runs and controls, is only natural for a Christian. We will be persecuted for our faith, even if it is just on message boards. It's a fact of being a Christian. The problem is that, if everyone believed in Jesus, nobody would be able to persecute anymore, and we would be living in a world of love, and compassion. Unfortunately, because of the fall of man, the majority of the world will turn away from Jesus Christ, and that is sad. And infuriating. I'm mad, on BEHALF of God!! Some things needed to change, granted. Other things, did not. I am happy I am living in 2015, as opposed to 1950, but not EVERYTHING needed to change!!! The devil doesn't exist but your post cracks me up, I'm actually laughing. Are you serious? Can't be. Link to post Share on other sites
goodyblue Posted April 30, 2015 Share Posted April 30, 2015 (edited) Ten characters Edited April 30, 2015 by goodyblue Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted April 30, 2015 Share Posted April 30, 2015 ! I don't want my groom to have to put a penny towards the reception, or wedding. He will be the financial breadwinner after that, so I don't see the point! I prefer the old fashioned, traditional way of things. I'd say that ups my chances of a successful marriage, after the wedding, not that it hurts it! That's why I said, he would most likely be the breadwinner. My career choices, would not sustain us in a married life. They would help! But, they would not sustain us. I posted something similar over on another relationship advice forum, and people translated that as, "she's going to sit at home, not work, and have babies". Well... even if I DID choose to do that, that is my right (especially as a woman), and there's nothing wrong with that! However, I do make my own money and I will continue to do so once I am married. I simply stated that he would be the "breadwinner". Meaning, he would probably earn more than me. I will say, though. I do have a strong desire to home school my kids, if I ever have them. I do believe that babies need their moms, and that the mother's job is FIRST to her husband, and her children and her home. Which is why I said, if I DID choose to stay at home, while my husband works. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that!! I just need to find the groom. And he needs to understand the differences between men & women!! Lets say you get all of this -- an actual groom, the fairytale wedding you want, and a marriage where you stay home with the kids because you don't have an education / career that will support your family. Please explain how you will handle these issues: 1. Actually teaching your children? If you don't have the proper foundational knowledge how do you expect to impart the basics to other people? 2. A divorce or worse, the death of your husband? You have chosen to pick a career that won't sustain you. You want to live this traditional life which you deem better & superior to other people's more secular choices, but seriously have you given one ounce of thought to what happens to you & these darling home schooled children of yours if something happens to the primary breadwinner as you refer to your potential husband? God isn't going to magically let you win the lottery at that point. I'm really no trying to disparage your dream. I am imploring you to put some practical thought into it. Saving to pay for the wedding you want is practical. It's everything that comes after the party that I fear you have no meaningful idea about. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author csny111 Posted April 30, 2015 Author Share Posted April 30, 2015 Well, couple of things. I don't think you need religion. I am not religious, but I assumed you were, and suspect I am right since you evaded which is fine. And I also do not agree that what you are doing is the best way. It is one of a thousand ways. I would never plan a wedding by myself. I stay at home with my children because my guy is well to do and has no need for me to work. He feels the family are better served with me taking care of our home, the kids and most of all him. But if something terrible happened I would certainly go to work, I have a great education and a pretty good skill set. You seem very young. Actually, I'm not. Dunno why strict, conservative religious values and morals seems young. But, I get that a lot. Your guy? Or your husband?? Link to post Share on other sites
Author csny111 Posted April 30, 2015 Author Share Posted April 30, 2015 Can we get this back on topic plz? And stop attacking me because I want to pay/ask my parents to pay for my wedding???? Link to post Share on other sites
goodyblue Posted April 30, 2015 Share Posted April 30, 2015 Let us know when you have a fiance' or at least a boyfriend. Planning a one person wedding is lame. Fine, let your parents pay. But if/when you find a boyfriend, he may hate your color scheme, your venue, the food, cake flavor, decor, on and on, but this is all about you so plan your fake wedding and your parents can pay. Enjoy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Hope Shimmers Posted April 30, 2015 Share Posted April 30, 2015 Can we get this back on topic plz? And stop attacking me because I want to pay/ask my parents to pay for my wedding???? Given that you don't want to discuss reasons why you or others feel the way they do about this topic, and you don't seem to want to hear other diverging opinions, there really isn't much to talk about. You want your parents/you to pay for the wedding. Great! Others feel differently. Okay! Not much else to say.... Link to post Share on other sites
anika99 Posted May 1, 2015 Share Posted May 1, 2015 Given that you don't want to discuss reasons why you or others feel the way they do about this topic, and you don't seem to want to hear other diverging opinions, there really isn't much to talk about. You want your parents/you to pay for the wedding. Great! Others feel differently. Okay! Not much else to say.... To be fair to the OP, she was answering questions but then moderators stepped in and told everyone to stay on topic Re:who pays for the wedding? Given that, it's not really fair to try to lead her off topic again. Link to post Share on other sites
Hope Shimmers Posted May 1, 2015 Share Posted May 1, 2015 To be fair to the OP, she was answering questions but then moderators stepped in and told everyone to stay on topic Re:who pays for the wedding? Given that, it's not really fair to try to lead her off topic again. I didn't lead her off topic. Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted May 1, 2015 Share Posted May 1, 2015 Unless your parents arranged the marriage I don't see why they should pay. In any event I fully expect that my future husband and I will foot the bill for our own wedding. I will make significantly more money than my parents ever did and they cannot afford it for one, but even if they could, I can't fathom expecting them to pay. If they had the money and wanted to pay for some part of it as a gift, sure, but the bill for the whole thing? It seems unreasonable to me. I also want to do things how I and my future husband want to do them and I feel like if someone else is paying they will feel like they get more of a say than they really should have and I don't want that. Link to post Share on other sites
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